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cammeikle
Reviews
The Device (2014)
Not very much ado about nothing...
I dunno, I don't usually review, but this one just iritaed enough to make me think I might save others the same fate as me! Softly repeated nothing piano track repeated continuously ad nausium, while we are treated to a toyota prius slowly driving around, maddeningly stupid arguments between two stupid sisters and a stupid guy who mostly squirrels himself away in the basement staring at the stupid billiard ball, with a guest appearance by a stupid doctor (sorry, as actors, you did your job convincingly, you were simply just following the stupid script) and the ever present flat black billiard ball that serves as the one all- encompassing (spoiler alert!) all impregnating super special effect that this movie offers- other than- spoiler alert!!!! the obligatory gooey white rubber alien that only just stands there filmed in amazing tilto- shako- vision, he makes a few brief guest appearances during dream sequences that just flash his rubber suited majesty against the dark, then in the grand finally, he stands there doing nothing, saying nothing, just holding the billiard ball as yet another nosebleed ensues! Oh, and don't forget the complementary alien birth, to which new ma screams convincingly as we are treated to- nothing but a blanketed shape, not even a decent creepy alien baby shot here kids!!!! Oh,the terror! Lots of terrible nosebleeds ensue around the evil black billiard ball! After wasting about 1/2 hour watching the nothing beginning, I fast forwarded though this masterpiece of nothing to find nothing in the middle, and nothing at the end! I picked no for spoilers to a movie that nothing in it to spoilt!!!!! Oh, and I must add a thought I missed, --Don't be fooled by the quality movie poster that promises so much more movie than was delivered.
Geostorm (2017)
Hurry hurry, done in 15 seconds.
What was it that so many people loved about 2001 a space Odyssey? With antiquated technique, they more faithfully depicted the overall experience of weightlessness in a vacuum than any other movie has since, including this one... where in pushing off a crumbling structure, and setting out across the void toward an object the size of a vw van, about a football field distant, careening from various obstacles along the way- ending up exactly where you set out for, and two people doing this flawlessly, just not believable- when they could have at least had our hero wearing a spacesuit equipped with manual jets to control your flight a little bit, for the purpose of believability... Combine this with the speed at which this occurred, physics says that he hits the 'van' at the same speed as he pushed off the object that set him in motion... they missed out on a terrifying inevitable slow motion scene where physics are faithfully depicted. Instead we get hurry it up and on to the next hurried up scene... Weather patterns- don't change like a light switch going on, they would take time, a slow motion build to mother nature's terrifying unleashing, not, Clap on- instant tsunami, clap on, instant super-freeze! Mother nature doesn't need to hurry, the inevitable will happen, but in this movie, everything goes from zero to apocalypse in 15 seconds flat! Other aspects of this film are fine, so I won't totally fail it... More could have been done with the cgi physics...