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Reviews
Elvis (2022)
We walked out!
It's been over 25 years since I've walked out of a cinema mid movie.
My mum always had Elvis playing in the background, so I was looking forward to seeing Baz Luhrmann's showcase. What a disappointment.
I was a bit sceptical, to begin with, as there were only 2 other people in the cinema, but the crowd increased to 6, once the movie started. I was expecting the cinema to be full, but I reminded myself that I'm 50, and the movie might not be for a younger audience.
Honestly, I felt like the movie was made by DC Comics. It was just scattered, with way too many scenes, and they had music that did not fit he film. Why would they put rap music in the background?
I'm a fan on Tom Hanks, but that accent was like nails on a blackboard.
The best of the film is when we walked out. At least we could go home and wash our eyes with lemon juice.
Great White (2021)
Plane awful (pun intended)
If you are Australian, you'll have a fair idea who Alf Stewart is. Well, it's like the screenplay was written by him, whilst he was one day from retiring, so there could be no retribution.
By calling this movie "terrible", you are giving it a compliment. The CGI was done by the work experience kid, the acting lessons were provided free of charge from Steven Hawkings' stunt double.
The movie was categorised as a horror. That's the only thing they got right, as horror was short for horrible.
How to Stay Married (2018)
Lemon Juice Straight to the Eyes
I have never written a review before, as I just leave a star rating instead, but i had to warn people before they embarked on the this series.
If you have a chance of spending 8 hours straight in the blistering sun, and wear no sunscreen, then that night you rub Vix vapour rub on your blistering skin, that will still be more enjoyable than this Australian comedy. Seriously, I felt embarrassed for Australian T. V and these actors.
Don't do it, it's just not worth hurting your eyes.
Sex on the Streets (2019)
Very biased
One of the worst documentaries I've seen about prostitution. Storm Huntley has an agenda, and it was strongly against the world's oldest profession.
There is better documentaries that isn't one sided.