michaeldecker Reviews

Urban Legend (2022– )

Unbelievably bad!

[1/10 · 18 December 2022]

All the stories appear to be written by a ten year old, all the acting is amateurish, all the 'special effects' look like they were done on a 1994 PC - this is the cheapest, most dismal thing I've seen in years. It's like a High School production someone's thrown money at hoping something will stick.

I've got to add another 299 characters to this review for it to be published, which is 299 more characters than you'll see in (and I repeat) this horrible, terrible, dismal bit of cheap video masquerading as a TV series. Now there's just 79 characters left in which to tell you, again, just how utterly dismal this is...

Beyond Borders (II) (2021)

Meh - it was ok - but what was the back story with the producer?

[5/10 · 13 March 2021]

It was ok, and I'm glad I sat through it; a nice little travelogue from the cramped seats of a tiny private aircraft circumnavigating the globe. But I think I would have thrown Lois out of the plane several times, as his 'be cool, man' attitude got tiresome very quickly along with his obvious failure to deal with an unseen woman producer said to be 'putting the whole trip in danger' with unrealistic demands on the pilot. So I couldn't wait for the end, when surely the woman would be confronted by the very sensible and long-suffering pilot. But not only did she appear to be missing, there was no explanation - and the end credits listed only a male producer. I rushed over here to check the trivia section - nothing. So were we conned by a fake 'conflict' narrative, or was she fired and replaced? If you weren't going to tell us at the end, then you should have edited out all the references to the producer's conduct.

Call Me Kat (2021–2023)

The Big Bomb Theory

[1/10 · 4 January 2021]

Appallingly bad. Why didn't someone realise, and slit its throat halfway through recording the first episode? At least the whole world can now all agree Blossom ain't funny, and can draw up international legislation criminalising anyone investing even a dime in any future project involving her. Yes, it's really that bad.

The Fury (1978)

Complete with stereotypical Arab terrorists at the start, this only goes downhill

[1/10 · 20 May 2020]

Absolutely dismal. And from the moment you see two rubber dinghies filled with AK47-toting 'terrorists' (bizarrely all deciding to wear Saudi-style white ghutrah just so we know who to boo) you just know this is one of 'those' productions. Terrible, boring, cheap, dismal movie from start to finish - I can't believe people actually sat in a cinema to watch this without demanding their money back after ten minutes.

Upstream Color (2013)

WATCH THIS MOVIE!

[10/10 · 4 February 2020]

A movie with a $50,000 budget, and written, directed, produced, and music written all by the same guy is inevitably a recipe for disaster. The single exception I know of is this movie, which is simply stunning. Invest an hour and a half of your time on this steady-paced masterpiece and you'll experience not only a great movie but the realisation that you can achieve one hell of a lot for $50,000 if you are multi-talented. The production values alone would indicate a $5m budget (the special effects are wholly convincing - just those alone would surely have cost $50,000?), it's really that good. The story too is fabulously constructed and paced - the movie grows from being about a weird con game into being something else entirely. I love this movie, and I love that it's right up there with other good movies while having cost a tiny fraction of their budgets. Go watch it.

Atomic Blonde (2017)

No story, interminable fights. Just terrible.

[2/10 · 11 April 2018]

It starts well - the first ten minutes are engaging and mature. But then we get two hours of the silliest fight scenes, together with a story that just doesn't hang together. Charlise is of course adorable, but unconvincing. This is one to avoid.

White Famous (2017)

Usually these 'comedian vehicles' are so-so, but....

[10/10 · 3 April 2018]

This is really good. Snappy writing, funny, and convincing characters. The title refers to the main character's chances of 'crossing over' to universal appeal, and his struggles along the way. It's also a good commentary on how things work in Hollywood, particularly the clumsy way white people behave in front of black people. I hope we see a second season, there's lots more to explore.

Traitor (2008)

America's favourite stereotypes, all rolled into one.

[1/10 · 28 March 2018]

Where to start? This is so ghastly, but perhaps the most damaging stereotype is the 'Muslim sleeper cell' construct, reinforcing the idea that your neighbours are one phonecall away from dropping their suburban lives, strapping on a bomb, and immolating themselves and a bunch of innocent American children and shoppers. It's a disgrace that such films are made, Cheadle should be ashamed of himself.

Rise (2018)

Rosie Perez!

[10/10 · 19 March 2018]

This woman changed dance for ever with In Living Color, and her opening in Do the Right Thing remains unequalled. Suddenly Rise seems like a very, very interesting show and the pilot (although from time to time a bit trite) doesn't disappoint. Hooked already.

Con Man (2018)

Terrible, just terrible

[1/10 · 13 March 2018]

All you need to know is in the first couple of minutes, when Minkow is shown as the battered hero of a prison football game. Later he heroically saves a man being beaten up in the showers. And then he bravely goes after a wicked conman who won't give back $250k to one of his parishioners. Finally a soft-hearted FBI man hands him a valise containing $125k after Minkow chases two huge bodyguards trying to do a runner. What a hero this man is. What I was waiting for was the bit where he stole his grandmother's jewellery, or the bit where he stole millions from the church and parishioners that trusted him. Instead all we got was this hideously partisan TV movie. Don't waste your time on this...

Michael Moore in TrumpLand (2016)

Brilliantly written and delivered oratory!

[10/10 · 24 October 2016]

If you want to learn how to write for an audience, how to learn to speak in public and to win over a crowd, and how to be able to orate for over an hour without a teleprompter or even many notes - then put this on and watch and learn. This is a masterclass, and I am stunned at how good he is at it.

Yes, I've seen his documentaries, and his old TV programmes, but they're kinda easy to make - lots of editing and prompts, and of course you can always go again if you screw up a line. But this was fabulous - real old-school oratory as he prowled the stage bringing on board a hostile audience (from the applause he asked for at the beginning to show who were republicans and who were democrats the split seemed around 50/50) with some really clever techniques (e.g. told the women how great they were to get them all nodding agreement, then told the men they were a dying breed and a 'minority'). He even used a drone so we could all laugh at the corralled Muslims!

And his real triumph was to start by slagging off Hillary - said he didn't vote for her now or previously, said she killed Vince - piled it on until every redneck in the place was cheering him on. And then... and then he just spun it around and talked quietly. Convinced everyone of the righteousness of the path and the journey, and finished off with a crescendo of oratory!

Brilliant, just brilliant. Whatever you think of Michael Moore, watch this!

Geezas (2011)

Terrible mess

[1/10 · 17 January 2016]

It's just terrible - amateurish in just about every degree; terrible acting by terrible people who look like they all work in Tesco rather than being gangsters.

Most amateurish bit? Difficult to pick just one example from so many, but using a projection behind a static car to imply they're driving went out in 1953.

I don't bother with reviews, and only did this one to counter the fake one submitted for this film by someone that signed up, did one review, and has never been seen again. It's about time IMDb got rid of all the fake reviews - they're really easy to spot...

Better Call Saul (2015–2022)

Breaking Bad from a different camera angle - (Minor S01E1/E2 spoilers)

[10/10 · 25 February 2015]

It's never, ever been done before - but what a treat we have in store for us in a year or so. Because when Walter White first walks into Saul Goodman's office (around the beginning of BCS Series 3 - or maybe earlier) we will have the gorgeous experience of watching Breaking Bad all over again - from Saul's point of view!

Once BCS catches up with the beginning of BB we will then get an episode by episode re-run of BB from Saul's point of view, with all the same characters and actors - but with the difference that we will know exactly what's going to happen in each episode.

Will knowing that spoil our enjoyment? Of course not - when Tuco was deciding what to do with Saul in the desert we KNEW he wouldn't kill Saul because we've seen BB. Did it spoil it for us? No! And when those dozy skateboarders turned up at Grandma's house and talked to the very subdued Tuco thinking they'd scam him we KNEW what was going to happen. But that was the deliciousness of it all - we knew the skateboarders were going to find out exactly what Tuco was really like, and we drooled as we waited for the moment that THEY would find out.

Did it spoil our enjoyment that we knew these things before the characters knew them? No! For the first time ever in television history we are watching a TV series where we know exactly what's going to happen - yet it makes watching it an even greater pleasure!

This is not a 'spin off' - this is Breaking Bad shot from Saul's point of view. I can only hope that every single actor in BB will sign up for BCS (of course they'll have huge leverage in salary negotiations because they were never contracted for this series - so some might not appear because of greed or other commitments). I can't wait to see Hank again and experience the vicarious sadness of knowing that every episode brings him one episode nearer to death and he doesn't even know it - it'll be like watching an old home video of a favourite Uncle who died.

So don't be distracted - you're not watching a spin-off, you're watching the prequel before you get to watch Breaking Bad (The Saul Edit). I can't wait!

Risen (2010)

Authentic - this is what it's like to fight

[6 October 2011]

Ignore all the reviews written by people who aren't boxers, because only a boxer can tell you just how good the fight scenes were in this movie. But if you're one of those armchair critics that think Sylvester Stallone and Mr T are great boxers, or that Robert DeNiro coulda been a contender, then this film is *not* for you.

On the other hand, if you've actually boxed then you'll gasp at the authenticity of the fight scenes in this movie. You'll even double-take as you realise that one of his opponents is played by Erik Morales (world champion at four different weights)! Yes, this film is flawed here and there, and some of the acting is fairly dismal, but who cares? This is a *boxing* film and the one thing they get 100% right is the ring action.

See this movie, and then see Raging Bull - one is a boxer's film, the other is a Hollywood movie. Both are enjoyable to watch and are great biopics, but only one of them gets passed around on DVD at the boxing club....and it's not Raging Bull

The Fury of the Black Belt (1973)

Standard kung fu fare, nicely presented

[6/10 · 28 December 2006]

Obviously extremely low budget and formulaic, this film nevertheless manages to be entertaining throughout. There's a lone hero, a wicked gang terrorising the village folk, a vow to the dying, and lots of inner conflict before good triumphs over evil.

Oddly, the soundtrack for the English dub exclusively uses the soundtracks to The Godfather, Once Upon a Time in the West as well as a couple of other Ennio Morricone works. I have a feeling they didn't ask Ennio's permission - not sure if the music has been used in the original version or just the later English dub.

It's a bit of fun, and will provide distraction for a couple of hours if you're in the mood for classic kitsch seventies kung fu.

The Inspectors 2: A Shred of Evidence (2000 TV Movie)

Slooooowwww....... but worth the investment of your time

[7/10 · 12 August 2006]

Not bad at all. The first half is taken up with a lot of scene setting, but the second half is busy busy busy. Madsen is even more taciturn than usual, ambling menacingly through the film in a sharp pair of shades and some great lines.

I admit it doesn't sound promising; two Postal Inspectors are hardly going to turn out to be the most action-packed duo since Crockett and Tubbs (even Madsen's character chuckles when he hears 'The Postal Inspectors' are after him), but they carry it off.

There's also lots of interesting and worrying detail on just how easy it seems to be to rack up a few dodgy credit cards and live your life as several people. As a previous poster said - buy a shredder.

And don't smirk if ever someone pulls a badge on you and shouts "Halt - we're the Postal Inspectors". Taunt them at your peril - they've got a huge pile of Form 154B's which they're itching to issue you....