Change Your Image
sydneylowe
Reviews
Intern Academy (2004)
So awful seeing it for free was too much...
I had the "privilege" of screening this movie. The reaction from the audience should have told the producers everything they needed to know. The gags in the movie didn't even warrant a good-natured groan. We weren't allowed to leave before the end of the movie and had to fill out a mandatory questionnaire at the end. I recommended that the movie never be released it was so horribly unfunny and plot less. Oh well...
The jokes were so obvious, the audience could see the set up coming from a mile away, and there wasn't even a giggle when the gag was delivered. The entire movie was a series of non- plot, non-essential scenes that didn't even string together to create any kind of statement or point. I love senseless comedy, but I couldn't managed to even like this movie.
Incubus (2006)
The only thing looser than the plot is the reputation of the actors in it.
I usually love watching bad horror movies. They're fun. This movie was an exception. The characters were so poorly acted and their motivations so completely irrational that I was hoping this was a short film and they'd all die quickly. And the plot! Swiss cheese has less holes.
Here's what I hated the most. I apologize the list is so short...
Why did the entire gang enter through the roof? Why wouldn't 1 or 2 of them descend through the vent, then try the front door to let their friends in? Why did they assume they wouldn't be able to open them from the inside?
When Jay and Josh are both looking for each in the hallways, screaming each other's names, why don't they answer? Jay couldn't have gone more than a few hundred feet before Josh went after her.
Lucky break finding that key in the scientist's mouth. If Josh couldn't tell what was in her mouth, why did he insist on digging in there?
In the basement, when Josh is trying to find the breaker switch, Holly senses there is someone down there with them. "Oh, don't worry about that, Josh, just find the breaker. The lights are sooo much more important than your life."
When the gang discovers the Incubus, Josh immediately recognizes him as a child killer. How? This takes place years later after his conviction and his faked death so the government could experiment on him. How could anyone make that connection?
"Hey, we're really scared because of the dead bodies everywhere and the psycho killer locked in the basement. I know, why don't we split up while Peter's trying to open the vent?
When Peter discovers the airvent with the vertical shaft to lead to the roof, everyone's happy. In the very next scene, the characters are shown going upstairs. Wouldn't the vent be easier to access on a higher floor and make it less of a climb to the roof?
No one was around when Peter fell asleep and became host to the Incubus. How could Jay, Bug, and Holly reach their conclusion that Peter was possessed during his sleep? Jay had no basis to warn Bug not to fall asleep because the same thing would happen to him.
"Oh no, Peter's gone crazy. Where can we feel safe? I know, in the glass room with the creepy coma guy. Quick, everyone inside."
Jay spends 5 minutes reading a "random" file about the Incubus and suddenly has ALL the answers. Oh yeah, she's a medical student. They must cover inhumane experiments involving child psychopaths and REM sleep in first year. Ditto with the first VHS tape she finds. Lucky pick, Jay.
"Oh, my brother's dead and I'm devastated. The only thing that will help me now is telling Holly about my out of body experiences as a kid, which has nothing to do with the plot, other than a cheap attempt to explain what could be happening."
Jay is a medical student? When was this ever revealed in the movie? And of all the people to play one, Tara Reid? Come on...
The Incubus was very articulate considering he had no tongue, and my, so incredibly agile even though he was in a sitting position for years. Thank god his muscles didn't atrophy.
"Oh no, the psycho Incubus is free, can talk, and walk around without handicap. I better waste time tying this vice to a rope and just hope it somehow hooks onto something on the roof." How did the rope get long enough to do this? It snapped when Peter was using it, leaving it short, which is why they were trapped in the first place.
Jay kills the Incubus in seconds with rope that's not even wrapped around his neck. She just pins it down over his neck on both sides and he suffocates in seconds.
Why did the police officer immediately arrest Jay at the end of the movie without seeing if she needed medical attention? Or asking her to explain what happened? And why did Jay just put her hands behind her back so complacently? (Tara, you're acting; this isn't real life.)