I like horror films, I like thrillers, I like (well-made) slasher flicks. I feel I should establish this at the start of this comment/review. With that, here we go:
[Rant] It has been some considerable time since I have seen a film this morally repugnant, technically inept and benightedly unintelligent. I have just spent two of the most excruciatingly unenjoyable hours of my movie-going life watching what can most kindly be termed a pile of witless crap, not wanting to walk out for fear of offending the friends that my wife and I went to the cinema with.
I was quite frankly glad when the five central characters were dispatched in tediously unimaginative fashion, but was disappointed to note that no-one appeared to have done the decent thing and ensured that the director, cameraman and scriptwriter (now that's GOT to be an offence under the Trades Description Act) joined them in gory oblivion. If they'd asked, I'd have done it myself, only too happy to help.
This film is utterly devoid of any plot worth noticing (they have a plot device, but it's more guff than mcguffin). Characterisation is minimal, risible and banal. The script makes Conan the Barbarian sound like Citizen Kane. Their attempt to co-opt "Teh Intarweb" as a dramatic device is possible the only bright moment in the film as one of the characters converts his GPS receiver into a wireless modem and gets better page load times than I get with a 512kbps cable service. How dey do dat den? The film is poorly shot with abysmal wacky camera angles.
On another level, the films treatment of the female characters is actually downright nasty - and I'm not talking about Halloween-type scream queen stuff, it's just deeply unpleasant.
I don't even have much of an objection to dumb films, but this one doesn't even fall into the "so bad it's at least a good laugh" category.
All in all I can heartily recommend this film to anyone that I really don't like - but you guys here, do yourselves a favour and avoid this one.
This has been a cinematic health warning, thank you for your attention. /RANT]
[Rant] It has been some considerable time since I have seen a film this morally repugnant, technically inept and benightedly unintelligent. I have just spent two of the most excruciatingly unenjoyable hours of my movie-going life watching what can most kindly be termed a pile of witless crap, not wanting to walk out for fear of offending the friends that my wife and I went to the cinema with.
I was quite frankly glad when the five central characters were dispatched in tediously unimaginative fashion, but was disappointed to note that no-one appeared to have done the decent thing and ensured that the director, cameraman and scriptwriter (now that's GOT to be an offence under the Trades Description Act) joined them in gory oblivion. If they'd asked, I'd have done it myself, only too happy to help.
This film is utterly devoid of any plot worth noticing (they have a plot device, but it's more guff than mcguffin). Characterisation is minimal, risible and banal. The script makes Conan the Barbarian sound like Citizen Kane. Their attempt to co-opt "Teh Intarweb" as a dramatic device is possible the only bright moment in the film as one of the characters converts his GPS receiver into a wireless modem and gets better page load times than I get with a 512kbps cable service. How dey do dat den? The film is poorly shot with abysmal wacky camera angles.
On another level, the films treatment of the female characters is actually downright nasty - and I'm not talking about Halloween-type scream queen stuff, it's just deeply unpleasant.
I don't even have much of an objection to dumb films, but this one doesn't even fall into the "so bad it's at least a good laugh" category.
All in all I can heartily recommend this film to anyone that I really don't like - but you guys here, do yourselves a favour and avoid this one.
This has been a cinematic health warning, thank you for your attention. /RANT]