Review of Romance

Romance (1999)
1/10
Insolid as a Rocco!
1 September 1999
A male porn star in a wannabe feminist treatise about human sexuality and unrequited desire? Get outta here!

I feared the worst when I went to see this movie with some friends (we were 2 men and 3 women). After about 15 minutes (when the first person of the audience ostentatively left the cinema) we looked at each other and braced ourselves to sit through this uninspired, unsexy, unintriguing piece of film-making, and we knew that, yes, we would not be disappointed in our prediction: This in one BAD movie!

Although in some scenes the main actress is doing a fine job, her annoying voice from the off gets on your nerves after the second time you hear it.

The sex scenes, albeit very graphical with frontal, dorsal and every other type of nudity imaginable, are rather more sickening than scintillating. Maybe that's the one point where the film succeeds; to depict sexuality as something frustrating, nauseating from a frustrated, nauseated woman's point of view.

What my female colleagues hated the most about the movie was the tone of generalization. The film suggests that all women are like the main character and experience sex in that way; but, thank God, that's not true!

The best scene of the movie was, strangely enough, dominated by a man (in the most literal sense), as the sadistic school head-master ties up the female main character in a Japanese bondage ceremony, all the while ranting on about how he f***ed "Grace Delly" (sic!) in Monaco some years ago. The monologue there was most likely improvised and, sadly enough, the improvisation is better than the rest of the (scripted) dialogue.

Sorry folks, this film is not worth watching. If you wanna see well-done porn, rent porn. If you wanna see a well-done, psychologically sound movie about the troubles (and joys) of sexuality, watch "Better than chocolate".

This one here qualifies in neither category.
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