ryanlion-38514 Reviews

Crocodile (2000 Video)

It started off okay?

[3/10 · 19 April 2024]

I was starting to wonder about the bad reviews until I got a little further into the film. I thought it started off alright, until you see the croc. Once I saw the crocodile I was like oh geez. Then I started thinking how cheesy will it get. I lost interest at this point. I think maybe it was a budgeting issue maybe. I don't know. I give it a three for an effort. I think it could of been way better. I would rather watch Rogue or Lake Placid again then sit through this. I might try to finish the movie, but when you have to break it up it isn't a positive note. I thought it was an 80's campy movie. With it being early 2000s there isn't much of an excuse for weak graphics. That's how I see it anyway.

Wolf Creek (2005)

I remembered why I never liked this film

[1/10 · 2 April 2024]

The film just shows violence for the sake of violence. I agree with the reviewers stating this is why the film fails for me. It has no plot development really. It was long periods of nothing. Then long periods of hearing a woman screaming in pain until her final moments of brutality. It was obvious she never stood a chance to get away. I remembered when I was around 17 or 18 when it came out and was bored. Then when it finally begins to pickup it is just gratuitous violence as if that is suppose to scare? It is a pretty repulsive film in more ways than one. I do think Jarret that plays Mick Taylor played the part well, but it still doesn't make the film any good. I think if people re-watched this now and see how they feel. If you enjoy it you must not eve seen a very good film or are just deranged. How is hearing someone scream and cry as they get stabbed with a knive entertaining? I had to break the film into 3 parts to finish the mess. The ending was laughable too. He can survive a car crash, Stab wound to the neck, and can still shoot like a marksman? Lol I was gonna rate this 3 but it gets 1 for too many high reviews. Believe it or not they made a second one and it was nothing short of horrific. As if the first one merited a sequel. I would rather watch grass grow in the desert than sit through it once more. Did I mention what an idiotic film this was? Oh yeah and you cannot even hardly understand him when he talks. This was a qualify made piece of excrement. I give it a D- for the scenery which is why I wanted to see it in the first place back in high school.

Hunt for the I-5 Killer (2011 TV Movie)

Compelling

[7/10 · 31 March 2024]

To the reviewer who disliked the movie because you don't pump your own gas. Although I see the point, but there have been instances where I have pumped my own gas in Oregon. I worked out in Hillsboro, Or recently and had to pump my own gas. It is a movie for goodness sake. Not to mention, it is a made-for-tv film. I so far have liked it and it keeps your attention. This is the point of a film to entertain. I get that we want it all to be completly accurate with no flaws but again it is a movie! I thought they did very well and a step up from that cheap lifetime feel of a movie. I would say 6.5 stars is where it lands for me. If you watched it to the end it served it's purpose.

Retribution (I) (2023)

This was terrible

[3/10 · 28 January 2024]

I love Liam and most of his movies, but this was like stale chicken. It looked good from the outside, but soon as you bite into it ouch! This hurt my head trying to make it through it. I would highly recommend not seeing this if you don't want to tarnish his past films. It made me want to watch Taken all over again to appreciate when a film was made solid. I don't really want to endear that again but it looks like Citizen Kane compared to this bon garbage. It started out looking promising that was the part that got me. This is maybe why I give it 3 or just because Liam Neison is in it. Otherwise avoid this stinker.

Urban Legend (1998)

It get's a solid 6

[6/10 · 24 October 2023]

I use to like this movie way more when I was a teenager. I believed back then it was scary at least more than it seems now. It just seemed comical kind of after re-watching it after so many years. I like the movie. I agree with some of the reviews saying the kills weren't very inventive and the movie is a rip-off of Scream. I would say that is fair. Although the Parka gives it a bit of a different flare. I still think it is a decent film and yes it did feel as though Jared Leto's character played the role of Gale and Jamie Kennedy's but with less spark. The movie as a whole is pretty generic feeling. The thing I do like is Loretta Devine and the cameo of Robert Englund. Outside of that the film was kind of a mess. I just don't feel like any other person would even make sense as the killer other than the one who is. I mean they show her the entire film. Are we suppose to believe it's Jared Leto's character? I mean common. So for that reason I give it a 6. Otherwise it would be a better film. The creepy janitor was a good addition, but still super obvious it wasn't him as the killer either. He was your pervibial misdirection, but I think a third grader could figure out the killer in the first five minutes. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a look. The second one is not even worth a view. C-

The Jester (II) (2023)

Boooooooooo!

[3/10 · 23 October 2023]

Not in the the Halloween way either..I give it a generous 3 for the Jester and costume. The movie lacked substance. Towards the end of the film it just got worse. I was hoping the reviews were wrong. The low reviews were pretty much spot on. It wasn't comical it wasn't funny so it's like what was it? It is not worth a second look I can say that much. It was kind of what I expected but a little worse. I didn't think he was going to try to pull pranks into murders though. It could of been so much better if it went slasher route. It was a wannabe be Black Book and just fell flat. As I said 3 for the Jester.

To Catch a Killer (2023)

Average

[5/10 · 20 May 2023]

The ending of this movie was such a letdown. Ever heard of the element of surprise? Not here...This was such a decent film for the first half. Then it became kind of obvious who it was and the acting got kind of cheesy. It is the kind of film you watch only once and don't remember it later. I found it hard to digest that a guy who killed 29 people and the main actress could relate because of feeling so lost,angry,etc. If you like crime mysteries I am sure you will have to check it out if your like me at all. Although just don't expect an intense chase or thriller. I checked this off the watch list and let's see what else is out there.

The Price We Pay (2022)

Not worth it

[1/10 · 5 April 2023]

600 characters? This film doesn't deserve that many words. I have attempted to make it through this garbage movie a couple times and failed. I don't see anything good at all here. Towards the end it just gets gross and more strange. I wouldn't recommend unless you really love the actors or something. I thought this was a huge miss. It didn't make sense. It was slow. As all the other reviewers stated it is nothing new. So add if all up and it isn't a good flick. Too many other better movies out there to watch. I would rather watch "Smile" again as it is at least well done. There isn't much else to say.

Exit 0 (2019)

As usual dumb ending

[5/10 · 30 March 2023]

The film was slow most the way but still intriguing. Then when you get to the end nothing is explained. So it feels like then why did I just invest in this? It will have you scratching your head...and for that I can't rate it any higher. It seemed to pull pieces from other films and just didn't know which direction it was gonna go. I have seen much better. I have seen much worse. I felt the male lead did fairly well for what he had. Everyone else I didn't really but it. I get to scratch this one off the watchlist. Though I probably won't be going back for a second helping. At least not anytime soon anyway. C-

Unseen (I) (2023)

Manages to build tension

[6/10 · 28 March 2023]

I thought this was a good effort and resulted a little better than most recent films. Although that might not be saying much. The points of this film and what they are trying to reach only work, if all the contrivances come together routinely. Of course they do, so this makes the film in parts not feel natural or real. For instance, how she is a ER Dr. So young and of course explains this away. It manages to build some tension in some parts is the best I can say about it. The guy of course comes back to life like Michael Meyers one more time. These kind of things bring the film down for me. They also take away some tension and believability. The end was just silly. The acting felt too forced. I don't know what to think. Worth a look if you are bored.

The Forever Purge (2021)

Too Political

[1/10 · 27 March 2023]

I agree with all of the reviewers stating that they are pushing a liberal agenda down the throats of movie goers. On top of that it is very liberal and also stereotyping and pushing racism weather the filmmakers care or not. I would give this movie 3 stars, but for all the 7's and higher it deserves my 1 star. I was suprised to see Will Patton in this. They should of ended this series a while back. The only thing this had is a few action sequences. Also as others mentioned that makes it an action film not horror. I watched this when it came out and again now and it still is bad to me. I think it takes the cake for worst in the ongoing franchise. Yes even more than The First Purge did.

Champions (2023)

Decent Film

[5/10 · 21 March 2023]

We have seen these kind of films before. I thought it was interesting and worth a look. I however was kind of annoyed with the unnecessary fling slash relationship with the woman. I felt like it took away from the heartwarming nature of the film. I take 2 stars off for her scenes. The parts of the film I did like was when he was learning about the team. I thought he was gonna be more frustrated with the squad at the beginning. He seemed to connect with all but the one guy early on. I also thought that was kind of a good little thing to have the audience wonder about. I thought it must be a pretty good reason he doesn't wanna play for the coach. It added a mystery element to the movie.

Cocaine Bear (2023)

They don't have pay phones anymore

[4/10 · 14 March 2023]

I knew there was a reason I didn't go to the theatre for this one. I am so bored and not even halfway through. The acting is forced. The laughs if any are forced. I haven't laughed once. I chuckled about the smart mouthed kids. It takes too long to get going like others have stated. I don't get what is funny so far. It is plaged by mediocrity. I don't have much more words to say about this film. They could have done way better. With lines like "Did you feed it cocaine" he says to the kid. I just couldn't seem to find humor in it. This is someone who kind find humor in the most of mundane things. I would rather watch any Mr. Bean episode because I would genuinely laugh and way more. If you like really really dumb dialogue, a flat story with almost no thrills and bad acting give this a chance!

The Abandoned (2015)

Slow but atmospheric

[5/10 · 2 March 2023]

I guess it all depends on what your looking for in a horror film. It is pretty slow. The main actress not the best. It is a spooky atmosphere though. If you are not looking for something to serious and like a slow burn. This might be worth a look. I would have gave it better, but the ending. There is something about the film that I like. Although not really sure because it is kind of boring. I thought a few parts were clever like the old man. The rest was pretty by the numbers. Jumpscare here or there. It needed some more story somewhere but if it were any longer it would take away even more from the film. I score it in the middle a 5.

The Stepmother 2 (2022)

This is actually surprisingly pretty good!

[7/10 · 15 February 2023]

This movie took me by suprise. It isn't overhyped over done or the most important to me; or too far fetched. This all could really happen. I'm not saying 100% real on every single thing, but I like that it isn't asking us to believe in martians flying then some stupid superficial twist. It has a pretty decent premise/plot and sticks to the story. Another thing that most films can't do. They try to weave too much together. This is just a story of a pyscho woman who escapes and is as they say in the film like a female Bundy. I don't know but it did hold my attention and better than most recent films. Check it out!

Girl in the Basement (2021)

Holds your attention

[5/10 · 13 February 2023]

It did keep me interested I will give it that. Now beside that there was some lame acting in parts. It was pretty vile, based on true events. Like a car crash you can't look away. Though as stated by another reviewer, not sure if I feel worse or better. It does kind of leave a gross feeling. Also of course the finale was by far underwhelming. We all wanted more justice or some vigilantism, but what could they really do to him beside lock him up? Anyways it was a little better to me than a lifetime film so I give it a 5. This was a tough watch in some parts, but still worth a look if you can stomach it.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

It's a Sham!

[3/10 · 12 February 2023]

Well Mr. Sham didn't sham me this time. I watched this clunker from home. As the last decade, he still can't direct a decent film. The only plus is the old 90's camera lense they used. Other than that this movie is a bunch of people talking. I have been duped too many times going to his movies hoping for not a magnum opus, but my goodness something decent. Of course not! What we get again is crappy dialogue and no action. Wow, how exciting. I used to look forward to his films. Now I just cringe knowing what's to come. Hollywood is dead. I haven't seen anything good besides Smile or Barbarian in last few years.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

There is a reason I kept putting off this lovie

[1/10 · 6 February 2023]

Oh yeah maybe because this movie is off-putting? To put it extremely lightly. This movie is horrendous! As others said not one likeable character. Terrible acting like completly out there. Every scene is jumbled. Nothing feels authentic. The forced sexual stuff is over the top in your face. All this and still it's cardinal sin is it is really BORING! I wish I would of just kept not watching this atrocity. Haha. I can't think of enough words to describe this dumb movie. I couldn't think of one positive thing to say. The gaslight line is so dumb. I hate every line in the film. The colors in the film are trash. The people are trash. The script is trash. The film is pure trash. The end.

Surviving the Game (1994)

Oh common it's cheesy fun

[7/10 · 5 February 2023]

This is another 90's b flick I suprisingly like. I get why people might not. For the rest of us, just let us enjoy the cheesy flick? It does what it intends to does it fairly well. Nobody said it was suppose to be your Citizen Kane, but at the same time it manages to entertain. Ice-T I feel does a good job as well as all the actors. I thought it had good scenery. The dialogue was obviously the weakest part of the film. If you can ignore some of those cheesy bits than you will enjoy it . If you look at it for what it is and not suppose to be based on real life than you should see it had some good action and premise. I gave it an extra star for a few reviewers rating it so low. Ridiculous it as at least a solid 6 min. Thanks.

Plane (2023)

Too unrealistic

[4/10 · 4 February 2023]

This movie I thought would be outstanding based on all the positive reviews. Not so much. When you have to suspend disbelief so many times that you just want to give up, it's not gonna be the best film. I think Rocky getting hit a million and one times was more believable than this. It's not that it is a terrible film. I just didn't find it that engaging. Then adding how all of it is beyond a stretch makes this full length film sub-par at best. If you are a Butler fan you maybe able to overlook some or all but for the rest of us it's too much. I would say C- or D. I do not see any 90's era or reflection in any shape or form to the reviewer who said that. It is worth a look if your bored out of your gord otherwise you might try elsewhere.

Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)

This is headache inducing

[1/10 · 22 January 2023]

I might as well be watching a bunch of heyeena's rip apart a dead animal or something as it would be what this movie is not. I literally hope I never meet whoever thought this movie was good. I mean is there any likeable character? I think not. I don't get it. It isn't scary. It isn't tense. It isn't thought provoking. It really isn't much of anything. This isn't the first time I have tried watching these stupid movies either. It is so boring, irritating, non-engrossing, flat, dull, bad acting. It is amazing this movie got released. There is a sucker born every minute. The joke is on you. Booooooo! This movie sucks and literally gave me a headache!

There's Something Wrong with the Children (2023)

It starts off interesting

[3/10 · 22 January 2023]

Then as usual the movie fizzles out. It seems like it doesn't quite know what to go for by the end. It is too slow to get there. It isn't scary. The acting is horrendous. It only gets worse longer the runtime. If you enjoy really slow supposed "thrillers" then you will be waiting for about an hour before anything really starts to happen. The only thing it had going to me is the anticipation for an explanation. Then again is it really worth the wait? As others have stated.... It is one you will easily forget. It tries to be clever by switching the viewpoint several times. It is like hmm okay seen it all done 1k times over and done better.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

I hate this film

[1/10 · 15 January 2023]

It is so boring and I have never understood the hype. I am in the minority I guess as with the other reviewers. I wanted to believe there was more to this and I am just maybe missing something. Well the answer is no, it just aims towards very emotionally driven people who follow the majority. What is to like about the film? The only thing is the camera angles maybe. Otherwise I just don't get it. The personalities didn't work for me. This was like eating a birthday cake and puking back up right after. It wasn't any next level hoorah. Go see a David Finch film instead. I agree that Carrey did not do well in this.

Let's Be Cops (2014)

Mediocre ...

[5/10 · 14 January 2023]

It started off funny than quickly fizzles out. It left me bored and felt the comedy started feeling force the longer the runtime. As other people have stated it sounds like an idea for a ten minute sketch or something rather than a full lengthed film. I think the actors did okay enough, but maybe it was the script. Either way, I have seen worse and of course way funnier, so for me this one lands right in the middle. I don't think it is even close to deserve a 9 or 10 nor does it deserve a 1 or 2 star rating. Check it out if you are bored and haven't seen it if you like dumb comedies. Otherwise it might not be something you find funny or entertaining.

A Perfect Getaway (2009)

This movie is so boring to me

[10/10 · 8 January 2023]

I just don't think anything about this film is convincing or exciting. I just get bored and go to my phone. It makes no sense when they say obvious things to turn the spotlight away from themselves, so much so as to making stuff up. If you like long drawn out make-belief fairy tales than this is right up your alley. If however you want realism, search elsewhere. This movie just I have watched twice and still feel the same both viewings. I hopefully will remember now to remember for next time how insanely far-fetched this film is. I really do not get the high ratings. This is someone who normally likes Steve Zahn. Lol.