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9/10
The Sweetest Movie of the Year
24 December 2006
It's hard to describe your experiences in a Tim Burton movie. They are odd, to say the least, and sometimes creepy. Sometimes they are colorful, and sometimes they're black. But they are always something special, and Burton doesn't let us down in his latest flick "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." It's a moving coloring book, with stunningly beautiful colors and creative sets and costumes. It just makes me sad that the real world isn't this rich.

The most common misconception about the movie is that it is a remake of the timeless "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." It's not. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory isn't a remake, but rather another adaptation of the classic children's story of the same title. Keeping true to the book, screenwriter John August mixes quirky humor and creepy tempo to concoct one of the year's best movies.

"Charlie" is a story of an ordinary little boy named Charlie Bucket (Freddie Highmore). He was not faster, or stronger, or more clever than other children. His family was not rich or powerful or well-connected; in fact, they barely had enough to eat. But Charlie was the luckiest boy in the whole world, he just didn't know it yet.

Charlie lives with his family; his two parents and his four grandparents. His grandparents: Joe, Josephine, George, and Georgina, never leave their bed, and Georgina is a little out of it, to say the least. Charlie sleeps next to a hole in the wall, which can be quite cold in winter, but he doesn't care, because the hole allows him to look at the greatest chocolate factory in the world, the one belonging to Willy Wonka.

After some fifteen years, Willy Wonka decides to open his factory gates…for five lucky people. He places five golden tickets in five ordinary Wonka bars, the finders of which win a tour through his amazing factory. As people around the world frantically buy Wonka bars in search of the tickets, they are slowly found, one here, one there. Charlie desperately wants to go to the factory, but he only gets one bar of chocolate a year, on his birthday.

Johnny Depp gives one of the best performances of his career as the eccentric chocolate entrepreneur Willy Wonka. His exotic style and off-beat jokes almost mock Michael Jackson, but are original in its own. Depp leads an already all star cast including Helena Bonham Carter, Christopher Lee, and Deep Roy (who might as well be the star of the movie). Tim Burton directed it, and Danny Elfman created the score.

No one ever thought it, but Charlie has actually surpassed its predecessor. Burton has delivered another classic, putting it up there with Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas. But Charlie and the Chocolate Factory isn't just mere entertainment, it also teaches us something. It reinforces the age old themes "greed is not a virtue," and "curiosity killed the cat." But all virtues aside, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is definitely worth a viewing or two, and is by far the year's sweetest movie.
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The Ringer (2005)
6/10
The Most Politically Incorrect Movie of Our Time
23 December 2006
There are some things you need to know when watching "The Ringer." First off, it is the most politically incorrect movie you'll ever see. The movie makes fun of the mentally challenged and the Special Olympics as a whole. But it also is very sensitive to certain aspects, and doesn't cross the line from good fun into absolute evil; although it gets very close. Another thing, don't go into this movie expecting The Godfather, because you'll only be disappointed. And if you're a die hard South Park fan, you probably know what's coming. But on with the review.

Johnny Knoxville, known primarily for his role in the teenage cult classic Jackass movies, plays Steve Barker, a debt ridden worker in desperate need of some cash. His insolvent uncle (Brian Cox) is also in need of quick money, so he comes up with the "brilliant" idea of entering Steve in the Special Olympics. Steve hopes to defeat the six time champ Jimmy, in order to pay off his debts. It's an easy win, right? But he finds the road to success a little harder than he expected, and also finds love along the way.

This movie is so wrong I'm surprised it was made. What surprised me even more was that the Special Olympics gave their blessings to the makers of this film. But this movie was full of surprises. It shone a light on the Special Olympics, and shows you how hard these athletes work, and the obstacles they overcome. It does more good than bad for the Special Olympics, and from the look of the trailer, that's all you can ask from this movie.

Well, what did you expect going into this movie, Citizen Kane? The movie isn't very well written, it isn't well directed, and the acting isn't particularly good. But what the hell, it's a Johnny Knoxville movie. Just sit back and enjoy it, you're guaranteed to laugh a bit. I was taken aback at how funny a movie can be when you're not worried about society.
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9/10
Sometimes You Have to Be Lost to Be Found
10 December 2006
Lost in Translation is one of those movies that you walk out of and buy another ticket for the next showing. It is storytelling at its finest, with beautiful direction, an enchanting script, and a perfect cast. Writer/Director Sophia Coppola's magic story keeps you wanting more, even after the movie ends. The only thing more astonishing is that it is even better upon your second viewing.

In a part written directly for him, Bill Murray is flawless in the role of Bob Harris, a movie star going through his midlife crisis. But Murray doesn't just play Bob Harris, he is Bob Harris. He looks deep into the soul of Bob's character, and makes us forget about the Bill Murray we know him to be.

Scarlett Johansson, in her first major role in a motion picture, is absolutely fabulous. When you look into Scarlett's eyes, you can see the trouble she is experiencing with her husband John, and you can see her desire to be a free spirit once again.

Bob Harris (Murray), a movie star on the downside of his career, travels to Tokyo in order to film a commercial for a whisky company. He has a wife and children who are all dissatisfied with him, and he's dissatisfied with them, as he goes through his midlife crisis alone on the other side of the world.

Charlotte (Johansson), a recent philosophy graduate from Yale, moved out to Tokyo with her husband John (Giovanni Ribisi). John, a photographer, seems to spend more time working with starlets than with his wife, causing Charlotte to question not only her marriage with him but also her very existence, looking at a dark and cloudy future.

As if by chance or because of their dissatisfaction with their lives, Bob and Charlotte meet in the bar of their hotel. They are able to form a relationship with each other, despite the age barrier between them. When Charlotte's husband has to leave for the weekend, Bob is all she has. Their experiences over this weekend, alone, are what make Lost in Translation.

Lost in Translation may seem like your typical love story, set against an age gap separating two lovers. But it is so much more than that. It is a love story that was never meant to be. Fate is what brought these two together, and although short, their time together was unforgettable. Whether they are together in the end or not is irrelevant, because the time they shared together is all they needed.

Sophia Coppola will no longer live under her father's shadow. With a modest four million dollar budget and little experience she managed to make a masterpiece. Two lost souls manage to find happiness in a city foreign to themselves. Sometimes you have to be lost to be found.
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9/10
Beautifully Animated...Wonderful Story
10 December 2006
Lotte Reiniger's "The Adventures of Prince Achmed" is one of the most amazing achievements in the history of cinema. The first animated movie ever, Achmed was based on the ancient stories "Arabian Nights." It took her three whole years to make, shooting over 250,000 cardboard cutouts with the assistance of her husband Carl Koch.

The German silent film begins with the creation of a flying horse. The African Magician tricks Prince Achmed into flying the horse, hoping to rid the kingdom of Achmed's presence. But Achmed is able to control the horse, and flies off to an island, where he finds the beautiful princess Peri Banu. In order to win her heart he must defeat the Magician, the Chinese Emperor, and an army of demons, with the help of Aladdin and a mysterious witch.

The irony of this movie is that the German subtitles are subtitled in English. But don't let that throw you, this silent masterpiece is magnificent film-making at its best, and certainly a landmark in cinema.
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10/10
Brilliantly Original and Wonderfully Magical
11 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is the most well written movie since Pulp Fiction, and the best movie since the turn of the century. It's originality is unprecedented, putting screenwriter Charlie Kaufman (Adaptation) up there with the greats. And every time you watch it, you will gain a new understanding of the characters and story.

Just imagine, instead of dealing with the pain and suffering of your past, you can erase people and moments from your memory, and move on with your life, without giving it another thought. Imagine your bad relationships can disappear. You bad experiences obliterated. Your bad times gone. Dr. Howard Mierzwiak makes this all possible.

Meet Joel Barish (Carrey), an archetypal lost American, a passive soul wandering through his own life in a cloud of dissatisfaction. One day, his shyness and antisocial tendencies led him to meet the free spirit Clementine (Winslet), changing his life forever.

They break up, and Clementine impulsively decides to "erase" Joel from her memory. Joel, upon hearing this, also signs up for the procedure. But midway through, he changes his mind. Then the chase begins, as Joel and Clementine try to outrun the erasers, hiding in his childhood and humiliation.

Meanwhile, Kirsten Dunst, Elijah Wood, and Mark Ruffalo, the ones performing the procedure on Joel, have their own troubles with romance, memory erasure, and Clementine, all due to the procedure offered by Dr. Mierzwiak.

Although Carrey spends most of the movie in an induced coma, his outstanding performance proves to us that his talents go far beyond his Ace Ventura days. And Winslet's spectacular performance didn't go unnoticed either, earning her another Oscar nod.

To say the least, Eternal Sunshine will change your life. Kaufman shows us that you must take the good along with the bad, because if you forget, you are destined to repeat your mistakes. Joel doesn't realize he made a mistake until he gets past their bad moments, and remembers all the good times he and Clementine had together. This movie gives a new meaning to "You never know what you've got until it's gone."

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a brilliant work of originality. With all the crap Hollywood has been turning out in recent years, this will feel like a blast of fresh air. Kaufman's masterpiece is inspirational, and, unlike most Hollywood films, makes you think. It'll make you realize that at the end of the day, our memories are all we really have, and when they're gone, we're gone.
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3/10
visually dazzling but ultimately disappointing
28 September 2006
Brian De Palma's so called "film noir" has all the aspects of a great film: detectives, guns, murder, a beautiful blonde, an Oscar winning brunette, and a boxing match. It involves violence, money, pimps, porn, and "the most notorious murder in California history". Sadly though, the movie just doesn't cut it.

The Black Dahlia isn't about murder, or guns, or pimps or porn. The Black Dahlia is about the new American dream: to sleep with Scarlett Johansson. The Dahlia isn't even introduced until a third of the movie is over, the longest 45 minutes I've ever experienced in cinema. A good hour of the movie doesn't have anything to do with the plot, and watching it is just like watching paint dry. Much of this wasted screen time is attributed to the relationship between Sgt. Leland "Lee" Blanchard (Aaron Eckert) and Officer. Dwight "Bucky" Bleichert (Josh Hartnett), where we see their transformation from enemies to partners to friends unrealistically fast, which is unrealistically cliché.

But the biggest downside of the movie is Josh Hartnett. What Hartnett is doing as a serious actor is beyond me, but his performance is a wooden as they come. It is unbelievable that he was considered for the role of Bleichert, and the fact that he was cast really makes me lose faith in Hollywood's mainstream actors. His noir-ish voice-over was like reading words off the script, making it feel less and less like the artsy film De Palma intended it to be.

The only redeeming feature of the flick was Mia Kirshner who had about one minute of screen time as the Dahlia, but was the most memorable character. Oh, yeah, and we do get to see Hilary Swank's ass.

But overall, The Black Dahlia is just another bad film to cap off the summer. It is extremely confusing with all its pointless sub-plots, and just gets annoying at the end. It's one of those movies you consider walking out of, and I counted down the minutes to what I thought would be a climactic finale, but was just a series of long monologues and unclear speaking. In the end, we learned little about the Dahlia, and were pretty much back where we started, except for a few missing comrades.
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