"Taps" softly plays in the background...
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here today to reflect on the brutal death of the valiant soldier(s) only referred to as G.I. Joe.
When this series started, it featured a battalion of valiant soldiers out to defend the world against the terrorist organization, COBRA. But if you really pay attention, this show was REALLY about a group of so-called terrorists back-biting each other in entertaining ways while trying to defend themselves against G.I. Joe! From Cobra Commander making laughable plots while Destro shakes his head in embarrassment, to Zartan trying to lead a group of knucklehead Bikers who screw up all the time, everyone was pretty much looking out for #1. This was what really made G.I. Joe entertaining. Besides, how cool would Snake Eyes be if he didn't have a Stormshadow to fight? How interesting would G.I. Joe be if they faced anyone but Cobra? Not very.
Around the third season, things went wrong. The abomination called Serpentor was shoved down our throats, and Cobra went from looking out for #1 to looking out for Serpentor! The entertainment factor that Cobra provided was killed, now that they're all reduced to being Serpentor's BOOT-LICKERS. Even worse, G.I. Joe becomes even less interesting, since they all had to take a back seat to SGT. Slaughter, a bloated, overrated pro-wrestler who was forced into the G.I Joe series.
As bad as things were getting, THIS 'MOVIE' WOULD MAKE THINGS FAR WORSE...
This movie introduced a new element to the Cobra ranks...a race of mutants known as COBRA-LA, lead by Golobulus (voiced by the late Burgess Meredith, AKA Rocky's trainer). This group of mutants would make Cobra even LESS entertaining. Wheras before, everyone would kiss up to Serpentor. Now everyone, including Serpentor, is kissing up to Cobra-LA. Then they would go on to pull off one of my least favorite writers tricks: RETRO-ACTIVE CONTINUITY! We were supposed to believe that Cobra Commander was always a blue-skinned freak who as once one of the citizens of Cobra-LA...even though he CLEARLY HAD CAUCASIAN SKIN WHENEVER HE WORE THE CLOTH MASK!!!! HOW STUPID DID THEY THINK WE WERE?! OH...remember those dreams that Dr. Mindbender got that coersed him into digging up corpses? They were brought to him by Golobulus. Then they would write off Cobra Commander by making him a snake! WONDERFUL!! Now that everyone in Cobra is now a BOOT LICKER, they had to get rid of the ONLY COBRA CHARACTER WITH A PERSONALITY!!!!
On the OTHER side of the fence, the writers tried to create some unrest in G.I. Joe's ranks by introducing Duke's brother, Lt. Falcon (voiced Don 'Sprocket' Jonson) to flirt with everybody and act up. At one point, Falcon was busy hittin' on Jinx (G.I. Joe's new female ninja) whileletting Cobra plow through the place. Thing is, his irresponsibilty would be short lived by the end of the movie. So much for that!
Then came Duke's 'final battle' with Serpentor, which ended with Duke getting impaled with Sepentor' snake. Thing is, they didn't went the same thing that happened after Optimus Prime's death to happen here too, so they rewrote it as a coma. Problem is, Flint could've replace Duke with no problem. The REAL injustice, the elimination of Cobra Commander, was left unchecked. Anyone could've replaced Duke...NO ONE COULD REPLACE COBRA COMMANDER.
This movie was briliantly animated, especially the opening sequence, which is the ONLY reason to check for this movie. But no ammount of brilliant animation could undo the damage that this movie left on the G.I. Joe franchise.
And now you know...and knowing is half the battle... ...even if it's several years after the fact.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here today to reflect on the brutal death of the valiant soldier(s) only referred to as G.I. Joe.
When this series started, it featured a battalion of valiant soldiers out to defend the world against the terrorist organization, COBRA. But if you really pay attention, this show was REALLY about a group of so-called terrorists back-biting each other in entertaining ways while trying to defend themselves against G.I. Joe! From Cobra Commander making laughable plots while Destro shakes his head in embarrassment, to Zartan trying to lead a group of knucklehead Bikers who screw up all the time, everyone was pretty much looking out for #1. This was what really made G.I. Joe entertaining. Besides, how cool would Snake Eyes be if he didn't have a Stormshadow to fight? How interesting would G.I. Joe be if they faced anyone but Cobra? Not very.
Around the third season, things went wrong. The abomination called Serpentor was shoved down our throats, and Cobra went from looking out for #1 to looking out for Serpentor! The entertainment factor that Cobra provided was killed, now that they're all reduced to being Serpentor's BOOT-LICKERS. Even worse, G.I. Joe becomes even less interesting, since they all had to take a back seat to SGT. Slaughter, a bloated, overrated pro-wrestler who was forced into the G.I Joe series.
As bad as things were getting, THIS 'MOVIE' WOULD MAKE THINGS FAR WORSE...
This movie introduced a new element to the Cobra ranks...a race of mutants known as COBRA-LA, lead by Golobulus (voiced by the late Burgess Meredith, AKA Rocky's trainer). This group of mutants would make Cobra even LESS entertaining. Wheras before, everyone would kiss up to Serpentor. Now everyone, including Serpentor, is kissing up to Cobra-LA. Then they would go on to pull off one of my least favorite writers tricks: RETRO-ACTIVE CONTINUITY! We were supposed to believe that Cobra Commander was always a blue-skinned freak who as once one of the citizens of Cobra-LA...even though he CLEARLY HAD CAUCASIAN SKIN WHENEVER HE WORE THE CLOTH MASK!!!! HOW STUPID DID THEY THINK WE WERE?! OH...remember those dreams that Dr. Mindbender got that coersed him into digging up corpses? They were brought to him by Golobulus. Then they would write off Cobra Commander by making him a snake! WONDERFUL!! Now that everyone in Cobra is now a BOOT LICKER, they had to get rid of the ONLY COBRA CHARACTER WITH A PERSONALITY!!!!
On the OTHER side of the fence, the writers tried to create some unrest in G.I. Joe's ranks by introducing Duke's brother, Lt. Falcon (voiced Don 'Sprocket' Jonson) to flirt with everybody and act up. At one point, Falcon was busy hittin' on Jinx (G.I. Joe's new female ninja) whileletting Cobra plow through the place. Thing is, his irresponsibilty would be short lived by the end of the movie. So much for that!
Then came Duke's 'final battle' with Serpentor, which ended with Duke getting impaled with Sepentor' snake. Thing is, they didn't went the same thing that happened after Optimus Prime's death to happen here too, so they rewrote it as a coma. Problem is, Flint could've replace Duke with no problem. The REAL injustice, the elimination of Cobra Commander, was left unchecked. Anyone could've replaced Duke...NO ONE COULD REPLACE COBRA COMMANDER.
This movie was briliantly animated, especially the opening sequence, which is the ONLY reason to check for this movie. But no ammount of brilliant animation could undo the damage that this movie left on the G.I. Joe franchise.
And now you know...and knowing is half the battle... ...even if it's several years after the fact.