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The Invention of Lying (2009)
I Said Something... That Others... Can't.
I know that most people tend to just think the movie is okay, but I actually have kind of fallen in love with this movie. I know I think of this differently, and I'm hoping that this can bring new perspective to those interested in seeing the film.
== THE STORY ==
As the title suggests, there's a world where no one is capable of lying in any way, shape or form, except for Mark (Ricky Gervais) just has a "twitch" in his head and discovered of "saying something that wasn't." Say what you will, I think the writing did an excellent job at showing the possibilities of both sides of the coin; being honest and telling the truth. One of my favorite things about this is that it shows both the pros *and* cons of being honest and dishonest and showing that neither side is perfect. Another thing that I love is that Mark doesn't usually lie solely to get his way (a few exceptions in the beginning when he's trying to learn the concepts he discovered); he'll do it to calm his mother down on her deathbed, prevent a co-worker from committing suicide, and bring more profits to his business.
== THE PERFORMANCES ==
Honestly, I think they're hilarious for the comedy. The astonishing amount of just how blunt they all are is absolutely profound in their acting. I think it's a ton of fun to watch.
== OVERALL ==
Again, I know that most people didn't tend to think the movie was as great as I did, and if you don't, even after reading this, that's fine. I'm just saying that I can't think that the movie was only "Meh." I thought it was a lot of fun with its writing, personality and overall snarkiness in the film. I do recommend that you, at the very least, watch the film. If you like it as much as I did, great! If not, that's perfectly fine.
Frozen II (2019)
Not Enough Chills
I actually really liked the first Frozen movie and I was excited to hear about their sequel, to be honest. Once I saw it though, I was a little let down.
== THE STORY ==
I'm kind of sad, since I really liked the ideas they had for the movie, characters and their world. I like the idea of the elemental spirits in this world of magic and the fantastical creatures there are. The biggest problem for me was just how predictable it was. In the introductory exposition in the beginning of the film, I was frustrated at just how much I predicted was going to happen in the movie. I knew the future outcomes for everyone: Elsa, the outsiders and the kingdom. (Trying to avoid spoilers)
Most of the characters have... devolved from the last film. Anna has suddenly turned into a super clingy, misunderstanding tool from the first film. Wherever Elsa goes, Anna goes. If Elsa doesn't comply, Anna pitches a fit. Kristoff has become the one-dimensional love support. There's this annoying running "joke" about how he'll just propose, no matter what. He'll even attempt to propose during this dangerous mission in the film. My saving grace is Elsa. She was content with returning back to her palace, but she couldn't help but feel something more. It's complex, engaging and well written... but only for Elsa... for the most part.
== THE PERFORMANCES ==
Of course, the performances are great for all the characters. Not the most compelling because of their characters, but certainly well played. The songs, on the other hand, are mostly fantastic. Elsa's songs, including "Into the Unknown" and "Show Yourself" are particularly the most moving. However, there's Olaf with his "When I'm Older", which is funny, but it does halt the story's momentum. There's Anna's "The Next Right Thing", which is nice, but not earned in the story. There's even an '80s rock ballad, "Lost in the Woods" sung by Kristoff! I swear this isn't spam, that's actually in this movie! The songs and the performances are great, but the story does little to reinforce them.
== THE EFFECTS ==
The CGI for the movie is incredible! The settings really are animated incredibly realistic with the wind, water, trees, stones, wood; it all looks great! My favorite effect is with the Water Spirit, a literal "sea horse" made of a mass of water with waterfalls for hair and it's beautiful to look at! It just has "Illumination Syndrome", where the animation is spectacular, but the story doesn't support it.
== OVERALL ==
Do I recommend it? Sort of... If you're looking for a faithful sequel to the film, I don't think you're going to get it, personally. With that said, it does have good stuff: the songs are great (especially with how jaw-droppingly odd the "Lost in the Woods" song is), the animation is gorgeous, the concepts are fascinating, they're just... predictable. I'd rather not watch it again, but it's not awful, just underwhelming.
Life (2017)
I Can't Believe I'm Saying This, But Life Sucks
I'm going to come out and say it; this movie is not just overrated, it's insultingly awful! The acting doesn't come across well, the story is poorly written, the characters are stupid, the effects are very bad for a 2017 movie, and I don't understand why people even REMOTELY enjoyed this one, because this was unbearable to me!
-- THE EFFECTS --
I'm sorry, but the effects were really bad. The movie came out in 2017 and it hurts to look at the alien, especially when it's clinging onto the people. Plus, the alien... looks really stupid. It honestly looks more like a plant from the Upside Down. I would've enjoyed it a bit more, but there's still more to go through.
-- THE CHARACTERS --
I hate, hate, HATE, the fact that there is almost no true character. Just having your characters talk to each other and look like they're having fun doesn't tell me what they're like. Even if that wasn't my problem, here's the biggest one: they're trained astronauts! All the decisions that they make are BEYOND unrealistic and questionable for someone of their intelligence! And for a group of people who have a threat, but they still have a high intelligence, how long do you think people would argue? Maybe, 10-15 seconds, tops? The movie makes them argue for seven minutes continuously all throughout the film! There is no true character development for anyone on the ship or elsewhere!
-- THE ACTING --
I love Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Ferguson and Jake Gyllenhaal. as much as the next guy, really! But everyone's acting is not the right mood. Sure, when they're having fun and hanging out, it's acted (mostly) well, but once the alien arrives, there's only mild shock when it's discovered. The looks on their faces are mostly blank and dull unless they're (sigh) afraid of the alien. You might not agree with me yet, but please hold on with me for a little bit longer.
-- THE STORY --
This is, by far, the WORST part of the movie! Here's a quick rundown: A group of astronauts are out to collect a life sample found from a satellite, but later on it grows defensive and offensive, so it tries to kill the scientists in order for it to sustain its own life. In the end, every character is killed off, one by one, until the end where a twist so poorly written, shot, and directed that even M. Night Shyamalan is shaking his head in disappointment: they accidentally got the alien onto Earth and it will wipe out civilization as we know it.
You know that frustrating opening scene in Alien where the main characters know that the scientist was infected by the xenomorph, but they let him in anyways allowing the movie to continue (I still love that movie with an utmost passion, because it was mostly smart except for that one scene)? Imagine that for two hours then the aliens are so dumb as to wipe out humanity!
Here's the biggest problem with the story: all throughout the movie, it goes absolutely nowhere until the end where the characters made stupid decisions and kill all of humanity. "Oh, no, the alien put him in shock!" "I'll go in and help him! Whoops, never mind, I'm dead." or "Oh, no, the alien is in the air vents!" "I'll go out and repair the systems! Whoops, never mind, I'm dead." and this pattern repeats practically for forever! So the characters' deaths mean absolutely NOTHING except for "I was stupid."
Also, the title is the wrong name for the movie. This movie is mostly death; stupid, painful, pointless death. Given how they mentioned all the different lock-down methods (as they call "firewalls") this should be called "Firewall III", since Firewall I was the container holding the alien, Firewall II was the laboratory, and Firewall III is the space station. Is it just me or does that make a million times more sense for the title?
Normally, for most movies, I'd understand why people might love and/or hate the movie, but this one? This is an absolute slap in the face for anyone who has brain cells and is sober! I do not understand why you people like this, but don't make me watch it again! I'm sorry, but they forced me to say "Life sucks."
Peg+Cat (2013)
Innocent at First, but the Haters Deserve a Voice
If you're reading the review, you're probably wondering why I'm choosing to bash at a kids show about mathematics, but I hope that if you read this, it will make sense.
I have a younger brother, who - at the time this review was typed out - is six years old, and even HE doesn't like this show, and I've observed as to why. Ever notice that the characters always talk too fast to get the information grabbed at? There is never a breath of air between the dialogue. A similar issue to one I had growing up to Dinosaur Train. The characters spoke too fast, so I could never get invested in the lessons. They just whizzed by my comprehension.
Another thing to point out, the characters themselves. There's a difference between "simplifying" and "dumbing it down". Simplifying would be just explaining the basics of the concept, but dumbing something down is believing the audience doesn't understand because they're dumb. This show does that with its characters. When it showed Einstein as an imbecile (not even for growing purposes), I wanted to scream, and all the characters feel like cardboard cutouts that aren't relatable. Plus, Peg would overreact at even the smallest of situations, not even something that little kids would relate to.
One of the biggest annoyances that I'm sad to see in almost everything that's supposedly for children is hypnotic movement. Ever notice that all the characters speak and move non-stop and almost at the same speed? It's the equivalent of watching a watch waving back and forth or when you almost pass out from looking at the scenery zoom by when you're riding in a car. Both of those numb the mind enough so that you don't think about the show, but not so much to make you bored. This happens ALL around the show.
I know this is supposed to be for little kids to get engaged in math, but I don't feel like that was the intent. Even if it was, this show is a horrible way to engage kids to do that, because they don't even get engaged because of how bland, blank and hypnotic this show is.
I understand this is for kids, and you may call be a hater all you want, but kids deserve better than this show and this show deserves to be taken down.
Gemini Man (2019)
Clone Consensus
I'm sorry, I tried my HARDEST to enjoy this movie, but I couldn't. Long story short, the first half was dumb, slow and boring, and the second half was dumb, blurry and infuriating.
Despite how much I'll rip it to shreds, the ONLY reason I'm giving it 3 stars instead of just 1, is the technology to duplicate Will Smith. I have to admit, it's actually kind of amazing. But, Will Smith's performance is looking a lot like his After Earth performance... so it doesn't hold well in that area. AND SO MANY of the characters are invisible. Really, the closest I can get is an assassin who doesn't want to kill anymore - not really, but still - and that's it!
The advertising and the name already suggest that the movie is about a man fighting his clone, but the movie spends FOREVER trying to build it up! Seriously, even when Junior (Will Smith's clone) does show up, the main characters take FOREVER trying to realize he's a clone!
To make things worse, the characters act WAY TOO NONCHALANT to the action all throughout the movie. I get Will Smith, since he was a former assassin, but even when his partner - who has NO fighting experience, mind you - gets kidnapped and held hostage as bait to attract Will Smith's character (notice that I'm not saying his name, since I forgot it already), but she doesn't bat an eyelash.
Plus, the fact that Gemini, the corporation that cloned him, is trying to kill the original is completely unknown as to why. What's worse is that they send JUNIOR to go after him! Why the heck would you send a clone who doesn't know he is a clone after the originator of the clone?!! That's bound to get an existential crisis! And his relationship with his handler is INFURIATING! I mean, Junior's "father" had already tried to kill him twice, but at the end he hesitates to do so. In fact, ALL THE CHARACTERS, feel the need to hesitate. And WILL SMITH'S character decided to tell Junior NOT to kill him because he'll get what he calls "ghosts". Sorry, he's a blank slate and his handler already tried to kill him, I think it's okay. Sure, Will Smith decided to shoot his handler for Junior, but does that REALLY help?
And if that wasn't infuriating enough, the dialogue is AWFUL! It's like the writer had such a limited vocabulary, but he thought that "ghosts" - for instance - was a such a good mark of poetry, so he spread that throughout the movie a lot. Really, if you watch the movie, you'll see what I mean!
Honestly, to me, this felt more like "Us" under the skin of "After Earth" and that should NOT be made.
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
Me-Like All-These Monsters
I didn't expect to enjoy this film as much as I did, but I'm shocked. Even from someone who didn't read the stories before watching this, I can tell the love this movie showed when trying to show this to the public.
Sure, the characters aren't fantastic or anything, but they're fun and portrayed extraordinarily well by their actors and actresses, no matter which part! I've heard people compare this to Goosebumps, but - while I understand - I still think it's a good way to link the stories in one. It's based off a wide collection of scary stories!
If you were to look at the illustrations of the stories and compare them with the movie, they'd look almost identical to each other, it's astounding how close they appear! However, my favorite thing about the movie is the idea of being trapped in destiny. I won't spoil the ending (honestly, I think the ending is kind of clever, in my opinion) but I will say the emotion the characters express when they realize they can't escape their inevitable doom is compelling, and really tries to get the viewer to try to figure out, how do you stop the stories from writing the characters?
Speaking of, the way the characters blend with the original Scary Stories is nicely done. It really tries to show the links in the stories to help the fans of the books enjoy the film!
What else can I say but, the books are amazing and the movie did it's absolute best to replicate that to us.
Child's Play (2019)
Didn't Twist the Blade Enough...
I'll be honest, like most people, I was skeptical of this movie, but I gave it a fair shot for doing its job. I'll be honest, I wasn't as impressed as I wanted to be.
Let me just say, despite most of its flaws, when Chucky is onscreen, it's a million times more fun to watch. The puppetry on him is very well done - just not when it's CG - and Mark Hamill's legendary performance from Joker was a good inspiration to have him be the voice of Chucky. I honestly didn't even know that was him the first time I watched this. Plus, I do love the change in backstory of Chucky in this version: rather than being a spirit possessing a doll, he's an AI who will always try to make his friend happy, however not always succeeding. The way the movie portrayed it was very nicely done.
However, as much as 2019's Chucky is fantastic, he doesn't have a strong enough story to bear him. Every single other character is either boring, dumb, a bully for no reason, or just not important. It was incredibly hard for me to root for the characters or even feel sorry for their deaths. That's the primary problem with the film.
All in all, I'd rather not watch the whole movie again, but I would love to see Mark Hamill's Chucky in a MUCH better movie.
Escape Room (2019)
A Puzzle with Red Herrings
As a whole, the movie was pretty cool. I would be lying if I said that this movie was absolutely terrible or even THAT painful to watch. It does have an interesting premise... for the most part.
The characters are kind of standard, the shy smart student, the annoying geek, the stoner, the militant, the boss, the unwise friend, it's kind of run-of-the-middle in that area.
The story has some promise, but it does have MASSIVE flaws that I think a lot of people overlook. The escape room company, Minos Escape Rooms, has customized the rooms entirely for the players. How the players they intended to show up all happened to show up? I don't know, but there's the start. Once this was realized, I have to question, "If the puzzles are customized to their backstories, why is it so hard for them to solve?" I mean, it's like giving me a locked box, where the password is "14" just because that's my favorite number and it's decorated to everything I enjoy. I'm pretty sure I would've figured it out sooner.
I will give credit that the puzzle room designs are pretty gosh darn creative: the oven, the lake, the upside-down billiard room, and the zebra paint job do deserve a mention. It's just frustrating when the characters can't seem to solve easy puzzles or even just simple scenarios, like the fact that the lady at the desk was just a recording. It's even worse when there's no logical way to solve the puzzle. For instance, in the first room, the oven waiting area, you can find the solution WITHOUT turning on the oven. And the characters had to decide to take a fire extinguisher to HIT A DOOR before they find a key. When there's no logic to the puzzles, it's kind of annoying to watch or even care.
One big flaw the movie made was spoiling one of its own rooms for us. It starts off with one of the characters all alone in a room where one of the walls is closing in on him. Clever room, but in the previous room, there's a painful fight scene, and the timing couldn't be worse. We're down to two players, but they're in the black-and-white painted room, with drugs in the air to mess with their vision, with a spinning floor, with intense strobe lights, and the footage was super choppy with its editing; it legitimately hurt my eyes to watch, and I'm not even epileptic. Plus, I already know who makes it through alive since we already saw the "last" survivor!
The ending of the movie is poorly made, I'm sorry. Minos somehow was able to make the business just disappear off the face of the planet with, supposedly, no evidence. Yep. No evidence of the amount of power required to heat up a thousand square foot room to almost 500 degrees, cool a two-thousand square foot room to below freezing, the walls required to hold a couple thousand gallons of ice cold water, the gigantic elevator shaft required for the billiard room, or even the website. All of it, gone in just the nick of time. And it all leads to an 'omnipotent puppetmaster' cliche in the movie, which made this frustrating.
The only thing is that I can hope that there are not only better rooms, but better character and better puzzles. I genuinely want to see a well made movie based on the concept of escape rooms, and I'm hoping that the 2020 sequel will lead up to it.