Wow, this is the most poorly made thing I've ever seen in my life. The story is like...I don't know what. Sometimes when you're watching a cheap B movie, something will happen that's just so stupid that you almost want to yell at the TV screen. Now, imagine a movie that consists of nothing but moments like that, one after another.
It starts with a bunch of guys with machine guns fighting some guys with spears. Even though the guys with spears stand still, right out in the open, the guys with machine guns can't hit them. Every time a spear is thrown, it lands right in a barrel of rocket fuel and kills a dozen of the guys with machine guns.
Then some guys attack the village where the "shadow people" live. (Aren't those the folks from Anaconda?) The helicopters fire missiles which only hit the grass huts. Then they attack with hand grenades, which only hit the previously blown up grass huts. Though they're not blown up anymore until the hand grenades hit them. Then we see a waterfall blow up, you know, from one of those Rambo movies when the Russians dropped a big bomb on Stallone.
Then there's a plane that has a 727 for coach, and a DC-10 for first class. Heck, first class is as big as a restaurant or something. They put all the coach passengers in first class, and it's still half empty. Someone fires a missile at the plane, but luckily there's a nerd on board who, in a couple of minutes, reprograms the plane's computer to emit a false radar image. It's also a GCI passenger jet, and it does turns which must pull about 30 g's.
And that's just a small portion of the obvious screw ups. The story of this thing makes that seem like nothing in comparison. I feel the need to repeat that - all those screw ups are absolutely nothing in comparison to the story. Imagine some ridiculously preachy environmentalist propaganda piece mixed with a horrible B movie adventure type thing, and throw in some "killer bees", which are actually just regular cute little honey bees. I really loved the part where the guy named "Saviour" (yes, I'm not kidding) starts preaching about how the female lead's government is responsible for destroying the rain forest. I mean, they're in South America, and she's obviously from Britain. The movie opens with "Tensions are high due to the United States refusal to sign the Kyoto agreement". But the point of contention is about building a highway through the rain forest. I wasn't aware that global warming is responsible for highway construction. But what does it matter...once you get preaching, it's hard to stop even if you quit making sense a couple of hours ago. As far as the mega super highway through the rain forest - it doesn't go anywhere. Are there a lot of super highways built that just sort of end out in the middle of nowhere? And then our characters find a tractor out in the middle of the jungle and conclude that it is proof that they're going to extend the highway at least as far as the position of the tractor. I guess it's inconceivable that a small tractor, 100 miles from the construction site, might be used for anything other than building a super highway. The apparent theory is that they airdrop the equipment out in the middle of the jungle so that it will be available for use when the highway gets there.
There are lots of really terrible B movies out there, but they all pale in comparison to this grand accomplishment. Someone should create a research project to find out what in the world goes on inside the heads of the people who made this. It's unfathomable.
It starts with a bunch of guys with machine guns fighting some guys with spears. Even though the guys with spears stand still, right out in the open, the guys with machine guns can't hit them. Every time a spear is thrown, it lands right in a barrel of rocket fuel and kills a dozen of the guys with machine guns.
Then some guys attack the village where the "shadow people" live. (Aren't those the folks from Anaconda?) The helicopters fire missiles which only hit the grass huts. Then they attack with hand grenades, which only hit the previously blown up grass huts. Though they're not blown up anymore until the hand grenades hit them. Then we see a waterfall blow up, you know, from one of those Rambo movies when the Russians dropped a big bomb on Stallone.
Then there's a plane that has a 727 for coach, and a DC-10 for first class. Heck, first class is as big as a restaurant or something. They put all the coach passengers in first class, and it's still half empty. Someone fires a missile at the plane, but luckily there's a nerd on board who, in a couple of minutes, reprograms the plane's computer to emit a false radar image. It's also a GCI passenger jet, and it does turns which must pull about 30 g's.
And that's just a small portion of the obvious screw ups. The story of this thing makes that seem like nothing in comparison. I feel the need to repeat that - all those screw ups are absolutely nothing in comparison to the story. Imagine some ridiculously preachy environmentalist propaganda piece mixed with a horrible B movie adventure type thing, and throw in some "killer bees", which are actually just regular cute little honey bees. I really loved the part where the guy named "Saviour" (yes, I'm not kidding) starts preaching about how the female lead's government is responsible for destroying the rain forest. I mean, they're in South America, and she's obviously from Britain. The movie opens with "Tensions are high due to the United States refusal to sign the Kyoto agreement". But the point of contention is about building a highway through the rain forest. I wasn't aware that global warming is responsible for highway construction. But what does it matter...once you get preaching, it's hard to stop even if you quit making sense a couple of hours ago. As far as the mega super highway through the rain forest - it doesn't go anywhere. Are there a lot of super highways built that just sort of end out in the middle of nowhere? And then our characters find a tractor out in the middle of the jungle and conclude that it is proof that they're going to extend the highway at least as far as the position of the tractor. I guess it's inconceivable that a small tractor, 100 miles from the construction site, might be used for anything other than building a super highway. The apparent theory is that they airdrop the equipment out in the middle of the jungle so that it will be available for use when the highway gets there.
There are lots of really terrible B movies out there, but they all pale in comparison to this grand accomplishment. Someone should create a research project to find out what in the world goes on inside the heads of the people who made this. It's unfathomable.