guitarkelly Reviews

The Nun II (2023)

Best Horror Movie of 2023

[8/10 · 10 September 2023]

If you liked The Nun you will like this. This film has no sarcasm, stupidity, or fake jump scares. Totally serious evil horror, which was what I was hoping for. The acting was great, the atmosphere and story was good, and it was very creepy (with one really good scare). The pacing was great for a two hour film. Compared to The Conjuring, which I give a 10 star rating, this film is an 8 star rating.

I believe this is the best horror film of 2023 thus far. Evil Dead was just old ideas rehashed with a lesser cast. The Demeter had some of the worse CGI effects I've seenin recent times. Insidious 3 was slow and lack scares. The Popes Exorcist could have been great but it was cliche and predictable. The Exorcist IV has yet to come out so this is the best horror film so far.

The Babadook (2014)

Good, But Not Great Or Creepy

[5/10 · 1 December 2014]

Good movie, well acted and directed. Not creepy or scary at all. The monster doesn't appear until the 48 minute mark and it is a brief encounter.

More drama than horror, the viewer keeps waiting for the horror and when it comes it is too quick. The reviews were awesome and I expected to witness the creepiness but was let down greatly. Beware of reviews from interns and employees from media companies (I used to write great reviews for a major media company without seeing or hearing the product!).

If you love true horror (The Exorcist, Suspiria, Nosferatu, Howling, Dead Alive, Paranormal Activity 1-3, The Conjuring) this will be a great let down. Hopefully my review won't be buried on page 10, all the 9 to 10 star reviews are just straight up lies.

Mother of Tears (2007)

Disappointing dead space...

[4/10 · 10 June 2008]

Just got back from the Boston screening and I still feel empty and unsatisfied. The movie started out good with some super-gore, an evil monkey and some witchcraft. Then it slows down and assaults the viewer with endless scenes of nothingness, nonsense, confusion, bad acting, repetitive, and pointless scenes. There must be at least 30 minutes of scenes that should have been cut out in the editing room. There is also no lighting, scenery, or camera-work that stands out like Dario's early work.

Spoiler alert; The Mother of Tears is indeed the most cruel and beautiful of the Three Mothers, and she also spent a hefty dime on top-notch breast enhancement plastic surgery! It is an insult casting some hot boob-job bimbo with a shaved clam as the mother. I would have cast a Salma Hayek/Penelope Cruz-type. And the ending was a joke, the most powerful witch of all 3 mothers was killed with almost no effort from Asia at all. It was like stepping on an ant, by mistake! It just seems that there are too many small details overlooked like the prior mentioned.

I loved Deep Red, Suspiria, Inferno, and Phenomena. This was amateur in comparison, and I watched it with a open mind. I do appreciate Dario's contribution to the art world, but like any world-class athlete he is past his prime. I didn't expect a masterpiece, and this sure wasn't.

The Woman in Black (1989 TV Movie)

Good movie, but not the least bit scary...

[5/10 · 27 January 2008]

Good plot, good acting, and good direction. It is just not scary or creepy at all, despite the reviews posted earlier. There is dense fog, the wailing of a drowning family, and a ghost. All three are well executed but fall short of any true scares.

This is a TV movie made for family viewing on BBC and American PBS (not that there's anything wrong with that!) but it is no scarier than the old Dr. Who. The ghost is woman with pale skin and dark make-up around her eyes that looks just like how my mom applied dark make-up on my eyes to look like Dracula or a ghoul on Halloween. I was very let down by this oversight. The ending was good, but much more sad than scary.

If you like ghostly scares watch The Changeling, The Amityville Horror (1979), Curse of the Crying Woman, The Eye (original), Fair haired Child, The Fog (original), 1408, Ghost of Mae Nak, The Grudge 1&2, House on Haunted Hill(original), The Innocents, Nang Nak, One Missed Call, The Others, Poltergiest 1&2, Reincarnation, The Ring, Ringu 1,2 & 0, The Sentinel, The Shining, Shutter, Silk, 13 Ghosts, and The Uninvited.

The Burning Moon (1992)

Good gore, bad movie...

[2/10 · 4 November 2006]

I rented this because of the hell sequence. This infamous scene was filmed in a basement or an abandoned school! Why comments don't say this is bull. I did not know hell was made of white concrete walls and shower stalls, yes shower stalls! Ittenbach plays the lead role, and is dressed like he's in a Winger video. There is a gang fight with fake punching, and kicking. Dialog that make no sense, bad lighting.

It appears that Olaf even used a blank Wal-Mart VHS cassette to record on instead of spending the extra 2 dollars for a TDK VHS tape Good gore in last 10 minutes, that is it. Bad acting and shot on video.

Stick to good gore like Alexander Aja, Savini, or the Italian masters.

Burning moon should be burned.