myicq-1 Reviews

Dark Justice (2018)

Computers go "beep beep"

[2/10 · 23 April 2024]

So another title with "Internet" written all over, "just because" it's modern and cool. In the first 10 minutes you are met with several computer screens that fulfil every cliche of hollywood computer screen display: you have the large text whenever you do something ("COPYING" / "FILE COPIED" ). There is the constant number generating in small window text in the background. And most annoyingly: EVERY SINGLE event on the computer is done to a metallic "bleep / beep",

Of course the beeping / number generating starts immediately when the "hackers" open the screen. Of course the bad guys randomly can gain access to a safe room. Probably typed "OVERRIDE" somewhere when asked for a password.

These points make the movie completely laughable. This is of course forgetting how everyone speaks English, even in Luxemburg. Also the "Chinese" business woman.

Joke of a C movie.

Sixty Minutes (2024)

Like an 80s computer game in a movie

[4/10 · 29 January 2024]

The plot is new related to MMA. We kind of expect an MMA movie to be like Rocky: an all-out-fight in the right where the protagonist finally wins with a small margin. But this buffed dude struggles to wirte a birthday card to a 7yo girl (which looks nothing like him).

Then the strange twist that he runs from the fight, and starts the whole movie.

From there it starts of as good fun action. But very quickly it's like seeing a live action coin-up like "street fighter II" or "Tekken": no matter how beat up the characters get, seconds later they appear again and continue fighting. Even if being shot, having fallen down 10m on concrete.. Practicaly no nose bleeding or blood in general. And no ability to finish the opponent. I actually at one point wished for some voice to shout "Finish Him!".

There are other plot holes. Like how insanely easy it is to find a person on the run in Berlin, even with a GPS watch. How well seated that ear piece is. How simple it is to operate a phone by voice commands only.

I give 1 for the movie and 3 for the scenes in Berlin.

Sister, What Grows Where Land Is Sick? (2022)

A shortfilm / art cinema that's just too long

[2/10 · 2 December 2023]

Part of the ARTE film festival 2023, a film you feel you just have to see because the selected films MUST be good.

Set in beautiful and rough norther Norway, in a barren and cold landscape, we follow two late teen sisters. The younger tells the story (the film plot according to description) about how she reads the diary of the older sister.

This could lead to many different plots, but this is where the film seems to lose the direction. The older sister has a diary full of glitter, drawings, clipouts, fairly dystopian and somehow desparate. But the scenes that follow in the next 1 hour or so are like a lot of 3-5 minute shorts set together, featuring the same sisters but totally out of context. We see the older sister in a tub telling about ripping open her skin. Next the two sisters may be somewhere on a street hitchhiking, followed by them taking a swim.

You really feel like you WANT to make sense of all this, but just can't make a story of it. And you feel in the end "maybe I'm just too stupid to understand such an intellectual movie". As in the old fairy tale of the emperor's new clothes.

Trom (2022)

Depressing and dark, beautiful scenery

[6/10 · 11 April 2023]

TROM is a nordic noir just like several other Scandinavian crime stories that have come out. Set on the Faroe Islands (Føroyar), the story involves idealistic activism and dubious corporate actions that has roots to official parts of the country.

The setting is beautiful, with absolutely stunning fly-overs of fjords, green rocks, sheep, tiny houses and crashing waves. Not much mentioned that there are any cities larger than 2 houses.

The characters all seem like the type of people you will find at the west coast of Denmark: rough fisher-men types, with a forever depressed look. No smiles to see here.

What bothers me the most about this series is that Faroese and Danish is mixed at random. The Danes speak Danish, Faroese speak Faroese - and they always understand each other completely. This is far from the reality. Such language mix can be shown between Sweden and Denmark, or maybe Norway / Denmark. But no Dane will randomly understand Faroese - and if they do, they'll also be able to speak it. As a native Dane, it becomes annoying to take such freedoms. Like when someone in a show is interviewing a random person (ex: arabix), asks questions in English, and is responded in Arab. Interpreters obviously cut away.

Quit watching after end of episode 2 where a serious technical plot hole was needed to make the story continue.

For this reason, 3 stars gone.