mjanelle-24974 Reviews

The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024)

Senseless nonsense

[2/10 · 20 May 2024]

What a stupid, stupid, stupid movie. I have not seen the original source movie, nor the original remake, so I went into this screening based entirely on the previews. The previews held some promise, so while i didn't have a lot of expectations, I had some hope that it would be a passable horror flick. Nope!

So much makes no sense. The two central characters are seen driving in their relatively new luxury car, when they stop for a bite to eat after driving for X hours without any stops (not even for gas?). We notice some kind of creepy people at the rundown auto shop next to the cafe where the couple stops. They have their food, making a big show of her being vegetarian and asking for things that will likely NOT be on the menu (not making any friends, but they'll never see these people again, right?). When they return to their car, the car won't start. Surprise! And they need to leave the car with the owner of the rundown auto shop. And oh, we can't have the parts needed until tomorrow (without having first taken a look to see if maybe it was just a loose wire or something? )

Here there was some promise. Maybe a nod to Dead & Buried. But no...

The couple end up at an Airbnb in the middle of the woods, miles from anything. But they have good wifi and/or cell service, so it seems. When the guy goes back into town for something (i forget what) and some food, the girl starts hearing noises from within the house, and people wearing masks just start showing up, after the lights inexplicably go off.

Flash forward a bit (us, not the movie). There's scarecrow guy with an ax who just starts busting doors (but then doesn't open them to get at the people inside). Maybe he's toying with them. But it doesn't seem so. There's a lot of almost violence, but not really anything. Even when there is bloodshed, it's tame. Mostly it's just people walking around looking for each other, either to inflict harm for fun, or, well, to inflict harm (for self-protection). Finally the boy and the girl get caught and tied up. The bad guys just stare at them, maybe toying with them? Maybe not sure what to do? Dunno.

In the end one of the couple dies (more on that later). The other one is left for dead. We find out in the end that she survived and is now in a hospital room, to be continued....

So much didn't make sense or lacked continuity. The guy keeps injuring the same foot/leg in different ways (tripping on things that don't seem to be there, banging against furniture, getting beat up in a truck that keeps being battered by another truck). But he never seems to limp much. The couple tries to escape by way of a truck that was left by the handyman/owner? Who was called earlier to fix the fridge, and is now dead by way of mistaken identity. They are stopped from leaving by another truck that suddenly appears, driven by scarecrow man (who was JUST in the house, but now seems to be in the truck). The truck rams the couple's truck repeatedly, but then a shot of that truck shows NO damage. Hm... And no, it's not a Hummer.

Finally, the piece de resistance of bad continuity, when the guy is stabbed in the back while tied to a chair, and then is kicked over, the is a big show of him lying on the floor spitting up blood as he dies. Pool of blood right next to his head. Vivid. They make sure you see it. Two minutes later, there is a pan out shot, showing the guy and the girl (now also on the floor tied to a chair after having been stabbed - seemingly in the private parts) and lo and behold, that conspicuous pool of blood vomit is gone. The floor next to his head/face is perfectly clean.

Amateurish in the extreme. And there's going to be TWO MORE?!?!?! As I've seen it said before, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you. Fool us three times, shame on the studio who made this driven.

And hey, i thought Roger Corman was dead...

Challengers (2024)

Where Love means Nothing

[4/10 · 28 April 2024]

Literally.

OMG what a stupid, aimless, pointless movie. It's unclear throughout whether this movie is about Zendaya's character, Faist's character, or O'Connor's character. The focus shifts every ten minutes or so, so sometimes it's about Tashi, the tennis wunderkind who has a career ending injury before he career really gets off the ground. Sometimes it's about Art, the unrequited lover who becomes her tennis star husband. Sometimes it's about Patrick, the down on his luck former best friend of Art, former lover of Tashi. There's tennis matches involved, but it's never really clear the significance of any of them. We see these characters across a 13 year span, non-linearly jumping back and forth and in between seemingly at whim. This is, I guess, supposed to give us context, but just ends up confusing. The characters seem to age only through hairstyle, so unless one is paying very close attention to their tresses, it's often unclear which "era" we are watching.

I like Zendaya, and feel she is a capable and promising actor. She has done some wonderful things. I'm not a huge fan of Faist. I know him from Dear Evan Hansen (kind of a nothing, filler role that only serves as a foil for the main character) and West Side Story (where he was an underwhelming Riff). I'm unfamiliar with O'Connor's work. None of these actors shine in this. Granted, they had a not great script to work from, and Guadagnino's direction is all over the place. So maybe we can't blame them too much.

But none of the characters is likeable. Tashi lives her tennis career through her champion husband, but it cold, calculating, unloving, except to her daughter. Art is going through the motions of the game knowing it is the only way to keep his wife, and is miserable both in the game and the marriage, but unwilling to do anything about it. Patrick is the down on his luck rich kid (yeah, he could in one phone call he could solve all his problems, but there would be strings, and he doesn't like strings), angry that his former friend got the girl, and unwilling to grow up and admit that his best days are behind him.

I get the cynical analogy of Tennis as Life. Love means nothing. Advantage goes back and forth between players. The person on the sidelines is sometimes the most important part of the game. But none of these points are focused on in any meaningful way in the movie. We see lots of trick shots, but only the trick, not the full arc of the shot. We almost never see the "winning point". We find out who won by what happens in the next scene. There is one interesting set up where Art tells Patrick (when they are kids at Tennis Academy and rivals for Tashi's "service") to tell him whether he slept with the girl by serving like he (Art) does. The device is repeated at the end of the movie when Art's and Tashi's marriage is crumbling, but it it COMPLETELY predictable, and while it raises Art's ire, it does nothing for the audience.

I'd love to find a pithy tennis analogy to end this review. How about this. I almost walked out. I stayed hoping it would get better and have a redeeming ending. It didn't Ad Out. Double fault.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Turn off your mind and enjoy the ride

[7/10 · 12 April 2024]

This movie is fun. It's a mess, but it's a lot of fun. It is the ultimate in excess in the form of a sci fi movie. Of course it's by the Wachowskis. It's glitzy. It makes no sense. It's suspenseful and predictable at the same time. The acting is fascinating in how bad it can be. And yet the characters draw you in. You obviously root for Mila Kunis' character and her dog/man hero (of course named Caine - as in canine - yea it's obvious and corny but somehow works) who it also seems is an angel with clipped wings. This is silly, silly fun filled with excess, sci fi wizardry. Beautiful to look at. Catch it on your favorite streaming service. You won't improve your life any, but you'll have a good time.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Mostly stupid but still entertaining

[6/10 · 31 March 2024]

First a little mini rant. I've noticed a trend that action/superhero/effects movies tend to have a 3D release. With a few notable exceptions, there seems to be no reason for it. There are a lot of really cool potential effects that the filmmakers could use to make 3D worthwhile, but they usually end up not using the. So PLEASE STOP!!

OK, so on to the review. This movie is a mess. Put more truthfully, it's really TWO movies. There's the monster movie of Kong fighting a tribe of ancient enslaved apes with an equally enslaved ice monster (the Godzilla/anti-Godzilla concept was actually kind of cool), Godzilla fighting the Titans and wrecking havoc on world cities, and Mothra bringing order and balance to the whole. Then there's the human movie of discovering a lost (and quite advanced civilization) that unites Jia with the people she thought she had lost (oh, and she's a Messiah/savior figure to boot - who would have guessed)?

The Monster Movie is fun, as you would expected (and again, here's where the 3D effects would have done in really handy and been really cool - lost opportunity, guys). It's really stupid and nonsensical, but run to watch Rome, and Cairo and the Pyramids, and Rio get tromped on by Godzilla and the other beasts. In this case there's little to no dialogue or acting needed, so it's pure action.

The secondary discovery of the lost civilization movie had real potential. Since it was nestled inside the monster movie, there was not really enough time to develop this, so it felt rushed and perfunctory. This could have been a sort of Underground Pandora, with (again lost opportunity) cool 3D graphics. But because this is really a monster movie, the action jumped back and forth between the two, sometimes with scenes of humans trying to track Godzilla (why?). It makes the movie kind of a disjointed mess.

The writing and acting are stupendously bad - terrific waste of some really good talent.

I would have loved for this to have actually been two different movies. The origin story of the telepathic Iwi, how they ended up in the uncharted second level underground layer of Hollow Earth, and the story behind their (apparently) special relationship with Mothra would have been really and could have made up a full movie (or even franchise) in and of itself.

Ultimately, it's got the same appeal of a Mission:Impossible or Fast and Furious movie. Sometimes you just want to go see things get blowed up.

Immaculate (2024)

This had cheesy written all over it but turned out to be a fine wine

[8/10 · 23 March 2024]

This movie was so well done! It started out with the trope of the defenseless woman running away from some unknown evil only to get caught in its embrace. And then the trope of the innocent having to confront evil in the religious institution. I all starts out feeling like it's been done before. But then it didn't. There's a palpable tension as the novice nun tries to figure out her surroundings and its strange inhabitants. You expect jump scares, apparitions of past inhabitants/victims of the convent, but they never come (which is part of the fun).

We learn during the celebration of Sister Cecilia's vows that she drowned as a young girl having fallen through the ice , and her heart stopped for 7 minutes. But God saved her for some purpose, and she became a nun. When he becomes pregnant without having had sexual relations with a man, she is bewildered but never quite believes that this is the purpose for high he was saved. (This is juxtaposed with a later statement that if this were not God's plan, why has he not stopped it?).

All becomes clear at the end, which while gruesome and anti-intuitive, is still satisfying. We expect an Omen or Rosemary's Baby twist. But the final twist is entirely different.

Well done.

The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024)

Uncomfortable but ultimately liked it

[7/10 · 16 March 2024]

This movie made me incredibly uncomfortable through most of it. Imagine a middle class white guy watching a movie whose premise is that the purpose of black people is to make white people comfortable. I mean WTAF? The fact that the main character seems JUST as uncomfortable with this premise made me feel (ironically) more comfortable, and the payoff at the end (despite a kind of silly final twist) made the movie more palatable, and the lightbulb went off in my head, and I got it.

It's well written but very talkie (the way a Kevin Smith movie is). That's it!!! This is a Kevin Smith movie but written and directed by a black man. The acting is good but some of the chemistry between the characters is lacking.

The Regime (2024)

Do I like this?

[5/10 · 14 March 2024]

I'm two episodes into this show, and I'm not sure i like it. I don't dislike it, per se. I like Kate Winslet quite a lot, but her character seems a bit one note. Yes, she's insane (germophobic and paranoid to the extreme) and completely delusional. But her character kind of ends there. Give me what I want and only what I want. I'm beginning to think that the show may be more about her bodyguard/handler, Herbert, than about the dictator Elena. But even he is a bit of a stock character, strong and menacing, with some kind of inner demon he must endure. All the others around her are sycophants (even her fawning husband) who have seem to be involved in some sort of nefarious business dealings with the Americans who want to harvest Elena's country's apparently rich cobalt reserves. But it all seems terribly predictable, not particularly well-written, and a little all over the place in terms of tone and style. There was one amusing scene where Martha Plimpton's character (a pompous US senator) is cornered by the menacing Herbert, and you see her bravado melt like soft serve ice cream on a hot day. It could be good satire, if the characters all weren't so arch.

Drive-Away Dolls (2024)

Pure dirty in your face fun

[9/10 · 26 February 2024]

I will agree with many that a Coen Brothers movie (even when it is only one brother) is an acquired taste. But I have loved them since Blood Simple. And this is no exception. This is a low budget (in the best possible way) lesbian love story road trip movie with surprise after surprise. There's a hatbox with accompanying suitcase that yield unusual fruit. A chase, a caper, blackmail, and just desserts. Well acted, smart and cleverly written. There are parts that are outrageously funny, others that are poignant in an almost pornographic way. Yes it's dirty, but not gratuitously so. Everything makes sense. Everything has a purpose. And there's a nice payoff at the end.

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

The love child of John Waters and Tim Burton

[9/10 · 10 February 2024]

Low budget that doesn't feel cheesy. Kinda stylish, rocking late '80s Madonna fashion, schmaltzy arena rock, and wink-wink nudge-nudge self-awareness. It has fun little details like every time the creature cycles through the electricity he becomes a little more human, and sheds a bug or a worm, usually to hysterical effect. Excellent performances from the stars (him entirely non-verbal until the very last poetic scene, and her a little two verbal until, again, the final poetic scene). There are bits remeniscent of Kathleen Turner's Serial Mom and Jerry Stiller in Hairspray. It's over the top, a little bit tacky, and so much fun.

Beef (2023– )

Nearly perfect

[9/10 · 18 January 2024]

Just finished watching Beef and haven't enjoyed a comedy (albeit dark) series this much since I can't remember when. While the peripheral characters are all pretty stock (the overprotective and judgemental mothwr-in-law, the clueless husband, the bored, grasping gold digger housewife, the eccentric but clueless billionaire boss, the berserker criminal cousin, the pampered and spoiled little brother). But the brilliance of this series is the two main characters and their escalating feud. Can't give anything away because that would spoil the fun (at least half of which is discovering how far each of these profoundly damaged people will go.

Mean Girls (2024)

Not so mean girls

[6/10 · 14 January 2024]

I really wanted to like this one. I really did. I love the original, and of course, i know this is a different movie, based on the Broadway musical based on the original (and all written by Tina Fey). Of course i know that there was no need for a direct remake, since the original was near perfection. However, this just didn't work. There was no chemistry, no motivation for the characters. I did like that it's done from Damian and Janice's point of view. But the rest of it feels flat.

The positives - Renee Rapp has a voice on her, as does Jeremy Spivey. For me they were the highlights of the show. There are some cute moments. Some new lines, but nothing really memorable or quotable.

So, meh. It was OK.

Anyone But You (2023)

Pretty much by the book RomCom

[6/10 · 7 January 2024]

While we were looking for parking at the theater to see this movie with my husband, based on the trailer we had seen a couple of times, I described what I thought the plot of this movie was going to be. I described it almost exactly. There's nothing new or original here. From trivia I've seen, it's based on a Shakespeare play, but so many are anyway. So nothing eye opening here. Doesn't even really open up the play any. But it is enjoyable fun with some good chemistry between the two leads (who you might recognize from Euphoria and the new Top Gun).

There's a couple of gags that were amusing but would have been more effective if they had been played out a little more.

I was disappointed that the movie pretty much wasted the other actors (the great Rachel Griffith, Bryan Brown, and Dermot Mulroney) who are given not much to do and what they do get is pretty lame. I was disappointed, too, that the location shots felt like something a tourist would capture on their iPhone as they mulled around the harbor around Sydney.

But overall it was fun. My husband really enjoyed it (although he did seem a little annoyed when I pointed out that I had nailed the plot without first having seen it). This won't win any awards for acting or writing or cinematography or ... But it was a nice, light piece of cotton candy to enjoy on a Friday evening.

Migration (I) (2023)

Cute but trite

[6/10 · 31 December 2023]

Been there, seen it. This felt a little bit like Finding Nemo meets Ice Age. Scared father doesn't want family to leave the confines of the known and safe. Finally they set off on a trek, totally unprepared for what's out there. They pick up some stragglers. They have a couple of adventures. They find themselves in peril then get out of it. Meanwhile there's little pearls of wisdom that's leaned by one and all. The bad guys are really bad. The good guys are really good. But no one gets seriouslt hurt, not even the bad guys. Eventually they reach their destination and everyone lives happily ever after. Until the next adventure.

Cute jokes. Mostly for kids. Some kind for the adults. Nothing risqué or off color.

The most entertaining part was the pre movie short (a Minons story) that also seemed like a remake (of a Roadrunner Wiley Coyote short). Hi hum.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Better off leaving this one behind.

[4/10 · 31 December 2023]

This should have been a series. It would have allowed for more exposition, explanation, and explanation of the apparent themes, a different theme or human trait for each episode. I understand the idea of now having any information source to be unsettling or even scary. But to lose information for a single day or even a weekend should not elicit these kinds of reactions from people. Without some sort of physical catastrophe (a nuclear explosion, a devastating earthquake) society does not just fall apart in a day. If there were information afforded to the people about what was going on, then maybe. But there is NO information given other than a couple of updates on a phone that's not supposed to be working that there was some kind of hacker attack. Again, people wait these kinds of things out.

Of course there is always the possibility to seeking out other people. But allegedly this is not the time of year when there are a lot of people out in mid-Long island (despite the full parking lot at the local general store, the packed beach, the weather warm enough to swim and sunbathe. The trip to the house is rife with highway signs, street signs, etc. Yet suddenly (overnight) there are no street signs, and no one noticed?

So in one weekend, the characters figured out that there's a terrorist attack, and society is falling apart, with no information to go on, just their own fear, which seems to go in and out like a faulty internet connection.

Sorry, don't buy it. This premise had so much promise. It should have been a mini-series. Then they could have made it make sense.

The Color Purple (2023)

The Color Meh

[6/10 · 29 December 2023]

I'll start by saying that several performances were REALLY good, particularly Shug and Sophia (hello, Oscar?). But the movie felt flat. I know this is a different version (from the Broadway show) and definitely not a remake of the Steven Spielberg film. And while the music was good, I found it distracting, inserted into the story rather than advancing the story like a musical should. The characters felt undeveloped and ultimately unresolved. We saw some of the brutality of Mister but not his cruelty. We saw kindness of Celie but not her true goodness. And finally the choreography. It was good, if this had been on stage. In the movie, the action of the story stops so the action of the dancing can begin. So it called attention to itself instead of, again, advancing the story without our noticing.

It's not a bad movie. It's just not really good.

Poor Things (2023)

Nearly flawless

[9/10 · 26 December 2023]

Honestly the movie speaks for itself. Surreal but relatable. Emma Stone is impeccable and deserves the Oscar she will undoubtedly be nominated for, if not won. So fascinating to watch as she progresses through her transformation. The same is true of Wllem Dafoe. I keep hearing about Ryan Gosling getting the podcast this year. But honestly I think it belongs to Dafoe. So much fun. I loved it.

The sets are a conglomeration of known sites squeezed into a single city square. The costumes are amazing. Everything is stylized in such an interesting way.

Without giving anything away, the movie loses a star from me for the amount of time spent in a brothel and the graphic nature of those scenes which were just this side of gratuitous. This is NOT a movie for kids or for the prurient.

Saltburn (2023)

Saltburn? How about Slowburn? REAL Dlow

[4/10 · 25 November 2023]

I love Emerald Fennell, so I was especially looking forward to this movie. Granted it doesn't start out badly. Starting with a talking head interview type monologue and then merging into the "scholarship student" thrown into upper crust society, homoerotic outsider looking yearningly towards his object of desire we've seen in so many Merchant Ivory movies. And the. It sits there for 30 minutes or so. Not moving. Then we're brought to the elitist estate with the big windows and mirrors and grounds with a maze (don't get lost, is the marketing tagline). The object of desire (and heir apparent) gives his summer friend an irreverent tour of the place. And then you realize they will sleep in adjoining rooms that share a bathroom (if that's OK) and we thing, well, this might be interesting. But no. We spend the next hour learning. Banalities about this family. But not even banal enough for us to begin to hate them. They're just sad. We know this story. There's some Teorema like encounters with different members of the (sometimes extended) family (some of you will get it) that might have also been interesting had they been explored. But no. When people start dying you think it's going to FINALLY get interesting. But no. It's handled with the same banality of the rest of the movie. And the payoff (with gratuitous nudity) you figured out about 30 minutes before. We want it to be about revenge, unrequited love (I can't have you so no one can), ambition, need for family. But it turns out to be just about greed. But even that payoff feels shortchanged.

Cocaine Bear (2023)

Suspend your disbelief

[7/10 · 27 February 2023]

I don't believe that there's a creature alive that can survive the amount of cocaine that this bear (and its cubs) does. Yet somehow this bear survives, goes on a 90 minute long rampage through a National Park and chocks up a body count worth of some of a slasher franchise.

This movie is based (loosely) on the true story of a cocaine smuggler who unloads his cocaine stash out of a plane in the mid-80s and then falls to his death when his chute doesn't open. The bear in question DID ingest a good amount of cocaine, but in reality dies almost immediately after. But where's the fun in that.

The movie is overall stupid and inane. Incompetence thrives here, on the part of the drug dealers, the park ranger (and her apparent love interest), a set of teenaged delinquents, a couple of ill-fortuned EMTs. Many (most) meet their demise at the hands of (directly or indirectly) of the afore mentioned bear. The guilty pleasure is in how each of these folks meet their end. Some gruesome, some gut bustingly funny. Call it blood slapstick.

Despite it's stupidity, though, it is fun to watch (thus a rating above a 5). Set aside your disbelieve and buckle in for the ride.

Cocaine Bear II anyone?

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

How do you solve a problem like the Apocalypse?

[4/10 · 5 February 2023]

What's the best way to take a really interesting concept and then do absolutely nothing with it? Give it to M. Night Shyamalan.

I went into this movie thinking that, like any MNS movie, it was going to be either really good, or really bad. This one defied my expectations. It was just MEH! Neither good (definitely not!), nor bad (it had SOME redeeming qualities). The concept was fascinating, when faced with an impossible choice, under duress, what choice would you make? To quote St. Sondheim, "I know what my decision is, which is not to decide."

We are taken into a peaceful, idyllic setting in the middle of the woods. A little girl, innocent and curious and kind, is collecting grasshoppers in a jar, not to torment them or kill them for her insect collection, but to study them and understand how they behave. This seems to potentially set up some kind of ultimate "unexpected/unlikely hero" scenario (it doesn't, but that would have been interesting). Instead she meets the gigantic and imposing Leonard who befriends her in a creepy, stranger danger kind of way (don't worry, none of that here...). But she's bright and gets the gist of what might be going on and runs into the house to warn her two dads (who initially think it's just her imagination running amok.

Things take a violent turn pretty quickly, with Leonard and his three "coworkers" force their way into the house and Daddy Eric unconscious and into a concussion. Luckily one of the "coworkers" is a nurse and tends to his injuries. Meanwhile the two dads are tied up (Daddy Eric still unconscious and Daddy Andrew furious - we find out later in one of several disconnected and ultimately worthless flashbacks that Andrew has a temper), but curiously the little girl (their adopted daughter Wen) is not tied up and eventually escapes (again, unlikely hero? Nope!), only to be caught and brought back to the fold.

The daddies are given a choice. They will be asked up to four times to make this choice. It is explained in GREAT detail. They must decide what one person in the family must die to prevent the Apocalypse. Oh, and none of the co-workers can kill them, and they cannot kill themselves. One of the two remaining family members must kill the chosen one. Why? Because these four saw visions and were brought to this place by those visions. Huh? So of course this is crazy, and the two daddies refuse.

Well, it turns out that with each refusal, one of the co-workers is killed. The actual killing is not shown onscreen, only the "tools" used to do the killing, the sound of the killing and beheading of the co-worker. Again, no reason is given for this brutality.

This repeats itself over and over with each coworker taking their turn being executed.

After each killing, the TV is turned on to show a disaster that is supposed to represent the judgement of a segment of humanity. There's earthquakes and tsunamis. There's a COVID-like plague, planes fall out of the sky, fierce storms and lightning set cities ablaze. Each of these disasters appears to have happened or originated in the past, giving credence to the two dads' belief that this is nothing but a crazy home invasion/torture situation.

In between each killing there is a flashback of the two dads. How they met, how they adopted Wen, being rejected by parents, a gay bashing they endured. None are germane really germane to the plot.

In the end, (after a flash forward) the dads make a decision. Then the tsunami floods stop (which they are prone to do), the plague subsides (which plagues are prone to do), planes stop falling from the sky (which eventually they had to do anyway), and the storms clear (which they are prone to do).

To its credit, there IS some good acting. The little girl is charming, but underused. Jonathan Groff can do no wrong. The co-workers morph back and forth between menacing and sympathetic/confused with relative ease. This kept my rating above a 3, but barely.

So what does it all mean? Um, you tell me, then we'll both know.

The Last of Us: Long, Long Time (2023) Season 1, Episode 3

Haters gonna hate...

[10/10 · 1 February 2023]

I very rarely give anything a 10 out of 10. Exception being made here. This was one of the more beautifully realized side stories I think I've ever seen in a television series, especially one that's basically about "zombies". I'm not getting the hate being expressed for this episode, other than some kind of thinly veiled homophobia.

But let's be real for a second. A series about two people fighting zombies (if that's what this is, though it seems like more of a Quest show - Joel needs to "deliver" Ellie somewhere) live in a world that contains more than just them. They will encounter other non-Zombie people. I didn't play the game, but I understand this is a Bill is a minor side character, but who still directly and indirectly interacts with Joel. What's wrong with making his life significant even if only for a moment. Why does a show about Zombies have be only about violence? Why can't it also be about humanity in its purest form, two people in love surviving and thriving on only each other, giving each other life and a reason to live (and a reason to die on their own terms)?

Their life together plays out as many couples do. The meet cute (Frank falls into a hole and convinces Bill not to kill him). Their shyly getting to know each other. The one bold move that binds them as a couple. The fights. The surprises. They work together against adversaries, even while each trying to separately protect the other. And their final scene, which on paper must seem tragic, is actually filled with the joy of two lives lived, in the end, in love and devotion.

So to those spewing hate on this episode which pulls beauty out of ugliness and happiness out of despair: Dudes! Get a life.

Infinity Pool (2023)

Que?

[5/10 · 30 January 2023]

Saw Infinity Pool last night. This is not for everyone. Actually, it's probably for very few. It's weird, it's gory, it's kind of anti-social and pathological, and sort of a new take on the trope of "rich people get away with everything". This one hinges on the premise that a poor, brutalistic Central European country has made a treaty with richer Western countries (for the purposes of increased tourism) where almost everything outside of the grounds of the various resorts are are crimes punishable by death, but that for "a substantial fee" the offender can have him/herself "doubled" with an exact replica (including all memories up to the point of doubling) to be executed in their place. And the offender must watch 'him/herself being executed (in pretty brutal ways). This is supposed to be punishment, but becomes sport. Little if anything is left to the imagination.

Good photography and editing. Some pretty good performances by some excellent actors. But not sure I'm glad I saw it. It's a Cronenberg (son) film, so take that for what it's worth.

Shotgun Wedding (2022)

2 hours of my life gone

[3/10 · 29 January 2023]

Saw Shotgun Weddding last night on Amazon. There's a reason it went straight to streaming. Silly. Poorly written. Poorly acted. Poorly executed and mostly predictable action sequences. Even Jennifer Coolidge couldn't salvage this (she did what she could with what she was given). I don't expect a lot from a Jennifer Lopez movie, but I do expect more than this.

Massively dysfunctional families. Father brings the girlfriend he left the mother for. Father invites the bride's ex (hoping to break up the relationship). The amazing Sonia Braga totally wasted and given codependent drivel to speak. Jennifer Coolidge has a few good lines, but they kind of come out of nowhere.

The Whale (2022)

Great performances in a problematic film.

[8/10 · 1 January 2023]

Saw The Whale last night. Let me say first that Aronofsky makes VERY problematic movies. But that's his point. He wants to provoke conversation. From the focus on the self-destructive intent of this particular obese person, to the misuses of religion, to the anger and bitterness that stems from broken and deceitful marriages, this was very uncomfortable to watch.

But damn the man can pull incredible performances out of his actors. BEST performance by an actor of the year, I don't care what the detractors say, bar none. And I'm not a Brendan Frazier fan. And Hong Chau had herself quite a year. Suitably intense and menacing in the Menu, here she was stern in her doling out of tough love but also displaying an OMG level of vulnerability. She probably won't win this year (this is another "year of the actress") but she has my vote for best supporting actress this year. Even the peripheral players were amazing, from Frazier's estranged ex-wife and daughter (the legendary Samantha Morton - you have to see her in the Serpent Queen - and Sadie Sink) to the missionary who tries to "save" Frazier's characte, and even the literally two second, non-verbal interaction between Grazier and the Pizza Guy.

Problematic as it is, I would highly recommend it. If you can see it in the theater, please do. I fear many of the subtleties of the performances will be lost on a smaller screen.

Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

WTF did I just see?

[8/10 · 25 September 2022]

When the movie started I had this feeling of having seen it before (Stepford anyone?). There is almost a balletic feel to the perfection of the little world and a voyeuristic satisfaction of watching a husband ravish his wife atop the dinner she lovingly spent the day preparing for him. All the wives are uniformly devoted. All the husbands leave for work in coordinated choreography. Yet there's a sense of animosity among the men as if they're sharing a secret that makes them uncomfortable. (They are). The movie continues in this vein. They are in an experiment of sorts. And with any experiment there is always anomalous data which must be expunged. Such is the timber if this movie.

Leave it to be said. The film is beautiful and interesting in the way a train wreck is interesting. There are big stars here who play basically bit parts. Only Florence Pugh has a role of any weight. And she's amazing. Unfortunately it's been done before.

And the last 15 minutes basically falls apart. Nothing about it makes sense or is explained. We know what is happening at this point but lightbulbs start inexplicably exploding. The wives suddenly are repulsed by their husbands. The men begin to fall apart as their Shangi La begins to deteriorate. But nothing is explained. And the movie ends in a non-ending leaving more questions than answers.

Yet overall I liked it. It's a mess. But it's a fun mess. You drive by unable to look away. And when you realize that no one was actually hurt it's ok. But the movie ends. And WTF did I just watch?

Barbarian (2022)

Great premise. Bad execution

[3/10 · 11 September 2022]

This movie felt like three different movies. The initial premise was great and every vacationer's nightmare. You rent an Airbnb a only to find it already occupied. Scam? Cross platform confusion? Who knows. This could have been a great paranoid atmosphere piece. But 20 minutes or so I'm it completely changes focus with a new location, new plot, new characters. Never came back to the initial promise. Then it shifts focus and timeframe again. It ended up being just another slayer/survivor movie. Part psychological thriller, part MeToo treatise, part slasher flick, part creepy neighbor kidnapper movie. Each premise held its own promise. Together it failed. The sum of the parts is definitely much less than the sum of the whole.

Seemed like a wasted effort.