christopher_langer Reviews

The Barkley Marathons: The Race That Eats Its Young (2014)

A great 'quirky humanity' documentary.

[8/10 · 13 July 2018]

A fun, warm look at the weirdos and Weirdo In Chief orbiting the enigmatic Barkley Marathon. Well worth the watch, especially if you're looking for something that has nuance and psychology but is also not a hard watch.

Andre the Giant (2018 TV Movie)

Kayfabe Trash

[2/10 · 30 June 2018]

This was a documentary that kept up all the fictitious pretences of the WWE universe. Very disappointing.

Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984)

Film Of the Damned

[1/10 · 16 June 2018]

Watch anything before you watch this horrible film. Ken Russell's Lair Of the Whyte Wurm is probably the good version of this derivative genre film. Watch that instead.

I Kill Giants (2017)

You kill giants, not boredom.

[4/10 · 16 June 2018]

Off brand young adult film entertains if only in a vague, unsatisfying manner.

Prevenge (2016)

Postvengence

[3/10 · 19 June 2017]

This is a film that mistakes visuals for symbolism and never lives up to its potential. Secondary characters, already on shaky ground, become 2 dimensional foils for the main character's cynical, teenage-level comebacks and tirades on the disappointing nature of life. As a dark comedy it also lands surprisingly humorlessly, with jokes falling flatter than in the Garth Marenghi series where Alice Low cut her teeth. That seems to be a problem for movies that walk the line between satire and horror. Where satire demands a razor-sharp read on society using characters and narrative, horror generally is excused any shortcomings so long as the correct blend of gore and cynicism is achieved. And while this latter balance can reflect the brilliance of its creative team, in Prevenge's case is does not.

Eyes of Laura Mars (1978)

The Drizzling Shite

[1/10 · 13 May 2017]

This film was remarkable in its way - It's almost as if the team responsible threw a bunch of crap against the wall to see what stuck and, when none of it stuck and it all just landed on the floor they just filmed the big pile of crap. This movie makes me regret that I'm not already in a suicide pact. And apparently George Lucas saw it and thought 'that's the guy I want to direct the next Star Wars!'. Because obviously a guy who sold a space opera to a greedy mouse is a good judge of cinema. Dear lord, that was terrible. Dear, dear lord, kill me please. Thank you lord. 1/10.