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Reviews
Johnny Mnemonic (1995)
I've Seen Worse
For a while I thought this was along the lines of Ishtar or Gigli, but then after watching it all the way through it's not as bad as advertised. If you want to see a bad sci-fi movie, go watch Battlefield Earth, if you want to see a really good sci-fi movie then watch Stargate, if you want to see a semi-good sci-fi movie then see this or Dune.
For me, I had to keep an open mind while the first twenty minutes of the film passed. The parts where I hear were the worst parts (such as the dolphin) didn't make me cringe but more of a "Hmm, that's different" kind of emotion.
Other than what I have mentioned Johnny Mnemonic is far from Blade Runner or The Road Warrior but it is also very distant from Lawnmowerman 2.
Black Christmas (2006)
WTF - A Black Christmas Remake?!
How could this happen? What went wrong? Is Hollywood so dry on ideas that they have to remake all of the low budget horror films from like thirty years ago? I guess so, and that theory proves it with this P.O.S. At first I could see a remake as a good thing (such as John Carpenter's The Thing and Martin Scorsese's version of Cape Fear) then the Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out. Don't get me wrong that one was good, but the rest that came after that (House Of Wax, The Hills Have Eyes, The Hitcher, The Amittyville Horror) were just plain blasphemy. This version of Black Christmas is no different. If any other horror film is to be remade, then were screwed.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
A Great Idea That Went Horribly Wrong. Just A Crying Shame!!!
I remember being little when this movie first came out. When you're about three or four, you think anything done by Superman is great because you never know what good taste is. Looking at this film more recently, I tried to look past the fact the film was a flop. Now that I've seen it as a young man, I know why it sucked. It's not just that the story was weak but the execution needed a drastic overhaul. It's too bad that the film studio didn't put more money into the special effects. I'm not going to mention what I mean by that for legal reason from this site so you'll just have to watch the film and see what I'm talking about. If only Richard Donner could've put in some of his input.
Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (1980)
The True Superman II
I just recently found out about Superman I & II originally being one long film. Then I found out about Richard Lester reshooting several scenes that were already shot. I like this version better because Richard Donner made it a little more serious and the way he wanted it to be. Richard Lester is a good director, but he made Superman II more of a comedy/romance. I like how they made the footage, which has to be about thirty years old, look so great like it was brand new. The only tragedy about the movie is that Christopher Reeve and Marlon Brando didn't live to see this film. Now when I see the expanded Superman, I always put this one on right after it. Finally, the true Superman II as it was supposed to be.
Videodrome (1983)
Cronenberg's finest
It's because of this movie, I've turned into a Cronenberg fanatic. This is the kind of film that will stand the test of time. Cronenberg has always made people die in the most bizarre ways. What blew me away was the special effects. These effects look a whole lot better than CGI and they also look more real. Cronenberg must have been on some sort of drug when he wrote this film, and I want to know what he's on. Videodrome to me is not a pure horror film but a hybrid of horror, science fiction and social satire. Is this what happens when you watch too much T.V.? May Videodrome be forever and ever.
"Death to the Videodrome, long live the new flesh!"
Batman (1989)
A Hero Reborn
This was one of the first movies I wore out when VHS tapes were still the only outlet. The tape wore out so bad I had to buy it again to keep watching it. When you're five years old men dressed in suits and a cape will fascinate you, when you're twenty it still fascinates you.
Michael Keaton makes the perfect Batman. You knew in the beginning when he said "I'm Batman" you knew this wasn't the campy T.V. show, it was the real deal.
Jack Nicholson's portrayal of the most dangerous Batman villain was terrifying. The gigantic smile still gives me the creeps even as a twenty year old. His purple suit is straight out of the comics and even the lethal tricks he does are the same as the comics.
Tim Burton's version gives the Dark Knight the treatment he deserved for years. The way he told the story made it look like it could be placed in real life. I have no idea how his mind works or what he sees in his sleep, but I like it. Batman will live on forever.
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
If watched I recommend the Special Edition
I made the mistake of renting the original version of Highlander 2 and it did suck. Then I read an advertisement showing the release of a Special Edition of the movie.
I actually bought it and loved it. It's not Christopher Lambert or Russell Mulcahy's fault the original sucked so stop blaming them.
The Special Edition was much better than the theatrical version with longer fight scenes, better sounds, and the storyline where immortals are aliens is removed completely. Instead immortals are from a very very distant past where they're sent to the future as punishment and they suffer from amnesia when they arrive forgetting of the prize and immortality.
The Special Edition is the one that should be praised. Write Christopher Lambert and tell him Highlander 2 didn't suck.
Léon (1994)
Powerful, compelling, and original
As I get older it's hard to find movies that's worth my time and energy (not to mention the hard earned cash to buy the DVD). But what drew me to The Professinal was the quick scene on T.V. when Stansfield (Gary Oldman) sends the SWAT team to capture Leon (Jean Reno). Unfortunatlely I only saw two minutes of it before the commercial came on and I was angry because I didn't know what the movie was.
After I saw the film for the first time I was amazed how far and outlandish some of the characters were (more specifically Mathilda and Stansfield). Natalie Portman smoking, swearing like a truck driver, shooting guns, and drinking at eleven? Now that's a movie. The Professional is more proof that Gary Oldman is a perfect villain (aside from Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Fifth Element). I always did wonder what that pill he took from his pocket briefcase was.
I didn't know much about Jean Reno except from his supporting roles in Mission Impossible and Godzilla. This was the role he was born to play. Too bad I can't find any other films where he has the lead role. The chemistry between him and Natalie Portman is what holds the movie together. I found it funny that someone with the profession of killing people for money would be a fan of film musical actor Gene Kelly. I almost shed a tear when Mathilda changed the channel to "Transformers" (They need to bring the original back).
This film makes my movie collection sparkle long with the other greats I have. It's worth multiple views. Even our grandchildren will love this film.
Pitch Black (2000)
A Reason to cheer for the bad guy
In most cases, the villains in movies are made to be hated but for Pitch Black it's different. Vin Diesel is perfect as the villain as his voice is cold and his acting is dark. You couldn't help but to cheer for the villain. The story is similar to Alien but expanded to a greater scale. The killer aliens didn't look threatening at first but after a while their deadliness was up there with the alien from Alien. Cole Hauser's performance would make anyone hate his character. The chemistry between Hasuer and Diesel in their fight scene reminded me of the "grudge match films" such as Demolition Man, Face/Off, Broken Arrow, Universal Soldier, and Virtuosity. The film itself had a shock ending, but I'm not gonna tell you, just go watch it. Better yet, just go buy it. It's worth it.
Demolition Man (1993)
Stallone vs. Snipes/The grudge match of the century
This movie just gives another reason why Stallone is a bad ass. It could also be a precursor for Wesley Snipes in Blade. The storyline is original and even though it doesn't make you think too much it still keeps you watching. One of the few really decent action movies that came out of the '90s (aside from the Van Damme & Schwartzeneger flicks) and I will never get tired of watching it. At this point I'm just waiting for the special edition to come out. Not only is Stallone still a bad ass, but Snipes is almost the perfect villain. The only thing that bothered me is the music selection for the future. Are we really going to only be able to listen to stupid commercials tunes in the future? What also made it entertaining was how Spartan seemed so out of place and everyone jumps when he does something small like a punch. I recommend this to anyone who is in dire need for a kick ass action flick.
Stargate (1994)
CLASSIC. Without a doubt.
Stargate is one of those great movies that hasn't got the respect it deserves. At first I thought the movie was about time travel since they go to a place that is like Ancient Egypt, which didn't really interest me at all. Then I caught an episode of the T.V. show and got curious. When I saw the movie I was blown away. The special effects were ones I had never really seen before (such as opening the Stargate for the first time). I was getting tired of seeing sci-fi movies where every alien race spoke perfect English and I thought I would experience that until the team met with the villagers which I thought was better. It's always cool to see Kurt Russel kicking ass in films. It was also different to see James Spader play the semi-nerdy guy instead of the asshole he mainly plays. I was also amazed when Roland Emmerich chose one of the simplest villains for a movie, an ancient Egyptian god. I watch this movie every week and I never get tired of it.
Universal Soldier (1992)
Possibly one of the greatest sci-fi movie of all time.
Possibly one of the greatest sci-fi movie of all time. It has both explosive action mixed in with humor without over playing either. Dolph Lungren (tragically this was one of his last big movies) did make me laugh with his Quentin Tarantino humor while still being one of the more scary and sick villains. Jean-Claude Van Damme is perfect for the hero against Lungren. It's always interesting how the small guy in the movie always beats up the bigger guy, like the Napoleon complex. This was the first Van Damme film I ever bought when the Special Edition version was released on DVD and I am proud to say it was worth the money I paid for it.
Cyborg (1989)
Far from classic, but enjoyable
Not one of Van Damme's best films, but a good one to watch. The first of his sci-fi movie roles (the better ones are Universal Soldier and Timecop), this takes a different approach than the martial arts tournaments that Jean-Claude Van Damme played in before. It is true that at times the plot is slow and some of the action scenes are cheesy along with some questionable sound effects, but at this point in Van Damme's movie career I don't think he really gives a crap. Compared to such post-apocalyptic films such as The Matrix trilogy, the Mad Max movies or Escape From New York, it falls slightly short. In short, Cyborg is forgettable but it's enjoyable.
Constantine (2005)
The Real Constantine Review
I don't know what it is that everyone sees Keanu Reeves as the worst actor in the world. There are worst out there people! I read the review for his most recient move titled 'Constatine' and that person said that they didn't know much about the comic. In the 'Hellblazer' books, John Constantine is just this dull, average guy who just dabbles in satanism and witchcraft to save the day. His personality is also one of a kind due to Constantine caring more for his own survival than everyone around him. I think the director made a good choice to make Keanu Reeves John Constantine and I'm sticking to my words. For some advise, next time anyone is going to see a movie that is based off of a novel or a comic book, read it first or get yourself familiar with it before you say the movie sucked.