chintones-72269 Reviews

Plane (2023)

Butler doing what he does best.

[7/10 · 4 February 2023]

The ordinary man who goes about doing his job, but with extraordinary tenacity. I wasn't expecting much but was pleasantly surprised. Yeah Gerard Butler has done this so many times before but he always manages to find a new twist with each outing. If you're expecting to explore the Marvel Multiverse, this movie is not for you ( and to be honest they've ground their own well worn tropes to the bone ). The movie was well edited to keep the pacing to a crescendo of an ending. The actors had turned in good performances even in the small parts, cinematography and FX helping to push the action forward. A true popcorn movie in every sense.

Savage Salvation (2022)

When you build enough goodwill to get actors on the downslope of their careers to take this kind of movie

[3/10 · 4 December 2022]

First of all you see the names of De Niro and Malkovich top lining the one sheet and you think to yourself, 'How bad can this be?' Unfortunately I didn't see that Randall Emmett was directing. Just like his deal with Bruce Willis' last few films, it's just another form of exploitation. Jack Huston really deserves better (see Boardwalk Empire), Bob and John probably needed the paycheck, but after reading the script, they should've known better. The script spent the first half of the film portraying the challenges of addicts in love before turning itself into the righteous revenge killing trope of every 80's action hero film. I almost gave up after the first 40 minutes because nothing happened, I stuck around out of morbid curiosity. Throw in few God missives (because we are in the south after all), the usual dispatching of greasy baddies without the panache of John Wick, and end with speech of God meeting capitalism face to face. I met Randy at Cannes back in 2001, he was asleep in his limo with his mouth open as I walked up to a mid day meeting. Unfortunately, I think he's still sleeping. On the good side was the cinematography but the edit was over long and repetitive. So for those who have lasted this long in the review, it's definitely a slog and not worth the bother. Wendy.

Amsterdam (2022)

History repeats itself

[8/10 · 13 November 2022]

I went into this thinking that it was going to be a star studded mess but ended up being charmed by it's audacity in pointing out the current state of American affairs to this day. Although it takes place during WWI to the early 30's the phrase 'history repeats itself', eerily comes to light by the final reel. Great cameos abound but Margo Robbie's 'art' brought back so many memories on Man Ray and the surrealist painters like Dali and Picasso. Even John David Washington redeems himself for the mess of 'Tenet' in my eyes. Really nice score from Daniel Pemberton adds to the atmosphere and the whole show is a refreshing change from all the things that inhabit the current Marvel or Disney universe. It helps to have a passing knowledge of history and current events to see the connections that are being made in an entertaining film.

Carter (2022)

Action was never so boring

[3/10 · 6 August 2022]

Stupidity, indeterminate shots, crap cinematography, no plot to speak of... and yeah, Camilla Belle really needed a pay check. If you.re going to copy other films, at least do it well. This fails on all counts. Avoid it at all costs.

Dark Winds (2022– )

Ran out of gas

[6/10 · 18 July 2022]

Loved these characters and the settings, but the show took a deep dive into the rather pedestrian wrap up. I was disappointed that the writing couldn't support the characters at the end of the season. The actors were all terrific and are to be lauded, the writing ... not so much.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

My 'thoughts and prayers' go out to Star Wars

[3/10 · 28 May 2022]

Disney really murdered the franchise, but what do expect from a corporation. I pity Ewan McGregor who seems to be the only one trying here ( or maybe the only one with a modicum of talent ). Don't get me started on the 'chase scene' which reminded me of a demented 'Teletubby' romp through the woods. The sets looked like 'standing sets' left over from other previous TV sci-fi shows that Disney kept in order to lower costs. The writing was abysmal and the direction was as flat as an unwanted tapeworm.

The Northman (2022)

The Snoreman

[4/10 · 14 May 2022]

Great sets, check. Scenic locations, check. Blood, murder, and vengeance, check. Meandering script made this seem like it was over 3 hours long. Not impressed at all and was expecting much more.

Tokyo Vice (2022– )

A dense melange of interesting characters intersecting along the back streets of Tokyo.

[9/10 · 30 April 2022]

It's hard for foreigners (gajin) to break into japanese cultural institutions much less gaining entry into the world of the Yakuza. The lead, jake Adelstein / Ansel Elgort, does this with a deer in the head lights full court press. A heady mix of characters populate this universe and make their way slowly into a swirling maelstrom of ambition, greed, and violence. The acting is uniformly great and you have to pay attention to even the secondary characters who all serve a purpose as the story unfolds. It really makes me yearn for a night of that crazy Tokyo nightlife. Can't wait for season 2!

Uncharted (2022)

Uncharted stupidity

[4/10 · 24 April 2022]

This is an update of 'National Treasure' with even less cohesion (if that's even possible). It's buttered popcorn that has been sitting in the theater machine over the entire course of of the COVID restrictions and now that theaters are open again, being sold as fresh. Lazy writing and even worse direction makes this a morass of buried treasure cliches, without the craziness of a Nick Cage (in this you get Mark Wahlberg). If you must, wait for streaming and don't fall for the sequel. Your mind will be the better for it.

Ambulance (2022)

I have a headache.

[5/10 · 22 April 2022]

If you mix a crack rage 'Heat' (minus all the character bits) with a nitro fueled 'Speed' (with even more implausible stunts) then you end up with 'Ambulance'. The editing is all over the place, a lot of throw away lines to give the actors something to do, and of course more stunts than is necessary to justify a 2 hour plus movie. Bay has not lost his touch to make his movies loud, messy, and all the while blowing more stuff up than in previous endeavors. On a technical level, his ability to stage such elaborate action scenes is off the charts, but in the end it's just an exercise in emptiness.

Deep Water (I) (2022)

It's like the 90's never left.

[5/10 · 24 March 2022]

I think 'streaming platforms' have become the new 'direct to video' of the 2020's. It's like Lyne froze himself in a cryonic-chamber only to resurrect himself without the memory that 30 years have passed. The script had so many holes that it would make a wheel of swiss cheese blush. I actually felt sorry for the actors and then I thought 'at least checks didn't bounce'. Ana de Armas is truly lovely to look at, otherwise there's nothing else I can say for this movie.

Drive My Car (2021)

Coping with human tragedy

[8/10 · 10 March 2022]

This film is reminiscent of another era of very independent film making that is rarely found into today's Marvel blockbuster universe. It's very Japanese in it's sensibilities, not unlike unfolding an intricate origami to see how it works. It seemed offsetting to me that the running time stated 3 hours, but that time flew by as pieces of characters revealed themselves. The play within the movie itself with the casting, rehearsals, and teetering on collapse before it's opening was great reflection on the human condition unfolding in the character's 'real lives'. Direction was spot on and many of the actors quite fine in expressing so much with subtle looks or significant stillness. A mesmerizing movie for those who are patient, thoughtful and have lived though some bumps in the road of life.

1883 (2021–2022)

Brilliant and poetic writing

[9/10 · 1 March 2022]

Usually spin offs from original series are just vehicles to prolong the life of a dead horse. I was completely caught off guard by the brilliance of this prequel to 'Yellowstone'. Of course Sam Elliot bringing his cowboy 'gravitas' to the proceedings, with respectful resdings from both Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, contribute mightily; but Isobel May steals the show with a bravura performance as 'Elsa Dutton' headstrong daughter of the Dutton clan. Hardships abound, but interspersed with moments of grace, fully exposes all sides of the human condition. Again, you'll be hard pressed to find better writing in today's offerings of superhero universes.

Marry Me (2022)

A copy of a copy of a copy.

[3/10 · 15 February 2022]

It's as if somebody photocopied the draft of a 90's Rom/Com over and over again until only the faint edges of the original remained, indistinct and blurry. Although the creators try to update the formula with modern pop esthetics and iphones, it's just cheesy in every sense. JLO is not Julia Roberts, and Owen is not Hugh Grant. This is a marriage that should've been quickly annulled for the sake of the genre,

The 355 (2022)

The 3.55

[5/10 · 29 January 2022]

A great cast that's wasted on a cliche ridden script. Great locations can't make up for too many plot holes and action scenes that were, at best, a stretch of the imagination. It's kind of like a female version of 'Red' (but not that old) mixed in with every spy thriller of the past 20 years. Absolutely love these women who deserved a better story to tell.

The Commando (2022)

As swollen as Mickey's face.

[3/10 · 8 January 2022]

At a trim 93 minutes, this movie felt like it was over 2 hours. Bad writing and wooden acting didn't help it either. Ludicrous action scenes and too many subplots kept this movie bouncing around like a pinball trying to stay alive in an arcade. Unfortunately, all it can register is a big 'TILT'.

Finch (2021)

No one does humanity better than Hanks

[5/10 · 6 November 2021]

Unfortunately, the rest of this film does him no favors with a ton of borrowed ideas and film cliches. Definitely a pandemic era film with no cast to speak of, with the exception of a dog and a robot. Overly long in execution and not nearly as engrossing as 'Greyhound', this could have been a better short film than film production.

Lamb (2021)

Icelandic weirdness that settles in like a dense fog

[7/10 · 2 November 2021]

Isolation and loneliness, in the midst of a beautiful landscape, leads a couple down a road of no return. Spare as a string quartet, but introducing a single dissonance to it's theme, this chamber piece explores a void within the human (and animal) soul that neither can live without. Brilliantly acted and well paced direction keeps you wondering, 'what rabbit hole am I stepping into?'

Cry Macho (2021)

Sometimes you just gotta know when to quit

[4/10 · 21 September 2021]

Sorry, but so many elements of this film were so lazy for a director of Eastwood's caliber, it's like watching an old man swim through the fog of his own thoughts. You could tell lines coming from a mile away and it seemed as it the struggle of getting out dialog weighed heavily on him. There were scenes where I kept thinking to myself 'please don't break a hip'. Seeing a frail Clint knock a man down with one punch was ludicrous. This was a poor man's 'Gran Torino' with a lazier script and nowhere near the greatness of an 'Unforgiven'. Obviously, no one at Warners had the balls to tell him no.

Old (2021)

A deadly combination

[4/10 · 18 September 2021]

Coupling 'old' and 'boring' into one movie is just deadly. Seems as if M. Night has run out of his bag of tricks to deceive moviegoers into paying for half baked ideas . Still directing, producing and acting to keep as much as possible in his own pockets.

The Protégé (2021)

Big budget B movie drivel

[5/10 · 30 August 2021]

Nice production values and a James Bond director can't make up for a nonsensical script. When you start rolling your eyes half way through the movie and you're wishing that the actors can pull a rabbit out of the hat, the implausibility of the situations make you throw your hands up in the air and scream , 'You can't be serious?'. Maggie Q deserves better material.

Beckett (2021)

A nod to the 70's political thriller

[5/10 · 14 August 2021]

Too many unfilled plot holes to be satisfying and a doozy at the end. However, the score by Ryuichi Sakamoto gripped my imagination (with the informed nod to Xenakis). The update of political upheaval based on greed and money was sadly mentioned as a band aid to the plot and not fully explored in terms of modern day crisis gripping the world. Washington inherited his father's name but very little of the charisma or acting chops, I had hoped that after Tenet, he would have proved me wrong. Vikander's talent was wasted by this role.

F9: The Fast Saga (2021)

WTF?

[4/10 · 31 July 2021]

Nothing makes sense, even the laws of physics have no meaning in this universe. While it was nice to see so many guest stars making appearances to collect a paycheck (Helen Mirren), it's just n excuse to film a series outlandish stunts, one after another. To put it in the words of one of the characters, 'We in outer space!'.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Interminable

[4/10 · 22 May 2021]

I kept hoping it would end...all the flat jokes, the unimaginative action scenes, and waiting for a glimmer of hope that a character would show up that you could care about. Nope, like an an undead zombie it kept getting up and stumbling along to it's undead conclusion. I think the zombies have taken over the studio suites in green lighting this. Shoot us all in the head and be done with it.

The Woman in the Window (2021)

This is no 'Rear Window'.

[5/10 · 21 May 2021]

Great cast wasted on a pedestrian script and awful direction. The movie seemed interminable even at it's tidy 90 minutes.