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Reviews
Britain's Greatest Ghost Stories (2023)
I'm... 95% sure this is satire?
I'm wondering if the low average rating is because there's some ambiguity around what genre this is actually supposed to fall into.
There's very little to go on from plot synopses or descriptions anywhere; and when you start watching, it looks like your run-of-the-mill paranormal investigation schtick, with some bad reenacting thrown in. (Ghost hunter shows are not my usual cup of tea, but I put it on at random because I was trying to see if I'd fixed a glitch that was preventing me from streaming videos.)
I was soon asking myself if this was actually a mockumentary, and I think it must be. The investigators are just slightly over-the-top, and the re-enactments are just ridiculous enough that it seems bad on purpose.
In light of this, I'd say it's a fun watch and a decent example of the genre--but maybe it's juuuuust subtle enough that many watchers are taking it at face value, and rating it 1 star thinking it's a bad example of an earnest paranormal investigation show. I guess it hasn't had much exposure, so there are no reviews out there or other context to tell people different.
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (2002)
very disappointing
I gave this movie 3 stars because I appreciate the portrayal of sassy old ladies who drink and curse and smoke; if not for that I would have given it a 1 or 2.
I read the book last summer while I was in Louisiana, adored it, and read the two others in the series. I know that movies generally don't do justice to the books they're based on. I heard unenthusiastic reviews. I still rented this movie with the expectation--even determination--to enjoy it. Then I discovered Sandra Bullock was in it. Puke. Her southern accent is a travesty. I want to rant on a bit about how disgusting it is that her performance was allowed to taint the Ya-ya name but it's probably not her fault. Her persona is just completely wrong for this story. Whoever cast her should be taken behind the barn and shot. Ditto for the director.
Like I said, I really, really wanted to like this movie in spite of potential supposed mediocrities... But it really, undeniably sucked.
I BEG anyone who has seen or is considering seeing this movie to just go out and read the book instead. If you judge the thing based on the cinematic adaptation it will appear to be pure drivel, and you will have missed quite a bit of important and beautiful stuff from the writing.
Marie Antoinette (2006)
I died a little inside
I have a pretty high tolerance for stupid movies. I can see when a movie's going to be completely devoid of meaning or intelligence, shrug, and decide to just go along with it and have fun--never mind the stupidity, ignorance is bliss after all.
This one looked very obviously stupid, but like maybe it would have some redeeming amusing frivolities or hijinks or SOMETHING to make it fun. No. I kept waiting, thinking that surely, it would pick up and stop sucking any minute now. No. It was pretty discouraging.
There is no plot. What's-her-face (now my most hated actress... I don't generally care one way or another about actors but having seen this I just really really hate her now and have no doubt that she has ruined every film she's ever acted in) acts like a moron, tries on shoes, drinks champagne and giggles at her advisers. Her husband won't sleep with her for a while. She shrugs and giggles some more and eats pastries. Then for some reason he finally sleeps with her, they have babies, and after some more giggling and swooning she rides off tragically into the sunset or something as the French populace thirsts for her blood. I think maybe one of her kids died but I was half-asleep and really didn't care. That's really it, there's NO PLOT, NO DIALOGUE, NOTHING BUT WHAT'S HER FACE GIGGLING AND SIGHING AND BEING STUPID. I really want those two hours of my life back.