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Orphan (2009)
Sweet yet Sinister
I'm not going to give away much but overall, this is probably if not THE or one of THE best Horror movies of the current decade.
It's a film that takes a sub-genre and pulls a 180 just like the little girl in the film.
The film is about a couple of two children who adopt another child after their unborn kid dies. Her name is Esther and while on the outside, she's a very sweet child but what they don't know however, is that deep down there's something about her that doesn't feel right.
The acting is believable, the dialog feels natural and the twist is something you wouldn't expect and it's not ridiculous.
Overall, it's a very cool Horror film that deserves to be seen. I recommend giving it a chance.
My rating: A 10. 10 out of 10 disturbing paintings.
RoboCop (1987)
Your Move, Creep!
RoboCop is a rather classic yet kind of underrated Sci-Fi/Action gem of the 1980's. The film offered plenty of violence, satire and action and the film definitely delivered all three elements.
The story is simple, a police officer gets killed in the line of duty by a crime gang but is resurrected as a Half-Man, Half-Machine officer nicknamed RoboCop.
Of course, there's more to that story than it sounds. Sure, it sounds cheesy but believe me, it's more than that. Aside from the satire, the film also shows his distraught and sadness over the loss of his humanity and the loss of his family.
The acting is great. Nobody could play Alex Murphy/RoboCop better than Peter Weller, he was born to play the character. Nanyc Allen played her role well, Ronny Cox and Kurtwood Smith played really great assholes and their characters also became one of my all time favorite villains.
There's a lot of gore in the unrated cut to please fellow gore fiends like myself.
The script is really good and Paul Verhoeven handled his direction of the film like a champ, it is that good.
Barely any nitpicks.
Overall, 10 out of 10 from me.
Eiga Inuyasha Toki o Koeru Omoi (2001)
Time To Kick Some Ass-Half Demon Style!
InuYasha, a story about a 15 year old who ended up being transported through time to the Fuedal Era in Japan, (sort of) befriends a Half-Demon to search for Jewel shards and joining them are a perverted monk, a small fox demon and a Demon Slayer team up as well only on the way, they have to go after a villain who goes by the name of Naraku.
That simple story has gained a lot of fans including myself around the world. To this day, the show and the manga is still popular. I mean it has various kinds of merchandise and even people dress up as the characters for various Anime conventions. Due to the popularity, there was no doubt they had to make a movie, let alone four movies.
The first in the series of movies called Affections Across Time involves our heroes going up against a new villain only this time, it's not Naraku. It's Menomaru, the son of a demon InuYasha's father killed years ago. And he doesn't intend on taking over the world, instead, well, from what I've seen, he intends on committing genocide in a very badass way believe me.
Now, first time viewers if they watch the film first, they might lost but there is a sequence where it does tell the basic story, although rather condensed but it helps. Even if you're not an Anime fan, the film has plenty to offer. It has great action, great animation, great voice acting from both the Japanese and English voice actors, funny humor, awesome violence and gore, and great music to accompany the film especially at the end credits.
Any nitpicks? Well, barely actually.
Overall, the film gets a 10 out of 10 from me.
Child's Play (1988)
Friends Till The End
Now, the premise of a killer doll has been done before but not like how Child's Play pulled off the idea.
How? Well, the film is about a serial killer who on the verge of dying had no choice but to transfer his soul to a Good Guy which seems to be a sort of parody of the Cabbage Patch Kids and the My Buddy dolls. The same doll lands in the hands of a ten year boy named Andy Barclay and you know that sort of thing won't end well.
I didn't write in the full summary mainly because I didn't want to mention any spoilers about the film. Maybe I did but oh well.
But yeah, the premise of a killer doll took a new spin, instead of a doll coming to life on its own, the doll has the soul of a person. In this case, the soul is a serial killer.
The acting is really well done. Actors such as Catherine Hicks and Chris Sarandon really put in a lot of effort into their roles and the script really helped. Alex Vincent who plays Andy Barclay who unlike a lot of kid actors made the character believable. But hands down, Brad Dourif is the best of the actors, Chucky is without a doubt one of my all time favorite villains and the character himself is a badass.
Don Mancini, Tom Holland and John Lafia wrote a very clever script.
Tom Holland who directed the film was clearly the perfect guy for a film like Child's Play.
Any nitpicks? Well, barely actually.
Overall, 10 out of 10 from me.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996)
Not as funny as the TV Show itself....
Now, I will probably get a lot of hate for this but remember, this is really my opinion.
What is it that could get me flamed? Simple, I don't like The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Movie but let me explain before you start to make flaming comments.
The thing is, the main problem I have with this movie is that, it's a toned down family friendly version of the series and this is coming from someone who is a fan of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 television series. I mean, there's barely any profanity, drug references, and such. But the film being toned down was never the intention in the first place. You see, the company Gramercy Pictures simply forced those intentions onto Best Brains, the company that produces the show and the movie itself. In fact, here's some interesting trivia making the film was not a happy experience for the filmmakers, due to frequent studio interference. Years later, at a cast reunion appearance in New York City, Trace Beaulieu was asked what the worst movie featured on MST3K was. His reply was, you guessed it, Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie.
But I'll get back to that later. Anyway, the film is about well as usual that Mike and the Robots are doomed to watch bad movies but something a little different happens. You see, Mike, Tom and Gypsy are startled to find Crow deep in the lower sections of the Satellite of Love (The spaceship) pounding at the hull with various digging instruments. He has convinced himself that he can tunnel back to Earth, he tells them. A hull breach soon follows (Checking his digging calculations, a confused Crow discovers that he already knew this was inevitable: "Look at that, "Breach Hull, All Die." Even had it underlined!"), which Tom Servo remedies in an unexpected way.
But as soon as they get back to the bridge, Dr. Clayton Forrester has them watching a film called This Island Earth. So, they end up "riffing" the film as they always do with other films.
Now I like to point out the good things about the film, it does show for the first time ever other parts of the show (I personally laughed at the Mike on the mouse wheel scene, funny stuff), the characters mocking the film, those are always the best parts and of course, an explanation as to what happened to Dr. Clayton Forrester before Pearl took over as the villain for the rest of the series and the infamous "end credits riffing." But despite those aspects, I still didn't like it. I mean, it wasn't as funny as the TV show as it was toned down to a family friendly level which I despise a lot. I mean, why tone down something that wasn't made to be family friendly in the first place? I'm sorry everyone but the film did not impress me, if anyone is reading this, save your money and buy the TV show on DVD instead of the movie.
Overall Rating: 4/10.
Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation (1992)
Again, what was the point of a sequel?
Oh God... Where do I start? First off, even though I don't recommend but look at the first film and tell me there's no need for sequels and second, anything that says "The Next Generation" is bound to suck unless if done right.
What are the problems? Everything is wrong with it from the cast, to the script, to the jokes, everything. Especially the fact that it's a family friendly version of the original. That's right, Nerds I was actually Rated R which was one of the reasons why I watched the first film since I dig R Rated films.
But I hate it when studios try to make their own franchises family friendly. Remember, this was the sort of thing that killed the RoboCop and the Burton/Schumacher Batman franchises. I mean, "Heck Week"? What the hell? The only good thing about it is the uncredited cameo appearance of Clancy Brown as a gas station owner, I'll watch anything that has Clancy Brown, the dude kicks ass.
Overall, I don't recommend watching it but if you're curious about it, go ahead, you'll see how bad it is.
Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987)
What was the point of a sequel?
Now, even though I didn't like Revenge of the Nerds but what was the point of making a sequel? Aside from making money, of course.
I mean as the song The Touch goes "After all is said and done" pretty much describes about making a sequel. I mean, the first film told its story and didn't leave any possibilities of a sequel, it had something to say and it was done, what more is there to tell? Now, as usual, the nerds, the jocks and the rest of the characters are annoying as hell even after a few years after the first film. The new actors who played the new characters didn't exactly help, I mean they're like Mary Sues and Garu Stus. What the hell, man? The script sucks, nothing more.
But the music is actually good except for the song the "Nerds" sang, don't know the name but I won't bother to ask what it is. but the song "Paradise" is actually pretty good, it was pumping and energetic. The sequel is actually another case where the soundtrack is better than the movie itself.
Overall, Nerds II gets 2/10. Off to the third film I go...
Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love (1994)
For the last time, what was the point of a sequel?
Finally, the Nerds franchise is dead thank god.
So, what's the deal with this one? Okay, I'll just flat out admit what the film is about, Booger wants to get married, the whole gang comes back with a few exceptions, some prick wants to break up the couple, yadda, yadda, yadda, everyone lives happily ever after.
Yeah, sounds like a great film.
Everything about it is just so bad, it's actually just as bad as Batman & Robin, trust me, it's that bad.
Like the previous film, it tries to be family friendly which I despise by the way.
As usual, the nerds, and the other characters are annoying, the script is very bad, I can't say anymore. But I will ask you this, have you noticed that the franchise had run out of ideas? I'm surprised Fox never bothered to do Revenge of the Nerds V: Nerds in Space where the Nerds gang decide to go to Pluto or Jupiter, whatever.
Overall, thank god the Nerds are dead and they should stay dead.
Revenge of the Nerds (1984)
So, why is it funny?
Okay, after finding out the film has a decent sized fanbase so I decided to check out the film on HBO. After watching it, I was just unimpressed, very unimpressed.
First off, the characters aren't very good. The nerds, the jocks, and even the girls and teachers are very annoying. They acted like the Mary Sues and Gary Stus you'd read in fanfiction. They're too annoying, they're way too impossible to like or care about.
Plus, where are the other cliques like the punks since they were a clique in the 80's, so why aren't they there too? Another problem I have with the film is the writing which is the script itself, it's not so good. The dialogue is more annoying, the acting didn't help although actors such as John Goodman tried to make the best out of it.
And the jokes aren't very good, they're just not funny. The thing is, call me bias or anything but I felt that the film was trying to imitate Animal House but it failed so badly at doing that. If John Landis was somehow offered to direct the film and rejected it, I can see why.
The only good things about it were John Goodman and Bernie Casey, they played their roles and made the best out of the script they were given.
And the choice of music is pretty good, the theme song is pretty catchy, a bit annoying but catchy.
I'm sorry to the Nerds fanbase but this film just isn't very good, bash me and flame me all you like but it won't change my opinion.
Overall, 3/10 from me. I intend on reviewing the sequels and trust me, what I'll say won't be pretty.