vsveig Reviews

Bam's Bad Ass Game Show (2014)

Why was this ever made?

[1/10 · 9 May 2022]

I really don't get it.

Who came up with the brilliant idea of making a gameshow that can only be described as a mentally challenged hybrid of Fear Factor and Jackass.

Only the Jackass-relatable stunts were made so safe and tv-friendly that i almost fell asleep.

I understand they don't want to hurt their competitors but this was just disappointing to watch.

The contestants has to do "stunts" like running across porter-potties while being fired upon by t-shirt cannons etc.

Another example was a spelling bee where the losers would get an ostrich-egg poired on the face while being attached to some rotating, padded thingy.

When asked to spell out what i would say was relatively easy words, the remaining contestants did quite well, except for this one guy who had an iq like a loaf of bread.

While all this nonsense takes place, Bam who for some reason sports a walking cain makes stupid comments and one-liners for his yes-men to laugh at.

If this was the 2014-version of Bam Margera i fully understand why the rest of the Jackass crew were desperate to get rid of him.

In my opinion he's the one who has contributed the least for Jackass.

He made some 'skits' where the brunt lf the so called joke was his parents.

Just sad to watch, really.

What's also sad is that Bam doesn't seem to have changed or had any form of evolution as a human since they aired Jackass in the mid-late 90's.

He's still the same entitled brat he was back then, only now he's closing to 50 years if he hasn't passed the mark already, and his behaviour and remarks is the one of a 14-15 year old edgelord.

In conclusion; i fully understand why only 6 episodes of this show was made. This show can not have been watched by many people.

I'm aware this show was made back in 2014 but i live in Norway and just warched the show today.

Apparently they show all kinds of crap during nighttime tv over here.

I'll advice you all to sit this one out and go for a walk or take a 30 minute powernap.

That's a much better use of your time than watching Bam strutting around dressed like a homeless person(i especially liked the scarf with 300 safety-pins in it) with his douchy cain.

Well, actually when i said that last sentence back in my mind the image i got was kinda fun but watch on own risk!

I suspect he might be making his own clothes.

The end.

The Guardians of Justice (Will Save You!) (2022– )

Not great, but...

[5/10 · 8 March 2022]

I started watching this belieing it was another run of-the-mill superhero series.

Well, i could not have been more in the wrong. This is comedy, and not an action series. The plot is really thin; Planet earth is in danger of nuclear disaster because the only superhero who was able to save it commits suicide(that's how it starts off).

The rest of the "Guardians" + some really odd sidekicks has to pick up the job with Night Hawk taking point.

That's the main plot, and a lot of stuff happens underway.

It has it's plotholes(like the worlds fastest superhero, Speed. Who seems to be just a second too late at very critical moments). I don't know if they wrote the character like this on purpose but parts of me thinks it's lazy post production and editing.

The series has a certain Kung Fury-vibe in my opinion, with lots of animation and some C64 gameplay even + tons of other 80's references. But they didn't have to use the MK-Fatality and Finish Him that many times. It was fun the first time, but that's it.

It's also very gory and violent!

The actors aren't great, but this is not a big budget production by any means, and i got the impression they had fun making and shooting the series.

However, i did find it funny and engaging enough to watch the whole thing in one night, but you have to have an aqquired taste to like these types of films/series.

I don't think you'll have to watch very much of it to see if you'll like it or not.

Relentless (2021)

What's really going on here?

[10/10 · 18 January 2022]

I went into this documentary thinking it would be another missing person-story.

It is about a missing woman, Christina Whittaker but the series has so many odd twists and turns i had to rewatch the second episode only to confirm what i just watched was really true.

There are a few things that raised some red flags for me.

1. When the filmmaker interviewed the parents of Christina, they seem oddly indifferent.

They're smiling and laughing like it's just another normal day, and that don't sit right with me.

2. The lies and disinformation spread by the victims own family.

I have never seen anything like it!

I'm watching from Norway and have only seen 2 episodes.

Thus far it has been an interesting study in the lenghts certain people will go to to have it their way.

Can't wait for the conclusion(if there is one?) I have made an effort not looking up this case i social media because it is a very exciiting and thought-provoking series.

This is really something to behold.

Recommended for true crime-buffs and armchair detectives like myself.

Bør Børson Jr. (1974)

Stick to the book for now!

[4/10 · 26 December 2021]

This is one story that shouldn't have been transferred to the big screen. At least not in the era it was recorded.

Back then there was very few professional actors in Norway which led to the same people being cast in almost every movie.

If they did a reboot today, i belive it would make for a much greater movie experience.

When this was made people spoke differently, acted differently and let's not forget the unecessary musical numbers that suddenly blindsides you.

The book by Johan Falkberget, orignally written in 1920 is fascinating.

Falkberget was an amazing storyteller and author.

The story is about Bør Børson, sort of a of con-man of that era who tries to make it as a legit businessman after WW1.

Ofcourse this doesn't go without a hitch and there are some genuinelly funny moments in this old movie, as hard as that is for me to admit.

If you can find a copy of this book written in english i would snag it in a second as they are very rare.

Candyman (2021)

Lol. It's a remake, guys.

[7/10 · 3 December 2021]

Reading some of the reviews on here makes me shake my head in disbelief.

Everything has to be about politics these days. Even the reviews on a remake of the 1992-horror classic Candyman.

I see a lot of indignent white, and i'm guessing males complaining about Jordan Peele not liking white people, a claim which in itself is ridicolous!

If you have ever watched Jordan Peele/Key & Peele you'd know for a fact he's not racist at all.

However, some of the comments towards Peele and this movie comes across as bigoted and narrowminded.

I'm also a white guy, but i tend to see movies for what they are; entertainment to pass time.

Some guys obviously belives this movie is some kind of political statement, but i assure you it's anything but that.

It's not great movie but what remake is?

I found it entertaining, like the old one.

I do prefer the 92' version over this but they are both in my collection and definetly worth owning if you collect movies.

My advice to horrorfans out there: enjoy this movie for what it is and don't let some grouchy proudboys ruin your movienight.

I'm glad i overlooked the poor reviews and bought this on disc.

I'm willing to put money on half of the people who trash this movie and writes bad reviews haven't even seen it, nor do they plan to for obvious reasons.

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

Great fictional piece...

[9/10 · 2 December 2021]

..but newer research and investigation shows the police was on a wild goose chase when they believed every crazy story Lucas told them, no matter if it didn't fit in with their leads.

They gobbled up every word he served them and i bet he enjoyed the spotlight being on him as well.

To me it's mindboggling that the police belived every word he said when there was so many holes in his stories.

My guess is they were happy for the case clarification-rate to go up, but there has got to be at least some of the investigating cops who had their suspicions he wasn't the killer.

In other words, his worthless confessions and the botched policework caused the real serialkiller to roam free.

If he's not in prison, he's probably dead now or too old to commit any violent crimes so i have my doubts we will ever know who tortured and murdered all these women.

I don't belive Henry Lee Lucas is an innocent man, far from it but i'm also 100% convinced he lied about most of his misdeeds.

I'd watch the documentary: Confession Killer for facts on the case and how it stands today.

But as a fictional thriller/horror-flick, this is a good one.

Quarry (2016)

You'll be surprised.

[10/10 · 11 May 2021]

I had zero expectations when i decided to give Quarry a chance.

Already from the first episode i was blown away with how well written and executed this series was. I ended up binging all 9 episodes in one night and i have watched it again since.

The story is really suspenseful and the actors are really good.

If you haven't seen this yet, give it a chance.

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Stowaway (I) (2021)

This was pure cringe!!!

[2/10 · 24 April 2021]

Do yourself a favour and don't waste time on this snoozefest of a movie.

As if the plot's not boring from before it's also riddled with logical flaws and holes.

This is without a doubt the dumbest and most badly executed sci-fi i've seen in years.

Welcome to Leith (2015)

Stunning documentary!

[9/10 · 22 December 2020]

This is the documentary about the inhabitants of Leith, a small village/town in North Dakota. After finding out that Craig Cobb, a well known and infamous neo nazi are buying as much land as he possibly can in order to create some sort of village for his like minded, mentally challenged people aka other neo nazis. Basically, Cobb is trying to take over Leith.

It starts off pretty calmly, but after a while Cobb and his minions start to walk "patrols" in this small community while being armed with assault rifles and things escalate quicky. The movie is not only a testament to how hard the residents of Leith fought to get rid of a potentially dangerous group of individuals but it also gives a glimpse inside the narrow mind of Cobb and his followers. Why they would let themselves be portrayed like this for the world to see is beyond me, but in my experience alt-righters and neo nazis aren't very intelligent to begin with. If you haven't watched this, i recommend it strongly.

The negative reviews comes from deplorables who's afraid and/or ashamed of the truth. This movie is extremely well made, it's unbiased and we get to see both sides of the situation.

My Brothers' Crossing (2020)

Nothing to see here, read the book or the newsstory instead.

[1/10 · 18 September 2020]

My Brother's Crossing is based on a true story, but the movie does little or nothing to do justice to the tragedy that cost a man his life. It's poorly produced with tons of montages repeated again and again. The sound is horrible due to the music sometimes makes it really hard to hear the actors saying their lines. This is a movie made by christians, for christians so that they may feel better about themselves. It also has a lot of scenes and messages that are totally unrelated to the story of the movie. I'd suggest you rather read the book or newsstory this movie is based upon because this is an atrocity to the memory of the life that was lost.

Cobra Kai (2018–2025)

QUIET!!!

[10/10 · 6 September 2020]

By reading other reviews, it may seem that some people take the Cobra Kai-series way too seriously and doesn't see it for what it really is: entertainment. This isn't a political statement, or a social comment about "virtue signaling" like some other guy wrote in his review. It's just a tv-series produced by Netflix, and it's hilarious!! Watching Johnny Lawrence trying to channel his inner-Kreese made me laugh so hard i almost cried. It's a show about teens, made for teens(and some fans of the orignal Karate Kid-movies i guess. If you're watching this and taking it seriously, you're watching it in the wrong way. I don't know if it's made to be funny, but i found so much comedy, involuntarily or not; it's full of funny moments and scenes. Watch this with an open mind because it's very different from the Karate Kid-movies from the 80's.

All the Devil's Men (2018)

b-action movie with a plot thin as a leaf.

[2/10 · 30 August 2020]

When i watched this travesty of a movie, it felt like i had seen it all before. Several times. I knew what was going to happen before it did, and i was right 9 out of 10 times. I like movies that surprises you, and has a good plot + good actors. All The Devil's Men lacks everything i just mentioned. Watch it on your own risk but remember, you will never get those (close to) 2 hours of your life back that you could have done something else. If you're a fan of Steven Seagal's newer films(2010-2020) you will love this one. The bad reviews and terrible Metacritic is justified here. What a complete waste of time.

Twin Peaks (2017)

Even scarier than season one and two, back in the 90's.

[10/10 · 29 August 2020]

While this third season may be more confusing than the first two(rewatch it and more secrets will be revealed) it's an amazing piece of work from director mastermind David Lynch. Remember Laura telling Agent Cooper when he was trapped in the black lodge; i'll see you again in 25 years. Well, here we are 25 years later. I won't reveal any spoilers but let me tell you this, the third season is beyond scary and has a soundtrack(usually at the end of every episode) that is out of this world. I didn't understand everything the first time i watched it and had more questions than answers but then i watched it again and the aha-moments kept coming. How's this for a spoiler; i will watch it for the third time this weekend. It's best and most coherent if you watch the whole thing in one sitting even though it's 18+ hours. Pro tip: order the Blu Ray and get tons of extra material. I did and it's the best film-purchase i've done in years. Can't wait to watch it one more time.

What Did Jack Do? (2017)

Mesmerizing!

[10/10 · 13 April 2020]

David Lynch both directed and is acting in this weird little short story where he plays a police detective who interrogate a monkey with a faboulous vocabulary. I loved this story but it's not everyone's cup of tea as it is somewhat strange and Lynchian.

Bonus info: the soundtrack to this can be bought on David Lynch's BandCamp-site. It's a wonderful tune named: True Love's Flame(B-side is named: Dancin' in the World of Love. Essential for both vinyl collectors and fans of David Lynch's work. I recommend you check out both this short story and the music.

Seed (2006)

Gore for shock value only.

[1/10 · 8 February 2020]

The title of my review pretty much sums up this movie. It starts with real footage of people torturing animals while they're still alive and that part alone made me wanna both cry and vomit. It has no relevance at all to the rest of the movie so my prediction is they included it for shock value only, or maybe some edgelord Uwe Boll-fanboi find this appealing and gets a half-chub. I did not. The rest of the movie is a mishmash of poor acting and a plot so thin it's embarrasing to admit i finished watching the entire 90+ minutes. This movie is pure garbage and i wonder why anyone would finance this? Not that it's big budget, but still i wonder why. It's like Uwe Boll and Tom Six has some sort of competition in making the most shockingly disgusting and gory movies without any real plot or meaning behind it. I love a good horror movie but this was just sad to watch, as most of Boll's movies are. Don't waste your time on this, you'll never get it back.

When They See Us (2019)

You don't wanna miss this. A must see!

[10/10 · 1 June 2019]

This is the tragic story about the media-dubbed ''Central Park five'' who got wrongfully accused of raping a woman who was jogging through the park. It's a true story and it will most likely rub some people the wrong way due to their worship of a certain millionaire who now happens to be president of the U.S.(to this day, he still maintain their guilt, even after being exonorated by dna-tests).

The series also adresses the extremely sloppy (and illegal) policework done by the NYPD by not letting these children have an attorney present during interrigations.

I can't help but feel history is repeating itself when we all can see how blacks how been and are being treated by police to this day. Proof of this is not very hard to come by after mobilephones has videocamera and some from the police's own bodycams.

I'd advice you all to ignore the negative reviews further down as they are written by the followers of a cult and has no bearing with the truth what so ever.

This mini-series is a must watch for everyone, but it seems like some conservatives doesn't feel this is a story worthy of telling and some of them are so insulted they even cancelled their Netflix-membership. Well, they are wrong because in reality this could happen to anyone, simply because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Highly recommandable!

Cold Pursuit (2019)

Meh - another remake.....

[2/10 · 13 March 2019]

This is just a mediocre Hollywood-remake of the norwegian(not german as someone claims) movie ''Kraftidioten''. The orignal version is really funny but i have an impression that people from the US are allergic to foreign movies that has subtitles in them and the result is a bunch of bad remakes. ''The Snowman'' and asian ''Old Boy'' are perfect examples of this. The orignal '' Snømannen'' wasn't a 10 but it's way better than the remake with Michael Fassbender as Detective Harry Hole. I'd rather watch the orignal with subtexts. Or not watch it at all. Old episodes of ''Unsolved Mysteries'' are better than this regurgitated garbage.

Damnation (2017–2018)

Suprisingly good!

[8/10 · 17 June 2018]

Pay no attention to the negative reviews as they come from snowflakey tRumpsters that can't distinguish between communism and nationalsosialism. The main story takes place in Iowa in the 1930's, great depression era. A former scab(strike-breaker), now wanted fugitive posing as a preacher and his wife are urging farmers to fight against their oppressors at the same time trying to stay hidden from corrupt police, the klan and long lost family with a chip on his shoulder. I really hope there will be a season 2 of Damnation.