3/10
Move Over, Bianca!
14 October 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Caught this last night. I'm aware of the aborted Marilyn Monroe version, and recognized some parts of this from that. My big problem with this was the character development, more specifically, the 180 Nick does. He was so anxious to marry Bianca, he has Ellen declared legally dead. But when Ellen suddenly shows up out of nowhere, he can't kick Bianca to the curb fast enough! If the movie showed him conflicted, not knowing what to do, I could have gotten on board with it. Instead, Nick was such a jerk, I was hoping that he'd wind up alone!

Polly Bergen was terribly miscast. She simply has a toughness that works against her trying to sell the fragile Bianca as the real victim here. Heck, she's more into her shrink than she ever was into Nick!

Garner was better than I imagine Dean Martin would have been in the Monroe version, but I couldn't help but think that another actor would have been better than Garner.

Don Knotts was simply creepy. I don't know if that was due to the hack, sorry, director behind the camera or a sample of Knotts's range, but his take was completely wrong.

As for Doris, nobody does self-righteous indignation like Doris. In "Pillow Talk," her outbursts were perfect because they were totally justified. But here, they're just plain childish. Ellen has nothing to be cheesed about. Her getting worked up over Bianca made no sense, and the car wash episode made her look like a loon instead of an otherwise level-headed woman wanting nothing more than to return to her family.

What saves this from being a total waste is Thelma Ritter as Nick's mother. I liked how she and Doris have a grown-up relationship; Ellen calls her Grace instead of Mrs. Arden, unlike Samantha on "Bewitched" who always called Darin's mother Mrs. Stephens. And Grace knows all along what's best for her boy. You go, girl!
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