tomdaly-17436 Reviews

Teen Mom OG (2009– )

What message does this send out to teenage girls?

[1/10 · 21 October 2019]

Now, call this a case of the pot calling the kettle black, because reality shows are aimed toward my demographic. Some I watch out of curiosity, like Love Island, others I am just baffled and avoid like the plague.

The basic premise of this show is that it revolves around a bunch of shallow teenage girls who ended up getting pregnant and becoming celebrities. That's it. Honestly, how this show even got to air is absolutely beyond me. You hear stories that reality shows promote bad messages to young people and you see them struggling with mental health and body image. What message is this sending out: "Girls, if you want to REALLY become famous, get pregnant by a scumbag and you'll be golden!" Yeah, that's the way to do it. Much to the detriment of your social life and education.

And what will happen to them when their five minutes of unwarranted fame are over and their boyfriend runs off with the next floozy he comes across? You know, the one he met behind the KFC that closed down due to food poisoning.

And I doubt these girls are good role models to their children. I bet they just parade them around like those dogs in handbags before dumping them on their smackhead parents and going off to party with their shallow mates.

In short, this show must be immediately cancelled and consigned to the history books.

CelebAbility (2017–2023)

How many shows like this do we REALLY need?

[1/10 · 24 July 2019]

It seems that nowadays, that TV shows have to have celebrities on it doing stuff. Be it dancing (Strictly), cooking (Masterchef) or being dumped in the jungle to munch on crocodile privates (I'm A Celebrity). This is no exception.

So, here's the point of this show. It's hosted by Iain Stirling (voice of Love Island), so, good start. And the concept itself, is interesting; finding the hidden talents of "celebrities" (I say that, most of them aren't exactly the same calibre as Beyonce or Tom Cruise), which again sounds like an interesting concept; however, it's a good concept with bad execution.

The celebrities have to take part in these mad challenges, hosted by comedian Marek Lorwood, quite possibly one of the most annoying people I have seen on television; he has this bloodcurdling, lispy voice and-pardon me for sounding offensive-dresses up like a Down's Syndrome schoolboy.

The basic point of this; it's just one of a slew of game shows that feature fifth-rate celebrities doing stuff. I don;t think this idea needs to be retired, but here's what an open letter to television would start like: Stop overdosing on Z-listers on TV and think of something original!

Celebs on the Farm (2018–2021)

Yet Another Pointless Show With Third-Rate Celebrities

[1/10 · 21 July 2019]

Was this show really warranted? It just goes to prove how LAZY television has gotten, when they get a bunch of "celebrities" (I say that, they're hardly of the same calibre as Tom Cruise or Katy Perry) to do stuff on TV, like dancing or cooking or being dumped in the jungle to munch down on kangaroo gonads. But this, this is on a whole different level.

So, the premise of the show is this. Get a bunch of B-grade celebrities and make them work on a farm for like a few weeks. And that's it. Honestly, it makes the equally terrible show Flockstars look like quality TV!

Like I mentioned above, the go-to show for TV these days seems to be those which involve making quasi-celebrities do stuff. However, this format is finite and there's only so many things you can do with it, before you start to run out of ideas. What next, celebrities sitting on the toilet?

Hey Tracey! (2019–2020)

Hey Tracey, can you please get cancelled?

[1/10 · 17 June 2019]

So, imagine that ITV have hired two uni students to put shows on over the summer while the boss is in Saint Lucia. They go into a bucket marked "Do NOT Put These Shows On Under Any Circumstances Because They're CRAP!" and stick this on while they go off to the Bull's Head with their mates.

Honestly, how this TRAVESTY of a game show was put on our screens is beyond me. So anyway, here's what happens, Joel Dommett hosts this show and he has two teams of "celebrities" (I say celebrities, it's not like they could hire Hugh Jackman or Beyonce), to win money for two members of the public. They get help from Tracey, who's this virtual assistant-kind of like a budget Alexa- who resembles a foul-mouthed Northern lady, who was put together by some sixth form students as part of their computing course (sixth form students are probably the ones who greenlit this tosh), and she can call people in the real world to help the celebs answer questions.

This show is basically bottom of the barrel TV. I seriously hope it gets axed after its first episode. I was in sixth-form not to long ago, and I could commission a better game show. Heck, a CHIMP could commission a better game show!

The Inbetweeners (2012)

Oh, sweet Jesus...

[1/10 · 13 June 2019]

How on this EARTH did this show get made? This is the problem with adapting British sitcoms for American audiences; for every one that succeeds-like the Office-there are flops such as this.

The British Inbetweeners succeeded because it felt real, the characters felt like real high school students and the setting felt real. Here, the four boys are just warped unrecognisable versions of themselves! Will is too handsome and uptight, Neil, who's nice but a bit daft, is turned into some brain-dead stoner, and sex pest Jay is basically a dollar store Seth Rogen!

Everything looks like it was shot at magic hour, and there's this annoying muzak that pulsates through the background. Yeah, they used music in the British version but they used it at appropriate moments and sparingly!

Worst of all, because of the American broadcasting laws, the swearing and sex references had to be toned down, which neutered the series.

All in all, I'm happy that this American travesty was cancelled! You know what they say, if it ain't broke don't fix it!

I'll Get This (2018–2020)

Who thought this was a good idea?

[1/10 · 17 March 2019]

My god! They really will put anything on TV these days! Whoever thought that this would be a hit, I pray that they are no longer working in the TV industry.

The idea itself, a bunch of snobby, smug z-list celebrities going for a meal and seeing who will pay the bill, is the laziest idea I have ever heard, and this is definitive proof that the execs over at the BBC have really scraped the bottom of the barrel.

Mr. Meaty (2005–2009)

What the actual...hell?

[5 December 2018]

Uhhh...who decided it was a good idea to put this on television? It's kind of hypocritical of me to write this because I saw little bits of it when I was a kid, and thought it was OK, but looking back, it just looks horrendous!

So, here's what happens: two lazy teenage boys work at a burger bar. That's it. OMG, was this plot written on the back of a postage stamp or something? Secondly, the characters are just ugly! They look misshapen Muppet rejects and are enough to give you nightmares for weeks!

I used to watch Sesame Street when I was little, and those puppets were good! This show, I can only assume it was aimed at teenagers. But what nihilistic teenager gets out of bed, turns off his Linkin Park and says, "Hey, Chris! I'm gonna need a rain check. That creepy Muppets/David Lynch show is on!"

In short, no words can fathom my horror towards this show. How it got conceived is beyond me. Avoid like the plague!

The Time It Takes (2018– )

Umm...how did this get to TV?

[25 November 2018]

OK, I saw a couple of episodes of this, and I thought to myself, "Dear god, BBC have really run out of ideas!" I mean, the show is basically just Generation Game on acid!

The series, hosted by Joe Lycett, probably the most aggravating person in the HISTORY of television, and Alison Hammond. You get three contestants who have to complete this challenges and answer questions in an allotted amount of time, and the final contestant through has to answer questions against the timer for a prize. Honestly, some of the challenges are just degrading and downright bizarre!

To round this off, many people will be wonder how the BBC managed to conceive this and how Alison Hammond got roped into this and having that human haemorrhoid Joe Lycett hosting! Honestly, the man makes Giles Coren look like Chris Tarrant!

Loonatics Unleashed (2005–2007)

Not bad...but not good either

[2/10 · 14 November 2018]

I'm gonna sound hypocritical because I liked watching the show when I was a kid, but looking back on it now, I think, what the hell did they do to the Looney Tunes?

Straight off the bat, you know something's wrong when they updated the character's designs. It's like the people who pitched the show thought, "You know, lets make the Bugs Bunny and his friends look bad-ass!" The colours and accents are sickly to look at, even at the best of times.

Secondly, the characters' personalities are far too close to that of their original predecessors, in particular Ace. Meanwhile, Lexi is basically a sexed-up version of Lola Bunny, like seriously?

Now the plot seems far too much like the lovechild of Looney Tunes and Power Rangers, in that they feature teenagers battling aliens and enemies. Now this isn't the first time that they put Looney Tunes in space; they did it with Space Jam and Duck Dodgers, but come on!

To round this off, I hope that the people over at Warner Bros never decide to make dark and gritty reboots of classic cartoons. What next, a gangsta version of Tom and Jerry? Scooby Doo with elements of the X-Files and True Blood?

Coming of Age (2007–2011)

Crude and gross, how did this get made?

[1/10 · 29 October 2018]

OK, BBC 3 is aimed at young people so its programming isn't exactly at the level of Morecambe and Wise, but come on! This is just low even by BBC 3 standards.

So the show is set at a college, and literally every last creative juice was squeezed into jokes about sex. That's it. Now, the Inbetweeners wasn't that dissimilar in plot. But, what this series lacks is wit.

The series was aimed at 19 year olds, who are BBC 3's primary demographic, and the show's creator was nineteen years old when he created it, but the humour is so infantile you'd think he was about seven. On another note, it's like the people behind this series have only heard of college students in myths and story books, and create an unrealistic view of its subject, unlike the aforementioned Inbetweeners, which was at least real when it dealt with its subject. Its audience were probably 12 years old and watching it when they should have been in bed!

The characters are also aggravating, especially the character of DK, who thinks he can rap. Honestly, I couldn't see him wrapping packages at Christmas!

Great Canal Journeys (2014– )

Poignant

[8/10 · 26 September 2018]

I'm going to sound ancient, but here me out. This show is so much more than a travelogue. It's a documentation on how a couple who've been together for over 50 years are still going strong. Compare that to most couples today who split up. It's also a release from watching copious amounts of sex, swearing and violence, as well as D-list celebrities in the jungle munching down on kangaroo privates or gangs of orange, fake-tanned morons who can barely count past two.

Fanboy & Chum Chum (2009–2014)

Absolute dreck!

[1/10 · 24 September 2018]

OMG! How something like this gets conceived is absolutely beyond my comprehension! This is odd, because Nickelodeon produced some absolute gems of cartoons, such as Avatar: The Last Airbender, Rugrats, Wild Thornberrys, etc. But then, this happened.

Straight off the bat, the characters: the two main characters are just aggravating. They run around in superhero costumes-which is all they ever wear, even to go to bed-and act absolutely deranged.

Secondly, Animation: The colours are all over the place, and the characters look absolutely horrendous! They look like something you'd see in some 50s horror film.

The humour: About 90% of the jokes are associated with farts, and poo, and toilets. That's it.

Lastly, the theme tune: It goes on for less than a minute, but let me tell you, it's 55 seconds too much. Lyrics about screaming about the top of your lungs and your underwear, before divulging into random, "bababababa" noises, is enough to make your eardrums bleed.

Those defending this blight of a cartoon use the oldest trick in the book: "It's for kids." Yeah, there were kids shows which entertained their audience and some dealt with real-world issues and themes without having to be preachy, for example Teen Titans. All this show does is pander to its target demographic, while also being gross! Avoid like the plague.

Celebrity 5 Go Motorhoming (2017– )

Dull. Dull. Dull

[1/10 · 5 September 2018]

Was this series REALLY needed? Oh my god, they really will put anything on television won't they? I mean, how many more shows do we need featuring washed-up celebs and moronic nonentities on holiday? It's so unremittingly BLAND, I bet people would rather look at a wall for an hour. Heck, they might as well just have a game show where a gang of has-beens paint a wall, and we have to watch it dry for half an hour while someone commentates.

Fred 3: Camp Fred (2012 TV Movie)

Why was this dreck even made?

[1/10 · 15 August 2018]

You'd think after two Fred movies and a sitcom, Nickelodeon would cool it a little bit with Lucas Cruickshank's screaming teenage character. But no! We get this monstrosity! Basically Fred goes to this summer camp that's struggling. That's it. I swear, every time you watch Fred run around and listen to his aggravating voice, you wish for Jason from Friday the 13th to jump out of the TV and finish you off already! Thank god that this was the last movie in the Fred trilogy, and Lucas eventually retired Fred for good.

Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (2017 Video)

Pure imagination-or lack thereof, more like it!

[10 July 2018]

My goodness! Who in their right mind thought this film was a good idea? I mean, I LOVED Tom and Jerry when I was little, and when I read about them doing crossovers with other franchises, I thought, ''This looks...interesting" But at the same time, I thought, what exactly is the need to do this?

Whoever thought it was a good idea to shoehorn these two TITANS of cartoon history into a classic film like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, I pray that they are no longer working in animation. I mean, that I Want It Now song, it looked like a kid's version of Another Brick in the Wall!

Also the fact that the film was released shortly after most of the cast of Willy Wonka died comes across as a little bit INSENSITIVE.

In conclusion, no words can describe this piece of animated offal. In short, avoid like the plague!

Celebrity Carry on Barging (2017– )

Like watching paint dry

[1/10 · 8 July 2018]

Oh my god. This show is just...T-E-D-I-O-U-S. How many shows do we REALLY need starring has-been celebs going on their jolly hols?

How is this even appealing? I bet its target demographic is over-60s before the watershed, who'd probably be the ONLY people on this earth who'd like it. It's basically just Top Gear for your grandparents, just take away the testosterone, fast cars, rock soundtrack, action and the blokes in RIDICULOUSLY skin-tight jeans.

Bizaardvark (2016–2019)

This is Disney's death knell

[1/10 · 8 July 2018]

Oh my god. Just when I thought Disney Channel could not sink any lower. This TRAIN WRECK of a show is one of several GOD-AWFUL sitcoms aimed at teens and tweens. I know shows like this have an audience in mind, but this show is just pandering to its target demographics! The show itself is like a rip-off of iCarly, in which two girls-who just so happen to be best friends-run their own video sharing website. Yeah. REALLY original, Disney. I bet you got rid of originality, like you got rid of all the good shows like That's So Raven and The Suite Life! I could go on, but I'll end on this. Bizaardvark is so DREADFUL it makes a Nickelodeon show starring a certain screaming Youtuber look like high art!

The Last Airbender (2010)

Dear god! So much potential, wasted

[1/10 · 21 June 2018]

Did M. Night Shyamalan pay any semblance of attention to this series when he decided to make it into a movie? No. way.

Right off the bat, the casting was dreadful. The race of the characters are the following: Water Tribe was Indigenous American/Inuit, Fire Nation was Japanese, Earth Kingdom was Chinese and Air Nomads were Tibetans. Here, most of the cast was white and any Asian actors were restricted to background roles!

Secondly, the tone. The characters had about as much personality as a piece of cardboard, and there was no humour. Sokka was supposed to be the joker of the group, and here he was pretty much like Hayden Christensen in the Star Wars prequels. Aang was this fun-loving innocent kid, Katara was a brave, motherly character. Honestly, I think I've seen more personality in a piece of wood.

Thirdly, the fact that character's names were pronounced wrong. Ong? Sohka? Ee-roh? Ovatar? You know your movie's in trouble when you can't even do that right!

M. Night Shyamalan claimed he watched the show with his children, which inspired him to make the film. Yeah. Bet he only watched like thirty seconds of it. And he also had the CHEEK to claim that more films were in the pipeline and they'd be culturally diverse. Oh, yeah, how those hopes of his were nixed!

To round this off, don't watch this train-wreck and watch the show instead!

Marvin Marvin (2012–2013)

Dear god, who the f--- commissioned this?

[1/10 · 12 June 2018]

Oh my god, this show is one of the most embarrassing blemishes on Nickelodeon, right next to Breadwinners, Fred the Show and the Thundermans! The fact that it even got past pitching is beyond me!

First of all, the plot. It's about an alien who lands on earth to live with a human family? Sound familiar? Oh yeah, it basically rips off Mork and Mindy, but updated it for teens in the 21st century.

Second of all, guess who they chose to play Marvin, of all people? They chose Lucas Cruikshank, the same person who gave the world that shrieking monstrosity Fred Figglehorn! At least he isn't running around screaming his head off like a deranged toddler.

Honestly, why is it that Nickelodeon went and axed all its good quality shows like Rugrats, Victorious, Wild Thornberrys and Avatar: The Last Airbender, and commissioned s**t like this. The characters in this monstrosity of a show have about as much depth as a toddler's paddling pool, the humour is just intended to make you sick and the message of being yourself gets undermined by the lame attempts at jokes.

Honestly, I think the world didn't feel like it lost much when Marvin Marvin was cancelled and Lucas left Nickelodeon. To quote the immortal words of Star Trek, "Beam me up, Scotty and take me away from this train wreck!"

Survival of the Fittest (2018)

Survival of the Fittest-Survival of the Thickest is more like it!

[1/10 · 3 June 2018]

When this show was first announced, I presume people were expecting something like Ninja Warrior or Gladiators. Oh, how tragically wrong they were! The show is basically like a cross between Survivor and Love Island!

When the show was promoted, it admittedly had promise, but when it aired, it was like that present you get at Christmas and you as "Can we get our money back?"

The people on it are just vacuous nonentities who are basically only on it for 15-minutes of fame. In short, you know there's something wrong when it makes Geordie Shore look intelligent. Why watch this dross when you can watch a gang of Z-list celebrities in the jungle eating crocodile balls?

Knight Squad (2018–2019)

What. the. hell?

[1/10 · 18 May 2018]

Oh my god. Even though I've never seen the show, reading the reviews, I don't think I have any intention to. Nickelodeon is just getting desperate. When will it ever produce a good sitcom like they did with iCarly and Drake and Josh and Victorious. This is the classic example of why Nickelodeon is in the dark ages of kids' TV.

To round it off, Nickelodeon needs to produce quality shows. Children need entertainment, not gimmicks!

High & Dry (2018)

Shipwreck

[1/10 · 7 May 2018]

Wow. The barrel has officially been scraped dry. You could not get anymore gimmicky if you tried.

I hope the person who conceived this got a P45 afterwards. The public needs shows that make us laugh and forget about the trouble and tragedy in the world. They don't need gimmicks! Either the TV execs are strapped for cash or they're desperate for ideas.

To round this review off, I hope Channel 4 sinks this terrible excuse of a sitcom and puts us out of our misery!

High & Dry (2018)

The barrel has officially been scraped dry

[1/10 · 6 May 2018]

This show had potential when it was previewed, But the product failed to deliver.

It's shocking that there's a lack of decent comedy around today, and this is a perfect example. The British people need real sitcoms, they DON'T need gimmicks! Whoever conceived this, I hope they were laid off soon after!

To round off this interview, this shipwreck of a sitcom needs to be sunk, because it makes Gilligan's Island look like Lost!

Change Your Tune (2018)

More like "Change that channel"!

[22 April 2018]

OMG! This train wreck of a TV show is a crime against music. Whoever conceived this, I hope they were given a pink slip afterwards! The people who take part in this can't sing for toffee! And after training for a few weeks (more like seconds), they come back and they've hardly improved!

As for the host, he is possibly the ugliest person I have ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on! He looks like he's got the hair of Philip Schofield and the teeth of Freddie Mercury.

To round it off, let's hope this show doesn't get commissioned for a second series, just to spare us all some misery.

Lost in Space (2018–2021)

Appropriately titled..let's hope it is

[3/10 · 22 April 2018]

OK. What can I say that hasn't been said before?

On paper, this show had potential. Rebooting the classic 60s sci-fi adventure for a new generation. The final product was at best a bit gloomy and at worst overly-PC and stripped of all the humour and campiness that made the original so beloved!

The mother clearly wears the pants in the relationship and she and her husband are always at their throats. The children come off as unlikable and the robot that says "Danger, Will Robinson" is now a sleek faceless automaton with about as much personality as a lecturer at Oxbridge.

In short, let's hope the show lives up to its title and is lost in space. Hpefully, forever.