nickallford-05327 Reviews

Fear Pharm (2020)

FEAR PHARM REVIEW

[23 May 2022]

The beauty of the slasher subgenre is that they don't always have to be good movies to be great movies. Performances can be hokey, FX can be cheap and silly, the plot can be ridiculous, and it all still adds up to a great viewing experience. Well-executed slashers and the ones that wildly miss the mark can be just as entertaining as the other.

With an "intense" Texas Chainsaw style poster, where does Fear Pharm land? The poster is and isn't a mislead. The movie IS about a strange family that is hunting and abducting teens for their own twisted reason. The movie isn't nearly as intense as the best Texas Chainsaw movies, and it does try to be a bit lighter and intentionally add some comic elements. Nowhere near the pitch-black comedy of Tobe Hooper's original or the OTT style of its sequel though. For me the humour didn't land. This is mostly since it makes the cardinal slasher sin of all the main group of teens being obnoxious. They also make several "meta" horror movies references in their early interactions ("Are we done with the expositional dialogue?") which makes sense in a Scream movie or Cabin In The Woods because it's part of the larger story. Here it is because one of the teens is an actor for some reason. A role that serves no further function in the plot. It's difficult to have fun with characters when they are so unlikable.

There's a similar problem when it comes to the villainous family. With the Sawyers from Texas Chainsaw or the Firefly clan from House of 1000 Corpses, the audience could delight in how wonderfully depraved these people are. Apart from their costumes there is nothing particularly interesting about the Fear Pharm family, and at times I found myself wishing I was having as much fun watching as the actors clearly were playing their roles.

Fear Pharm does get down to business quickly, opening with the traditional slasher tropes of gore and nudity and there's a fun but very brief sequence (the only highlight for me) involving a cheerleader being chased through a corn field by two clowns in an ice-cream truck with a harpoon gun! I wish the rest of the movie was as insane as the end of that sentence. And that's the problem. Fear Pharm is not an extremely well-executed slasher, nor is it bonkers and wild enough to still be a really good time. Sadly, my worst fear was realised with this one. That I'm watching a movie from my most beloved sub-genre that I can't recommend.

• DREW

@WatchItWombat.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Has Marvel Missed The Mark?

[6/10 · 3 May 2022]

The first movie is well regarded for its mind bending visuals, and under director Sam Raimi, this sequel doubles down, dialling up the horror, the fan service, as well as adding some gruesome and shocking fight scenes we've not seen in a Marvel property before (they were awesome!!).

Although just because you can do anything and go anywhere, doesn't mean you should - the script isn't great (the villian is particularly unsympathetic), the score is peak 90s, it's sometimes hard to work out what's going on & the emotional/heart side is too simplistic for an established set of characters. Oh and it should have been funnier.

For fans, it's a big swing, and while not everything works (again, thanks script) enough connects to make it a reasonably fun, wild ride... that, and it's good to see the world's biggest franchise trying new things.

• BEN

@WatchItWombat.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

Better than the first two?

[8/10 · 6 April 2022]

I wasn't wowed by the first two films, they felt too convoluted and unnecessarily cryptic (although both improved with a rewatch).

This third instalment was a lot more straight forward and I enjoyed going with the flow instead of spending my time trying to work out who the bad guys were - or what was the purpose of it all.

Despite having some exquisite CGI it felt like a return to more traditional cinema, with lavish costumes, great score and detailed sets to help fully immerse you in both the magical and muggle worlds.

Thanks to the writing, direction and performances - this film had a lot of heart. With the focus placed firmly on relationships and characters, of which there were probably too many and rarely did they contribute to the plot.

It goes without saying that fans of the first two will love it. First timers should still enjoy the story and the spectacle.

I recommend watching this on the big screen even if you haven't seen the first two. In fact they make more sense as prequels to this instalment.

Ambulance (2022)

Is this just another car chase movie?

[6 April 2022]

Firstly - this film was LONG. If you could chop out 30 minutes of car chase, it would make for a better viewing experience. The story does kick off well, with engaging main characters and contemporary complications such as debt, family issues and history. If you occupy the Venn diagram of Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Bay, you will like this movie. There's some typical Michael Bay tropes, with a demolished car count that likely surpasses any human casualties. Unfortunately the lengthy chases detracted from any substantial character development, although Eiza González was a standout as the kidnapped paramedic. Similarly, Gyllenhaal's character will undoubtedly impress viewers with his slowly devolving sanity. Overall, it's a standard Bay film which heroes the police, miltary and protective services, and which asks viewers to believe that "glamorous" crime is one of the biggest exports of American cinema. I'm glad I saw it once, but I doubt I'd ever see it again.

• Jayne

@WatchItWombat.

Rabbit Academy: Mission Eggpossible (2022)

RABBIT ACADEMY: MISSION EGGPOSSIBLE

[20 March 2022]

Best for the littlest moviegoers (4-7), this German-Austrian toon is amiable but basic, offering not much for adults who'll be sneaking regular scrolls on their phones. The animation is pretty, but dated; the characters cute, but vanilla, dubbed by a squad of Canadian-sounding voice actors who don't exactly set the genre alight. Centered around lessons of trust and teamwork, it's weirdly plotted: half these fuzzy critters use magic to save the day, while the street-styled bunny baddies use drones (!) and smartphones. But my 4 year old boy was rapt throughout, so for parents looking for that Easter holiday distraction: load up your baskets.

Black Friday (III) (2021)

Black Friday Review

[8 March 2022]

Horror and holidays go together like escaped asylum patients and Santa suits. With many popular dates taken, it's time for the genre to celebrate Black Friday! There are horror veterans who are clearly invested here and giving it their all. Bruce Campbell as a cowardly regional manager plays against his Ash type (we already have 3 movies and 3 seasons of TV to "hail to the king, Baby!"). After the Chucky TV Series, and exceptional Hunter Hunter, living Casper, Devon Sawa continues to establish himself as a Scream King. Michael Jai White brings the muscle.

The first half of the movie didn't completely work for me, although there are some great oozy practical FX. The story seemed rushed and pieces missing, which could've been due to lack of budget and time. Luckily, the plot is simple, and viewers can piece it together if interested. I was left wanting more comedy, or scares or over-the-top gore to compensate.

But... In the second half, the employees hunker down in the backroom, the actors have more time to shine, and everything seems to click. There are also fun set pieces with the main monster, a glorious 80s style person in a rubber suit and make-up! Any budget reserved in the first half is then let loose for a wonderful b-grade finale that is the definition of go big or go home. I was reminded of the Feast trilogy from the mid-2000s. It may not be a yearly tradition, but worth a look for low budget genre fans and retail workers who have ever wanted to beat monstrous customers to death with a toy unicorn!

-Drew @WatchItWombat.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) Review

[18 February 2022]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a clunky franchise with currently nine entries that I enjoy to varying degrees. Tobe Hooper's original is a nightmare, fever dream masterpiece that none of its sequels can live up to. There is no way to repeat this insane lightening in a bottle - unless you have the maniacal master that is Hooper at the helm and an insane low budget shooting schedule with rotting meat on the table in the middle of the blistering Texas heat!

The latest sequel is testament to this. In the original sequel (also directed by Hooper), the Cook proclaims to Leatherface, "the saw is family." Future sequel screenwriters need to understand that the family is also (chain)saw (the cook, the hitchhiker). It isn't Leatherface alone that makes the first film (or the batty sequels 2 - 4 somewhat) iconic. It's also the family of cannibals (Chop Top, Viggo Mortensen's Tex, Matthew McConaughey's Vilmer) that makes them special. Even the Michael Bay produced remake and its prequel understood this (Tea Lady, the great R. Lee Ermey's Sheriff Hoyt).

The latest straight to Netflix entry makes the same mistakes as the previous two entries and measures up about the same. It drops the wild family members and cannibalism angle and focuses solely on Leatherface. What we're left with is a B-grade legacy storyline that sees the brief return of original final girl Sally Hardestry. The role is recast (R. I. P Marilyn Burns) and the brief stand-off with Leatherface is enjoyable but her final girl status isn't treated with the same respect afforded to the recent Halloweens' Laure Strode.

We end up with a "straight-to-video" style Texas Chainsaw sequel with beautiful visuals, a muddled storyline and some fun, cheap grisly gore. The movie is just fine with a crazy pants Nightmare On Elm St style coda but lacking the elements that create a wholly satisfying Texas Chainsaw story. This is passable Friday night slasher fodder but it's difficult to announce that the buzz is back!

• DREW

@WatchItWombat.