wpirotte Reviews

Paul (2011)

another surprise

[8/10 · 5 April 2024]

If this movie was EVER promoted, I guess I missed it. Its very existence was a surprise, as was the use of many extremely familiar actors. The acting, directing, production were strong to very strong. However, there was a plot twist at the end which was absolutely amateur, with no foreshadowing, hints, or consistency with the entirety of the rest of the movie. Spoiler rules dictate I not name the offending thing. Okay, apart from that, we have the obligatory ridicule of Christianity and Christians. Hey, THAT'S not a spoiler since it is worked into every movie possible, and a few where it has to be glued in (like the second Zoolander). But making Paul adhere to John 15:13 creates an interesting question: do these Hollywooders even KNOW where their source material comes from?

Road House (2024)

A kinder gentler road house

[8/10 · 23 March 2024]

Perhaps it is an indictment of what I have become or maybe just the fading of memory, but I remember the Patrick Swayze movie as being excessive and sophomoric, and the Jake movie seems curiously well balanced. Of course the big shock of the Schwaz movie was that polite and reserved girls liked it at all, let alone the fawning that it got. Obviously HE was the big draw, and if he had been hellraiser himself, the girls would have liked it. So.. is it possible that Jake's movie IS less violent?

I think it is the constant banter of jokes and the fact that ALL of the villains are intentionally funny that makes the whole crazy thing somehow mild. Anyway, I loved it, and the pacing is perfect. The negative reviews add to my enjoyment. They all raise perfectly good criticisms but seem to entirely miss the point of the movie.

Mr. Monk's Last Case: A Monk Movie (2023)

on the other other hand

[8/10 · 14 January 2024]

My initial reaction to this movie was that it had a clever opening, a weak second act, and an emotionally powerful ending which lacked the intellectual punch we expect from Monk. It was a tear jerker crime story, which is odd if not unique. Then...on further thought, and after reading reviews by smarter folks than me, I realized that the incurable disease of sequel milking was thriving right before my eyes, complete with the same disrespect for continuity which has crashed at least half a dozen powerful franchises in the last couple of decades. Still, seeing the original Nurse-lady (who also reminds me of my wonderful late Aunt in many ways), and not having to listen to Randy Newman's obnoxious theme, made this entire experience quite pleasant.

JFK: What the Doctors Saw (2023)

The Betrayal that started it all

[9/10 · 3 January 2024]

I was 8 years old when JFK was killed so it would be ludicrous to pretend that I always suspected the treason. However, within just a few years I knew that that Warren Commission was pure nonsense. A few years after that I became versed in the why and how of assassinations (for instance, always kill the assassin). Over the years I have read or watched at least 4 exhaustive investigations. Strangely, US News & World Report, a respected conservative magazine, published a childishly amateur support of the Warren Report in the mid 90's, after it had already been discredited from both public and private sources. So I have been, for decades, aware of everything in this special: lies, fabrication, suppression, coverup, legal violations, planted evidence, Media cooperation, the entire inside job uniparty treason - except one thing - the accusation that the Russians did it. Wow....it seems like the News never actually changes. But there is a more important issue - whether you have absolute corroboration, like the Gulf of Tonkin fraud, or merely overwhelming evidence, like 9/11 stuff, the American people will never trust their government or media on any major issue again.

The Pelican Brief (1993)

Strangely Prescient with weird errors

[7/10 · 5 November 2023]

Never a big fan of Grisham's accuracy, I was still irritated that he thinks the FBI is in charge of SCOTUS security and that this silly and unnecessary lie is repeated multiple times. But generally the movie is wonderfully written and flawlessly performed. I am not sure Denzel has EVER made a bad movie, and Roberts has her own magic. I was amused that three of the government villains are played by those guys with traitor-liar faces (Goldwynn, Atherton, Heald) who usually play slimeball roles. But where the movie really hits home is the killing of various crusaders, witnesses, and inconvenient folk. Inexplicable arkancides, muggings, etc were far from over in 1993, when the movie was made. But perhaps more importantly, the utter corruption that we see in modern day DOJ agencies was hanging around 30 years ago. Still, I doubt that Grisham would ever write a novel where the FBI identified concerned parents as terrorists.

Anna (II) (2019)

The best Nikita yet

[9/10 · 31 October 2023]

One of the ongoing burdens of a genre, any genre, is that copies, sequels, and assorted imitations are expected to do everything the predecessor(s) did, and then to make improvements. Of course, strict adherence to this concept would produce virtually identical movies - but sloppy adherence has produced nearly identical movies, for which there is an abundance of evidence. Enter Anna - using two primary tropes, 1. The Nikita syndrome and 2. The wobbling time step - where you go 3 years ago, 12 months ago, etc and then bounce back to the present, sometimes with a huge twist in the middle.

Anna performs flawlessly, with extreme attention to wonderfully violent fight scenes and nicely acted interludes of lust, depression, anger etc. Of course, Helen Mirren is beyond perfection in her own little hobbit-like character, dragging on cigarettes behind a wall of absolute stoicism.

All in all, a masterpiece, which reeks of originality by the very fact that no part of it is original.

Appaloosa (2008)

almost captures the old westerns

[7/10 · 30 October 2023]

With a truly stellar cast, a nice soundtrack, great production values, and perfect acting, what else could you want? There is something missing. Is Viggo too noble? Is Renee too predictably wayward? Is Ed too naive? I think maybe it is the pacing. Stuff happens at a steady walk. There aren't any gallops, or even fast trots. But there is a secondary issue. The plot is absolutely bereft of surprises. Part of the charm of the old westerns was that we saw various plots play out for the first time. So Westerns which come after the old ones can either borrow, steal, or improvise new plots. Despite the fact that I adore most of the cast and have my own private hostility towards Renee (which is deliciously justified by her character in this movie) I find myself feeling subtly disappointed. Oh, well, subtly disappointed is not really even a bad thing.

The Professionals (1966)

unexpectedly bad

[5/10 · 21 October 2023]

Yeah, I get it. Famous actors. Famous writer/director. But 47 minutes in, I find myself struggling to explain plot line after plot line. The Mexican bad guys in the first two slaughters are like comedy teams of ineptitude. The second group of three are both gullible and dull. Then a revolver in the scene turns into a 45. Then a very interesting and rather long sequence of stringing long amounts of dynamite wire is demolished by a speech in which we are told that a couple feet of fuse are all that need to be lit. With a match. WTF? But the next scene of unbearable contradiction involved the Colorado's, a group of apparent Mexicans who killed a bunch of townspeople. This story leaves us wondering who the government force was, who the rebels were, whether the rebels were in fact total cowards, whether the government was in fact American. Since Jack Palance's guys kill the Colorado's, and since the Colorado's are bad, this appears to make Palance, aka Jesus, a good guy. And yes, each of these crazy writing gaffes made me rewind and review (something not available in 1966 to the consumer), so I am positive they are just tragically bad editing or writing. I am debating at this point whether to fast forward to where the inevitable wife left husband she was not kidnapped point comes in for a landing. But the best use of this movie is the basis for a mystery science 3000 episode.

Great British Ships (2018– )

Maybe the best historical documentary in history

[10/10 · 8 October 2023]

As a long time student of history in general, and British naval vessels from the age of sail specifically, I am usually disappointed with the accuracy and thoroughness of movies, documentaries and even TV series. I remember the History Channel used to make valiant effort, and its demise into mere episodes of modern fisherman and truckers was literally preceded by a descent into amateurs and hacks, which must have been evidence of some gigantic political agenda in which budgets were slashed. There were a few bright spots over the years, like Monte Markham's series, but people like Michael Hirst sold us out with apparent enthusiasm. So...this series not only reviews the best stuff I have ever seen or read, it explores alternative theories, and is simply bursting with professionalism. And yes, I learn a lot of new stuff with every episode. It's enough to reduce my ego. Which is a good thing.

Lucy (I) (2014)

isn't it ironic?

[8/10 · 25 September 2023]

As a long time fan of ScarJo's unique beauty and acting, I have been angered and outraged at the length of time it took for her to get the BW solo movie, and then more outraged at how badly they messed it up. In the middle of all of this, I had zero awareness of Lucy, which says to me that Hollywood did no marketing at all, which is, admit it, another outrage. As we currently sit and watch Hollywood devour itself, I can't help but rejoice, even though I generally disagree with ScarJo's politics...or whatever she has been assigned to say. Okay. Oh, yeah, the movie. Full of so many missed opportunities in the science that it seems reminiscent of ScarJo's actual career, and full of so many ludicrous fabrications of pseudo science that a person wonders if the writers were taking the blue powder (which is not a powder at all, but rather chunky particles), every part of the movie seems like it is a parody of the real world of ScarJo, including time running out. But I need to give a nod to the special effects which are very nice. In general, the movie told a story, and stuck to it rather well. The acting is solid. A movie to recommend, but don't provide any detail when you recommend it.

Are You Here (2013)

A redemption movie that loses its way

[5/10 · 17 August 2023]

From the start of the movie, I was full of bewilderment and irritation that the rotten tomatoes scores were so low. As I watched it, a couple of things occurred - further irritation that the movie felt compelled to take some pretty offensive pot shots at Christianity, and further bewilderment that the plot and dialog would skim along cleverly for minutes at a time and then just completely collapse, as if 3 pages of script were left on the copier floor. Then it would pick up again. Then collapse. Whether this is bad writing or awful editing is irrelevant. At the end of the day, a number of talented actors wasted their time. I suppose, at one level, the movie made no sense in one of its primary plot anchors - that a person could challenge a Will based on the competency of the beneficiary. Not the deceased, but the beneficiary. I also think there was some kind of attempt at deep meaning about what true co-dependency is. I think the whole movie suffered from its own characters' faults - the writing was done with way too much in the way of drugs.

One Tree Hill (2003–2012)

Like watching an oscillating fan on the slowest setting

[7/10 · 10 August 2023]

The entire set up of the show is basically preposterous. The acting is consistently substandard, and the plot is a maddening compost heap of mostly one technique - something happens which should be communicated amongst most of the characters, but it is kept secret from the people who have a right to know because of the pride of the victim or the duplicity of the perpetrator. There is also the tiniest bit of suspense as to whether the perpetrators are perfectly evil or whether their foils are perfectly gullible. So how did this idiocy last 10 seasons? By carefully alternating the writing between absolute chick flick and nearly tolerable man-story. Just when you are ready to turn the channel or otherwise stop watching, the dynamic flips and you stay for another fifteen minutes. This reminds me of Sons of Anarchy. Now, lest anyone think that the chick-flick man-story oscillation is a good thing, I believe that truly skilled writing appeals to all sides all the time, with perhaps leaning a little in any given segment. That is not to stay that various cop / crime / spy / military shows are unskilled, but most chick-flick series and movies are nearly unwatchable for the average male. Unless he is posturing to curry favor.

The Menu (2022)

An entirely old take on an old theme

[7/10 · 9 August 2023]

One of the more bizarre aspects of Hollywood's recent demise is that it was avoidable. But this movie points out two additional aspects which are fascinating in the extreme. The first is that Hollywood has long been capable of self deprecation, directly, or through its various surrogates, ie, the Press, the fashion police, or the insufferable nouveau riche, even if they are not technically nouveau. This idea was responsible for entire TV series back in the day, movies, and skits on variety shows. So The Menu was hardly a new or original concept. It just hasn't been utilized for a while. But the second concept is much deeper. These vacuous humans, famous for loathing all underlings, actually loathe themselves, even perhaps, to a greater degree.

Coastal Elites (2020 TV Movie)

I don't think that means what you think it means

[3/10 · 8 August 2023]

So...there I was, minding my own business, when the Max comedy section offers me this movie, self described as socially distanced satire. Being a gullible deplorable, as it were, I thought, what the heck, give these insufferable narcissists one more chance. Probably you can guess at the rest. It ain't comedy, it ain't satire, and it certainly is not entertainment. It is an extended rant from a has-been public personality, captured on hot mic because no one in their right mind would let an actual interview like this go on for more than 180 seconds. But I have to hand it to the Midler - getting people to pay you for simply rambling and also having the rambling be utterly predictable is like a miracle, where chaos theory and a random numbers table create a perfectly straight line.

Spy (2015)

A masterpiece

[10/10 · 12 June 2023]

Within the five to ten film-story-types (I hate to say genre), most people do not realize that the spy-thriller is the most difficult in which to be original or creative. Without going into a lot of detail, suffice it to say that most of the Bond films were quite awful, regardless of the gadgets, eye candy, and manly men. The Bourne series, by contrast, was full of surprises, but, in the end, just created a sub-group of BOURNED spies (get it?). There have been spoofs, and cross breeds with cop and robber, and even sci fi. But I am unaware of a funny spy show that was not a spoof. Of course, this particular movie was able to use a number of famous actors who have actually played spies in other movies... and 50 ct, which imparted a legitimacy which may not have been necessary, but which added to the hilarity. But I have to add another point - all of the spy, superhero, western, cop, and sci-fi with twiggy-girls taking down arnold-men are just ludicrous. When Melissa fights, there is an element of credibility the other movies just lack.

Gone Girl (2014)

Yes, I am that petty

[8/10 · 29 May 2023]

As a long time hater of poor Ben, who is really just another Hollywood moron who should never go on talk shows, I spent almost the entire movie reveling in his character's confusion, suffering, disorientation, etc., whether said results were due to his hypocrisy, stupidity, or immorality. Ben provides a much needed outlet for those of us who have a mean spirit, because there is literally no reason to be nice to him. He is white, rich, snobby, elitist, selfish, posturing, conniving, and generally an untalented blob who has successfully traded on his unearned good looks, all the while keeping us guessing as to exactly how stupid he really is, and how much his screen roles differ from his actual persona. Okay. Now the way that the general story is told, with plot twists that actually make sense without being completely predictable, a person ought to stand back and give some credit to the other actors, the director, writers, etc. And, eventually, I will. In the mean time, though, I just like being mean to Ben.

Land of the Pharaohs (1955)

Martin Scorsese says what?

[4/10 · 28 April 2023]

Watching the restoration or revival or resurrection or the arm breaking pat your own back Warner Bros thing on HBO. Oh, it's remastering. Weirdly, movies like this got a new paint job while Michener's "Hawaii" were allowed to rot in the cans, but that is politics for another day. Any way, the beginning of the HBO presentation is an extensive docu-botch by Martin Scorsese, which contains so many self-contradictions that it seems like a study in how to make a fool of yourself without outside help. But what stuck in my craw was the sideways shots at DeMille Biblical epics and the ludicrous claims that the LOTP movie broke with Judeo Christian traditions and had the Egyptian gods actually talk. In fact, that, too, was a Scorsese fabrication. It seems obvious to me that the Marty piece was either written by someone else, or based on memories of Marty as a 13 year old, who was justifiably overwhelmed by the bloom of Joan Collins against the decrepity of poor ole Jack Hawkins. Okay. All that aside, the movie needs to get some respect for the massive logistics involved. Otherwise, it is just dumb. As Marty accidentally revealed, the music doesn't fit. Certainly it does not recreate, honor, or celebrate the culture of ancient times, as he clumsily claimed. The obvious paper mache props were a set back. I could go on. Be thankful I don't.

Killshot (2008)

unbelievable writing by Hossein Amini

[3/10 · 11 April 2023]

It is a fact that the literal definition of a word is often overshadowed or even replaced by its connotation. Thus, unbelievable does not necessarily mean having high quality. The same kind of anomaly exists with words like unusual, singular, memorable, etc, and there are countless sketches in which some moron is being insulted and thinks he is being praised. So why am I dwelling on this? Because the unbelievable aspect of Killshot's writing is just that, NOT believable, but it is hidden by iconic actors like Rourke, nice production values etc. "Bird" apparently is like a wind up toy, and has to kill all witnesses. Witnesses to what, you ask? Witnesses to crimes, potential crimes, incomplete crimes. Even witnesses to witnesses, who did not, themselves, witness a crime. If he were merely this insane, the movie would be like many uncreative movies. But some people he doesn't kill. Why? More importantly, do I care? So, here is my theory, Hollywood got a hold of this book, apparently written by a highly respected author, and then just pummeled it into absolute nonsense, ending the orgy of book destruction by deciding to not even go to theaters. But there is one final wrinkle to ponder - in the Amazon synopsis, Mickey is not even listed as a actor. I want to think that Mickey made this happen on purpose. So, in this black hole of crushing silliness, I found out that the screenwriter (ie, the guy who adapted the book someone else wrote) also did a completely bizarre movie (which he DID write) called two faces of january, filled with MORE top actors and so convoluted and boring that I had to stop watching after an hour. Which, unsurprisingly, is exactly the mark at which I stopped watching killshot.

Baby Mama (2008)

Fun but not really funny

[6/10 · 10 April 2023]

Every recombinant DNA group runs the risk of being monstrous or nonfunctional but we cannot accuse this show of failing so grandly. Still, the possibilities of Poehler and Fey were way underdeveloped. Usually their complex styles are perfectly complementary, but most of the movie attempts to cookie cutter each into a simplistic mold. Generally, the writing is poor, with even the most outrageous plot twists becoming easily predictable, to the point where you are waiting for it to happen instead of being surprised when it does. The two most interesting characters were the wise doorman and the insane ex common law husband of the surrogate. So, we are left with a question: when is "good-enough" actually a failure?

The Cooler (2003)

An interesting amalgam

[8/10 · 10 April 2023]

Whether or not a cooler is a thing (internet searches yield interesting results), the movie utilizes stellar casting and nice directing to tell an interesting story. Generally speaking, the Cooler and his squeeze display an amazing depth, drawn on complex and largely believable character-types. Virtually every other person in the entire movie is more like a cartoon, with predictable actions and reactions, and no depth. The plot itself is fairly predictable, which makes the twists even more fun. So, we get Oceans, Sopranos, Leaving Las Vegas, and perhaps an endless array of films noir, or just the Hollywood ideal that no matter how wrinkled and hopeless a guy gets, there is a sweet young thing just waiting for him.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013–2021)

Requiem for a dream sitcom

[7/10 · 6 April 2023]

If a person watched the first 5 seasons and stopped, that person might give a 10 rather easily. Indeed, the cast and crew successfully created the cop-show equivalent of 30 Rock, with a nod towards Park and Rec. Subtle lessons about racism and sexism, with gentle jabs at Presidents, complete the similarities, along with generous helpings of SatNiteLive/30Rock guest stars. Fat nerds, melodrama, complex romances, semi-insane heroes, and pratfalls hark back to vaudeville. But, of course, the politics finally snuck in, and snarky smarmy elitist jokes started polluting. But, truthfully, I would not have bothered to write this review if it weren't for the periodic attacks on police tactics which actually have cleaned up New York. Today, New York's public safety is in free fall, and minorities and punished daily most of all. Thank you, Hollywood, for preaching to us. Next time, pick better sermons.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)

Weirdly fictional from writers I used to trust

[6/10 · 14 March 2023]

Take some of the most fundamentally important events in European history, employ the most prominent and capable actors from around the world, hire truly talented writers, and throw a decent budget at the whole thing. Oh, and do a little cross marketing with similar current products. What could go wrong? The short answer is: nothing. The longer answer is: you forgot that the movie was supposed to be based on fact. A cursory internet search on e:tga reveals so many bloopers, distortions, lies, and omissions that a person first wonders about the underlying agenda and then is forced to question whether Michael Hirst can be trusted on Tudors and Vikings. Perhaps the most grotesque item on the menu is the portrayal of Elizabeth as ultra tolerant of Catholics. But this has a secondary harm to Americans, who are no longer taught that the First Amendment would never have been conceived of in the absence of Henry 8 and his daughter's actions. We are fed bizarre interpretations of church and state separation by our legal profession, the news media, and, obviously, Hollywood. So, whatever high marks this movie might get for nice production, it loses for hysterical revisionism. Golly, sometimes my cleverness astounds me.

Reacher (2022– )

Pure entertainment

[10/10 · 4 February 2023]

Let's start with the worst part of the series (first season). Some of the punishment received by the Hero should have landed him in the hospital...and didn't. His recovery is sort of ludicrous. But that aspect of the story may simply be another proof that he is three times stronger, which is an oft repeated theme. As for the rest of it, every scene, conversation, fight, setting, plot development, and character is a virtual lesson in how to tell a story. There are events which turn into hilarious inside jokes, realistic evolution of relationships, and personalities which are believable. The violence is extreme and graphic, yes, but is not actually gratuitous. But I think the biggest appeal of the series is that the heroes have personalities which are immensely satisfying. In this time of constant fear of saying, doing, or thinking the wrong thing, our heroes take action. What a concept!!!!!!!!

Vengeance (II) (2022)

City mouse meets Country Mice

[9/10 · 31 January 2023]

There is a sweetness to seeing Hollywood make a movie based on a very old and very valuable theme - in 2022. Our culture, going back deep in our own history, knows that the urban elitist is a vacuous fraud, and never has anything of value to teach his country cousins. Indeed, he has much to learn from them, and nothing to offer in return. "Vengeance" actually exaggerates this theme to the point of melodrama, as the Texans are the New Yorker's equal on any artsy-fartsy subject imaginable, and his superior on life, love, and purpose. The writing in this movie demonstrates an extremely thorough understanding of what the Right thinks, and only pays lip service to what the Left thinks, whom it has already discredited as empty insect shells. In the end, the New Yorker becomes a Texan...and I can say this without it being an actual spoiler. There are a variety of aspects to this movie that make me think it dances with more levels, meaning, symbolism, and philosophy than one viewing reveals. From a story telling point of view, this may be one of the deepest movies ever made.

Bad Education (2019)

A gorgeous red herring

[8/10 · 11 January 2023]

This well-told human interest story casts the public sector as uniquely free of corruption, tightly controlled, and utterly accountable at all times. There is a further implication that school districts are isolated islands, so bad stuff would tend not to travel. So, we have a unique situation, and everyone can see it got caught and solved and we can go back to watching True Blood. The lead in to the show claims this is the largest embezzlement of its kind, which I absolutely doubt. So, here is the truth: under IDEAL conditions, the vast majority of governmental units operate on a spend it or lose it budget mentality. This drives up taxes eternally. In addition, sweetheart deals, which have reached outrageous levels at the federal level due to omnibus voting strategies (where pork is simply invisible) are certainly a form of gigantic embezzlement. Then you get congressperson after congressperson who enters office a near pauper and becomes a millionaire and then a multi-millionaire. There are actual embezzlement scandals within the IRS and USDA periodically. And none of this, none of this, is a quarter of a million dollars. We can only wish it was.