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Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare (2010)
Little Moose, Little Moose, Liiitle Moose
It's the Woodsman. Not the Woodsman. Anything, but the Woodsman. As you can tell, this is the scariest movie I've ever seen in my life. Well no, but it did scared me when I was 8 or 10. It's also the Scooby- Doo movie, and one of many movies in general, to have left an impact on my life. I like Alien Invaders, but I like Camp Scare even more. Most people like to praise Zombie Island as the best Scooby- Doo movie, but Camp Scare comes at a close second. If there is anything that Scooby-Doo never has, it's the all around sense of danger, terror, and horror. Believe me, this movie is nightmare fuel for the kiddies. This scared me so much a few years ago, that I would actually stayed awake at nights thinking of the haunting visuals of the Fishman, Woodsman, and Spectre. Even the campfire stories on the DVD scared me. The Woodsman deserves to get his own spin-off slasher movie. In fact, I'll do it myself. Back on topic, what's the plot? Scooby and the gang sign up to be camp counselors at Fred's old camp, Camp Little Moose. When they arrive, they find no campers and Fred's old counselor Burt talking to the police about a campfire story they used to tell. That story was The Woodsman. Before this moment, The Woodsman, who is a green man sporting bandages and Cropsey's clothes from The Burning, had come and blown up the boathouse. I do not know why that happened, but it was probably explained sometime later in the movie. They're closing up camp, which upsets Fred. That is until a few parents and a bus driver didn't get the memo, and we're introduced to 3 new characters, Robin, Raven, and Luke Skywalker. Oh I mean, Luke, Trudy, and Deacon. Understandably, Burt is confused and angry, while Fred is joyous. Unfortunately, the CG bus drives away before Burt can put them back on it and the kids are now stuck at Little Moose. For the first day, they go zip-lining which will have you believe that zip-lining is actually fun, but South Park would tell you otherwise. I'm just joking, it's probably invigorating. After that they prepare for dinner. Shaggy is cooking his five alarm hole in the bowl chili, and asks Scooby to get some more firewood. It is there that Scooby first meets the Woodsman. He runs back and just forgets about it as they eat dinner with the Woodsman watching them closely through a window. The next day, Fred awakens the campers and counselors much to their dismay to go swimming in Little Moose's extremely dirt lake. They say screw it to Fred, and instead go up to Big Moose Lake, the rival camp's lake. There they have a fun time, and the movie decides to show off some fanservice. Fred meets a counselor from Big Moose named Jessica. After that, the gang, Luke, and Trudy have an encounter with the Fishman and nearly fall to their deaths! Wow, this is actually pretty serious. The scene ends with them sliding into the mess hall to be greeted by Deacon eating ice cream. In Camp Scare, not only is there a fun little mystery, there's also some homages to certain slasher movies. I watched The Burning years after this. I didn't notice it, but Cropsey and the Woodsman's story are very similar. A bunch of young kids f*** with an unlikable a**hole, he gets disfigured, and those campers aren't the ones targeted for death. The slasher angle is also what makes this movie good, exciting, and scary. This is in stark contrast with other slasher movies, but with Scooby-Doo, it works. It's like Zombie Island 2.0. The only difference between this and ZI, is that it's the second movie and the monsters are fake as s***. Other than that, this is a surprisingly mature Scooby-Doo movie worthy of the title masterpiece. This and Abracadabra-Doo really help to show that Scooby-Doo is still an exciting franchise. Even if CS is a cash in nearly 3 decades too late. The voice acting is amazing. The voice actors really bring the story to life. These feel like real characters, and not just some limited animation Hanna-Barbera cartoon. The animation is some of the best in the Scooby franchise. Every frame of this movie looks great. Especially, the Woodsman attack, the explosion of the dam, and the climax. The characters are interesting and they shine out as some of the best supporting characters in Scooby-Doo. They were enjoyable, likable, entertaining, and, like Crystal and Amber from Alien Invaders, deserve more screen time. I really like the music. The opening credits song is one of the catchiest tunes you will ever hear in Scooby history. The summertime song is pretty catchy and really uplifting. In the sequence itself, there wasn't a lot of summer fun going on, but the music did help in making it seem like you were actually there having fun in the summertime. I have got to say that this is one of the only movies that made me feel like going to camp, with or without a psycho ax murderer on the loose. The villains are some of the scariest in Scooby history. Ranger Knudsen is a guy who was chucking axes, pushing boats off of dams (psychics everybody), and crashing through windshields. No one actually dies as a result, but it's still pretty terrifying to think about the what ifs. It still sends shivers down my spine to hear the shrieks of Shadow Canyon. Overall, this was a Scooby-Doo masterpiece, with lot's of scares, thrills, chills, and humor. I give it an 8/10.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Harley Quinn. Nice to Meet Ya.
Hey, DC Fanboys. These knock-off Marvel movies are awful. Not only was Batman v. Superman abysmal and polarizing, but Suicide Squad was just atrocious. About a year ago, I was probably one of the few people on Earth to actually think that BvS was going to suck. I thought it was going to be a dumb action movie that was made just so Batman and Superman could fight for illogical reasons. I was half-right. Around the same time, my brother and I saw Batman: Assault on Arkham. It was good. The characters were really likable and we were very interested in the plot, it was also the first piece of media to prove to me that Harley Quinn is hot. I was waiting for Suicide Squad to come out, except for two reasons. Those reasons were; Deadshot was going to be played by Will Smith, and it incorporated elements from the New 52. I like Will Smith, but it bothers me to see a character being played by a race that isn't their own. I like Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, but it bothered me knowing that the Natives probably weren't real natives. Then came along BvS, which made me want to stay the f*** away from anymore DC movies. I was right. What's the plot? No really, what's the plot? The movie lost me midway through. I'm too lazy to actually read the Wikipedia page, so let's just say this. This movie is boring. How did they manage to make the Suicide Squad unwatchable. With the exception of Margot Robbie and Jared Leto, none of the characters are noteworthy. Not even Will Smith, who is usually the better part of any movie, was interesting in this flick. I can't even remember what anyone, or anything did in this movie. In a callback to the comics, Slipknot appears and gets his head blown off. This did not leave as much of an impact as KG Beast's death in BAoA. The cinematography is for sh**. Why is it so dark? You could actually see Batman v. Superman, but not the otherwise average action scenes. The acting is good, except for Rick Flag. The only reason I even say that, is because these people are professional actors who've done better things. What the f*** is this, DC. It just keeps getting worse. I went to go see Man of Steel in the theaters, but I don't remember a god d*** thing. I could still say that it was passable. We didn't finish BvS, but there was some enjoyment in actually watching it. This piece of trash doesn't even have the common decency to exploit Harley Quinn like a lot of us wanted. The posters look cool, this does not. I gives this a 3/10. It's is not enjoyable, but it still reaches above the usual trash at 2/10. It is however, the second attempt for DC to redeem themselves, and they're doing a pretty sh** job at it. Don't go see Wonder Woman next year. Instead, watch Wonder Woman (2009) at home. This is only slightly better than something like Spooky Buddies. That's a direct-to-video Disney flick. It's a general rule for those to suck hot garbage. Why did we even waste our time?
The Haunting of Whaley House (2012)
This House is Haunted as F***!
Now, I was just like you a couple weeks ago, I thought that this was going to be a bad movie. When I sat down and actually bothered to watch it, and not listen to the reviews on this site, I was pleasantly surprised. Now before we start, I would like to say that, I have not been to the Whaley House. I've not seen photos of this place, but from what I read the stories are pretty accurate. I'm am reviewing this as a stand alone movie, not as a companion piece to the house itself. First, let's get into the plot. Penny is a tour guide on the most haunted house in America, when a girl suffers a seizure after witnessing some scary sh** go down in the house. Penny doesn't believe that their are really ghosts, but her mentor thinks the opposite, as she's been working there for over 30 years. She tells Penny three important rules. 1. Don't call the ghosts out. 2. Don't damage the house. 3. Don't ever go inside the house at night. Penny then goes to hang with her friends; Jake, Vanessa, Craig, and Giselle at the cemetery. Because, that's where people go to talk among friends. I don't know, I could be wrong. After all, I have no friends of my own. Who am I to judge? She tells them about the earlier seizure, which leads into a conversation about how whether or not ghosts are real. They convince Penny to sneak them into the Whaley House at night, and Craig brings along his cousin, twice removed, black-a** Ray. Ray also brings along his famous psychic friend, Keith Drummond. After this, they start exploring the Whaley House. This is the 2nd out of 2 movies I've done on this account that many people do not like. The Asylum doesn't particularly help this movie win with critics and movie fans. I don't know why. This movie is clichéd and standard, but it's an okay movie. Where this movie excels is in it's sense of terror, as well as horror scene. Unlike what you would normally expect from horror movies today, let alone The Asylum, this movie decides to go the old school route in terms of anticipation and terror. I thought that this movie wasn't going to be that scary. Holy sh**, I was wrong! The movie really reels you into the scares thanks to moments of quiet, the bone- chilling screams of the Whaley family, sudden appearances and disappearances, and the history of the house itself. Every ghost is terrifying, when you hear from Keith that Thomas Whaley, or Anna Whaley are nearby, you feel like you are going to sh** your pants. The little girl, while being your standard creepy little girl, somehow manages to stand out above the crowd. F*** you Sakako and Kayako, the Whaley girl's here to stay. I hated anytime they mentioned Yankee Jim. With a name like, coupled with a name like Santiago, as well as the fact that he's a lanky 6 foot 4 wall monster, who is still scary even if you don't really see it in the dark lighting. The movie has your basic jumpscares, but they're so little of them around, that they actually turn into pretty terrifying moments. The design of the ghosts is what really makes this movie scary. Every time you see them, you feel uneasy. While it exceeds expectations in the scare department, it doesn't really do so for the other aspects. There are points where the movie is dark, the characters are your basic clichéd young people, and the story is really lacking, but who cares when you've got scares. The characters even go beyond the clichés. Even when they're complete a**holes, you still fear for their lives, and want them to live. It was honestly saddening to see and hear Penny's pleas for help to get out of the house at the end of the movie. The acting is fairly average in this movie, not so good, but also not bad. The worst offender is definitely Keith. The actor who plays him looks like he's always smelling sh** in the air. The actor who plays Ray also stands out from the rest of the group. He manages to play Ray as a geek and as a scared black guy, so over the top, that it actually works for the movie. He was one of my favorite parts of the Whaley House. In my honest opinion, I say that this is a good movie for The Asylum, but it's only okay. I give it a 5/10. They might've not been able to film in the real Whaley House, but the replacement will also be stuck in my head. This movie is the stuff of nightmares. --JoshTheCelluloader
Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders (2000)
How Groooovyyy
I don't remember when it happened, but long ago, I think my mom bought me some Scooby-Doo movies. One was a DVD pack of 3 movies that included; Abracadabra-Doo, Goblin King, and Alien Invaders. The other was Camp Scare. The following movies will not be reviewed. Camp Scare will remain ingrained in my brain for the rest of my natural born life, Goblin King will always be known as one of my least favorite Scooby-Doo movies, and Abracadabra-Doo will always be a fun little romp through a Harry Potter cash-in. This one really hits me hard. I've always been a fan of aliens, cryptids, and the supernatural, so Alien Invaders is basically a staple movie of my childhood. Here's the plot of the movie. The Gang drive along the desert to god knows where for god knows why. They have themselves an extraterrestrial encounter, when an alien ship hovers above the Mystery Machine. They stop in the middle of the dessert to get help in the nearest town, but Shaggy and Scooby decide to stay behind. There they spot a jackalope that barely has an effect on the plot and the aliens, who are actually rastafaliens. They get chased by the big green men, and they're almost caught, until they reach the diner. There they meet Dolly, Lester, and Surge. Shaggy and Scooby pig out on donuts, while Fred, Velma, and Daphne listen in on the story of how Lester got proved by the aliens. Lester offers to show the gang pictures of the ship and they agree to follow him. They find out that the only pictures he has are paintings, as Lester is a landscape artiste. They're's no hotels in the town, so Lester lets them stay at his place. He lets Shaggy and Scooby sleep on the roof, for some reason, and the two get kidnapped by the aliens. They're's a scene in the ship, and then they wake up to meet a girl and her dog, Crystal and Amber. If there's anything the movie lacks is in it's plot and mystery, there's nothing really going on. It's like a stretched out episode of What's New, before What's New was even a thing. The mystery is also not interesting, as you only care about two things, aliens and hippie women. Many people consider this the worst of the four Mook Animation Scooby movies, but I like it. I see what they mean, but this is the one I most remember and like. The other's never rang with me like this one did. There animation is also really good, although it's lighter in tone compared to Zombie Island and Witch's Ghost. Let me just comment on the music here, it's good. How Groovy will always be a tune that is stuck in my head, and for personal reasons. I'm a fan of 90s pop, and also a fan of juvenile lovey-dovey stuff. Every time Shaggy says Shaggy Jr., I go like, why couldn't this have actually been a thing. Jennifer Love Hewitt's rendition of the Scooby-Doo is kind on the ears, it could be worse, like in Cyber Chase. That song during the cave chase scene is also good, it really doesn't stand out as much as the other two songs. I didn't even remember that it was in the movie. There are also some pretty enjoyable characters. Lester, Dolly, Amber, Shaggy, and Scooby. All of them, not counting Scooby and Shaggy, are people who definitely need more screen time like the Hex Girls from last movie. Fred, Daphne, and the SALF employees are okay, and there are parts of the movie where Velma says some cringe-worthy stuff that I'd rather not mention here. There's also a mechanic who barely does anything. He fixes the gang's van and he collects pressed flowers. I love Crystal. She should be apart of the gang, she didn't deserve to be treated like a secondary character in a franchise that doesn't appreciate those kind of people. While she is pretty basic and weird, you'll know why if you watch the ending, she's got this weird little charm on her. She's a very likable character and her relationship with Shaggy is one of the greatest things to ever happen to the Scooby-Doo franchise, even if it was for a short amount of time. It may be sappy, but it gets me, when I see her leave at the end of the movie, as well as leaving the franchise forever. This may not be a good movie in terms of plot, but what it lacks it makes up for it with charm and likability. I give it a 6/10. Any of the Scooby-Doo writers reading this, bring back Crystal and Amber. --JoshTheCelluloader.