jaydoo Reviews

Spaceman (I) (2024)

Tedious Tedium

[2/10 · 28 March 2024]

The story is neither exciting nor interesting. It unfolds so slowly you will want to pull your eyelashes out. This whole idea could have been a 20 minute short feature. Hollywood needs to ramp up their story writing. The industry isn't dying because of filesharing, it is the lousy movies with big hype (this one) that are killing it.

Anyway, not even time will be able to elevate this movie to some type of niche market cult classic. The best we can hope is that the file disintegrates from devouring within like the principal alien did. Come on Sandler! Pull your head out and make something entertaining next time.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Subspace Rhapsody (2023) Season 2, Episode 9

In a word...STUPID!

[4/10 · 5 August 2023]

Have the writers run out of real ideas already? Where are the political, social, and humanitarian grey areas that TOS was famous for. I hope the writers' strike gives everyone involved with this episode time to consider that any AI can dole out crap like this. If the eriters want to prove that they are better, then it's time to try harder.

Here's a few hints: 1. More action. This means more hostile beings/entities/phenomenon.

2. Chappel and Spock NEVER got together. Stick to the already established character arcs or use new/different characters.

3. Use the podium to articulate the hipocrasy in major world events or the human condition.

4. Captain Pike needs to make some hard decisions that have no right answer and have catestrophic consequences for one side or the other; no matter what path he takes.

5. And finally, MORE (NON-HUMANOID) ALIENS. (see hint #1)

It's time to get gritty.

Court Night Live (2022)

A&E Should Hang It's Head in SHAME.

[1/10 · 16 August 2022]

Sad, sad, sad. Judges that can't control a courtroom, a lack of evidence shown to the tv audience, and an annoying host that tries to dress and look like Dan Abrams. The only positives are the expert opinions and explanations from the two judges in the studio. Without them, the show would be incomprehensible.

Hey A&E, here's an idea, BRING BACK LIVE PD! Your ratings will thank you.....

Run the Burbs (2022–2024)

Lame!

[3/10 · 8 January 2022]

Not funny. The one thing Kim's Convenience could always be relied on to provide was "funny". Last season's new series starring a former KC actress as a pet rescue manager was also lame.

Where is the writing talent? Perhaps everyone is busy working on Letter Kenny.

Strays (2021–2022)

Network Heads Should Roll !!

[1/10 · 21 September 2021]

Some network executive cancellec Kim's Convenience for this?!

Give your head a shake. Strays has zero storyline, zero intetesting characters, and zero relevance. The ONLY thing it has are cutsie shots of handicapped animals.

Shame on you CBC. Whoever greenlighted this, and whoever axed Kim's, should be sent packing.

Cry Macho (2021)

Oh My Gosh, What A Snoozefest!!

[18 September 2021]

All I can ask is, WHY?

For what purpose was this film made. NONE of the actors gave any performance that will be considered by their peers for an Oscar nomination, the story is bland and lame, the action is non-existent (sorry, I don't call a rooster coming out of a car to distract the bad guy "action"), and the soundtrack will never be on anyone's playlist.

I hope it kept somebody in Hollywood working during the pandemic, because if I could take back the time I spent watching it, I certainly would.

I respect Mr. Eastwood and his lifetime of work, but if this is all he is capable of then he should ride quietly into that Mexican sunset and enjoy his remaining years sipping a really good tequila.

Corona Zombies (2020 Video)

Straight Outta the 60s Style Schlock....

[5/10 · 16 April 2020]

As a movie, awful. As a 60 minute diversion...not bad. Corny gags, scary world leader, messy make-up FX, no coherent plot, and don't forget the gratuitous mysoginistic nudity.....

There are a lot (and I mean A-lot) of serious studio movies out this year that are less entertaining than this.

The Orville: Lasting Impressions (2019) Season 2, Episode 11

Ugh! It's time for less "feelings" and more Krill.

[4/10 · 25 March 2019]

When did the show become Grey's Anatomy in space? Can we please get back to the science fiction writing and sharp dialog. If you want hugs and singing, try List in Space; circa 1965.

Star Trek: Horizon (2016)

$22 600 Star Trek Cosplay?

[2/10 · 20 February 2018]

If you want to get your friends together and play Star Trek, then by all means break out the cosplay gear and have a good time. If you want to use some kickstarter money to make a film, then hire some actors and tell your friends they can hang out and watch. Don't give your friends parts in your movie and blow your meager budget on lame CGI. Why? Because your friends can't act, and $22 600 of CGI is not enough to save your movie.

Skip this stinking steamer and rewatch TAS if you feel like some cheap-a$$ crappy Star Trek... at least you will get a coherent story or two.

Star Trek: Discovery (2017–2024)

You can't just rewrite Star Trek history

[1/10 · 23 November 2017]

This series takes place before TOS, yet the tech exceeds TOS. Why not set it in another time period? Star Trek was about contemporary issues wrapped in future wisdom. Discovery is about expensive computer graphics, xenophobic aliens, and "might is right". Unfortunately it misses the mark set by TOS and TNG. I find it strange (funny) how another series about space exploration that was derived as a comedy is currently "out-trekking" Trek. Check out The Orville for some back to TNG style light hearted episodes of Wagon Train in space.

Sadly, I believe that network execs have ruined another great long term TV franchise. If you network suits really want to save this show, hit a Star Trek convention, scrape up some real die-hard trekkers, give them a fair budget to write stories, and then sign cheques and keep your mouths shut. Real fans of Star Trek will deliver the truest Star Trek experience.

If Discovery leaves you unfulfilled, ignore the professional critics and check out The Orville!

Midnight, Texas (2017–2018)

Mindless Pap.

[1/10 · 4 August 2017]

You should be able to predict every plot twist they are going to throw out there for the whole season by the end of the first episode.

Is NOBODY doing any original thinking in the screen writing department anymore??

The characters are cliché, the "big bad" is foreshadowed so hard you must have your head in pudding while you watch if you can't see who's coming to town, and the hero/heroine combo will never hook-up because the whole thing relies on their sexual tension to hold the show together (remember Sam & Diane in CHEERS).

Skip this and watch "Hap & Leonard" instead. Same plot line, better characters, acting, and storytelling.

The Neon Demon (2016)

Vampire Movie? Spoiler

[2/10 · 6 February 2017]

There are not any vampires in this movie. Not a big thing, except that they hyped it as a vampire movie. It is a vanity movie about small minded vain people that will eat people that are prettier than they are in the hopes that they will acquire some of the victim's beauty.

OK. Even that is not correct. They are jealous, kill the pretty one, and eat the body to hide the evidence and out of spite.

The sad thing is, the plot is very obvious right from the beginning.

There are not any vampires in this movie. Not a big thing, except that they hyped it as a vampire movie. It is a vanity movie about small minded vain people that will eat people that are prettier than they are in the hopes that they will acquire some of the victim's beauty.

OK. Even that is not correct. They are jealous, kill the pretty one, and eat the body to hide the evidence and out of spite.

The sad thing is, the plot is very obvious right from the beginning.

There are not any vampires in this movie. Not a big thing, except that they hyped it as a vampire movie. It is a vanity movie about small minded vain people that will eat people that are prettier than they are in the hopes that they will acquire some of the victim's beauty.

OK. Even that is not correct. They are jealous, kill the pretty one, and eat the body to hide the evidence and out of spite.

The sad thing is, the plot is very obvious right from the beginning.

The Revenant (I) (2015)

8 out of 10 for the bear and scenic beauty, but 1 out of 10 for this movie.

[1/10 · 24 January 2016]

The only reason I give it a one (instead of a zero), is the educational aspect of the bear scene. Once you see the grizzly cubs, it is already too late. Glass should have been making as much noise as possible while walking in the woods. The scenery was also fantastic (both the lush and bleak scenes), but you could see that with a search online for "scenic forest wallpapers". The story was boring, predictable (when the canteen is framed with the swirl showing, you just know it will the be "tell-tale heart" later in the movie; and then when Glass drops it in the snow while fleeing, my mind said BINGO.

A final note, was it really necessary to break the fourth wall at the end of the movie. "Hey, look at me Oscars, I really want that statue." Re-watch "The Bear" if you need a real dose of North American Wilderness scenery and want a story to go with it.