colbj-49411 Reviews

Army of Thieves (2021)

Better than Army of the Dead.

[7/10 · 1 November 2021]

***Mild spoilers***

Why is this film better? IMO, Army of the Dead suffers from many moments where characters in the film do unbelievably stupid things, there are gaping plot holes and the performances are mixed, to say the least.

This film is far more grounded. The performances are far more even, the characters likable. I may need to watch it again, but there are no gaping plot holes.

It's basically a bank heist film, with a bit of romance thrown in and some comedic elements. A team of skilled individuals (a thief, a hacker and an action man) approach a hobbyist safecracker to join their team to break into banks containing famous safes (all based on The Ring by Wagner) while the world is distracted by a zombie infestation.

Gripes: The fight scenes for the character Gwendoline, played by Nathalie Emmanuel. She's a master thief, cunning, smart and not physically intimidating. She doesn't need to be, the job of brainless muscle ball is filled by team member Brad Cage.

In two separate scenes she beats down 4 guys with her bare hands and it looks ridiculous. It would have been much more in keeping with her characters established personality to get her to evade outwit and Taser the guards, inject them with sedative and then tie them up. Instead we get a violent and protracted fight scene where she seriously injures people doing their job. Meanwhile, in a parallel scene, Brad quickly disables a slew of guards with knock darts without causing as much as a bruise.

Would I recommend it? Yes, it's an enjoyable romp, well worth a look.

Get Grubby TV (2014–2017)

Awful

[1/10 · 20 January 2021]

Was this show made to meet some form of Australian content quota?

It looks like it was filmed in someones backyard for a budget of about 5 bucks. The acting is diabolical, the stories poor, the music god awful.

My daughter, who was 3-4 when it first aired on ABC Kids would leave the room until she knew it was finished, she hated it.

Watch Bluey instead.

Ava (IV) (2020)

A waste of bandwidth

[2/10 · 14 December 2020]

This recently dropped onto Netflix.

The problems with this film in summary: A talented cast - wasted. A boring by the numbers story line. Miscast lead.

On this last point. Jessica Chastain plays a lethal assassin, but it's not her type of role. She isn't beautiful, or charismatic enough, to convince you that she could seduce men at a whim.

Geena Davis, who is also in this film, played this kind of role about 25 years ago and was way more convincing. As are/were Charlize Theron, or Jennifer Lawrence.

The fight/action scenes are utterly ridiculous. There is absolutely no way you will believe she could best anyone in a physical confrontation.

It isn't worth the time.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Terrible

[1/10 · 20 July 2020]

Don't waste your time, go rent the original movies.

Ocean's Eight (2018)

You broke rule number 2.

[1/10 · 7 January 2019]

Why do people dislike Ocean's 8?

I believe this can be explained with Danny Ocean's 3 rules: -Don't hurt anybody. -Don't steal from anyone who doesn't deserve it. -Play the game like you've got nothing to lose.

Upon being paroled, Debbie Ocean immediately steals a bagful of items from a department store and then commits credit card fraud by re-booking a hotel room after the couple have already left.

The latter breaks rule number 2, the couple didn't deserve it. They were just innocent people enjoying a holiday.

This sets the tone for the whole film. Debbie Ocean is a common thief who is smug, entitled and not very likable.

Danny Ocean would be ashamed.

Hey Duggee (2014– )

Outstanding

[10/10 · 10 July 2018]

The best children's show on TV, by a country mile.

The Wiggles: Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle (2017–2018)

Buy a DVD of Wiggle & Learn instead.

[1/10 · 10 July 2018]

I have sat through this truly horrendous series on ABC Kids with my daughter.

Let's be blunt. The pacing and editing is sloppy, the writing is poor, the song choices lamentable, the choreography tired. In fact, it's the exact opposite of the Wiggles pre Emma, Lachy and Simon.

All three 'newer' Wiggles have now been around just as long as Sam was, but they clearly have no on screen chemistry. Greg, Sam, Murray and Geoff make them all look like hacks.

I concur with the other reviewer on two points: 1)The constant Irish dancing, bag pipes and ballet will drive you absolutely insane, as will the incredibly weak singing, which lacks even a smidgen of harmony, or energy. Listen to them murder Wiggles classics like 'Big Red Car', or 'Fruit Salad' with Emma's pip squeak voice and Simon's dominant baritone. You'll cringe.

2) Creative control needs to be wrestled from Anthony and the rest of the Fields. Time for a new perspective.

Do as I did, go to eBay/Gumtree and buy a DVD from their back catalogue. You won't regret the purchase, the 'Old' Wiggles really kick arse, which makes this series even more unfortunate.

It's Hummer Time (1950)

I hate this cartoon.

[1/10 · 29 May 2018]

As a young child Looney Tunes was on every day at 5pm. I rarely missed it.

However, there were a few cartoons from WB that I really disliked. At the top of that short list was 'It's Hummer Time'. If it came on I'd either leave the room, or change the channel.

As with most of the cartoons made from this period, it's wonderfully animated and beautifully scored. The problem is the disturbing storyline between the dog, cat and hummingbird.

A dim-witted cat, pursuing a smart a** hummingbird, disturbs the rest of a large aggressive bulldog. In most cartoons the bulldog would simply belt the cat for this indignity and that would be it. Not in this case.

To the tune of a rather appropriate choice of angry and aggressive music called 'Powerhouse', he drags the cat, who screams for mercy, to an elaborate torture sequence. The cat then blithely accepts his sadistic fate.

Maybe this would be ok if it happened just once, but it happens several times, as the Hummingbird tries and succeeds in getting the cat in continual trouble with the dog. Eventually the bird get the best of the cat and dog and the cartoon ends. How hilarious.

Like most rational people you'd be happy to see the bird, clearly a nasty sociopath with no redeeming qualities, turned into a bird pie. Unfortunately, this doesn't eventuate.

I can only conclude that the main writer thought that senseless violence, no matter its form, is always funny. Well, it isn't.