Review of Cyborg

Cyborg (1989)
3/10
-ouch-
30 April 2001
Okay, before I even delve into the horrors of this film, I'd just like to know what the heck is with Kitty Chalmers obsession with guitars?? Couldn't she come up with some more original names? Gibson Rickenbacker, Fender Tremolo, Marshall Strat, Roland Pick...GIVE ME A BREAK!!

Okay, now that that's out of the way, this film is pure cheeze. Non-stop cheddar from beginning to end. The thinnest of plots, the background is so shallow you need a helmet to wade through it...and the acting is *horrible*!! Not that I expected much from a Van Damme film, but COME ON!!! Vincent Klyn can barely put two syllables together! It amazes me that he could even get through his lines! (And what's with that outfit? The sunglasses were bigger than his head (nice contacts, btw...) and that chain (?) mail was odd-looking...

Anyways, the plot is cheezy, the acting's horrid, the effects are worse (even for 1989!), the costumes look like they were from the Mad Max rejection pile...in fact, this entire film is like one giant Mad Max outtake!

Overall: I can't believe I actually ever almost liked this film (I saw it in the theater in '89 and thought it was fairly good). If you want to see Van Damme that's even *close* to worth watching, skip this one and rent Hard Target (GO JOHN WOO!!), Kickboxer or Bloodsport. 3/10.
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