Change Your Image
CrunchyBug
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Freshwater (2016)
Sorry Zoë
I'm a sucker for a creature feature, but I just couldn't get through this one. Zoë Bell did her best. Most of the actors did, in fact. I've seen worse. Much worse. But you can't make a silk purse of a sow's ear. You just end up with a weird lookin' purse and a really angry pig.
Or something like that.
In any case, for me the two big problems were editing and visual effects. Obviously, in a creature feature, visual effects are your bread and butter. And, sadly, the bread and butter in this movie made for one laughable sandwich. I've seen smartphone apps that could superimpose digital effects more convincingly. Made me feel bad for the monster. Poor fella.
As for the editing, it was just a bit... wonky. People standing still for just a beat too long at the start of a scene, for example. Just makes things seem a bit unnatural. And the movie's editing woes gave some scenes a really odd sense of timing. For example, the scene where the lady's playing fetch with her dog, Fluffy. Oddly cut and oddly timed with weird shots of a dog standing alone in the weeds... If you haven't seen the movie and you're a kinda confused trying to picture what I just said in your head, that's pretty much what it feels like watching the scene, too.
I was really hoping I'd like this one, but I just couldn't. I'm sorry, Zoë.
Travis (2016)
Ode to Canada's murderous Ewoks
Canada's a terrifying place. From poutine to ketchup flavored potato chips the country's a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Case in point, the basement-dwelling gas station attendants who lure unsuspecting road-trippers into taking quasi-legal border crossing routes in hopes of getting them accosted by..... Oh, wait. That guy was American. Whatever. Stay out of Canada, man.
Because Bigfoots.
Bigfeet?
Sasquatches. Sasquatchi? C'mon, you know what I mean! Canada kills.
Yes, this is a low budget movie. The acting is sub-par, the story requires a healthy dose of Suspension of Disbelief and/or plain ol' Just Roll With It, and the "special effects" consist of carpet suits and Karo syrup, but this one's got something special.
Admittedly, I was thoroughly irritated with the leading man right from the start. "To all that's holy in Canada, please let Bigfoot eat him first," I prayed. But he grows on ya. I suspect he may have Micheal Ironside Disease. It only works if he's a bad guy? In any case, just suck it up and pretend he's Rutger Hauer or something.
I'm not going to lie. The majority of this film is laughable. They spend 15 minutes before the credits roll setting up stuff that the rest of the film barely acknowledges. I mean, it tries. But it's like one of the writers' little brothers wanted to play, too, so their Big Bro said "You've got 15 minutes, go for it."
BUT (and that's a big but), don't let the low rating and terrible reviews scare you off. This film (and I still use the term lightly) has the potential to grow beyond itself. I'm legitimately shocked that nobody's referenced the wonderful Psycho shower scene homage. Not to mention the clever, split-screen 911 scene -- just to name a couple highlights. And of course the flip from creature feature to psychological thriller and back!
Yes. Absolutely. This is a terrible movie. You'll probably hate the main character and you'll probably wonder where everyone else went. That being said, though, grab a few beers, sit down with your B-Movie Crüe, and watch it. You won't be sorry.
Crush the Skull (2015)
A low-budget surprise
This was a fun one. The dialog and chemistry among the four main characters was what drew me in. Sure, not all the jokes were winners, but the banter was charming and felt natural for the most part. Plus, the choices made by the Good Guys were often smarter than what you find in the average horror movie (regardless of its budget). They seemed to learn from their mistakes and make reasonable leaps of deduction without my "help" (a.k.a. yelling at the screen, "Why?! Why would you DO that??").
I was disappointed with the antagonist side of the coin, though. I get that there was a psychopath vibe being aimed at, but psychopath doesn't mean zombie. Showing no emotion and practically shuffling through every scene seemed more Heavily Sedated than Crazy Person to me.
What really surprised me were the production values. Even in the dark basement shots the lighting was well done and the audio was consistently good in both interior and exterior scenes. So often it seems like sound quality in particular gets thrown out the window when the budget is tiny. Kudos sound folks!
Overall, I'd say it's a comedy/horror film rather than a horror/comedy, but I was entertained. And, most of the time, that's exactly what I'm looking for.