Change Your Image
stop_thebeat
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Loki (2021)
Loki: Dead & Loving it
So series1 was a cat & mouse Loki catch-a-thon setting up 'He who remains' who would be Kang. This works as we've seen Kang in Ant Man & the teaser for Loki series 2 at the end of the Marvels.
So series 2... I've honestly no idea, i found it really hard to watch, i had to push myself. It wasn't particularly gripping, it wasn't particularly needed. I've no idea what purpose it served other than trying to write out Kang due to the Jonathan Majors scandal. It ended with Loki becoming 'He who remains'
Loki learns to jump through time, learns centuries worth of astrophysics. 6 episodes of jumping around nonsense all to have achieved nothing & Loki having to hold life together. Very well acted, no fault in the actors any all & OB was brill but if you're honest with yourself Marvel has been extremely hit & miss since Infinity War. There's been the odd fun film & series. But this, it was just a confusing mess.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)
Go go go Godzilla!
Ever since Godzilla: King of Monsters I've been waiting for another clash of Titans this delivered in a scale that Godzilla V Kong failed to. It was thoroughly entertaining, the new story and creation of Skarking was really good and went well with what we knew of the Titans ancient battles and rivalries. It was also nice to see that the score maintained elements of the previous score rather than ignore it and create an entirely new one. (I like continuity)
So what went wrong? The effects are good but they are obviously effects at some points. I think there's something to be said for actual props on wires etc having entirely comp generated effects can be visually exciting but if they appear too cartoonish then it goes against the overall feel of the film. This unfortunately did have such elements, some of the close up shots were so obviously CGI which is where I think they could actually get away with models & mix it up like Jurassic Park.
The story is told well both above & below the surface but I do put into question why Godzilla went through all this for an S&M acrobatic oranguatan rather than King Ghidora I don't know. He didn't really need the super heat/thing really. But you know it sells merchandise, I'm sure that wasn't the only reason to do it but it seems like a massive factor. Also, I am knit picking slightly but if Godzilla was now hyper-charged and donning his new pink powers & mega irradiated. Does that mean that everywhere he made landfall post exposure is now a radiation wasteland?
Also side note, but what the actual F is up with destroying the Pyramids? FFS leave them be! Destroy something else, the Eiffel Tower! Mount Rushmore!
I did decide about mid way that I'd enjoy watching this again. So I'll likely do that.
But for now I leave you with this review and this little spoiler! Kong FINALLY gets his crown! Woohoo!
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
Frozen in nostalgia
So GB:Afterlife was the nostalgia trip that made the hardcore GB fans happy. A retelling of the first film but with a new cast & emotionally charged stakes. A good gateway to get a new generation of fans to the 80's supernatural franchise. It was also a touching and poignant farewell to Harold Ramis.
Did GB:Frozen Empire recapture that magic, in a word, no.
It was an original story but it didn't marry up with the continuity set up at the end of the last film. It also continued to rely on the nostalgia element far too much. The finale was less grande than it was ok. The film suffered from too many split storylines that didn't really go anywhere. Phoebes quasi queer relationship with a ghost girl who as luck would have it worked for the big bad. The continuing focus on the status of the relationship with Paul Rudds character to the Spengler family (guess how that turned out) As well as the various avenues to 80's nostalgia & the ongoing plot of the film.
There are just too many characters that aren't fleshed out and just seem to be there to fill the screen that in all honesty didn't need to be there. James Acaster as funny as he is was a space filler that served no real purpose. Lucky from the first film was no longer the romantic focus of Trevor's life and appeared maybe for 10 minutes in total. They either hand the film over to the new cast or have them as guest stars in the Ghostbusting universe. After all the hype of GB: Afterlife I was so excited that they did a sequel rather than a se-boot like the afore mentioned GB:Afterlife.
I doubt they've 'busted' their chance at a sequel & they will continue to milk this I'm sure and get as much merchandising as possible but for me, GB:Frozen Empire was just ok. Had I watched it at home on streaming it would've made no difference at all which is a great shame as films like this should be made to be seen on the big screen.
Madame Web (2024)
Spider fam
I stupidly listened to the hate hype about this film before deciding one rainy day to give it a chance and form my own opinion.
Glad I did, it was a fun, entertaining addition to the 'Spider-verse'
The characters were endearing and well rounded, admittedly if you went into this without knowing the basics of the Spiderman family unit you may have been a little lost.
The effects were good, loved the soundtrack and as this was set in the past it was fun to know where they'd inevitably end up.
The girls were all well acted, felt like a prequel to Charlie's angels at times (not in a bad way, #girlpower)
Really liked the Villian, tortured by his future driven mad by it rational thought escaped him and obsession took over. It was very well portrayed & I'd quite like to see him again.
Interestingly this film features birth of Peter Parker, but which version? Maybe a new one yet to be cast. Whether this film is set in the 'Venom-verse' remains to be seen. But is sure enjoy a sequel. I really hope people give this a chance before jumping on the 'female hate train' for me Madame Web spun a surprisingly entertaining adventure with a superpower we've not seen before.
Black Adam (2022)
Thank you
Finally another good DC film. Dwayne Johnson was perfectly cast, it had the right balance of action darkness & humour. In many respects it followed the blueprint for success laid out by Marvel. This is the DC's Venom for their version of Spiderman. It's not afraid to be serious and dark, whereas Shazam was just a kids film. DC now has its version of Wakanda & Vibranium & I can't wait to see where it goes from here because Incase you haven't heard, there's a massive punch coming in the post credits! The last time I enjoyed a DC film this much it was Zack Snyders Justice League. Admittedly the Justice Society show was stolen by Pierce Brosnan, he was just magnificent. It was a nice touch seeing them but mid film once their mission is underway you ask yourself why them? Especially if there's better cards in the deck.
So that's a little gripe, still though Hawkman was AMAZING. Dr Fate was very different to marvels dr strange, personality and powers wise and was great seeing a different legacy character finally.
A couple of things that went unanswered:
*spoiler alert*
The mighty wizards that granted Black Adam his powers couldn't take them back? They had to go around the most convoluted way to imprison him & conveniently leafy a way to release him inscribed on it? Smart!
Black Adam is thousands of years old, he was imprisoned yet after one night out of his prison he inexplicably can speak perfect English & with an American accent no less, obviously quite prevent in the Middle East where this is set.
Atom smasher & Cuclone where there to what? Bring comic relief some kind of awkward romance & to look pretty?
Why the Henry Winker cameo? Love the man, but why was here there?
How the actual hell did powered down Black Adam fight of military guards 2 seconds after escaping his suspended animation chamber, & more to it, how did he not die of hyperthermia after swimming in literal ice water?
And my biggest gripe of this whole film, WHY was Superman in blue the black costume was infinitely better.
All that said these are minor things and don't distract too much from what is a truely thoroughly enjoyable cinematic experience. Bring on BA2!
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
Thor: Meh & OK
I saw TL&T last night & it seems clear to me that Marvel Studios are unable to recreate the excitement of the Infinity series. The films will continue making money because fans will go see them out of loyalty to the brand & to discover more of the puzzle pieces rather than them being good films. There seems to be a lot of focus on the multiverse & magic but I'm not getting the sense of an ominous theme like the Infinity Saga. L&T is also let down by its 'humour' while Ragnarok was IMO the best Thor film with regards to tone, humour & characters, this one fell pretty flat. The same issues arose, namely the side characters proving to be far more interesting than the main. Thor, like Spider-Man is great as part of an ensemble film, but in solo films the character and stories prove to be dull. Hela stole the show in Ragnarok even though she wasn't in it nearly enough. Like wise Gorr was a really interesting character, not evil by any means but complex due to his origins. There needed to be more explanation as to what & how he became like he did. All the intesting parts of the story were left to throwaway lines with mystic origins, those stories were far more interesting than the frankly dire representation of someone going through mental health problems.
So Thor was feeling low post Endgame, (he blamed himself for the snap, rightly so) but he knew about the wish granting God so..... anyway this film portrays him as suffering from anxiety/depression & over compensating by losing himself to exercise etc, that in itself maybe true of alot of people during lockdown etc, but the message here was, he used fighting to solve his issues. I was reminded of being told at an early age, violence solves nothing! & as it progressed they ignored the more serious issues & turned it into a heartbreak story which to me was a cop out & an effort to bridge the loss of Janes character since Thor 2. There's then the dangerous theme of 'weaponising' children! Again teaching them violence solves problems, a very American message & one I'd imagine anyone with children may feel uncomfortable at seeing used as a humor tool. Finally there's the 'promise' of lgbtq representation. LGBT people are a part of veryday life so it seems odd that there needs to be any fanfare about this & these films do severely underrepresent minority groups. Valkyrie's story being told how she lost her girlfriend was a nice addition to her character & representing the lgbt community in a way that didn't define her by her orientation. So I felt that was done respectfully. The whole deal with Korg though, as an alien he explained Kronan babies are made when 2 males hold hands over a lava pool. This seemed like an explanation to the alien reproduction cycle rather than a representation of a male gay character. So that was a cop out. The studios need to get with it & stop shying away from representing gay males in film especially in such a huge diverse universe like MCU. It was an entertaining film I wouldn't say it was a bad film I wouldn't really say it was good either. The exciting elements, like the dynamic between Valkyrie & Mighty Thor & Mighty Thor herself were underused and could've had more films made with her in rather than a flash in the pan but that's just my opinion. Over all it's a solid 6/10.
Black Widow (2021)
Unnecessary but entertaining
I've just seen this & honestly, it's ok. It's a standard run, jump & blow stuff up film. It's hard to watch a film about a character that you know is **SPOILER ALERT** already dead the stakes just do t seem high at all. Ray Winstone has a bad accent, great seeing Rachel Weiss she's a great actress (did you know she's married to Daniel Craig) the cameras were jerky. The choreography & cinematography though were incredible. It's made me want to visit Norway if nothing else.
Who was this Red Soilder or whatever he was called? Where did that super serum come from? I spent half the film wondering whether her mate was Craig David & the other half laughing to myself wondering why did the bad guy looked like Lord Z from Power Rangers?
Honestly this seemed like a two hour fight fest just to explain a haircut & a plane.
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
Monsters are real!
I'm so glad the majority of this film is set in the daytime and well lit, the first Godzilla film was so dark it was hard to see what was happening.
The visuals and effects in this are awesome. The fights are great fun & have a real touch of nostalgia for the proper Godzilla films of the 70's.
The world building between the three films is brilliantly done but the award goes to Bradley Whitford who's woefully underused but provides brilliant comic relief.
I must say the cast is absolutely top notch & considering Godzilla films used to be seen as B movies for decades m, it just shows how much of an appetite there is for classic monster movies. They are perfect popcorn flicks.
So what's wrong with it?
A couple of petty issues first, Kyle Chandlers character whispering drives me crazy! Just talk damnit!
Millie Bobbi Brown spends the first half of the film simply saying 'Mom, Dad' it's uber annoying and a complete waste of dialogue.
There is too much concentration on the human element without discovering more about the Titans or their origins it's all bits here, bits there and the military desperately trying to do what they can.
It's America-centric, given that this film introduces multiple Titans there is no communication/input from any other country on how to potentially deal with the issue (Ghidora)
The death of Serizawa. This was a 'Noooooo' moment. He was the most well rounded character from each film and now he is no more. :(
Challenging moments which I believe needed a better look at from the director. There are two instances where Kyle Chandlers character 'outranks' an army Colonel played by Aisha Hinds. Firstly in a briefing where he knows best on a situation he's literally just been brought in in. Despite no mention of any army or tactical training. And secondly when explaining that it was his ex wife who released Ghidora to the other Monarch crew. This may not have been so bad had the colonel not been a black female. It came across as 'white man knows best' I'm sure this wasn't the intention. As if there is equality it shouldn't matter to be honest but I did hear a few comments about this also.
Lastly, the hyper thermo Godzilla! That was absolutely awesome & hope it returns in a future film.
I'm not mentioning the Godzilla standing in the ocean as that's been queried to death now.
I'm not ashamed to admit that this film is firmly amongst my favourites now. Both for entertainment & nostalgia. And please take a moment to appreciate how damned scary Ghidora is, I'm sure we all had nightmares of being chased by a dragon or some kind of dinosaur, but the moment where it stares in on MBB through a window really brought back my childhood nightmares of that exact scenario but with me instead of MBB.
If you've not seen it already, see it. It's damned good entertainment.
DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)
Great fun
This is a spill over of the age of girl power from Xena Warrior Princess, Buffy & Charlie's Angels. It's basically martial arts meets exploration. Pretty much something for everyone in this. Cheesy action sequences & dialog. Hot women, if you're into that. Lovable characters (especially Tina she's awesome).
The plot is pretty bonkers as is the manner/method of the invitations to the tournament. There's always a tournament isn't there? Unlike Mortal Kombat there doesn't seem to be any negative impact if no one wins, they just don't get the 10 million prize.
The main issue with this film is that they've obviously seen the success of Charlie's Angels and tried to recreate the 'token Asian' dynamic in a trio of women. The film is heavily Caucasian centric, but aren't they all? You get the odd Caucasians and as it's based on martial arts the rest of the background cast are Asian. The exception is Zack, the only black guy and comic relief.
The romantic angle in this is odd as it matches an existing business partnership/friends with benefits Max & Christie and that's not really developed further. Then there's Helena who falls for a techno wiz voyeur. It's cute as it's not really done in a creepy way but more as a guy trying to work up the courage to ask her out. I think we've all been in that or a similar situation.
The best things about this film for me are character interactions and intentional/unintentional comedy. The action sequences, some appear like they've copied the video game frame for frame and others are of the age. It's not a masterpiece, but it's fun and entertaining. Eric Robert's steals the show as the villain with the charm and maddness you'd expect from him. He seemed to have fun with the role and showed impressive martial arts moves.
Charlie's Angels (2019)
Full Throttle action
I was sceptical when they mentioned doing another CA without Drew, Lucy & Cameron, but their story was covered off on their last film. And being honest that wasn't the strongest. Now we come to this, a recognition of CA franchise with fresh Angels, big chases, explosions, plots & twists & turns. Just like a CA episode. And why didn't people like it?
Well I don't h Derry and it tbh, I really enjoyed it. I thought all the Angels were great and I really liked Kristen Stewart's character in it. They were relatable and fun, Bosley (Elizabeth Banks) did a great job acting & directing this film. She did rock some pretty mental glasses as well. I feel so sorry for everyone involved in it as to how the film was treated. They didn't deserve that, but I feel that as soon as you mention 'all female/ girl power' it seems to be like poison in the more conservative of the Hollywood reporters & reviewers. The film wasn't bad at all, I've seen much much worse.
If you want a bit of fun, grab some snacks, a drink settle in, get comfy & enjoy.
Bumblebee (2018)
It had promise
This could've been a really decent Transformers film but it was full of negative tropes that really don't belong in cinema as we should be more progressive nowadays.
Good having another girl mechanic who wasn't relying on her looks and body to fill out her character. Charlie was quite likeable and having to remind myself she was 18 so prone to be moody etc. But the dead dad thing is so old, & to assume that the mother wouldn't have sat down with her children to explain her moving on with a new man & he's not replacing your father etc etc is ridiculous.
Unresolved daddy issues scored 0 points in this film.
Good 80's soundtrack and wardrobe.
So the elephants in the room they hinted at a romance but weren't they brave enough to have a have an 'interracial' couple kissing onscreen. It's not the 1950's! Guaranteed if that was a white guy lead they'll have had their tongues down each others throats foe the second half of the film. And having the only two black actors placed as comic relief was lazy and insulting.
On the upside it was awesome seeing proper Optimus Prime as a wagon and as a transformer robot. I never took to the newer design of him. Looked too much like a limo my ride.
If they'd left negative Hollywood stereotypes at the door and created something interesting and relatable I'd have scored it higher.
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
Fun but predictable
The follow up to the surprise hit of the long awaited Jumanji sequel is, well, basic. It has funny parts but it's also very slow moving to begin with. I honestly didn't care about the characters lives outside of the game. Just get in there & be funny!
You have to endure 20 mins of unoriginal apparent teen angst before you get to the fun stuff. But then for 2019 you see the double standards of Hollywood in all their 'family friendly' glory.
Old people are stereotypical dithering imbeciles.
The black guy keeps going on about being black & how he needs to stop hanging around with white people. Apparently this is funny, but I imagine it wouldn't have been had it been said the other way around.
The bad guy posed no threat, he had no purpose really which was a shame.
Unlike the first film the (lol) kids didn't go on a journey of self discovery & got better from it. Instead it was fractured between a 15 year argument between business partners & the lad who decided he was better as a game character than himself. Forget the game, he needs a Psychiatrist.
The film was obviously made on the popularity of its predecessor & it shows. Even though they destroyed the game in the last film it's back, saved for no apparent reason by one of the lads who swore to never go back!
The horse! Very very very cheap trick. It made no sense for a horse to be a playable character, neither got it to be able to fly. All the other animals in Jumanji are real animals (give or take exaggeration on size etc) then there's a flying horse! But of course!
Magic water! Lazy lazy plot device. And it's been set up for a sequel (Gods help us!)
Entertaining: 7/10
Originality: 3/10
Humour: 5/10
Action: 7/10
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
What happened?
I was very excited about seeing this as the trailer made the film look great, classic Tarantino.
*spoiler alert!!!*
Out of the 161 mins runtime I'd say the last 25/30 mins are what you'd come to expect from a Tarantino film. The first 130 mins? I'll be honest I stopped caring very quickly, it was slow & went no where. There seemed to be lots happening to different people with 0 conclusion as to why they were doing what they did, no backstories filled out, no explanation given. Reading the reviews on here I wondered whether we'd seen different films, a lot of people are saying 70's retro cool etc etc, I guess if you're interested in that era then fine, I see why it'd appeal to you visually. I just wish there were a semblance of a story which ran through the whole film. Kill Bill this isn't!
Batman: Hush (2019)
Didn't see that coming.
I'll be honest I thought that the comic had more twists & turns & I was surprised that this was being condensed into one 90minute animated movie. I think to truly do the comics justice it should've been on two parts. Iconic scenes were missed/ altered and the finale seemed to be completely different from what I remember.
That being said, it was highly enjoyable, extremely well acted (great having the continuity from the other films) and I loved Nightwings humour.
It's a keeper. I just wish they'd stayed more faithful to the comics.
Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)
Bored now
In a nutshell, I didn't like it.
Like the first film the bad guy holds it together. Jake Gylenhall is charismatic, funny and holds your attention when he's on screen. It's nothing against Tom Holland or the cast, I certainly couldn't do it. But to date the villains are the main attraction. I love the big screen version of Mysterio, honestly I wasn't too bothered about what was happening when he wasn't around.
Spider-Man, at least this version works great as part of an ensemble. He's a great addition to Captain america Civil War & Avengers but his single movies don't impress me at all.
I know it's the younger years maybe when he's older wiser and more Spidey like I'll enjoy it more. To me it felt like watching a children's film with a few superheroes thrown in to meet the current trend. So far the Spider-Man films have been a dramatic change of tone compared to other Marvel comic films, but they really need to make it more appealing to audiences over the age of 12.
It's cheesy, childish, predicable and pays lip service to previous films.
For me, this is one spider I'd spray with Raid.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
The Last Empire Return to Strike Back at the Jedi
Just as The Force Awakens was A New Hope 2, this most recent instalment in the Star Wars anthology is a mix of Empire Strikes Back & Return of the Jedi.
The most recent trailer actually made it appear to be more exciting that it would eventually turn out to be.
It starts pretty much where the last one left off and plays out pretty much exactly as you'd expect, it's a hand holding story that lacks the excitement or surprises of Episodes IV, V & VI.
Rey's character has lost anything interestign bOUT HRight at the top of this I want to say that I believe that the actors involved in this film did a marvellous job as they did in TFA & there are no critiques of their ability to portray their character.
Just as The Force Awakens was A New Hope 2, this most recent instalment in the Star Wars anthology is a mix of Empire Strikes Back & Return of the Jedi.
The most recent trailer actually made it appear to be more exciting that it would eventually turn out to be. Clever editing.
!!!!!That's not to say the film isn't enjoyable!!!!!
It starts pretty much where the last one left off (a couple of continuity errors aside) and plays out pretty much exactly as you'd expect, it's a hand holding story that lacks the excitement or surprises of Episodes IV, V & VI. But that maybe down to us expecting it to be vastly dissimilar to the original films much like the prequels shudder gave us new characters, surroundings and stories (albeit rather duff ones at times).
Unfortunately the interesting set ups from TFA are largely ignored and plastered over with gumpff essentially!
Rey's character has lost anything interesting about her and becomes a generic almost pattern cut version of Luke from ESB & RotJ. Hopefully her character will be fleshed out more in IX.
Finn has suddenly lost his force powers that were established in TFA also the romantic link between him & Rey has suddenly disappeared to make way for Rose a likeable character who's tough and all heart. Regrettably Finn has essentially ended up in Galactic rom com heist plot where he's demoted from front running hero to comic relief.
It seems that a lot of the characters we started to like in TFA have been given their idiosyncratic personalities from TFA. Poe is cheeky and foolhardy much like Han was, Finn seems to be teetering on a bizarre bipolar chasm where he falls over his shadow then becomes a pigeon chested hero. Rey floats along whimsically after Luke then unleashed her anger every time she fights, making it seem like she's about to turn to the dark side any minute.
****Anyone who wanted any popular fan theories to be true will be bitterly disappointed. If only the studio listened to the fans the films would be full of twists & turns. ****
Usually in the middle film in a Star Wars trilogy some great reveal and romantic entanglement occurs, AotC had Anakin & Padme's marriage as well as debuting the ships that would eventually become the iconic Star Destroyers. ESB had the now infamous "I am your Father!" the 'side swapping ' Lando and Han & Leia's romance. TLJ has two interesting moments that are largely unexpected, but the romance that should be happening between Finn & Rey has been sidestepped for a character who's literally just been introduced & the heroes of the first film downgraded to buddies.
^v^v^v^Spoiler time^v^v^v^
1. Leia using the force! Finally, I, like most fans I'd imagine have waited for this moment since RotJ. Brilliant addition to the film, it complimented the story well, built her character and set up nicely her communicating with Luke.
2. Finn's show down with Phasma. Given that so much spin was put on the Phasma character in TFA I expected something epic, what we got was a quick brawl after too many scoops post derby game! Disappointing.
3. Yoda, well it wouldn't be Star Wars without the cute Jedi Gremlin. It's a shame they didn't CGI in Alec Guniness as they did Carrie Fisher in Rogue One.
4. Snoke! I was genuinely surprised by this, It did feel like an alternative ending from RotJ but wow! It's also a very brave way to go especially showing the rivalry between the two Emo leaders of the Empire/First Order.
5. Symbolism! Anakins/Lukes blue lightsaber being pulled in half seems to show the end of the Skywalker family dramas (I hope so) but so late on in the second part of a trilogy. This only seems to open up for yet another trilogy to be announced at a later date following the exploits of these newer characters. *Also Luke's intention to join the Force is apparent when he mimics Ben Kenobi when taking his hood off to see R2. The biggest is obviously the 2 Suns setting on the Skywalkers.
6. Reys parents! Is this a ruse? There was so much stress on 'Who is this magic girl?' the obvious was completely lost. Personally I felt this was a cop out, not as much as it would've been if it'd been revealed that somehow she's a Skywalker. But Kylo Ren/Ben Solo did state her parents were just scavengers like her & nothing special at all. There were various fan theories out there and practically any would've been better than this.
7. Luke joins the Force! This should've been sad, but it was actually laid out in breadcrumbs from the beginning, this was not a surprise, it was 'nice' it wasn't emotional like Han's death was (although that was obvious too) Luke was our hero from the original films and we waited the whole of TFA to get a glimpse of him. I'm glad they did it this way he's come full circle into the new Ben Kenobi.
8. Humour, although some of it was excellent, Lukes reaction to seeing his Fathers original lightsaber. Priceless. There were other parts that were too 'Marvel humour' and although may have raised a smile felt out of place in an ultimately dark and emotional instalment to the anthology.
9. The 'easter eggs' enough now! We get that there was inspiration from ANH in TFA we get that ESB & RotJ also inspired some scenes in TLJ but enough is enough now, so much time has been wasted repeating icon scenes/plot points/storylines that the new characters haven't really had the time to take centre stage, these new films are still very much about Luke, Han & Leia, amazing as those characters are we're two movies into the trilogy and i don't feel like i know the central characters Finn & Rey anymore than i did by the end of the TFA. So ALL their characters development/motivation etc will have to come out in IX.
It feels to me like Disney are doing this purely so set the stage for another trilogy after this taking us up to XII just so we can have stories revolving around the newcomers.
Death Note (2017)
Another disastrous American remake of a Japanese classic. ALTP= VOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!
I'm just going to come out & say it! Hollywood, STOP remaking Chinese/Japanese Anime/Horror films. You miss the point EVERY time, you cast on actor popularity rather than talent, you twist & change the events of the films to meet 'western' standards. It's painfully obvious from every one of the remakes that you don't understand the source material. It's also obvious that these series/films are set in such a way to make everything come together, character development, atmosphere, cinematography, soundtrack, & you miss everyone of these markers! Give up please it's embarrassing!
This latest 'remake' is the worst i've seen since 'The Departed' at first I thought it was a comedy as the actor playing Light was extremely funny to watch. It felt like I was watching a Disney channel movie with OTT bloody & gore. Basically, 99.9% of this movie was utter BS! Willem Dafoe's voice was the best thing about this movie! A VOICE!!!!!!!! No one was cast correctly. Light & L's personality was the complete opposite from the Anime. It's like making a film with Batman & The Joker but allowing the actors to 'interpret' their personality & relationship. It did not work at all. Mia was just an annoyance that wasn't needed since her story wasn't added to the film at all! In fact, with the exception of Ryuk & the Death Note every single thing was incorrect. It was horrific embarrassing & a waste of time.
Watch the Anime, it's the original and best. Anyone who's never seen the original may give this 3- 4, anything more is insanely generous given the haphazard approach to making this film.
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Did I miss something??
I love Spidey, I grew up reading his comics (I have a massive collection somewhere) hearing that Spidey was appearing in Captain America: Civil War made my year, & he was amazing, funny, cheeky & seemingly in control of his abilities & how to handle himself. The Spidey sequence in CW is one of my favourites in the MCU, beaten only by Hulk punch after he & Thor bring down the alien whale in Avengers. So in my eyes for that sequence Spidey was right on the money.
Now he has his own film, set after CW & he apparently has no idea what he's doing, no clue on how to fight, & doesn't seem to know or understand the limits of his abilities. What went wrong? I'm not bothered about the race thing, it's 2017 so we should see a bit of diversity in comparison to when these comics first came about & who their target audiences were so that's cool with me, however, how do you get MJ from Michelle? Is this one of the many alternate Spidey Timelines cause that's just confusing as all hell!? MJ was always Mary Jane - I don't care if she's white, black, pink, blue or a duck MJ was never Michelle.
Vulture, great to see him on the screen at last & Michael Keaton just stole the show in this movie as far as I was concerned. But, why did the love interest have to be his daughter? Why did he need to find out who spied was? Even if he kept it to himself there's no need. & Aunt May????? No need Marvel, NO NEED!!!
If the film had less Tony Stark & gadgets it may have been a better Spidey Movie.
There was so much pomp & circumstance about this being the first Spidey movie in the MCU, I'm afraid that I saw no difference to this movie & the countless others that've been duped out over recent years. I'd hoped it would've been like the comics, it wasn't, it was a whole new entity. & I didn't enjoy it as I believe I should've done.
Credit where credit's due, the actors were really good & some of the Spidey myths were dealt with in this movie, more notably how long his webbing acts for & when he's not near tall structure he can't swing around.
Pay to see it if you want, but i'd suggest you wait until it's available to rent, it's no where near grande enough (in my eyes) to justify the cost of a cinema ticket.
The Mummy (2017)
Dark Universe indeed
I feel so sorry for Sofia Boutella, she was the best part of this train wreck of a movie. She was dark, seductive and sexy as the psychopathic Egyptian Princes Ahmanet. Considering the film was about her she got very little screen time, instead we were forced to follow the absolutely horrific and awkward exchanges between Tom Cruise & Annabelle Wallis characters. Honestly there was absolutely no chemistry between them at all, it was like watching your mate failing at pulling for what seemed like an eternity.
Jake Johnson would've made great comic relief had his character been built up instead to passed over.
Basically Tom & Jake's characters are 'soldiers' tomb raiders who find a tomb of the Mummy & enter the worlds worst archaeologist Annabelle Wallis's character whining screaming (seriously she does nothing for women's rights) & getting her history wrong throughout the whole film.
Tom's character in true American style shoots first then regrets his actions after unwittingly raising Ahmanet & thus begins the pain. The old movie formula of killing the black guy first is back (thank you progress). Annabelle Wallis's 'archaeologist' claims that Ahmanet is from the New Kingdom, but saws she's 5,000 years old instead of 3,000 years old. Also The only female Pharaohs were from the Middle Kingdom then the Ptolomeic period for ruling Queens. Also Set is not the Egyptian God of Death, that would be Anubis but they must've thought he would be a good bad guy after he was the main antagonist in Gods of Ancient Egypt. (basically Ancient Egypt does Power Rangers)
Tom's character is resurrected inexplicably then started seeing his dead mate (American Werewolf in London style)
Just when you think it's finally going somewhere we get to meet Henry Jekyll (Russell Crowe) & see a plethora of Universal monsters in jars, & a nod to Stephen Sommers 1999 reboot with Arnold Vosloo & Brendan Fraser.
Sorry the film continues, more action sequences, running, lots of running, oh Ahmanet is back, here comes the sand & then it all goes quiet again for a bit.
After a thrill-less finale we see Tom Cruise's character somehow outwit Set the so-called Egyptian God of Death who's now possessed him. He resurrects archaeologist whinge bag & vanishes probably to be brought back for more running & godawful acting in a sequel/sequels!
******See the original, see the 1999 reboot, maybe even watch the bad sequel Mummy Returns from 2001, don't waste your money on this. *******
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
A pirates life for me.
As far as I am concerned Dean Men Tell No Tales (as it should be called) was a little better than Stranger Tides but not as good as Curse of the Black Pearl. It was a riotous romp through the Caribbean with the lovable Jack Sparrow & the new pretty things, Carina & Henry.
We regrettably don't see Penelope Cruz return for this adventure but we do get Mr & Mrs Turner for a cameo (actually was kind of sweet)
Javier Bardem was the titular bad guy & he absolutely stole the show! If Skyfall taught us anything it was that he's a stellar bad guy & he didn't disappoint as Captain Salazar. He was dark, menacing and played the good guy gone bad perfectly.
There were a few things that didn't add up continuity wise though; pay attention as this is where spoilers come in.
Will Turner; At the end of "Worlds End" Will becomes Captain of the Flying Dutchman & the 'fish curse' is lifted as the crew return to being men once more. At the beginning of "Dead Men Tell No Tales" we meet Will again & he's getting all crusty with barnacles like the old 'fish cursed' crew. He & his little lad (about 10 I'd imagine) are talking about Will's time on the Dutchman as being a curse, although at the end of Worlds End he seemed more than happy to take the role to be with his twice cursed father & do away with Davy Jones. So he totally knew what he was getting into & according to Tia Dalma in "Worlds End" Davy Jones squid appearance is a result of him not doing his duty of ferrying the people who died at sea to the other afterlife. Considering Will was a good guy for the first 3 films why is he suddenly appearing all sea like?
Jacks Compass; As you'll recall in "Dead Mans Chest" Tia Dalma asks Jack if the compass he bartered from her couldn't lead him to Davy Jones Key. However now we see him being given it by his dying Captain in a flashback. That's a big one, I'm not sure why anyone who'd worked on that movie didn't point it out as it disturbs the continuity of the franchise now.
The Trident; OK so this relates to two major points as far as I'm concerned. It has the power to end all curses at sea! If that is indeed the case, how on Earth do Will Turner & a post credit Squid Davy Jones appear to be alive? Firstly Davy Jones in Squid form is a curse brought about by him not doing his duty of ferrying the dead to the afterlife. his heart was stabbed at the end of "Worlds End" and he died subsequently being replaced by Will Turner who had his heart cut out put in a box & left with Elizabeth. So breaking the Trident ends all sea curses but does it also bring the dead back to life? Salazar & his men returned to their mortal states even though they clearly all died after their first encounter with Jack Sparrow. So Will returned to his mortal self with his heart reappearing inside him, otherwise he's be dead. Lets address post credits Davy Jones! How? It's not possible! 1: He's dead & 2: the Trident lifted all sea curses & Davy Jones curse was tied to the sea as was his 'fish curse'. So how is it possible that he's come back from the great fishy beyond in Squid form to haunt the Turners?
The Black Pearl in a Bottle; From what I remember from "Stranger Tides" there was a storm going on in the bottle, yet now all seems to be quite calm.
Once Upon a Time (2011)
A charming fairytale adventure.
This got me hooked from the first series Regina/The Evil Queen, without a doubt the best fresh villain on TV at the time. The show is a fun campy adventure into the lives (strangely tangled though) of the heroes & villains of most well know fairy tales/Disney cartoon films. It does however get to the point when you think, can they go home now they've earned it. I love the fairy tale element, however as the series are progressed less & less of the other fairy tale folk stories are being told, where now (circa series 3) it's basically the Charming show which as endearing as they are, week after week of their perky "We're heroes we must set an example"blah blah blah does make me think how nice it'd be to find out more about Dr Hopper's past adventures & how he got Pongo. What's happening with he other Dwarfs & their back stories, Series 1 had a great backstory for Grumpy. We started to see more characters appear but it's mostly as a gesture to please Disney fans as very little is told about them & lets face it in OUAT land everyones lives are so convoluted that for all we know Sebastian the Crab could've been a cursed seaman after a a bad deal with Ursula.
Like I said, I love Reginas character and her relationship with he other characters, but seeing more about them would be a great way to round things off now in series 7.
Casting wise Victoria Smurfit as Cruella De Vil was inspired, I loved her interpretation of my favourite villain, & to be fair of all the villains that've popped up, she's there only one who's genuinely evil. So more of here would be fab.
All in all the show is fun & engaging, it's just done a musical episode which I think has now become a prerequisite since Xena did two musical episodes The Bitter Suite & Lyre Lyre Hearts on Fire & Buffy did Once More with Feeling. I think this is sort of Bitter Suite & Once more melded, you'll understand when you watch it.
Again, the episode if full of fun campy songs & brilliant performances. This series is the best since series 3 I think. I look forward to the concluding episodes & series 7.