R u old enough to remember an incredibly stupid, cheap, and silly tv show from the early 80's called "Greatest American Hero"? Well...THIS IS WORSE!!! :=8P Geeky, spindly dork in a cheap costume flies about a rear-projection sound stage, to home-made casio-disco moosic, defeating a leathery-looking Donald Pleasance("Halloween", "You Only Live Twice", "THX 1138") who has stolen a cheap gold foil mask to brainwash the world through plastic heads with wires. That about covers it. :=8P Words simply cannot convey the jaw-dropping cheapness and absurd stupidity of this awful Italian import that's cheesier than a cat covered in parmesan. Walter George Alton(who???) plays Puma Man, easily the worst, lamest, saddest "super-hero" ever filmed. These are his "super powers": He floats awkwardly through a rear-projection set at around 3 miles an hour via a string tied to his narrow butt; with the aforementioned string, he hops about like some demented, fur-less rabbit; his fingers are claws that can rend aluminum and paper-mache bricks; he can sort of "walk" off the scene(off camera) and appear magically someplace else(somewhere else on-camera again); his awesome "puma vision" allows him to see everything in bright red. The MooCow dares you not to laugh yer fool head off upon viewing any one of these so-called "powers", especially the oh-so-realistic flight. But our hero is not alone. Square-headed Vidinio, an "Aztec" high priest who cowmoonicates with the gods(space aliens), and tosses people out of windows & demands they try on belts just for kicks, is our would-be hero's ally/side-kick/teacher. It is he who teaches Puma Man the powerful super secret Puma Man mantra which harnesses the powers of the cosmos for Puma Man: "Every man is a god, every man is free". Sydne Rome plays Jane Dobson, a useless blonde twit of a love-interest. Poor Donald Pleasance has to try and act menacing while hiding behind an aluminum foil mask painted gold. All of these cosmic forces collide in "Puma Man", resulting in easily the feeblest fantasy flick this cow has seen since "Jack Frost"(Mazorko). Dew watch the MST3K version of this fiasco; dew tie strong ropes around your sides to assist them from splitting open with laughter, you will need them. Basically, the MooCow says if yer looking for easy laughs, then this is the flick fer you, 'cause this Puma is a PHEW-ma, man! ;=8)
Review of The Pumaman
