"That sounds like a lot of alls!"
16 September 2004
There was an urban myth doing the rounds back in the seventies that this film was part-financed by the Beatles' Apple Corps company. If that is the case, then the fab four must have ingested more dodgy chemicals than anyone would have thought possible, because this is as bad as it gets. Patrick Mower and Judy Geeson are to comedy acting what sealions are to light engineering, and every moment they're on screen you'll want to hide behind the furniture. Kenneth Connor has little to do that isn't embarrassing in some way (his impersonation of a Nazi plane has to be one of the most cringe-making moments in the history of cinema) and the few loyal Carry On team members who could be bothered to turn up for this lazy, crude, shambolic outing are thrown away in cameo parts. The only part that raised a smile with me was Diane Langton attempting to operate the steering mechanism on the anti-aircraft gun, only to be thwarted by her protuberant bosom. Then Peter Jones, whose lines are intentionally awful but rendered even worse by his drab playing, completely kills the scene with his comment about "keeping abreast of the situation". One can only dream of what Talbot Rothwell (the screenwriter who bowed out of the series two years before) would have had Sidney James saying about this seaside postcard scenario...
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