MovieMaster0 Reviews

Snooker Man (2024)

This is a total disgrace to the word "snooker"

[26 January 2024]

First of all: I'm a big snooker fan and a big movie fan as well. I like decent comedy. This how ever... goosh! I really do not have enough words on how awful that was. Thankfully I managed to fast forward the movie in some parts.

First of all, the similarities between him and Ronnie O'Sullivan are really not that noticeable. If he had known Ronnie for sure, he could have sounded more like him with the typical high pitched voice and "yeah, you know's".

The most ridiculous thing was that the makers of that "comedy" couldn't even calculate at the level of a primary school child. They were talking about 147s but in order to make on in their tiny table, you'd need 15 reds for that. You can only spot 10 and to be honest I wouldn't believe even the great Ronnie O'Sullivan could make a 147 in a piece of cardboard like that when small colours could fall in themselves after hitting the cue ball a bit harder than usual.

So everything about that movie was just awful, it wasn't funny at all, actually everything the opposite.

Project Eerie (2023)

The first sequence should have been the whole movie

[12 November 2023]

Well I have mixed opinions about that movie.

First of all I didn't know it was an anthology movie. The first sequence was the part I really did enjoy. It felt creepy and interesting. If I would have been the director of that movie, I would have only made the movie from that story, add some twists, mix different things up etc. If I'd rate the first sequence separately, it would get something like 7-8 out of 10.

The second one I really did not get. The acting felt so fake and the story was just weird instead of having the same creepiness as the first one.

The second one tired me so much that I even did not care about the movie anymore when the third sequence started. A ghost story... Wow, that is original. This was the most pointless sequence of the trilogy.

Overall I really did not understand a lot of things and I think many of those were not well thought out. First of all, why should something so "top secret" be found in abandoned houses? Secondly, I could understand the papers, but a blu-ray disc? 😂 Then, how were those 3 stories related to each other? Why were those on the same disc, meaning those would have been the same case overall? And why should be a ghost hunting trip top secret?

The movie has a lot of creepy scenes, but most of them (maybe even all) are shown in the trailer, so you basically get nothing more than that. Really sad that they didn't take the first story and convert it to something special. Taking all in mind I'd give it 5/10, so the IMDB rating 4,3 since of today seems quite honest.

Vertical Freedom (2022)

Complete boredom

[12 October 2023]

This documentary should be about tower climbing but it's more about the life of the climbers. Hardly finished half of the movie and just couldn't watch this anymore. I just drowned in boredom. There were no true life climbing situations just clips of them on the towers. I would have liked to know more about the whole climbing routine than about their previous life and encounters. For me it was just a big disappointment. It was slow and the story hardly went anywhere. Just clips put together with adding new characters to the story. It did not make any sense within the 50 minutes I watched the movie.

Heavens Above (2021)

Quite interesting

[16 May 2023]

The movie could be basically separated into three parts. The first part was for me the most enjoyable and comical. This was the part of which the trailer was also introduced with. So I really didn't know that the movie would be sliced up like that. The first part introduces a man who suddenly gets a halo on his head and the family stars to remove it any way they could. The other two parts were basically like two other movies which had nothing to do with the beginning. So I really don't understand why to make 3 different movies when you've got a nice idea for the first part. I really don't know why this movie was over 2 hours long, it just didn't work for me. I'm really sad because I loved the first part and the movie would get at least 8 stars of 10 if they would have continued from there or stopped the movie at 80 minutes or so.

Ode to Nothing (2018)

Erm..?

[7 April 2022]

Felt a very interesting flick until the lady started to bond with a corpse. I thought it was going to be a drama around a funeral home and it's host but unfortunately the other half of the movie ruined everything and it got weird to say the least. Also by that time the movie lost it's originality. Otherwise it could have been a well made dark Philippine drama.

Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn (2021)

This is just a pointless xxx movie

[4 February 2022]

What should be the meaning of this movie? To compete with some adult webpages? I mean this is nothing than a cheap porn movie. 1/3 of the movie just showed the Romanian streets. Then there was a weird segment of some how """humorous""" Romanian history, which was completely unfunny and made me yawn. And the rest... well twenty- some minute like movie with a teacher trying to cope with the thing that her sex movie has gone viral... Watch Sex Tape instead, even this lousy movie is better than this pointless waste of time.

Burj Khalifa: Dubai's Vertical City (2011 TV Movie)

Interesting

[9 June 2021]

I thought this documentary was quite interesting. As I've been there on the public platform I could have never imagined what a huge complex it is. This is probably the only way many of us could explore the Burj Khalifa beside the public platform.

Although the whiny woman in that documentary was very annoying. Nothing suited her, poor husband who has to live with her. The woman had no taste how to furnish the luxurious apartment. She put everything there by price tags.

Eesti matus (2021)

Seemingly funny but overall quite pointless

[9 June 2021]

Had quite big expectations when saw the list of Estonian actors there. But really was disappointed afterwards. Especially disappointed in Andrus Kivirähk.

The movie overall has no literal point. Okay, I understand that the father dies and that's what brings the family together. It's quite like that in Estonia, that when the family gets together, there are always problems. Somebody needs to be drunk, somebody needs to dig up some old problems, somebody has to sow intrigues etc. This is all very common to Estonians. Sad but true.

So having the troublesome Estonian family come together after a tragedy should be fun to watch? Not really. I think the movie missed a specific point. There was nothing leading to anywhere within the actions or the topics talked. In some way it felt like a movie put together by some clips. Something is happening over there, something else happens over there and so on. The story did not connect very well. I understand that they tried to make this as real as possible but really, who would like to see a traditional Estonian funeral gathering? It is obvious that the story needed to be a bit exaggerated to make it interesting.

About the funny things... well Ago did the job there but it felt kind of not so funny after seeing the same jokes over and over again in the middle of the movie. Didn't really understand the music and dancing scenes in the end of the movie? Were they supposed to be funny? Why did those scenes have to be so long? Those were completely pointless and bored the movie down a bit.

So in conclusion, if it should be running on TV, yeah go ahead and watch it. If you need to pay for that in the theatre to see it... not so sure about that.

The Pool (III) (2018)

Very silly but still enjoyable

[15 January 2021]

Firstly the plot on how ridiculously the man gets trapped into a deep pool. Why to have a ladder inside the pool, no need for that. Secondly, how much time would it take to empty a huge pool like that with only 1 small drain? My guess is he would have starved before getting trapped there. Thirdly the crocodile, you see more lifely crocs in some video games, this one was so bad, even the acting of the croc. Did they take some zoologist with them when they created that croc? Don't think so, cuz the croc behaved more like an angry dog than a crocodile. But still the movie was catchy, very catchy to say the least.

We Still Say Grace (2020)

An OK Thriller

[14 January 2021]

Thought it was quite interesting until the last 30 minutes when it got really boring. Shame that the hired such a bad actor to play the main daughter Sarah. She was practically laughing all the time when someone got killed or other dramatic stuff happened.

Double Cross (1994 Video)

You can do a mic count in this movie

[25 May 2020]

Quite a pointless movie, no specific plot. The events fold awkwardly and its hard to keep being interested in the film to the end.

Dead Reckoning (2002–2004)

Interesting

[8 May 2020]

Quite a catchy documentary series. Quite a catchy documentary series. Quite a catchy documentary series. Quite a catchy documentary series.

Dora Who Came from Highway (2019)

Quite a boring film

[2 May 2020]

I expected more when I heard that it was produced by U.E. Liiv. He should had done a thriller instead because this "first" Estonian horror film was a big upset.

From the beginning it looked a bit interesting as I had not seen the trailer. It had a Wrong Turn kind of vibe. But after 30 minutes or so I started continuosly looking at the remainin time bar. It was not scary, more of an annoying film. The other half of the movie felt very long, it had the same scenes shot in the dark.

Overall if you enjoy 21st century crappy horror movies, check it out. Otherwise I don't advise it.

Scientology: The Fundamentals of Thought (2012 Video)

93 minutes of total boringness and false teaching

[13 April 2020]

People are quite funny, if they do not know an answer to something, they start to make up things to make sense to them. This movie, or this "religion" is a good example. Trying to hold a group of people together. Sooner or later mankind will understand that the only answer to those kinds of questions is the son of Lord- Jesus! If someone dies and 3 days later walks out of the tomb- why are you still questioning?

UHF (1989)

Not funny

[30 March 2020]

I think if you really want to enjoy this movie you should go back in time to the 90s. Seeing this in 2020 even on Blu ray felt a complete waste of time. The movie hasn't got a straight plot. Feels more like clips put together. Certainly the movie is not funny at all. Felt more of a lame production than a 7.0 rating movie. Guess if you like other crap like Kentucky Fried Movie you'll like it as well.

Stalking Santa (2006)

Utterly boring

[29 March 2020]

Nothing funny about this "documentary". Felt very childish and boring. Don't really understand if its for children or moronic adults.

Living in Peril (1997)

Awesome movie

[28 January 2020]

I thought it was a very thrilling movie. The most people that don't enjoy those kind of movies are semi-blind and used to see only those 8.0+ mainstream movies. This isn't like that. This actually has a different vibe to it. If you truly are a thriller fan you will love it.

Wild Honey (2017)

Amazing indie movie

[26 December 2019]

Really enjoyable indie movie.Really enjoyable indie movie.Really enjoyable indie movie.

Joe Pasquale: The Everything I Have Ever Done & The First of Many Goodbye Tours (2004 Video)

Feels like watching crap

[21 December 2019]

Felt sorry for the dude. Nothing funny there. Don' really understand how he got the audience laughing. Maybe it was edited.

Ready or Not (I) (2019)

Only a truly braindead person sees this interesting

[4 December 2019]

Firstly nothing new, no point to the actual movie, just some killing. I see they wanted to make another weird movie like Midsommar or Tucker and Dale vs Evils. Those ones were amusing but this was a complete waste of time. The movie didn't make any sense, I see they wanted to make us believe that the grooms family was a bunch of weirdos but to start killing the bride over a "game" felt really ridiculous.

Frank Skinner: Live from the NIA Birmingham (2007 TV Special)

Not very funny

[20 November 2019]

Most of the jokes were related to sex so felt like a show for 13 yr olds

Harry Hill: First Class Scamp (1998 Video)

Just terrible

[24 October 2019]

Feels like to watch a person, bad to laugh at him. Don't really understand the "laughs" that the crowd should be giving.

Dude, You're Screwed (2013–2014)

Stupid dumb show

[13 October 2019]

This has nothing to do with surviving extreme situations. There were some OK episodes but most of them felt so fake and stupid. Like flying from California to Finland with a chopper... Or saying that if anyones body temperature falls below 96,6 they are thrown out from the challenge but surprisingly it always stops going down after 96,7.