How about a cigarette and a shower after this one?
4 March 2001
Obviously, somebody's been attending the Joe Esztherhas (sp?) School of Screenwriting. Oh, it's not too tough to see why Lou wanted to do this flick...with Kate Vernon as his co-star; what horny, red-blooded actor wouldn't? But even with the few interesting plot twists this offers above the usual soft-core porn cable fodder, this one still makes you feel like you need to spray your TV screen with Lysol afterwards.

Vernon is a talk-show sex therapist who counsels listeners by day, then medicates herself by night with a plethora of anonymous sexual encounters, (we can only assume she does it a lot, because we only get to see one of them, and on-screen sex never looked so simulated. Physician, heal thyself, indeed!)

Of course, the Usual Thing In Sexual Thrillers happens: she is accosted at a book signing by the 'mysterious' Phillips, who also shadows her to the home of a close friend, (benefactor or hanger-on, it's never made very clear), where they also have their First Monumental Encounter.

She's left a little embarassed but turned on at how he left her and how well he seems to know what she likes, blah, blah, blah, the routine stuff. Then at their next meeting, things take a surprising and potentially nasty turn, but to say just how would spoil one of the few surprises the film has to offer.

As a cross between Dr. Ruth and Dr. Laura, (without the latter's hypocritical moralizing) in the body of a Playboy model, Vernon gives the role what depth she can, but this is definitely Lou's baby all the way, and make no mistake about it, she's there primarily to serve as the object of his affection, rejection, you name it. Having power fantasies about controlling beautiful, impetuous women is not necessarily a bad thing, but do we have to be subjected to these moviemaking-as-sex-therapy entries? Lou has the exhibitionist's drive to execute his fantasies, but he lacks Joe's commitment to play it to the bone (pardon the pun), no matter how twisted the proceedings may get, which places TOUCH squarely in the 'Skinamax-After-Midnight' category.

And I really resented the total misuse of Max Gail and Mitch Pileggi, two actors who are much better than the projects they usually wind up getting. Showing up as convenient plot devices-cum-target practice dummies is not their true forte; they're much better than that, and hopefully the projects they get in the future will be as well.

One of the few redeeming qualities given any of the characters, is that by the end, Vernon at least has learned how to embrace her sexuality and accept her carnal idiosyncracies as normal and even healthy, unusual for a "sexual thriller," where the heroine is usually required to appear chaste, demure and repentant by the time the credits roll. She has finally learned to take her own advice, something few of us in the real world ever do.

Not quite thrilling enough to serve as a second-tier BASIC INSTINCT knockoff, and not steamy enough to arouse as much as bargain-rate porno, DANGEROUS TOUCH provides a little tittilation, but you won't respect yourself in the morning. Not so much for the middling prurience, but for the fact that this is ninety minutes of your life that can't be refunded.
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