info-31034 Reviews

Before Dawn (2013)

I don't get it

[2/10 · 24 January 2017]

Someone urged me to watch this movie because they had seen it at a festiival a few years ago, but I couldn't find it anywhere, luckily a stream into UKs Horror Channel provided through Film On allowed me to see this.

The guy that makes the movie is the same guy who made a Bait which I really enjoyed, but this is a whole different ballgame. For some unknown reason the cast were not recorded (sound) at the time of shooting, yes they say the lines but clearly no sound guy was tasked with recording actual audio. Therefore all that is done post filming, I believe they call it adr. This was awful there is no background sounds, everything deathly quiet. Worse still the performances because of the soap opera style approach to horror feel removed. Don't get me wrong performances are good, the film is quite good because it's a thinking zombie movie, it's different. But this whole sound issue, it does not allow you to fully engage in the film. You just simply don't feel that level of attachment. Because I could not get into the zone, the film simply does not work for me on any level.

Strippers vs Werewolves (2012)

It's awful, but enjoyable!

[5/10 · 22 January 2017]

OK so I'm dividing the populous here, I really quite enjoyed this film. Yes it's awful, yes it's flawed but you have to look beyond the acting, effects etc etc. As a story disputes the terrible title it's actually not that bad.

80's enthusiasts will enjoy the lavish opening, Duran Duran suits the film so well, although given the Kemp involvement you'd have expected different.

The film has ups and downs, but in the whole the story is actually OK, I'd go as far as to say really quite enjoyable. It's cheap tat but I never for a moment considered turning the film off.

Great fun, a couple of laughs and some good British cameos.

Colin (2008)

I really don't know

[1/10 · 21 January 2017]

Sometimes you feel you miss something, this could be the case with Colin. Made in 2008 at the dawn of the whole low budget indie movie journey Colin claims to have been made for $50. It was the first ultra low budget British movie, I guess it should be given some praise for shining the way.

Beyond the above fact I just don't get it. The story I could not find, the effects were good but the image quality and storyline were completely non-existent. I really did not like the film, in fact I hated it, not a bit a lot. It's a really bad film, it's an absolute tragedy in the sense that the maker believed that the badness was acceptable for the amount it cost. It's really not. It's a slow boring painful watch, maybe it gave been a good short, but it's an overlong feature and one that's hard to bare.

Bait (VI) (2014)

Gripping dramady

[7/10 · 20 January 2017]

Bait is a really cool film about debt collection in a small Yorkshire town, made by a guy who is in the U.K. soap Emmerdale apparently.

What is very clever about the film is the use of women as the victim/aggressors yes there are lots of films like this, but it's all about the way it's done. It's supremely clever, with some really good sub plots, horrific special effects (in a good way) and some absolutely blinding performances from the two leading ladies, one of whom is very courageous as she spends much of the film in her underwear.

I can't explain too much, but this film really is very well put together. It's not perfect, but what is? In the meantime is some very clever story telling, blinding direction and gripping action.

Mob Handed (2016)

Awful movie, awful characters

[1/10 · 20 January 2017]

This is by far the worst movie I have seen in a long time, a tale of a hideous pedofile ring, headed up by some very powerful people.

That's the story but the delivery is something else, a lead who clearly cannot act, a supporting actor who has elements of skil. But then you have the biggest collection of rejections I have ever seen, big names bought down to the very bottom of the ladder due to lack of work. Cathy Tyson from Mona Lisa bought to a quivering shell. That woman of Three Up Two Down who now seems like she's either detoxing from something or has severe Parkinson's and that guy Campling who will turn up in anything as long as he's give 50p to show up.

I'm sorry for the venom, but this is a spectacle of awfulness not bought one single positive spec. Photography is awful, story awful, performances awful.then there is the song, oh please England stop making films like this.

The Chamber (2016)

A truly claustrophobic experience

[10/10 · 20 January 2017]

The chamber is a really competent British movie, not so much horror more thriller despite the labelling. The story revolves around an oil rigger seconded by a military outfit to find something deep on the ocean floor.

The film is a great combination of psychological cleverness and claustrophobia, it was very well put together clearly shot on a tight budget, but with the added bonus of being mainly shot in one location. One location should surely be boring, but it's not it's really cleverly done.

Excellent performances and a really good thudding score make this movie a real classic of our time, I look forward to encountering the Chamber again.

Nina Forever (2015)

Funny as death

[10/10 · 20 January 2017]

I really enjoyed Nina Forever, it's like a really black comedy, that shows how good a film can be made on a tiny budget.

The main focus is around a character called Nina who tragically dies, leaving her boyfriend to pick up the pieces of his life, but then she comes back.

While being very graphic and very sweary Nina Forever is also very very charming, it's a beautiful story of loves lost, loves found and loves twisted grip.

I gather the film was shot on a budget of around $13,000 but took a very long time to make. The wear does show as one of the characters does age a little during the film, but it's good. No it's all good.

The film is funny, horrible and utterly cool. It's a prime example that low budget British Horror does have a place in society. And it's also a first rate top notch film masterpiece regardless of country of origin.

Cherry Tree (2015)

A blatant rip off

[5/10 · 20 January 2017]

What if you moved The Wicker Man to Ireland?

Cherry Tree

The film is a blatant rip off of both The Wicker Man and another recent British film called Wake Wood, its a tale of selling souls to a larger more sinister force. A bit of witchcraft a bit of devil worship and it's all tied together in a neat little bow.

The story is simplistic and a nice view of Irish life, it's a little predictable and a little uncaring but on the whole it's good stuff.

Cherry Tree seems to get a lot of flack, but it's really not that bad, it's a quirky way to end a day, a different way. It's nothing you've not Sen before, but it's also very much something we've not seen in a while.

Good effort Ireland.

Let's Be Evil (2016)

Never underestimate a good trailer

[1/10 · 20 January 2017]

This film has the best trailer I've seen in years, a good combination of lights, colors and funky music. Then as a British Horror enthusiast I was thrilled to see it was a British movie.

The praise stops there.

Three actors a mixture of talent, two good females one awful male actor, a warren of tunnels that are probably the same and the worst American accents ever. Everything was American, it was like it was pretending not to be a British movie, but it was.

The story is very "damned" similar, but that's also where that ends.

Unfortunately the story was just too awful, 45 minutes in I just couldn't go on, it was truly unbearable, boring and utterly tiresome. You could have slept through portions and not missed a thing.

So sad it was so bad, it could have been so good.

The Rezort (2015)

If Jurrasic Park was about Zombies

[8/10 · 20 January 2017]

What if Jurassic Park, Hollyoaks and Dawn Of The dead all got mixed into one... Welcome to the Rezort.

Despite some big name players (Dougray Scott) the film is clearly very low budget maybe $300,000. and while the cheapness shows, particularly on a scene near the start where CGI characters are used instead of real ones the film is really solid.

Nice performances, interesting if not slightly predictable story telling but on the whole really cool.

It definitely has the feel of Jurassic World, this movie was supposed to come out earlier and I wonder if the delay was down to the comparison.

Nice death especially the annoying kid on safari. There was the weakness actually, two really bad performances as two teenagers clearly acted by two actors 5 years to old. But the rest should be forgiven.

Pandorica (2016)

I had no clue what was going on

[10/10 · 20 January 2017]

This might sound like a bad review, but it's really not.

I had no real clue what was going on with this film (currently on Amazon Prime) I struggled, but I was left a little clueless. I should add I was watching this at about 3am.

But all the above means nothing, there has never been a movie in the British Film world that is more beautiful than this to look at. The photography, costumes, production value are all really top spec.

I'm told the film cost about $35,000 to make but you can see what looks like $100,000 on screen.

Good going to all involved. Pandorica looks and feels like a blockbuster, but we know its not the case. Sadly now relegated to Amazon. I will watch the movie again in the near future and hopefully it makes sense. If you watch nothing else at least look at the trailer.

Vampire Resurrection (2016)

What the....

[1/10 · 19 January 2017]

My head was left scratching watching this. The reviews on Amazon were good, the reviews on IMDb were good, but the film really wasn't.

Currently playing on Amazon Prime Vampire Resurrection is the story of a family battling off a vampire threat.

I knew I was onto a loser when the opening credits rolled, it looked strange and disjointed, a girl having her head whacked out on the floor, but why? It just didn't make much sense.

The film is like some promo vehicle for it's director Marc Morris who writes, produces, directs and generously (or not) takes on the leading role in the film. If you are going to star in your own film unless your a real filmmaker, you cannot afford to let your eye off the ball. Which is exactly what he does here. So quick is he to promote himself, he allows his fellow actors (I use the term loosely) to fall at his feet in a jumbled mess.

There are a number of "what on Earth scenes" the rapidly growing girl, the disappearing vampires, what are they doing in the cave? And worst of all the awful, I mean hideous song at the end.

"Vampire Resurrection, Vampire Resurrection, Vampire Resurrection!" Who dropped a testicle to let this song pass quality control, oh hang on, there was no quality control.

I see reference to classics like Lost Boys and Fright Night being used in comparison to this movie, they are in a different league, a million times better than this.

Avoid at your peril.. You Have been warned!

Eden Lake (2008)

My anus fell out

[9/10 · 19 January 2017]

This is some great British horror making.

Eden Lake is a very bleak, dark thriller. I say thriller because its definitely more thriller than horror. It's got that edge, that "Oh my God" moment that stays with you, but its more than that, because it has several of those moments.

Never have Mel & Kim been behind such horror (You'll understand that if you see the film). from the first moment you see the kids, to the final seconds I was gripped, horrified and damaged all at the same time.

The performances are incredible especially from Kelly Reilly who steals the show as the damaged and isolated woman, looking for help in the most disturbing of places. There is a small glimpse of joy near they end where she takes some revenge. "good" will be the only word to leave you mouth.

Wonderful film!

Curse of the Witching Tree (2015)

Abort this!

[1/10 · 19 January 2017]

Wow... This film is horrific! And not in a good way.

A new house, a terrible secret, some hammy acting, some badly bled color grading.

Curse Of The Witching Tree is difficult to watch, not least because its just so awful.

The acting is not too bad, not too bad compared with the story. The kids are pretty good, but there is this overtly sexual tone that is not there other than to score votes and maybe titillate the director.

I really can't say enough bad things about this film, it actually hurts my head just thinking about what I've just watched. To the director, I don't care enough to search his name, please do not do this again.

Demon Baby (2015)

Best of British

[10/10 · 19 January 2017]

This is by far one of the best low budget British movies I have ever seen.

I need to qualify this slightly. The plot is not that great, but from a cinematic quality this is on par with the likes of Four Weddings, Eden Lake, The Remains Of The Day.

Early on you see Rose and Theo canoeing, you feel every single splash in the water. The Camera angles are phenomenal, the build up of tension just incredible. It's all so perfect.

The SFX are another let down, but the cinematography is like the finest you will ever see. Someone online claimed the film cost around $15,000 it looks like $100,000 and then some.

Extra points for color grading, performances and the score.

Corrie Greenop IS the director you need to watch out for.

Death Walks (2016)

Forget Low Budget, try No Budget

[8/10 · 19 January 2017]

I was really impressed with this film. It's so hard to imagine how our industry has changed. Ten years ago, it would have been impossible to create a low budget movie and it be even half reasonable. Now here we are 2017 and this movie crops up.

I'm an avid Amazon Prime user, having some English heritage I love to see low budget film, but after a week of truly diabolical films that included Vampire Resurrection, The Witching Tree and May I Kill you! I stumbled upon Death Walks. I'd never even heard of it before until I took to google to find out more. Shot for nothing and we are not talking low budget here, we are talking no budget, this movie took 3 years to make.

The storyline was really good, some nice twists and turns. Amazing color grading gave the film a classy edge and then there is the John Carpenteresque score.

The film looks and feels like a movie that had a budget, it also does not feel particularly British, yes the accents are British at times a bit too British, but the look is something more international. It's a really solid looking movie, with life and vitality. It's at times very amusing, at times silly and it has the most unexpected twist.

I cannot believe how good this little movie was, I watched it alone, but plan to show my wife this weekend during our rest time. I lift my hat to everyone who made this movie. It really is something else. Well done!