Change Your Image
KlaatuHeartsGort
I enjoy petting cats, throwing sticks for dogs, and eating babies (yum!).
Most people say I look good in yoga pants.
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Explained: Cryptocurrency (2018)
A show called "Explained" hardly explains anything
Some questions I was hoping this show would address:
How is the value of cryptocurrency determined?
What is cryptocurrency "mining," and how is it done?
How does one spend cryptocurrency in a "mom-and-pop" store?
Has a blockchain ever been hacked?
Has a hacker ever successfully robbed someone else's cryptocurrency?
Do all cryptocurrencies use the same blockchain?
How does an individual or private entity go about offering/selling a new cryptocurrency?
Unfortunately, the show didn't answer any of these questions. In fact, everything "explained" in this episode is basically just common knowledge.
The Starling (2021)
Three great actors and one crappy script
I give this movie three stars: one for each awesome actor. Unfortunately in The Starling, Melissa McCarthy, Chris O'Dowd, and Kevin Kline were given a weak script with which to work their craft. The story shamelessly invokes the mawkish pathos of losing an infant to SIDS as justification for bewildering and idiotic behavior in its two main characters.
I have known couples who have lost a child to SIDS; they grieved, and then they moved on to have another child. My own parents struggled with the loss of my brother, but thankfully they were made of better stuff than Lilly and Jack. As I watched The Starling, I couldn't help thinking that it was probably for the best that Lilly and Jack not have children, anyway.
Top Secret UFO Projects: Declassified (2021)
Lame
As soon as I saw Adamski's story get mentioned as anything more than laughable, I turned it off (people living on Venus?! In a 460-°C, 1400-psi atmosphere of CO2 and sulfuric acid? No. Just - no). It's not that I don't believe there there isn't something substantive to the millions of legit UFO sightings out there (yes, millions - Hell, I've seen 'em myself, and I'm a "trained observer" to boot). But this show does nothing to further the understanding of the UFO phenomenon, and in fact helps to discredit legitimate claims made by sincere observers. I wonder if the producer was paid by "interested parties" to make this dreck for the sole purpose of deligitimizing the curiosity of UFO enthusiasts.
It's All Gone Pete Tong (2004)
The movie might get better, but I'll never know...
...because the first twenty minutes were so insipid, banal, and potty-humoresque that I turned it off and found something better to do. Apparently, some reviewers find the thought of a celebrity (repeatedly) puking into people's ears hilarious. I might have too if my sense of humor had not developed past what I had as a four-year old. The whole premise of this stinker at least starts as a cheap (and I do mean -cheap-) rip off of "This Is Spinal Tap," but with less acting and/or musical talent, and absolutely infantile writing.
"It's All Gone Pete Tong" honestly earns its one-star rating from me - it is unwatchable.
Vikings (2013)
Could have been so much better
While Ragnar still lived, "Vikings" was phenomenal. Even though the writers had to do a "mash up" of historical figures and events to make a story, the story itself was actually pretty true to the backbone of Viking history. The events and characters all had a kernel of truth to them that lent depth and texture to the story line. Besides, the history of the Vikings is already so interesting that it needs no embellishment to make itself entertaining.
However, after Ragnar died, the wheels quickly came off the axle, and "Vikings" ground to a halt as TV worth watching. The saddest part is that if the writers had simply stayed the course with their original approach, "Vikings" would've continued to be an excellent historical drama. The story lines of the real Alfred the Great, or Bishop Heahmund, or Brorn Ironsides, etc., are so much more interesting than what the writers of the later seasons of "Vikings" saw fit to portray.
By the way, the -real- Ivar the Boneless was a -minor- historical figure who died in England. Killing off Ivar and burying him in England might have saved "Vikings." Instead, the writers saw fit to corrupt the story line with a protracted idiotic and unbelievable plot surrounding a completely unsympathetic Ivar whose presence turned the show into unwatchable dreck.
Zappa (2020)
Zappa behind the curtain
I have been a lover of Frank Zappa's music since the late 70's. In the Fall of 1977, a friend asked me if I had ever listened to Frank Zappa, and I responded with disgust, relating to him the (false) urban legend of Zappa winning a "gross-out" contest with Alice Cooper by eating one of Cooper's own fresh turds on-stage. Without another word, my friend jumped up and put an album on - I didn't see (or ask) what album it was. After the first minute or so of music, I was really digging it, so I asked my friend who the artist was. "Frank Zappa," he replied (the album was "Roxy and Elsewhere," the side with "Village of the Sun" on it).
I was transfixed - I spent the rest of the afternoon in my friend's dorm room, cutting classes and going through my friend's Zappa albums. I have been a "Zappacolyte" ever since.
Winter's documentary offers a view of Frank Zappa as seen "from behind the curtain." There are loads of interviews with Frank, but also with Gail Zappa and with many members of Frank's bands over the years, as well as with friends and associates (for example, Alice Cooper appears in the movie). I found the interviews of Ruth Underwood and Steve Vai particularly insightful and touching. Along with the interviews, a huge treasure trove of footage is presented which is edited and spliced perfectly with the voice-overs.
Thankfully, Winter worked extra-hard to show us the "real" Frank Zappa. To do anything less would've allowed the movie to descend into a hagiography that would've been the ultimate insult to the memory of a unique genius like Frank.
"Zappa" starts somewhat slowly and perhaps a little pedantically, but this helps to lay the foundation for the presentation of Frank's later years. By the end, I had tears in my eyes as Winter's biography culminated in a heartfelt yet "open-eyed" tribute to one of the greatest musicians, composers, and spokesmen of our time.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
Star Dreck
There are no spoilers in this review because there is no plot in this show to "spoil."
"Dreck" is the German word for "dirt," "filth," "muck," etc. Thus, I would suggest to the producers of STD that they rename their show "Star Dreck: Discovery." Doing so would at least represent a faithful adherence to Truth in Advertising. To call this show Star Trek: (anything) is a disservice to its viewers, and an insult to the memory of the great visionary Gene Roddenberry. Not only does STD break from the Star Trek universe in virtually every way possible (an act that in itself constitutes a sin for -any- supposed prequel of an established story line), it doesn't even have the excuse of improving the story when it does so. So we're left with a show that stoops to invoking the honored Star Trek franchise name in order to peddle a product that is poorly written, poorly acted, poorly directed, and quite frankly, boring and vapid.
You couldn't -pay- me to watch this Dreck.
The Orville (2017)
A Star Trek that is true to Roddenberry's vision
Having just finished watching the whole first season of The Orville, I'm hooked. The show is well-made, with entertaining plots that are not too whimsical or comedic, and a production quality that is very good: great sets, great makeup, excellent CGI, and even a superb fully orchestrated score. The acting is surprisingly nuanced, with a perfect blend of humor and serious-as-a-heart-attack pathos.
I am convinced that Macfarlane is a true Star Trek fan. The Orville is not just an homage to Star Trek, it -is- Star Trek in the best ways possible. It incorporates Roddenberry's idealism, but also shows the conflict and humor that can result when idealism encounters human frailty. For one, I think of The Orville as letting us see what the crews would be like on some of the "lesser" space ships in the Federation fleet. If you think about it, the rest of the fleet probably thought of the Enterprise crew as being a bunch of prigs!
My wife - who could never be called a "Trekkie" - likes the show almost as much as I do (I say "almost" because I think some of the Trek-based subtleties may not be as intriguing to her as they are to me). This is proof enough for me that The Orville is a great show, because she's a much more demanding viewer than I am, especially when it comes to science fiction.