Change Your Image
chrislutz-64670
Reviews
Miracle Mile (1988)
Interesting but totally unbelievable
I stumbled across this film streaming online. It does keep your attention. That is through the increasing insanity of the film. Once the protagonist gets the phone call about WWIII starting and the US getting blasted in 70 minutes, the nuttiness meter turns upwards at an ever-increasing pace. He tells everyone in the diner. One of the patrons happens to have an early cellphone and confirms. Everyone in the diner believes this and it is a sudden rush to get to a plane that lady is arranging for them. What?!? She can just bring along anyone? Meanwhile, our Hero must go save his True Love. Lady tells him there will be a helicopter to get them to the airport on top of one building. The problem here is 70 minutes is probably just enough time to get you to the helicopter, then the airport, and then take off with enough time to escape the blast zone. Instead, the rest of the film is a bizarre chain of events as the Hero makes one irrational decision after another. In other words, as a viewer, Hero and True Love were dead already.
Harlan Coben's Shelter (2023)
First Three Episode and Cliches Everywhere
First of all, the vulgarity is ridiculous. The characters sound like mental midgets who are unable to say anything interesting. The writers obviously are unable to write competent dialog.
Every character is a cliche. Their relationships just appear for no reason. It becomes, these characters are friends because IITS (It's in the script.)
Oh look, the white sports guy and his father are bullies. Although pounding on the door of someone you don't know in the middle of the night will get any teen run down to the station for pickup by a parent. But, they are white and therefore at best suspect.
Finally, in episode 3, we find out the villain is an actual 1940's Nazi.
Everything about this show is lazy.
Greyhound (2020)
Good movie that doesn't overstay its welcome.
Based on the book, "The Good Shepherd," Greyhound does a pretty good job of following the book and making some interesting changes. Overall this is a taut, personal war movie. I appreciate that they didn't try to pad it out for another 20-30 minutes. It told its story and was done.
The action is well done. The effects are solid. The biggest weakness is Tom Hanks. He's too old for the part and it shows at times. They needed someone in his late 30's to early 40's.
I recommend this movie.
Ready or Not (2019)
Nice Idea, Horrible Execution
Sometimes you have to wonder what is going through the minds of the people who make films like this. I have to imagine it went along the lines of "We have a great concept!" Then, "Let's ruin it with banal dialog and poor execution!" They went running after that.
A film like this requires sharp dialog to work. Constantly dropping F-bombs does not meet that requirement. It's not even inventive swearing. It's just F-this and F-that. There's nothing witty, deep, or interesting in the conversations.
Meanwhile, a lot of the jokes simply don't work. They leave you wondering about the massive incompetence of all involved. While that could work, it killed any tension that the bride was in any serious danger.
Of course another problem is the film's tone is all over the place.
It is a bad film.
Amerika (1987)
Big Budget 80's Miniseries that Flops
I remember watching this back in the day and tried to rewatch it recently. It's still bad. You can see what they are trying to do and the concept isn't bad. However, it is handled poorly and in the most bland manner possible.
You never get a good idea of how this all happened and that is necessary for a film like this.
Meanwhile, the personal stories are dull and uninteresting. None of the characters are ones you want to root for.
Scenes are padded out to extend the length of the series for no apparent reason. Two or three hours could easily be trimmed.
Sadly, it is a depressing and dull series.
Another Life (2019)
Sending the Brady Bunch would have been better
There are no words to describe how bad this show is. In the old days, when there was still some intelligence in this country, someone would have killed this series as episode one. Who in their right mind thought this was a good idea?
Rim of the World (2019)
Let's Pay Homage to Spielberg with a Trash Movie
This film is horrible. Foul, crude, and incompetent are the only possible descriptions. I'm as willing as the next person to turn off the brain and enjoy a popcorn flick. However, the only way to enjoy this film is to have your brain completely removed.
Supposedly the movie is paying homage to the 80's and 90's sci-fi films. I didn't think anyone could do worse than JJ's Super 8 attempt. Well, the people involved said "Hold my beer" and proceeded to succeed. All it does is highlight how remarkable of job the Duffer brothers did Stranger Things.
Ignore the good ratings. Those people are the crass barbarians who think foul language, scatological humor, and sexual innuendo are the height of humor. Really, they are the citizens of Idiocracy.
Bird Box (2018)
It's going to be compare to the other recent movie...
It's not fair and this movie is from a book from 2014. However, the premise to both A Quite Place and Bird Box stories is similar. Therefore, it does allow comparisons between the two.
Both films involve forces that aren't explained and really it is fine that they aren't. Both also deal with rules, that let's face it, are full of logical inconsistencies. Which, being a horror film, I am also willing to accept within reason. Actually, A Quiet Place comes far closer to pushing the inconsistencies too far than this film. Acting and technical skills are both fine. So, why does Bird Box fail?
Family issues are at the heart of the films. Bird Box just never works at that level. Bullock just never sells it. For having had kids for five years, she still seems clueless and would terrify them more than anything. They would all die. We're supposed to be happy that she finally learns to love them at the end. However, it just never feels natural.
Next, the characters in Bird Box are paint-by-the-numbers. You have the appropriate demographic spread. They check off all the boxes and you are waiting for the death box to be checked as they die. It is made all the more predictable by flashing forward to the last part of the film.
In the end, it is all uninspired and pedestrian.
2036 Origin Unknown (2018)
Remember the 90's Outer Limits
This is what this is. It's the equivalent of a two part TV episode of the 90's Outer Limits.
- Low budget effects
- B-list lead
- Convoluted story
- Humanity, oh the evil humanity
I was willing to accept it on those terms but the ending is simply horrible.
Psych: The Movie (2017)
What happened!?!
Sadly, this film never gets going. I always enjoyed Psych although the last couple of seasons of the series it was losing its mojo. This film though is a debacle from the start. The problem is they throw Shawn's character backwards development wise from the end of the series. He's back to being an irresponsible man-child who still hasn't married Juliette. It doesn't work.
The jokes are often forced, and the characters of Juliette and Heny get butchered.
Finally, the plot is a mess. Too many characters involved with no real purpose. Woody really needed to either get a quick moment or not appear at all. He was always only acceptable in small doses. Chief's daughter subplot needed axed. The whole script just felt like a bunch of separate ideas cobbled together.
One little point that didn't affect my review but I thought was a missed opportunity. They needed Monk to at least make a cameo.
The only reason I am giving it a five is because I think Omundson's health problems messed up what they had planned. He always provided a foil to the guys and that is seriously missing here.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
Ruining Your Protagonist
One thing that is going to kill STD is that they have made their protagonist unlikable and so morally flawed as to be irredeemable as a character. Her traits on the show are arrogant, unstable, incompetent, traitorous, and poor judgment. She leads a mutiny, arrogantly estimates when a storm will arrive down to the second and is completely wrong, and starts a war with the Klingons. As a character, you can't come back from that. If you do come back from it, it is as an example for others as what not to do and you are cleaning the toilets on the ship.
This isn't a nuanced character. Loki and Jayne are flawed, yet nuanced characters. Burnham is a flaming dumpster fire. She's arrogant but can't back it up. She can't follow orders. There is nothing about her that you can like.
Because of that, they killed the show right from the start. A show can survive an unlikable secondary character but not the protagonist.