michael_wasson Reviews

Dungeon Girl (2008 Video)

Phew!

[12 August 2011]

What a relief! I watched this on fear.net, so it was free.

I echo the sentiments of virtually every reviewer. This movie promised to be interesting by pretending to be based on the real case in Germany where the man held his daughter captive, molesting and even impregnating her multiple times.

This movie has NOTHING like the news story.

Long story, short....nothing happens in this movie. Yes, the guy kidnaps a girl and keeps her in his "house"? Apart from the rather mundane activities like cooking, playing guitar and reading a bible...there is no activities that contribute to the "plot"!!?? Annoying narration that explains nothing of the motivations by the protagonists. This makes Eraserhead look transparent! An absolute mess! It is incomprehensible how this ever got made or distributed.

Watchers (1988)

Why mess with good!?

[27 July 2011]

No one has ever argued that Koontz is the second coming of Shakespeare. But the man has put out some very entertaining and intriguing (albeit formulamatic) horror novels.

Yet, when they decided to make Watchers (one of his more thoughtful and provoking title) did the writer of the screenplay say "Hey! Why don't we change the story and make it a teen slasher AND use it as a Coerey Haim vehicle!? I will tell you why! Because it made it suck!

They changed the whole plot, setting and most of the story and basically forced the audience to watch teen pretty boy Haim, doe-eye his way through a performance.

Reversal (2001)

Did I see the same movie?

[25 September 2007]

Yes, the wrestling is well-done and authentic looking. But for a wrestling movie, there is not much wrestling.

Apart from that....it was pretty much a downer and showed everything negative about a otherwise great sport.

Dangerous weight-cutting, screwed up parents and venomous rivalries! Gee! What a great "Family Movie"!

Lots of characters but not a lot of depth. And the only real interesting character turns out to be a pathological liar! Sorry, but in the end, this wrestling movie is more about bulimia and quitting than anything remotely positive.

Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Painfully average

[2/10 · 12 March 2007]

I watched this movie because my spouse put it into our Netflix queue.

Midway through the movie, I said to my wife "I bet Wally World will be closed when they get there!"

This is the kind of pseudo-intellectual Indie c**p that really chaps me! I am not surprised at the number of reviewers that drew the the Vacation parallel.

All the "rave" reviews here are probably from people that consider the Vacation movies "beneath them" from an intellectual standpoint.

Lets be honest, this is a road trip-where-everything-goes-wrong that we have seen many times before. And although amusing at times, it does not know whether it wants to be a comedy, dark comedy, social commentary or drama.

Not worth the hype AT ALL!