koatprdns Reviews

Fatherhood (I) (2021)

Wow! Kevin Hart stole my heart, lol!

[10/10 · 9 September 2023]

Wow! Kevin Hart stole my heart, lol!

Kevin Hart is brilliant and deserves top marks for this heartfelt performance, so different from his regular choices.

A meaningful look at what single fatherhood looks like, and all the human self doubt, trying to do the best you can for another soul who's your responsibility to raise. Excellent writing, recognising how smart and intelligent and emotionally deep children are. And a probing look at children who clearly and confidently express their desires, about their body and clothing and how pedantic grown ups can be about the least important things.

Satisfying to watch, in an age of relentless, repetitive fictional dramas, and with documentaries about humankind and our recent history which is usually more shocking and insightful.

I cried out laughing when the clown freaked home out so bad Matt decked the poor person! Engaging, thoughtful and worth the money spent on it.

The Pez Outlaw (2022)

There's more to uncover

[7/10 · 9 August 2023]

I am very surprised that not only did investigators not investigate Johan (the man with the magic attic in the garden) but seem to not even notice (much less ask!) about the row of XXXL Pez standing in a row on the cupboard unit on his right (and 2 potential other Pez oddities next to them!)

I mean, there's clearly more of a story here, and the guy even laughs at Netflix for pursuing Steve's story when he clearly has something interesting to say. Or considers himself the more interesting subject, anyway. I feel like he was hinting at a greater story about designs and inventions for Pez the original company. Too bad, as the documentary was interesting but ultimately went nowhere.

Good fun and good memories!

Venom (2018)

Tom Hardy v Ryan Reynolds?

[8/10 · 6 August 2023]

Tom Hardy can act, and as the voice of Venom he clearly has comedic talent. But honestly, the moment I heard he was supposed to be some twiggy "loser" it broke the spell for me a bit.

It's hardly fair on Tom, this is a bit like punching down for him; he's already shown us he is capable of grime, gore and grizzle. I feel like success of the film was inverse to his ability to play a "loser" well...again, not that he acted poorly, but because he does the big, mean Venom-type character more naturally, and the story needs a real dumbass.

That why Ryan Reynolds comes to mind and probably, because of Deadpool, he's not an option for the Marvel anti-hero. But Ryan can really set a tone for the "loser" Eddie, because he does it in almost every other movie :)

Anyway, the humour was great, some awesome action scenes and I definitely want more.

The Last Hours of Mario Biondo (2023)

Body voids after hanging

[4 August 2023]

I cannot begin to imagine what Santina and Pippo must be feeling, to be so blatantly ignored while they've not even had a chance to grieve for their son yet, with the battle they've had for truth. What parent wants to see their children die? And if they were such a close family how is it that nothing the family is saying gets any value, any credit, whatsoever?

So, to have the whole world's attention (judgement?!!) on you instead of your dead son, in a scene that shows clear evidence of foul play and just be talked over as though you're mute, deaf and dumb, must be driving them both utterly insane.

A hanging almost always results in the body voiding itself. There would have been urine, fecal matter and if erotic game play some ejaculate and perhaps even sperm (even if dead). But if you're already dead when you're hung...well, there's a higher chance of such a clean crime scene. How can the Spanish get away without investigating this unusual LACK of evidence?

The fact that they had to get urine via syringe is almost a joke! How is collecting urine during autopsy any different or able "to contaminate"? And a medical examiner saying that there'd be no evidence of such a small puncture especially after death- that is preposterous. It would be MORE obvious because of the lack of blood flow. This does not bode well for high intelligence and throws even more doubt on the Spanish investigation.

If you Google "Raquel Sanchez Silva Pornhub" there is one result that's been deleted from Google search results at the request of an OnlyFans account. Why? What on Earth would the one do with the other? And why is this not pursued?

All in all, it's enough to just want to scream and pull my hair out and it's not even about me. But I thoroughly respect and support their fight - who would fight for you if you and your parents were in their shoes and someone had murdered you?

Like so many, many, many cases is our "democratic and judicial legal system" just bunch of hocus pocus, corruption and deflection and betrayal.

Witness Number 3 (2022)

Classic British Grim Nonsense

[4/10 · 30 July 2023]

Boring, predictable, flat, and insulting to all involved. Watch for cheap thrills and thoughtless plot.

Like so many UK productions the look and feel is dire, grim, and stupid...a true reflection of the country and its leaders, and the prospects of its people. So to watch it as entertainment is hardly enticing and in a lot of ways so very embarrassing.

Yes we want to be numbed sometimes, but not all the time. I've seen amazing stuff on low-budgets; this isn't among them.

Is this the best writing and directing out there? Doubtful. We, the masses have accepted rubbish and continue to promote rubbish, watch rubbish, such that the entertainment execs see fit to spunk cashbombs telling us what is "good enough", to keep us dumbed down- mindless, couch-locked, unmotivated, stressed out and deflated.

A simple read-through and consideration of the script would have any good director raising questions (and eyebrows) and good talent is wasted and undermined by such bad choices. So glad I'm not paying to watch these things, and will refuse to pay for any streaming until the industry starting putting money to better use.

The Disappearance of Madeleine McCann (2019)

Close to 20 years soon...

[6/10 · 26 April 2023]

It's important to remember that.

If the parents did, they'd have at least supplied a better photo-simulation of Madeleine as she was in fact, 15* years old. Instead, they deny Netflix the interview entirely?

By making the denial to comment, they have effectively undermined potential flood of cash by big and deep pockets for a fresh search and rally call.

Without them, Netflix is forced to only rehash.

But it's 2023. Already 15 years, nearly 2 decades have passed since Madeleines was taken. Another 4 years since Netflix made this. The parents and their generation are possibly entering their late fifties, if not sixties. Imagine how MANY are hearing the full story for the first time?

*And what of the photo in that closing frame?

1. At no clear point do they say exactly what Madeleine's age is when she is taken-had she just turned 3? She looked small enough.

2. Yet, the Spanish investigator- in the closing interview-says Madeleine is 4.

In a 2019 documentary about a 2007 event, this thought is merely one of many illogical statements made.

3. What age is Madeleine meant to be in the final photo? The timeline says 11 years missing. At the series premier it's closer to 12.

4. If what the investigator says holds weight, is Madeleine going on 14 or 15? Or even 16! That's quite a difference, considering the changes the body makes.

5. In 2019, Madeleine might be as old as 18. And in 2023 she's 19 if not 20. Why not think ahead to this?

I'm looking at the final photo and sadly smh at myself for trying to memorise her face in case she is still out there, which I've now worked out is pointless, since she is a teen then but an adult now.

Netflix making a meal out of it only to remind us of the details? It's not their prerogative to be investigators. That's for Summers and Swan to do; and they clearly didn't. If they have time to be on camera then they haven't applied themselves at all.

Sadly-considering how much time has lapsed without another squeak from the McCanns-makes me think they gave up hope already before this documentary was made. Hence they declined.

I do wonder if Madeleine is alive and what she must be going through. I think we should be constantly reminded of how rubbish the system is allowed to be. We could change things if we wanted. I think a limit of one paedophile story a month is an embarrassment to us and those "decision" makers.

The X-Files: Dreamland II (1998) Season 6, Episode 5

Take the tour!

[10/10 · 16 March 2023]

Mulder has a kitchen! With actual kitchen appliances!

And does in fact, have a bedroom. Albeit full of porn, no surprise (and x-files no doubt) !!

As per my review of 4.19, Dana Scully's writers are all over the place. Scully's attitude is still palpable and her given reasons appalling though the audience might assume she's covering up her true feelings or only subconsciously aware of and angry about the status quo.

But when she is so dim not to notice very obvious clues - especially for a scientist - and inexplicably rigid despite verbally and actively adjusting her own opinions previously, it just grates.

It means the script is undeveloped and the potential unrealised. For a fan this is very painful. Cue eye roll.

The X-Files: Folie a Deux (1998) Season 5, Episode 19

It's good, right?

[5/10 · 15 March 2023]

As a one off, maybe. But in the timeline and progression, the episode is actually uninspired and the script undeveloped.

Why doesn't Mulder actively figure it out like he always does? The word insect should have immediately set off some deductions like effects of light on "visibility". When Mulder has the opportunity to convince Skinner, he instead pouts like child, doesn't even try to coerce.

Far too much filler footage and very little story satisfaction from dependably strong writers and scrappy characters. But no.

Surprise surprise, insects escape. And the 2 super agents don't even have a debate and conjecture any hypothesis of what this creature is, or even bother to continue tracking it despite plenty of evidence and motivation to do so. WTF? There's unsolved and then there's just dropped. Again, atypical, and for the audience, straight up annoying.

Scully is aggravatingly and incredulously hostile and rigid. After everything they have been through and having literally swapped positions on more than one occasion recently, this is a great cause of concern.

After much character development, this is such a backward turn, it hints towards a plot point that hasn't been shared. Or a seriously misguided writer that went unnoticed. Whilst fascinating, this episode is the worst in an accumulating frustration and dislike of Scully's authors as they keep trying to return black and white what's more interesting when grey.

Wish I could go back in time and slap them upside the head. They can do better.

The Secret (2016)

Disappointing that

[6/10 · 15 January 2023]

Colin is clearly a psychopath, able to mimic emotions, smiling as he coolly admits to double homicide and how he has sorted it with God, yet James Nesbitt plays him with such gusto, it's hard to focus on the plot.

There's no chemistry between Colin and Hazel, not to the effect that Hazel would follow Colin blindly into a double homicide. The fact that she walks away due to the guilt makes her less damned in my opinion, but in this portrayal it's all too predictable, instead of stunning.

The truth is far more twisted than fiction when it is discovered that Colin molested women in his dentist chair; but I wanted to know how many before he even met Hazel. Again overplayed and under-researched, the dramatisation simply becomes less compelling, because frankly the whole thing was already outrageous. What their tale needed was a deeper, grittier look at the two killers and those that surround them most.

If the supporting "cast" to this nightmare were this dense as portrayed, it is a far more intriguing mystery, and has a lot more interesting things to say, about society, religion and the mundanity of would-be killers in our midst.

People often are quick to ask the stereotypical and frankly racist question of the "prevailing danger on the streets of Johannesburg" and I laugh. For the very week I arrived in London, Neo Nazis had caused rioting, Lee Rigby was massacred in the streets and an old lady was beheaded in her garden. Our world is "dumb" and honestly, when shows like Jerry Springer thrive the world over, are any of us really safe?

Sometimes I think creators forget that they are telling a biographical story and owe to themselves and this case, victims, to be almost journalistic in their approach. Especially when so little relief is to be had by the families.

The Secret: Part 1 (2016) Season 1, Episode 1

Chemistry is off...

[7/10 · 15 January 2023]

Colin is clearly a psychopath, able to mimic emotions, yet James Nesbitt plays him with such gusto.

There's no chemistry between Colin and Hazel, not to the effect that Hazel would follow Colin blindly into a double homicide. The fact that she walks away due to the guilt makes her less damned in my opinion, but in this portrayal it's all too predictable, instead of stunning.

The truth is far more twisted than fiction when it is discovered that Colin molested women in his dentist chair; but I wanted to know how many before he even met Hazel, but again overplayed and under-researched, the dramatisation simply becomes less compelling, because frankly the whole thing was already outrageous. What their tale needed was a deeper, grittier look.

If the supporting "cast" to this nightmare were this dense as portrayed, it is far more intriguing, and has a lot more interesting things to say, about society, religion and the mundanity of would-be killers in our midst.

People often are quick to ask the stereotypical and frankly racist question of the "prevailing danger on the streets of Johannesburg" and I laugh. For the very week I arrived in London, Neo Nazis had caused rioting, Lee Rigby was massacred in the streets and an old lady was beheaded in her garden. Our world is "dumb" and honestly, when shows like Jerry Springer thrive the world over, are any of us really safe?

Vikings: Valhalla (2022– )

Fascinated at the "comment war"

[7/10 · 14 January 2023]

On this show, and increasingly on other popular or rather, unpopular programmes. How these big-brain or simply big-mouth opinions try to @ each other despite IMDb not having a reply function (thank god!)

Some folk are desperate for escapism and don't care how it is served. Some want fact not fiction. Others are armchair-directors. Some are in the industry.

But more an more we are increasing our expectations which is sign that society is learning to say no. Soon we'll realise that we are not annoyed at each other but rather at the less-than-satisfactory way our collective money is spent and that we have no say. And hopefully a better way to act on it, not just blow hot air.

Back to the topic at hand-with a little bit of perspective-the listing will reveal no promise of accuracy, suggesting itself biographical or even documented! It uses real names and perhaps an event or two, but anyone who can see that it's not factual will also hopefully recognise the futility of being emotional @ an app and strangers in the "dark".

To stimulate the brain, learn facts, and generally seek to be informed, not to be entertained, there is a multitude of knowledge to be had outside of this program - even "wokeness" can be explored as more tools and services become available to wash the whiteness of our history to reveal the true feet on the ground, our ancestors. The other "strangers" in the "dark".

To share opinions, debate cinematography and generally provide a portfolio of work than outshines this program, there are multitudes of opportunities and places to do so, beyond IMDb.

However, watching this show will offer no fact, or reality, or reward. It is an adventure set in a period of time beyond our memory, imagined via some small documentation and probably 500% more creativity. It is fair to middling in audience value. It is a corporate work of art, which means it is monetised and administrated to death, before it is born. And is served as premium entertainment because so very many will still watch it, pay to stream it, and continue to give it "airtime" on social media and in corporate self-congratulations like awards etc.

If we want a world where shows like Jerry Springer no longer have an audience, we should be educating children much more widely and deeply and exploring how to elevate the communal brain and spirit, not preparing them as rats for years of racing mazes and being big-mouths, or little else.

365 Days (2020)

Giving the BOTD-

[1/10 · 10 January 2023]

The benefit of the doubt-that writers, producers, director and cast genuinely believes in this trilogy and the hours and money they've invested in bringing it together....

A healthy sex life is admirable and high on many a priority list. And there's definitely something to be said about reading good erotica - the power of imagination is far greater than a generalist movie can cover. Bringing it to the screen takes a lot more finesse.

Blanka likens her tale to Beauty and The Beast, and while adults can be childlike and childish, they are not children who are likely to get distracted more by the (literal!) song and dance. Consider your audience, your competition Blanka, and it might make the criticism easier to swallow.

Women around the world today are still fighting positions of subservience, inequality, and are the most sex-trafficked gender. These are no cartoon fantasies.

That said, based on an erotic fantasy and assuming Blanka did want to be taken seriously, it is hard to elevate this trilogy from straight-up porn.

Even increasing "porn for women" websites fall terribly short of the mark, creating little- to no background in a story, using tropes and cliches en masse, and worst of all in their specific case, still focused on male pleasure and boring and repetitive positions found in stock porn.

This trilogy bares pushes that obstacle. Even when the bar is not that high. Sex is so personal and visceral, filmmakers need more realistic plots to entice an audience to suspend their disbelief. Without a good story, sex on screen is just porn. And there's hardly any original porn out there, so now the movie becomes plain boring.

There are millions of excellent erotic stories out there that Netflix could have brought to the screen, so it's also sad that this was the option selected. (Shout out to Kit Rocha and the Beyond Crew)

So, putting aside all the obvious male view and misogyny that needs attention, the cliché ostentatiousness and Laura's porn-trope facial expressions incl permanent fishface, here are just a few key plot points that detracted from a potentially sizzling and truly erotic visual story (50 shades made similar mistakes):

-That prolonged erotic sex can happen without engaging the mind.

-That erotic sex can only happen to rich, dangerous, and possibly psychotic people, possibly addicts.

-Also, only the good looking and physically fit, and those without any emotional intelligence, and who are arrogant, selfish, apathetic.

-How vapid Massimo is: he doesn't have a life, can afford 365 days straight to train a sex slave. Sorry, I mean make someone fall in love with him. Even the mafia have slow days.

-How vapid Laura is: she didn't even get to 61 days before "caving". That she didn't just cave, she "fell in love". And then married the man. Or was it his money? That she took no time to really get to know him or even contemplate what their sex-life and daily-life would look like. And then complained about it. Constantly. Still. While also betraying Massimo.

-That no one cares or knows about Laura missing all that time. Not even her boss? Her parent? Just one very questionable friend?

**sequel** That Laura wants her independence, but is happy to accept a whole company in a random industry for Christmas.

-That whole Christmas scene. Barf.

Sigh...

R.I.P.D. (2013)

To be fair, I am not

[10/10 · 5 January 2023]

A Jeff Bridges fan, when he does this "Wild West" drawl. But if you don't get that Ryan Reynolds movies have several layers and easily speak to the bigger picture, the world view, and your higher self, you can't appreciate the man.

As with RR protocol, everything has meaning. Bridges channels previous role as Rooster Cogburn as Roycephus "Roy" Pulsipher, to parody himself... and while it's annoying at times, the movie more than makes up for it!

Tune in to watch the "Men in Black" of the "Afterlife" meets "Supernatural" using live-action 'cartoonery'.

Or put another way: Two antiheroes join forces to bring home naughty death-resistant souls ...while simultaneously saving the world (big wink, cheesy grin!)

Personally, I prefer RR comedy when he is the good-guy-and-getting-reamed, and less so when he's the naive-guy-getting-schooled, like with the Hitman series, or Red Notice for example. But his comedy is original and genuinely hilarious and works because the person he most ridicules are his own characters, while keeping it relevant to the times and finding humorous ways to school bigotry.

I mean, it's genius.

.

Medieval (2022)

It's an injustice to both

[6/10 · 4 January 2023]

Man and legend, not to give the best version of himself posthumously.

The variety in languages might have been an interesting and clever idea if every other accent was not American.

I would have tried a much richer detail of the magnitude and importance of this moment. We suffer from microscopic thinking and our climate is suffering for it. The man went in after this microsecond of his long and glorious career to remain undefeated having lost both eyes.

What an inspiring tale this can be, if it's message would be just a little sharper and clearer, not interrupted by the last minute rush this feels to be. Sad for the excellent cast and crew.

Glass Onion (2022)

Shortsighted reviews

[10/10 · 2 January 2023]

Take a minute to appreciate the hilarity of the script, the design and cinematography, the excellent acting born of solid direction and you have to laugh at some shallow-minded people who just see "entertainment" and review so callously.

Such characterisation, such layered story-telling, and by one person, it's enough to make you cry how many people can't see the value in something quite excellent; because it's such a smooth and fantastical story, that even the best or even retired actors will play the smallest role or cameo for. If you didn't spot them can you really say you watched this?

So easy to swallow what the "big boys" call "blockbusters" which are such a common-place recipe.

A delight to see a sequel. Cannot wait for the third.

The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022)

Direction and dialogue need work

[7/10 · 1 January 2023]

What a great group of actors- my favourite of course is Meldof.

The birth of the Witcher is a fun tale of magic and the power of the "lowborn people" coming together to achieve greatness against the biggest odds.

Impossible right? As so wisely spoken, if you create enough chaos, people will beg for order.

If nothing but chaos exists though after too long, a system has to right itself, even if it takes a lot of blind faith, it happens almost preternaturally.

It's a shame the writer(s) resorted to sampling other great dialogue instead of thinking more creatively, after all is this not about being original?

The choices in direction lead to overacted mush, some scenes are cringeworthy and sometimes it is great to watch without sound or if necessary sound plus 1.5x speed-thank you Netflix. Then the overacting is at a pace that elevates it to some comedy, and gives the series a interesting perspective that at least engages you.

Having said that, the cast were often a delight. It was fun to see Sophia Brown giving sass and song, I almost believed she was Lashana Lynch! Loved meeting Huw Novelli and his enigmatic eyes that go from lunacy to sincerity with such alacrity. And last but by no means the least: Francesca Mills bringing such feisty and delirious brilliance to Meldof.

I think Minnie Driver does some excellent dead pan humour, not for the first time and I hope to see more of it. And then, the master of comedic timing, Joey Batey, bringing the one we love to hate, the dramatic and poetic Jaskier to life again.

It's a shame Henry is not staying but I absolutely back his play.

I, Frankenstein (2014)

A shame

[6/10 · 5 October 2022]

Could have been good. With such excellent names attached it should have been better. From a director with good credits, every actor in this seems to have been told to overplay their character - for laughs perhaps- but it's already fantasy, and the set is wild...it could have been so easy to let the actors do what they do so well. A trite, derivative storyline, I prayed for a couple of juicy twists or some great vicious epiphany on humanity...nope. Aaron Eckhart plays an excellent antihero though, he adequately making up in presence for what SFX didn't give him for shape or size? Good practise from the dark knight days! Yvonne Strahovski struggles to maintain a strict British RP accent, I honestly thought a "posh Australian" would have been just as good. Epic scene of Yvonnes's hair blowing upwards as the castle implodes around them! Does pose a very good question... how DO you kill an "Adam"?

Marcella (2016–2021)

Big plot holes...

[8/10 · 11 September 2022]

So the premise left with viewers by the show is that Marcello's alter (Kiera) defends/protects/solves albeit in a messy and sometimes destructive manner.

Except that in S2 we find out Jason can not only induce fugue in Marcella but in that one instance we know of, Kiera did nothing but watch Jason take advantage of that. To me, that lent the idea of a more manipulative and sinister reason for the fugues, and should have led to Jason having a hand in Juliet's death. And more reason for a tough, driven woman and devoted mother to get to the bottom of the problem, even if she does still develop multiple identities.

Instead, we watch a strong woman mutilate herself for no good reason, disappear onto the street abandoning her life and children-undermining every facet of the Marcella character built up to that point, even Kiera, who might be a saviour, doesn't get a fugue state or a permanent disassociation to then have a second life, in which S3 can take place but the truth is still pursued.

Rather in S3, the problem is openly used and abused by a fellow officer, under massively suspect and unbelievable circumstances, creating an actual disassociated identity, but which is completely ignored by the storyline except for the over-dramatic responses to reconnect with the previous seasons.

Sloppy story-telling and pointless viewing. Even though well-made so that you are compelled (forced?) to watch everything to simply get the story, it fails to live up to the high bar of potential it set for itself on characters and plot. Was an 8, now dropping off a 6. Poor Marcella-series named for her, but sadly that's as much attention she truly gets.

The Lincoln Lawyer (2022– )

Not as thrilling as Bosch

[8/10 · 18 May 2022]

But intriguing. Let's see how they stack up when they don't have an "unsolvable case" to propel them. It's a less-slick more-humble Suits. I like it. It's refreshing to have more human characters, although it is not enough for many people. And I felt pretty good when Mickey nailed his case, very exciting story-telling.

But remind me to never get a Lincoln if the damn thing sounds like the wheel bearings are permanently in need of replacement!

Chicago Med (2015– )

Great Greys Anatomy ripoff!

[6/10 · 19 January 2022]

It would be fabulous if it didn't repeat many of the same storylines. Well-made though! Great actors, pace could be faster, and imagery is compelling.

Somewhere Between (2017)

Mother and daughter

[4/10 · 21 October 2021]

Are the worst actors, so untruthful and put-on emotionally, it's nauseating. Pointlessly wasting E1, I almost forgot the premise was the daughter was about to return to life. Yay.

Not sure I'll make it through another without 1.5x speed. Thank you Netflix.

Inside Job (2010)

Why not ask those questions...

[5/10 · 15 October 2021]

Of the responsible when given the opportunity? While the film is full of facts and vital exposure, the interviewer attacks the responsible on their CVS and papers written, but not once showing them facts and information, the evidence, and challenge them to prove a theory wrong. WTF? Lost all credibility in my mind.

Kate (I) (2021)

The final scene is great

[6/10 · 14 October 2021]

It's a lot of John Wick with a dash of Matrix and spices of Tarantino, with a cute T and sunglasses. It's very flat. If it's been lifted out of manga, it's lost all nuance.

Cracked Up (2018)

Thank you

[10/10 · 14 October 2021]

For sharing your story. For taking the journey.

You see and know what others cannot, unless they are there in those shoes.

You have won. Know that you are loved.

Thank you 🙏🏼

ReMastered: The Lion's Share (2018 TV Movie)

Pay The Linda Sisters

[10/10 · 12 October 2021]

If Owen Dean was not a professional in that area, why was he responsible for setting up that trust and who must have then advised him? Where was the government's invoice from Owen Dean Assoc. And the reciprocal movements? At the very least, what was the percentage of the settlement that was to be paid?

All these questions need to be asked and answered.

No trust in The Linda Sisters' name can be acted on without their full knowledge of the accounting. Hence not set up correctly and therefore never just. Pay up Disney.