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Assassinaut (2019)

Should be zero stars

[1/10 · 10 August 2020]

Hello. Let me start by saying that anyone who rated this higher than one star is being too nice. I actually saw one person give it 9/10 stars so I'm assuming that they are either a member of the cast/crew or this is the first movie they've ever seen.

I've watched a lot of awful movies but this one is so terrible that it's not worth talking about. Just forget it exists and move on to literally any other movie.

The writer/director of this makes Ed Wood look like Francis Ford Coppola.

All I Need (2016)

Frustrating, yes. Entertaining, no.

[1/10 · 8 February 2017]

There is only one question I ask myself after watching a movie and that is "Was I entertained?". In the case of this movie I was not.

So, is the movie well made technically? I would say yes. There are some nice shots, interesting camera angles, blah blah blah. Does anyone really care about technical details if the story, acting, plot are all awful?

You don't need me to tell you why I personally disliked this movie. All you need to know is that after sitting through it I felt a sudden urge to try and prevent others from the same poor experience. I sacrificed over 85 minutes of my own life to bring you this review. Please don't let it be in vain.

Please note that my 1 out of 10 vote is based solely on entertainment value and does not consider what I feel to be less vital details such as production values, camera work, sound track, etc. After all, the best prepared turd sandwich in the world is still a turd sandwich.