aansara-67591 Reviews

Arthur the King (2024)

Fine, but...

[6/10 · 24 May 2024]

This is a formulaic movie, you won't see anything new here. But that's fine. It's not meant to be high art and challenge the viewer.

The directing, acting, dialogue, are all fine and the outdoor scenes are spectacular. Which is good because 90% of this movie takes place outdoors.

The formula for this movie is the time honored dog movie and that's where I struggled a little bit. I was left wondering about the audience. What I mean by that is dog movies are typically "Benji" style family flicks where the cute dog steals the movie from the human actor(s) and enthralls the little ones in the family with his cute antics. Or, "Turner and hooch" style films, where the dog is initially a pain to its owner, but the owner grows to love the dog in the end.

This one seemed to be more of an outdoor adventure flick with a dog story tacked on. I understand why this would appeal to fitness fanatic Mark Wahlberg, but was left wondering If there were enough outdoor adventure fans in the viewing audience to support it and definitely wondered how this would keep younger kids engaged for over 1 1/2 hours.

Again. It was fine and definitely worth streaming, but I was glad I did not pay the extra money to see it in a theater.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

You made a boring Indiana Jones movie

[1/10 · 7 February 2024]

Wow. You waited this long to produce something far worse than Crystal Skull.

The first thing that jumped out to me was when they played the iconic Indiana Jones theme during the most boring Indy chase scenes ever filmed. Multiple times.

From there, it was the boring "scary" scenes. Remember when Indy is dropped into the snake pit and the cobra hisses at him? The human sacrifice scene of Temple of Doom ? Or the catacombs and rats of Last Crusade? Well Lucasfilm most definitely did forget. A swarm of eels? Seriously? Because they sort of look like snakes I guess? A waterslide? The centipede scene only demonstrates how Phoebe Waller Bridge can't act scared and that Harrison Ford was either phoning this in, or the game has passed him by.

Next, they managed to waste Mads Mikkelson, an actor I assumed could roll out of bed and play an interesting villain. You know what they say about assumptions though. He makes Dr. Evil look competent by comparison.

The CGI is awful. The action scenes are completely forgettable or even laughable. The climactic battle between Roman triremes and the German bomber is incredibly stupid. What's the one thing you might not want to do when flying against an enemy that could hit you with only low altitude spears and rocks? Yup. Fly straight at low altitude, I'm sure that will work just fine! The movie is excruciatingly long. The Salah, and Marion memberberries are just sad. Speaking of sad, why waste Antonio Banderas in this?

Finally, they turned Indy into a pathetic has been. Remember when Indy always saved the day? Well if you liked that just wait till Wombat and Teddy do it!

This is a movie that should never have been made. I wouldn't be against a reboot of Indiana Jones with a different actor. But I am very dubious Disney/Lucasfilm could ever do it without churning out another piece of trash that would just further tarnish the brand.

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023– )

These characters aren't in the movie right?

[2/10 · 16 January 2024]

I started this series off with a 7 after 2 episodes. Slow burn, not enough monsters, but they were introducing us to new characters, so it was okay. Than they started to tell us the characters backstories. Which made it worse.

So, even fewer monsters, and characters who ranged from mildly annoying, to whiny baby, to someone we're supposed to root for even though all she does is be an a-hole to everyone she meets (even a random airline counter employee) and whine about why she doesn't get free alcohol and seat upgrades. Until the writers decide she's into the other girl lead even though they have zero chemistry, mainly because she's a deceitful a-hole. So my score got reduced to a 5.

But it just got worse. The writing and dialogue is awful. As in CW level cringe. Three of us finished the series because we'd started it together. We all thought it was terrible. None will return if there is a second season.

The finale shows Kong on Skull Island with the "protagonists" which led to my review title. I will seriously reconsider going to the theater if they are in it, this was that bad.

Polite Society (2023)

A little bizarre but fun, heartwarming and original

[8/10 · 26 June 2023]

A bit of an odd take on some otherwise familiar themes. Two sisters who are also best friends have big dreams and are each other's biggest supporters. The oldest is going to get married and give up on hers so the youngest, with the help of her best friends, sets out to ruin the wedding in increasingly crazy fashion. Again, pretty familiar themes.

The movie continues to get more outlandish as it goes on until we get the big reveal at the end. The actors were uniformly great, but I really liked the leads 2 close friends. It also gives the viewer a look at British-Pakistani culture which, as an American, was interesting to see.

It reminded me a lot of "Hot Fuzz" and the other Edgar Wright Cornetto comedies, where you have crazy, almost absurdist comedic scene's playing out over seemingly normal occurrences and the viewer is asking what's going on here? It only all comes together near the end. Well worth watching, and gets extra credit for offering something different.

A Man Called Otto (2022)

Solid movie

[7/10 · 18 May 2023]

This was not marketed well. The trailers made it look like much more of a comedy than it actually was. There are some funny scenes/lines, but it's a very serious movie in many aspects, very much a dramady.

It deals with mental health issues like loneliness, loss and depression in a sensitive manner. The acting is good with Tom Hanks giving his usual outstanding performance. The writing is mostly solid but gets a little too on the nose in parts. My main criticism is it could have used a little more editing, but that seems to be an issue with most movies today. It was about 20 minutes too long.

I streamed this but would've been fine paying to see it in a theater. Definitely worth watching.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

How to ruin Antman

[3/10 · 16 May 2023]

So bad. An Ant-man movie where he's barely in the 1st 1/2. As in, don't even call it Ant-man. How about, "Ant-mans extended, super annoying family of self-absorbed narcissists where he'll show up for cameos now & then; oh, and his daughter will treat him like crap"

The 1st 2 movies had a whimsical, fun aspect to them. This had only dumb jokes randomly thrown into the dialogue.

They made his daughter massively annoying. Crap CGI. Stupid plot. MODOC is laughably bad. Maybe the worst CGI villain ever. Marvel used to make fun movie's. Hopefully Guardians of the Galaxy 3 will bring that back. Do better Marvel!

Inside (I) (2023)

Very niche

[6/10 · 12 May 2023]

An indy, artsy, psychological movie. Very much niche. If you like that kind of movie, you'll probably enjoy this. If not, unfortunately you're going to find it very weird and slow. As in, if that's not your kind of movie, excruciatingly slow.

I get why Willem Defoe was attracted to this role, he gets to truly act and show a range of emotion. And, he's very good. But, you've got to like the overall tone of the movie: i.e (weird/slow).

So if what I just wrote isn't in your wheelhouse, I would recommend a pass. Again, not a bad movie, but you need to be the target audience to really enjoy it. But I think those outside that target audience will be bored.

This used to be an art house movie. Again, unfortunately they seem to be disappearing. I'm not sure streaming suits this genre.

Blackhat (2015)

How do you make an action, crime, thriller boring?

[3/10 · 9 February 2023]

I get this was made in 2015 when Hollywood was aiming for the Chinese market. And their viewing preferences might be very different to mine, that's fine. But this was a really boring movie. Minimal action. Zero suspense. Not at all thrilling. Both Davis and Hemsworth got paid but both have done way better. It seems like just a paycheck for each of them.

The Chinese actors do better but there's not much to work with.

This is simply a poor movie. You can make an action movie that's cheesy; This takes itself too seriously for that. And there's no suspense at all. As for thrilling? Not in the least.

Interceptor (2022)

Awful

[12 June 2022]

This might be the worst thing I've ever started watching. It's like the director & writers purposely sat in a room & tried to find the worst of the worst examples of this genre. It would've worked better as a parody played straight for laughs. They should've named the 1 guy JEB Stuart he was such a cartoonish stereotype.

Nobody (I) (2021)

John Wick/Red Mashup

[8/10 · 26 March 2021]

A very fun action movie. Not quite as over the top (but close) as John Wick. Reminded me of the Red movies as well. If you like those movies, you'll enjoy this.

The Little Things (2021)

Boring & Silly

[3/10 · 4 February 2021]

Suspension of disbelief should not be used as a security blanket to allow lazy writing. Trained investigators do stupid things only because the plot needs them to. The dramatic opening scene is resolved and turns out to be a complete waste of 10 minutes of film; it is seriously a complete waste of time.

I get it's supposed to be a "who done it", & that's the hook. But the key to that is looking back and remembering what you missed over the course of the movie, a la Keyser Soze. This is just random nonsense that leads to any conclusion you want because...it's random nonsense.

And the worst part is, because of all the above, it's boring to watch. Jared Leto is just there to give a creepy vibe. Denzel Washington & Rami Malek are no one's idea of "elite" homicide detectives.

B Positive (2020–2022)

Really disappointing

[3/10 · 11 December 2020]

I like most Chuck Lorre sitcoms; I loved Thomas Middleditch in Silicon Valley; I really liked Annaleigh Ashford in the 1st episode. That said, the political and religious jokes are gratuitous & bad. In fact, almost all of the jokes are bad, which is highlighted by the worst laugh track I've heard in a long time, if not ever. The writing is really, really poor.

Middleditch is basically reprising his Silicon Valley character. But in SV, he was charmingly goofy/nerdy. In B+, he's an unfunny, unlovable, unsympathetic lead character ( which is not good given he has a serious disease we should obviously care about). Ashford is very talented with great delivery and timing; but why would you give her, and her best friend, the vocal stylings of an '80's valley girl? That voice is going to start to grate after multiple episodes & to do the same with her work buddy? I'm expecting one of them to say, "Grody to the Max! Gag me with a spoon!"

The dialysis supporting cast, estranged wife, and daughter are all stereotypical, but fine. An extra star for giving Linda Lavin and Bernie Kopell decent roles.

I was really looking forward to this based on the trailers. But the first 2 episodes were poor & I suspect the best part of those episodes, Ashford, is going to become really annoying, totally! Fer shur!