perfectx-71415 Reviews

Visions of Filth (2021)

Unbelievably Bad!!

[1/10 · 12 May 2024]

I once read a review about Visions of Filth that after the first five minutes you should just turn it off and I gotta say they were absolutely right!

This movie is a complete waste of time! It's badly done on all levels. The acting, directing, story, sfx, script, it's all trash! The worse part about this is that you actually spend more time watching this guy masturbate than actually do anything violent.

The only good thing I can say about this movie is the main actor completely puts himself into his role. Mind you he's absolutely horrible, but atleast he tries. And there's some female nudity so there's that too. Besides that this movie seems like a 30 min short padded for time to get a full length hour out of almost nothing.

Dolls Are Meant to Be Trash (2023)

Lower Than Dirt!

[1/10 · 26 April 2024]

I just had the displeasure of watching the new Jack Mulvanerty film 'Dolls Are Meant To Be Trash". This movie unfortunately seems to be a tribute of sorts to Lucifer Valentine and/or Samhel and the rest of A Baroque House production nonsense as it's basically a carbon copy of all that garbage! Basically you take a hot alternative model and have her commit actual self harm, vomit, throw in a badly shot real sex scene, terrible sound and editing and viola! You got yourself a movie.

The real disappointment I have with this is that Mulvanerty has proven before that he actually has some talent unlike the other hacks I just mentioned. Now seeing him resort to this form of fetish porn and watch him do it this bad is pathetic and embarrassing. Atleast if you're gonna go down this road make something that put your contemporaries to shame. But this looks and feels like a bargain bin version of the crappy movies these guys are barely doing better.

Mulvanerty have some respect for yourself and your craft. Leave the garbage for the talentless hacks. Live up to your potential that you've shown that you have and make a real film.

Crisálida (La Semilla) (2023)

A Disgusting, Boring, Waste Of Time!

[1/10 · 22 April 2024]

What is there to really say about this film?! Directed and acted by Mikel Balerdi, the same guy who gave you such movies as 'The Girl With The Cutter', 'Golgota' and 'Larva Mental'. Now brings you probably his goofiest movie yet. Crisalida from my understanding is supposed to be a prequel to 'Larva Mental'. Just like Larva Mental the movie shows a lot of scenes of self harm and various unsimulated sexual debauchery. Most of the scenes go on for way too long! Mainly to draw out the runtime for a movie that realistically should have been at most a 30 minute short. Visually the movie comes off like a bad student art project. Editing is choppily seziure inducing and static filled. The soundtrack is also boring with the same music playing through most with random grunts and screams thrown in for unease. Most of the film is just some guy masturbating, having oral sex with an extremely fake looking corpse, penis mutilation, rolling around in feces, finger banging and then whipping some girl. Trust me none of this comes off extreme because of how fake it all looks. Besides ofcourse for the actual unsimulated sex scenes. But even then the movie fails to do anything more then just show anything either sexually arousing or disgusting. Seems again just shot to pad out the runtime.

Look at little more than a hour this movie is an absolute chore to watch. If you liked Mikel Balerdi other films maybe you might dig this. Personally I believe this might be his most unwatchable movie yet!!

Sikkfukks (2016)

Weird Artsy Nonsense

[2/10 · 18 April 2024]

I just wanna say this right off the bat, Sikkfukks is one bizarre movie! It's like your watching fever dream with all the random hallucinations that happen in it.

To be honest I couldn't figure out a damn thing going on in this movie between the subtitles leaving the screen faster than the dialogue and the characters rambling about absolutely nothing which in turn led me to not care about the story in general. If it wasn't for the scenes that were a bit trippy this would be completely pointless.

Even the trippy scenes are not enough to redeem this movie. From the acting, script, editing and sfx it's just Bad!

The Lady in the Sea of Blood (1997)

30 Mins Of Nothing

[1/10 · 18 April 2024]

Lady In A Sea Of Blood is one of the most exaggerated titles ever! A sea is definitely not what you get here. It's more of a naked girl in a shower taking blood out of a bucket a pouring it all over herself for a little less than 30 minutes. Yup that's right folks. Just a naked girl showering with a bunch of fake blood naked. And this being a Japanese movie they make sure to digitally blur out her vagina only making this worse.

Does any of what I just said sound interesting? Im sure if you have a functioning brain than im sure this sounds like a waste of time and Trust me it is. This is an absolute borefest that's completely unwatchable!

Shock 2000: Snuff Perversions Part II (2000 Video)

Downright Awful!!

[2/10 · 18 April 2024]

Shock 2000 Aka Snuff Perversions 2 has to be one of the longest, most boring movies I've ever seen!! And trust me I've seen plenty of them so I should know. At about two hours this movie is grueling watch. And no not grueling because of the violence, but because of the excessively long scenes.

This movie is basically just random stories of fake snuff scenes. One after the other is pretty repetitive. They mostly all get killed the same way by strangulation. And nudity usually follows.

First I just wanna say how badly the audio is. From scene to another the audio levels are dramatically different. Keep your hand on the remote or you're gonna upset some neighbors.

Besides that the only good thing I got to say is there a lot of hot girls naked and that's why I gave this a 2 and it really doesn't even deserve that. This is terrible on all levels.

Mondo Shock (2016)

Mondo Meets Mixtape

[3/10 · 17 April 2024]

With a name like Mondo Shock you would think that this movie would replicate some of the old Mondo films but this comes off like more of a supernatural mix tape with moments of shock videos like face of death. Very little this is actually real. It's mostly a bunch of staged clips that barely keep your interest. There's also some real clips thrown In to keep you guessing what fake and what's real. But the real footage is minimal.

Now these shorts do have there moments. Some of them could be a bit creepy. But most are badly shot and look extremely fake. Unfortunately it makes this almost unwatchable.

Post-Mortem (2010)

Don't Believe A Word Your Reading From These Other Reviews

[1/10 · 17 April 2024]

This is the definition of Garbage! Absolutely the most boring, badly shot, over long, horribly written, miserably acted, crappy edited, amatuar hour piece of nonsense you could ever imagine!!! Don't waste your life watching this. Absolutely nothing happens here. Just a lot of implied nonsense with some joke of an actor mean mugging throughout his own movie. This is like the August Underground movies except with nothing extreme happening and even worse acting. Anthony Spadaccini may just be the worst director of all time! Definitely no one who watched this is giving 10stars. Fake family, friends, cast reviews. Terrible!

Creeps: A Tale of Murder and Mayhem (2013)

Goofy Low Budget Fun

[7/10 · 17 April 2024]

Creeps is a early Jack Mulvanerty movie that from the looks of it he must have done in his teens since it looks to be a student project of sorts, or atleast a project he did with his friends.

This movie generally nonsensical. It's just a random goofy slasher done more to see blood and have a laugh. Everything is done with a bit of style that's impressive for a kid show. The editing is well done. The acting is amusingly amateurish. The SFX are bad but it adds to the charm of the production. The only real complaint I have against this movie is the audio is all over the place. Either way it doesn't detract from the film.

Overall I gotta say this film is quite fun! I would have loved to be able to make a film like this when I was a teen. Slasher fans and no budget horror fans should check this one out.

Park Street Diary (2021)

Miserable Garbage!!

[1/10 · 17 April 2024]

Park City Diary is basically a miserable August Underground clone! Nothing about this is well done or shocking. All this does is just swings and misses at everything that other movies have done a lot better.

The story is non existent. The SFX are poorly done and violence shown looks extremely fake. There's mostly no audio except some muffled voices. Besides that it's a silent film, which only makes this feel more unbearable. The scenes go way too long and make what should have been a 20 min short into longest hour I've ever seen on film!

The only good thing I have to say is the chick gets naked and the movie eventually ends. Besides that what a miserable experience!

The Fetish Princess (2007 Video)

This Is The Meaning Of Real Torture!!

[1/10 · 17 April 2024]

Fetish Princess is a movie so unwatchable and boring I'm surprised that someone actually put some money and time into making it. Mind you the money is obviously almost non existent. But the time alone would be spent doing better things than making this borefest.

Mostly nothing really happens in this. Some chicks getting whipped and some really bad shot violence that barely shows the crappy SFX on display. Mostly just a film to poorly shoot hot strippers getting naked which is obviously where all the money went to(not that I'm complaining about it).

This whole movie is over long and feels like short that's been stretched out. Lousy and lazy production all around.

Torture Fetish (2015)

It's Torture Alright

[1/10 · 16 April 2024]

So what is there to say about this short? To be honest barely nothing. This short basically has two guys who seem to be judging by their accents, foreigners yet still speaking English to each other while they violently attack a couple and some random guy for a little less than 30 mins.

That's basically the whole short. No real story just a few random attacks that would be a lot more messed up if it actually looked good. Unfortunately most of the effects are bargain bin level cheap. Really losing all the grisly effect this was going for

After the credits there's a little fun behind the scenes and it's over. Don't waste your time with this unless you need to see every short out there.

Let's Stop at the Morgue (2021)

Not Your Typical Samhel Movie

[2/10 · 16 April 2024]

Just like the headline says this is not your typical Samhel movie. If you're not familiar with Samhel or any A Baroque House production, they are basically just minor league versions of Lucifer Valentine movies. And if you don't know what a Lucifer Valentine movie is then let me tell you it's basically movies that have some hot alternative model that usually drugged out that's naked, puking, self mutilating and/or getting violently attacked with loud death and grindcore music playing over static video images. But like I said it feels like a more minor league version than his movies. So way more boring and badly filmed.

But like I said this movie isn't the typical Samhel/Valentine clone garbage! Now this is an original horror joint that tries to have some form of a story. I give it to him for trying but this is really not good. More boring than his other movies because the story is weak and there's barely any nudity which is the only good things about his movies. Trust me it's trash! I gave home a star for trying something new but it really doesn't even deserve that.

Man Dog Man (2017)

Weird, Dark and Fun!

[7/10 · 8 April 2024]

Man Dog Man is a short about two men that have a relationship where one of the men role plays being an actual dog. It's alluded to that the man lost his dog earlier on, and afterwards that's when he started this relationship with the man/dog. The movie shows you the dynamics in their relationship.

I don't wanna go too deep into the story because I would honestly spoil the film since it's a rather short movie at a little less than 12 mins. Even with the short length it happens to tell a fun little story that drenches with weirdness. And it feels a little similar to 'Cat Sick Blues' to me. Don't ask me why but it just reminded me of it.

If you like strange shorts I think you should give this one a spin.

Monstrosity (2014)

Crapstrosity!

[2/10 · 4 March 2024]

'Monstrosity' or as I prefer to call it 'Crapstrosity', just like Kasper Juhl's other film 'Sunken Danish' are just a destitute man's 'August Underground'. So shamefully ripping off a much better movies without any real quality due to the lack of budget, originality and overall lack of talent! This movie screams of film school edgelord! Just a try hard effort that fails at really disturbing or impressing. Overall just a waste of time and braincells.

Trust me you're better off sticking with the original movies this is coping like the August Underground films instead of trying this embarrassing imitation.

Kakerlak (2021)

A Dark Depressing Watch

[6/10 · 17 February 2024]

'Kakerlak' is a movie about a man who just lost his father. Afterwards he starts losing his mind as he becomes an unstable, emotional wreck with violent streak who takes out a lot of his anger on his girlfriend, sister and a random guy at a club. He also keeps seeming imaginary cockroaches in various places.

This movie as I said in the headline is a dark depressing film. There's a lot of psychical abuse that's done to his girlfriend in this movie. It's definitely not a fun watch. And fast decent that the lead actor takes into his madness really gets dark towards the end.

Actor Frederik Carlsen really knocks it out of the park here. He comes off quite scary! It's a shame that this is a short because it really felt like it was building to something really good. Unfortunately it ends quite abruptly in the most bizarre way possible, Which I did enjoy.

Overall feels a little bit of a missed opportunity.

The Deer House (2022)

No Budget, Found Footage Gem!

[7/10 · 17 February 2024]

After 'Dare Divas' I was more than a little curious to see what the next movie Kasper Juhl had up his sleeve, and boy can I say I was more than pleased with this one. Especially impressed that this just may be Juhl's actual first foray into traditional horror.

Just like 'Dare Divas' this goes for the no budget found footage style. And man is this effective in creating a real dark mood throughout. The film at times almost feels like 'The Strangers' with no mask assailants. It's a home invasion movie with elements of Juhl's perverse style thrown in.

And I gotta say Mie Gren is incredible as usual! She definitely Juhl's muse as she's excellent even in his trashiest of movies, but when the movie is as good as this she really shines!

Now there's some moments that I thought lacked logic like, why did they let that random guy in? Why would they not call the cops with their cell phones? And why would they walk into the room with a flash light on when their hearing screams from that room that the home invaders might be in? All these lapse of logic can be forgiven for the most part since the movie is pretty good besides that. And for the runtime it never overstays its welcome.

Dare Divas (2017)

Kasper Juhl's Best Movie Yet!

[8/10 · 17 February 2024]

Now Kasper Juhl has been a director that I've had mixed feelings about. His earlier films were complete garbage! Mind you even as bad as they were they showed signs of some talent hidden underneath the sewage. I'm glad to say half way into his career he's made some solid, viscerally dark movies. And this may just be his best!

The movie starts out with two girls filming themselves hitchhiking to Amsterdam. They get picked up by a guy that seems to be handsome and good natured yet slightly off. Then he picks up his weirdo brother then things start going south quick.

This movie was obviously done on the cheap, ala found footage style like his first two features 'Sunken Danish' and 'Monstrosity'. Unlike those movies this was very good! Not just some cheap 'August Underground' rip off from a guy trying to be edgy. This movie slowly builds the tension that is building inside of the car between the characters. Most of the tension is done very subtly until the eventual blow up.

And may I add the length of the movie is absolutely perfect! Shorts often times feel too short or too long , but this honestly feels just right.

Unlike most of Juhl's films there's nothing too graphic considering his past films but it's still pretty bleak. And the found footage style is done perfectly! Honestly one of the best found footage movies I've seen! Juhl has finally made a fan of me.

Tap Slissemand (2022)

Different But Decent

[7/10 · 13 February 2024]

Tap Slissemand is a short that is dramatically different from Kasper Juhl's other films I've seen. The story starts with a women trying to have sexual moment with her boyfriend. Unfortunately the man seems to not be able to get aroused. Afterwards you see the same couple at a table talking to a beautiful blonde friend. The women is talking her friend into having sex with her boyfriend to see if it could fix his erectile disfunction problem. Now as this movie is only ten minutes of I say anymore it would spoil the whole movie. All I have to say it's a simple short that is dark in its own way. But a far departure of the grim style Juhl is known for. Definitely good and short enough to watch once.

Rotten Flowers (2022)

Good But Slightly Flawed

[6/10 · 13 February 2024]

Kasper Juhl is a director that I've had mixed feelings about. Most of his movies I think are absolutely terrible! But his movies 'A God Without A Universe' and especially 'Moonfire' show that their might be more going on with this director then I initially believed. And this movie I can safely say fits firmly between those two films.

The story is an interesting one as it focuses on two sisters. One sister with a long history of being abused who wants to get revenge on her sister for not suffering as she did throughout her life. So her revenge she decides that she's setting her up to get violently sexually assaulted from her male friends.

Now the plot sounds simple enough but there's minor subplots that kinda confuse the narrative. Like one involving a hooker that seems to be completely irrelevant to the story. And the eluding to past events instead of actually making it clear what happened in the past hurts the movie in my opinion. It doesn't let you sympathize with the either sister because your not quite sure what happened even if you get the gist for the most part. Plus there's one scene where the other sister Rose, whose usually quite a nature loving women inexplicably starts attacking a tree with an axe. It seems like if they're eluding that she might be mentally suffering as well, but again her backstory is so vague that it just feels like it comes from absolutely nowhere

I don't know, there just seems to be some narrative flaws in this movie. But mostly it's beautifully shot. And the film has a real dread induced feel throughout while showing you very little in reality. It's a well made movie for the most part even with some of its flaws.

Lullaby Story (2021)

Artsy Nonsense!

[1/10 · 12 February 2024]

David Stojan May just be the most useless director of all time! This movie just like 'Vampire Nymphets' are borderline unwatchable. Neither one tell an engaging story. They're both just moody art pieces with shots that go on for way too long. And while some of the shots are admittingly cool looking. It's nothing more that aesthetic in a random collage of dolls with blood all over them, dead animal heads and inscets to draw out what should be no more than a 15-20 min short and make an hour long borefest with no real story. Atleast in this movie there's some nudity, but that's the only consolation prize for this miserable film.

David Stojan should probably stick to editing and composing shots because that seems to be the only talent he has. As for directing films he might just be one of the worse directors today!

Vampire Nymphets (2021)

Abysmal!!

[1/10 · 12 February 2024]

Absolutely abysmal Vampire film where almost nothing happens. This movie is mostly a silent art piece. More of a collection of shots put with a very loose story. Mostly nothing and, I stress nothing happens. Just a lot of vampires mean mugging in the camera showing their fangs. Every once in a blue some spoken words are said on screen. It adds nothing to the over all story. It's all quite boring actually. The movie would have atleast benefited from some nudity. Unfortunately there's non on display here making this more unwatchable.

I wish there's more I could say about this film but there's really nothing that happens in it. Even at an hour long it's a completely too long and boring to suffer through. Do yourself a favor and avoid this turd!

Golgota (2020)

Disgusting!

[4/10 · 8 February 2024]

Director Mikel Balerdi 2nd film in his short double feature after 'The Girl With The Cutter' is 'Golgota'. This movie unlike the previous film has no real narrative. The movie is just shock horror! The first half is just a girl pleasuring herself then eventually giving oral sex to man. All of this mind you is shown unsimulated. Then the girl moves to a shower where she begins to poop, then she rolls around in her own filth. After that she sees her vagina shut. And that's basically it.

The best thing I can say about this short is that it's shot quite well. The sfx look convincing and it's all quite gross. But now for the bad part is the lack of narrative makes this almost unwatchable. And the runtime at little more than 25 mins still feels way too long. Either way not terrible!

The Girl with the Cutter (2020)

Art Horror

[7/10 · 8 February 2024]

This is Director Mikel Balerdi, who is most known for in the underground extreme horror movie 'Larva Mental'. While I absolutely hated that movie! I was surprised to actually enjoy this one. The movie starts off with girl receiving a text message that ends up distressing her so much that she ends up getting haunted by visions. These visions eventually lead to her doing as the title suggests, as she begins cutting herself with a box cutter. While the films main purpose is to obviously show ultra violence, it also seems to have a pretty sad story interweaved of unhappy girl hurting herself. Mind you the film could have been a drop shorter. But for the most part it's a well done, artistic, yet slightly over long story of despair and violence.

Frog Pimp (2023)

Atleast It's Entertaining

[6/10 · 29 January 2024]

Frog Pimp is a short Comedy that runs a little past 15 mins that's entertaining enough and passably funny to watch without ever feeling like chore. I've noticed most films of this ilk with noticeably no budget and almost zero story end up feeling try hard, unfunny and over all unwatchable. This one tends to feel like a small segment on a sketch comedy show with a little bit of nudity thrown in. The main cast seem to be having fun with their roles, especially the Frog Pimp himself.

If there's one negative i can say that as amusing as it is it's also not that funny that I can see myself spending $15 for 15 mins of footage. They should have atleast put this on a compilation disc or put it out for free because I don't see much people paying to own an amusing short that's way too short.