hornbys-60213 Reviews

Scoop (2024)

A tedious rerun of the infamous interview

[4/10 · 8 April 2024]

If you enjoy seeing endless scenes of Billie Piper walking along streets and down corridors then this is the film for you.

The potential was for a unique insight into the Newsnight production process and the Palace press office as they agree to and execute the interview. Instead, you get some BBC bureaucracy, a hint of classism and almost no insight into why Prince Andrew did what he did.

The piece them makes some laboured points about feminism and pads itself out with a pointless recreation of the interview itself, which, robbed of the drama of fresh revelations, barely holds any interest however well acted.

Mad About the Boy: The Noel Coward Story (2023)

Mediocre rehash of what we already know

[6/10 · 5 June 2023]

Very mediocre hagiography that rehashs what we already know and avoids most of the darker stuff. The details of his sex life are obfuscated by a lens that only wants to see long term lovers and the details of quite who he's doing what with when become quite unclear.

I'm not sure why it does the most boring narrative choice of birth to death linear narrative. Better to have started in the 1950s as he fell deeper and deeper out of favour.

But there is some great archive and they allow the clips to play without narrating over everything.

Rupert Everett barely dials in his vocal performance as Coward. They should've used AI like The Andy Warhol Diaries did so successfully.

Harry & Meghan (2022)

Boring self-pity party

[1/10 · 9 December 2022]

It's hard to imagine how to make the autobiography of a Prince who resigns from the world's most famous family dull, but they do it. Utterly self-absorbed and persistently self-pitying, they come across really poorly. They're out of story already. All this contains is a more detailed rehash of what we already know with friends brought in to pad out the story. They just keep rehashing their love story in frankly nauseating detail. What have they got left to tell or sell after this dreadful outing. Why would they do this whilst also claiming that they want to keep their privacy? They even feature intimate footage of their children whilst talking about consent over who photographs you. Terrible at each and every level it's possible to be terrible.

When We Rise (2017)

Worthy but dull

[6/10 · 6 July 2022]

This is vital history that needs to be told, but this telling is humourless and often pretty dull. It repeats a lot of what was in 'Milk' albeit from another point of view. And it feels like it loops through the same issues and lessons episode after episode. It's basically a biopic of Cleve Jones.

Spencer (2021)

Insulting to everyone it depicts

[3/10 · 15 November 2021]

There is no plot. OK, so the characterisation needs to be compelling. It isn't. Diana is reduced to a cliched set of mental illness signifiers. She's selfish, brittle and small. The depiction of the Royal Family is ridiculous, and Sandringham (a private country house) is turned into a sprawling, sterile palace. Even the famously flat Norfolk coastline gains cliffs. Stewart's performance is reductive and ridiculous and her accent is laughable. Diana was a Sloane Ranger and Stewart just serves up a breathy generic English posh voice. An epic fail with some good cinematography.

The Lost Boys (1978)

Turgid drama but great performances

[5/10 · 20 September 2021]

Such story as there is moves at a snail's pace. The four and a half hours could readily be condensed into three. There's a lot of coughing, sniffing and reading out or narrating letters. It really fails narratively. However, Holm gives a great central performance and the child performances are all strong. The sound is terrible, with background noise overwhelming the dialogue in many scenes but the detailed sets convey the period effectively.

Cruella (2021)

Turgid, unfunny prequel

[2/10 · 30 August 2021]

Theo's origins story is a mess. It's totally unconvincing as the actual early life of Cruella, but more importantly it's no fun at all. It misses all the pay-off for every gag. It has the most ridiculous voiceover filling in all the plot holes and attempting to amplify the acting. And Emma Thompson is terrible in it. Every scene she's in dulls to a standstill. A real missed opportunity.

Personal Services (1987)

Bad version of a good story.

[4/10 · 8 April 2021]

This is a rare misfire from Julie Walters. She performs her role as if it's a series of Victoria Wood sketches. In this context, it comes across a horribly over-acted and one dimensional. The script is a tedious plod through events and the comedy it's aiming at mainly misfires.

Greenland (2020)

The apocalypse made boring

[2/10 · 6 February 2021]

It's billed as a disaster movie and there's about 10 minutes of disaster in it. Lots of tedious travelling and mediocre acting. Big disappointment.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Great cast wasted on a terrible script

[3/10 · 16 March 2020]

The cast are all women of talent, funny and great actors in other work. So, what are they doing in this rubbish. It's humour is juvenile and mostly rests on inverse sexism. It makes a few welcome nods to the original movies but this is the kind of movie that thinks that sexual harassment in the workplace is funny, as long as the victim is a man.

The Bride (1985)

Sting got stung

[2/10 · 21 January 2020]

This is a risible remake of an almost prefect film. It tries to offer what it claims is a feminist re-centring of the original, but just ends up destroying the queer charm of the original for the sake of some laboured 'I will not do what you tell me' speeches from the Bride. Even the grace of Quentin Crisp can not save this terrible piece from grave.

Frankie Howerd: Rather You Than Me (2008 TV Movie)

Beautifully crafted biopic

[10/10 · 22 November 2019]

This is a wonderful piece that rightly centres Frankie's relationship and his family history. It's isn't a comedy. It's a careful examination of how someone's upbringing informs their choices, and how gay love can be expressed in public and private at this repressive time. Rafe Spall is a revelation.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

A messed-up mash-up

[3/10 · 7 September 2019]

This film has no idea what it is. Part horror, part biopic, part romance with each part detracting from the other. A horrible, humourless mess. It straight-washes not only Lincoln's life but also the whole vampire myth. Some good action sequences but not enough of them.

Hannah Gadsby: Nanette (2018 TV Special)

A lecture dressed as stand-up

[4/10 · 6 July 2019]

Politically this is spot-on, but it's often a diatribe coming from a place of pain and struggle. It's raw and some might see it as self-indulgent. But it's biggest flaw is it's not very funny and not very original other than in its serious moments which are affecting.

Traitors (2019)

Turgid and unfocussed

[3/10 · 3 April 2019]

Keeley Hawes is wonderful throughout but she's the only good thing about it. It sets up lots of things and then struggles to offer decent payoffs. The lighting is about the worst of any tv drama, reducing whole scenes to little more than shadowplay. A real waste.

England Is Mine (2017)

Waste of a great cast and a brilliant story

[2/10 · 17 March 2019]

One of the greatest, tortured unconsummated love affairs in musical history, the story of Morrissey and Marr, is decentered from the story in favour of a series of asexual girlfriend. There's a lot of tedious, plotless nostalgia about being a thwarted pop star for about 80% of the film. The story begins in the final ten minutes of the film, and then just grinds to a halt. Jack Lowden works hard but as an alpha jock actor he is horribly miscast as Morrissey. A wasted opportunity.

The Guard (2011)

Quirky and wonderful film with poor sound

[8/10 · 14 January 2019]

The film is full of the kind of genuine emotion that doesn't wear its heart on its sleeve. A personal, powerful view of an isolated community. The only thing that lets it down is the terrible sound quality full of amateursish errors that make some sections of dialogue hard to hear and irritating to listen to.