WankerReviews Reviews

The D Train (2015)

hmmm

[3/10 · 8 August 2023]

A movie with an interesting twist that doesn't go anyway. Upon first viewing, the sex scene comes out of nowhere, and i'm in such shock that i wasn't paying close attention. I assumed jack black's character got assaulted by james marsden. And then the rest of the movie was going to deal with jack being an SA victim. Which would have been way more interesting. Imagine someone who you admire, who seems successful, and is good looking and industry connected, and you're the complete opposite. You're out of shape, make less money, not as good looking and originary in every way. Then suddenly this person who you look up to and want to be like, sexually assaults you, and then sends you on your way. Not only that, but this happens to a straight man. How does a straight man deal with this. Could have been fascinating to explore, but instead it goes for a more overdone route where the man is confused on his sexuality and becomes emotional.

A Deadly Price for Her Pretty Face (I) (2020)

love shawn pyfrom

[7/10 · 6 September 2022]

I only watched the movie for shawn pyfrom, and had low expectations going in but was still excited. But the movie ended up being good, with decent acting and towards the end it didnt unfold in an predictable way. It has a typical lifetime format but still entertaining with twists. And shawn's acting was really good, he needs to be in more acting gigs. I would deff watch again. The ending made me sad though. This could have been a mini series with 5 or 6 1 hour episodes, cause at times i thought the story could have been fleshed out more. I wanted to know more about the kidnappers, and more backstory with the lead. Everything felt rushed, but there was never a dull moment.

The Desperate Hour (2021)

shocked

[7/10 · 4 July 2022]

By the trailer it looked really bad. Months later i decided to watch it after forgetting what it was about. I'm shocked at how much i ended up enjoying this. Very suspenseful, and basically a one character movie, where you're in their point of view and feel everything they feel. I'm also shocked no one else seem to like it, because of all the running. I thought it was entertaining.

The Woman in the House (2022)

meh

[4/10 · 28 January 2022]

Not a thriller you would take seriously, more quirky, and got more humorous as the episodes go on. I was disappointed it wasnt more serious cause thats what i was expecting, but i guess the tone makes sense given the ridiculously long title. I did enjoy the tone of the first 2 episodes more than in episode 3. The story goes in an unexpected direction that i wasn't too fond of. I didn't like the subplot with the flight attendant wife being a con artist with the male stripper. Kristen bell's ex husband has got to be the dumbest person ever, and im sure that his actions were supposed to be satire. Who takes their daughter to work and leaves them alone with a psycho? Overall it's an okay show.

Scream (I) (2022)

not good

[4/10 · 14 January 2022]

Didnt know what to expect when going in. Didnt see any trailers since they spoiler so much. I did see a few people praise the movie but still kept my expectation neutral.

Going in, the opening scene was underwhelming. This actress is so damn irritating in anything i see her in, and she didn't fail at being a pain in my side through out the movie. Do you know how disappointed i was when i found out this broad was still alive. The only thing decent about the opening was how brutal it was but the bad acting ruined it. The kills were the only positive thing about the movie as whole, ghost face was bad ass and the jumpscares always caught me off guard. Ghost face was literally the only good thing about this, because every character in this was LAME. I honest to god did not like anyone. It was difficult to root for anyone. The leading lady was one dimensional, her sister was annoying and a bad actress, her friends were wack and forgettable, sidney prescott was an after thought. The only exception was the car scene with the guy wanting to leave town, and forget the inhaler.

Why did they bring back billy loomis as an imaginary friend/ghost and basically make him a hero. Why did they give billy loomis a daughter. The killer reveal was underwhleiming, and the motive was stupid and lazy. It was so dumb and random and added no depth to the series. And the part where the girl came back to life after catching fire was goofy.

They should have made the black girl the killer cause there was one scene in the basement that could have been unsettling but the potential was taken away. The whole movie was just characters cracking jokes about who was or wasn't the killer, and when you finally find who it is its a letdown. And their ''motive'' makes it even worse.

Wild Things 2 (2004 Video)

don't expect a masterpiece

[7/10 · 1 January 2022]

Plot is predictable if you watched the first movie, but it was still entertaining and joe michael burke is very sexy, so he was great eye candy. He's also a good actor along with isaiah washington. Isaiah was acting his butt off like was going for the oscar, and looked like he had fun with the role while also taking it seriously. Deff my favorite performance.

Hideout (2021)

wow

[6/10 · 16 November 2021]

It shocked me how good this was. Mind you it wasnt a masterpiece, but it genuinely creeped me out at certain points because of the imagery in one scene.i was like wow this is really good. There's also a nice blend of humor that isn't over the top and placed in just the right spots. The runtime was a bit long, the acting is uneven but you can tell they are putting their all into it. I liked the fact that i couldn't wait to see what would happen next, i was very much invested in the stories and characters. It was fun at times.

Lair (2021)

not bad but not very good

[4/10 · 9 November 2021]

This had a lot of potential. The opening was impressive and creepy, then it quickly goes downhill when we're introduced to a little girl and her annoying family. The acting was really bad, especially from the red head. I thought of turning it off 30 minutes in but stuck with it. It shot back up when the kills started happening again those were very well done, and actually creepy. Majority of the movie is full of filler and build up, which could be fine if the writing was better and the characters weren't boring/unlikeable. The deaths scenes are the best part. The overall premise is good but I kept wondering how something like this would turn out if James Wan got to direct it. He would have been able to do wonders for a story like this, and tighten up the loose ends.

Catching Killers (I) (2021– )

not as expected

[3/10 · 5 November 2021]

A mini series about how the detectives solved various crimes through the years.

The Green river episode wasnt all that interesting ive never been interested with this man. I more so wanted to learn about the victims

Alieen was a better episode, even tho you know the outcome it was still suspenseful. Shes always been an interesting person.

Episode 3 this detective was a trip. He was talking about how motherly or grandmotherly this woman was after she confessed to strangling another woman. Then he tried to spin it like maybe she was under someone else's control. White privilege will forever amaze me. You will never hear a detective talk like this about a black criminal. This episode has a nice twist. As soon as the twist came it was more exciting. Everything before that didnt grab my attention, and i cant tell you why.

Overall i thought the show was underwhelming and surprisingly short. I Already knew about the happy face killer and green river and those were never that interesting. Maybe that's why they milk the heck out of ted bundy.

Operation Hyacinth (2021)

hm

[2/10 · 13 October 2021]

Disappointed plot wise. Was under the impression this would be about a serial killer that targets gays, and the police department is homophoibc, and dragging their feet to solve it, while one lone detective tries to solve it himself. I was looking forward to mystery and some thrills, but it played more like a light action with the lead character battling his sexuality.

What Breaks the Ice (2020)

underwhelming

[2/10 · 2 October 2021]

The movie is boring with underwhelming characters for the first 70 minutes. It's repetitive and all they do is drink, laugh, hangout, and talk. It doesnt start getting good until the detectives arrive. I didnt like the ending because to me it was unrealistic. I dont believe they would have just dropped the investigation, especially since the story emily told seemed suspicious. The guy that tried to rape you, magically gets into a car accident right after? Plus law enforcement doesnt generally sympathize with rape victims, which would entice them to look into the case even more.

Through the Glass Darkly (2020)

boring

[2/10 · 25 September 2021]

Nothing interesting happens until over an hour later. No suspense no thrills, bad wigs. Things just happen and then the movie ends. The movie just lacked energy.

Surge (I) (2020)

boring

[2/10 · 24 September 2021]

Was under the impression this would be like the movie ''crank'', minus the heart storyline. Instead it's basically about a white guy who doesn't have enough white privilege, so he goes on a rampage, and spreads misery/discomfort to others. He acts like a victim when people get mad at him for the bad things he's doing. Are we suppose to root for him? Didn't like the movie, but was still well made and so was the ending.

The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2021)

hmmm

[4/10 · 20 September 2021]

Movie starts off good. Wasn't familiar with the real Tammy but still wanted to watch. The lgbt stuff felt kinda preachy and not organic. As the movie goes on the performances, specifically Jessica's, felt kinda cartoony and over the top, but for the most part she was good. The make up was great. This was more like a lifetime movie with top tier actors. The movie is 2 hours but last half, especially after the money scandal, felt so rushed I was unmoved by the whole thing.

Another Girl (2021)

ugh

[5/10 · 15 September 2021]

Really wasnt what i expected. Majority of the movie is about one woman who cant catch a break because she comes from a broken home and constantly puts herself into sticky situations. She makes obvious bad decisions, as a viewer i found it hard to believe anyone would make such stupid choices. It was hard to feel bad for her. 99% of the movie is basically a drama about her life while she is communicating with a mysterious woman, who claimed to be the author of a famous book, but was later proven to be a liar, and is just some random stranger.

The character knows this but continues talking to them. Another stupid decision. And then when we finally get the meat and potatoes of why i even decided to watch this, it happens at the very end, and we dont even see anything just a loud sound effect. Very irritating. They gave us this huge build up and it leads to nothing. I get what they were trying to do but still.

We hear voice overs of this character and katie, while they type online, and sometimes it was hard to tell whose voice it was, cause they sound so similar.

Prey (VI) (2021)

it was ok

[4/10 · 10 September 2021]

The movie never really sucked me in because i didnt care about these men. It also reminded me of much better movies like ''surviving the game''. I dont care how well you know these woods, how was this woman able to keep up with them, sometimes even being ahead of them. These woods are huge, and would have made more sense had there been more shooters. Also movies need to stop making it seem as though women can fight against men in hand to hand combat. The last fight scene was frustrating, it could have ended in 10 seconds had it been realistic. All the guy needed to do was pop her in the face once, but instead the director had them tickling eachother for 2 minutes to add some ''thrills''. Ending was satisfying though.

House Monster (2020)

i want my dollar back

[1/10 · 10 September 2021]

The movie was boring. Film had potential. A woman dealing with loneliness and self doubt, is convinced there's a monster in her house and no one believes her, that sounds interesting, the possibilities are endless. Unfortunately the dialogue is drawn out and boring.. When it first started i wasnt sure if this is suppose to be a comedy, satire, or a straight horror movie. The advertisements made it look like a found footage covid type movie. It's more like a drama with humor, and horror elements, which could have worked but The acting is terrible. The big problem with this movie is lead character. Shes very annoying and unlikable. The movie was a waste of time. The fake blood on the woman's face looked like ketchup from those packets you can get at mcdonalds. And then they tried to get deep with a monologue at the end. They even had this character do a blackcent ''oh hell no i aint going back in that house''. REALLY? Insulting. Like they're imitating black people, when black people say they wouldn't do this or that in a scary movie.

The actress literally looks like a yoga instructor from new york city, who lives in the west village with her 2 dogs. Why does she sound like honey boo boo. Why not just have her acting like a regular white woman. Complete waste of time and false advertisement.

0.5 and the half star because of one scene where the woman is locked out of her house. That was the only time i perked up and it made me think it was going to get better, but it doesnt. I cant recommend it. I feel like i wasted my dollar. I want my dollar back. If you have an amazon prime account i would wait until the movie is of no extra charge, and it's included with your account. Or if its ever available on tubi.

The Night House (2020)

it was ok

[5/10 · 26 August 2021]

Ended up being disappointed. It's a well made movie, and has a good pace, but not as scary as it was hyped to be. It would have been better without the horror elements and just stuck with mystery/drama. I was also confused as to whether or not it was psychological disguised as supernatural. Were the horror elements suppose to represent her trauma about finding out her husband was a cheater and then killed himself? Was he really a serial killer and his guilt is why he offed himself?

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)

ok

[5/10 · 11 July 2021]

The first one was better, it had complex puzzles but was easy to follow. This one was kinda hard to keep up with but still entertaining for the most part, although it did copy some stuff from first, like instead of drowning they were being buried.

I was worried it would lose the horror element and would be more action adventure thankfully it wasnt. The characters from the first were also better written, and more memorable, i dont see myself remembering the people here except for the two leads.

The twist i saw coming a mile away. As soon as they show the news clip. But was still nicely done and i hope they make a 3rd.

Hatched (II) (2021)

boring

[2/10 · 6 July 2021]

The very beginning of the movie was promising, it was creepy suspenseful, wastes no time introducing you to this family's horror. Then 5 minutes in I realized how bad the acting was. The actors made a good effort, so maybe this is more so to do with directing. Girls witness their mom getting eaten and they react like ''oh no aw shucks, oh well crap happens''. Just no emotion. Also the little kid who was brought back to life, looked like a girl but they kept calling her ''mark'', then later I find out it's an actual boy. Odd. Death scenes were boring, most of time you don't see anything, it jump cuts to the dinosaur chewing and someone screaming.

Queen of Spades (2021)

bleh

[3/10 · 17 June 2021]

Seemed promising at first but then half way through it follows the usual horror movie exorcism troupes. Predictable ending, didn't like that they're still killing off the token black person first. Movie wastes no time getting to the point. The ghost design could have been better and less cgi. Got bored half way through, acting is good though.

Rogue Hostage (2021)

blah

[2/10 · 13 June 2021]

The whole movie was very blah mainly because of the direction and editing. Even the fight scenes are boring. The score was bad and sounded like royalty free music. The ending is kinda cute with the kids and spanish. I also liked the idea of the lead getting help through a walkytalky in order to avoid the bad guys, but even that was short lived.

A Perfect Enemy (2020)

seriously?

[3/10 · 12 June 2021]

Felt like i wasted my time. The whole ''its all in your head'' nonsense made the story 10 times less interesting and painful to sit through last 20 minutes.

Stalker (II) (2020)

ok

[4/10 · 1 June 2021]

A man is stalked and harassed by a rideshare driver after rejection

The movie takes itself very seriously. It as watchable but i wasn't sure if i was liking it or not. In the second half it was way more enjoyable with humor is introduced. After giving it some thought i think it's messed up that i found this humorous and that it was played off as humorous because of this was about a woman having her privacy violated by a man, and the cops poking fun at her, it would be disturbing, not funny. But again the movie does work when it's not trying to be serous the whole time. The comedic moments helped it. I didn't like the lead actors performance. A lot of things are happening to him but hes rolling with the punches. If this happened to any of us we would be freaking out. I s he high, deadpan or just bad directing? I also didn't think his love interest was good either. She was the worst performance. I didn't see the twist coming, and at first i thought it was kinda dumb and i didn't udnerstant the motive. Going back to woman's acting, it now makes sens why her acting was so bad, cause she was faking it. Her performance was deff a lot better when we see who she really is. She makes a good cold blooded villain.

The Woman in the Window (2021)

Ridiculous

[3/10 · 14 May 2021]

This was so ridiculous it would have been better if it was all in her head. The ending fight sequence is so cartoonish, and speed up in a weird way, like a cheap action movie. What was up with amy's performance when she got stabbed in the face? The acting is terrible. It didn't fit the rest of the movie, not like the movie was any good to begin with.