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rtmackenzie
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Dolls (1986)
Creepy + heartwarming - what's not to love?
Spooky more than terrifying, creepy and heartwarming all at once - I assumed this would be some enjoyable 80s schlock - and it is! But with a really enjoyable array of characters - from a suave and gentlemanly dollmaker, his endearing turn-of-the-century-styled wife, a cartoonishly evil stepmother and uncaring dad, an adorable girl with an avid imagination, a big child-at-heart man and two painful caricatures of cockney Madonna wannabes.
With karmic justice served to all and some fantastically creepy stop-motion doll animation, this is a fun starter horror movie for people who aren't sure if they like the genre and are keen to laugh as a bunch of dolls holding a whispered huddle to determine who to kill.
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)
Low key kinda amazing
I went into this movie fully expecting a cheesy 80s supernatural slasher. The slow start and the very stereotypical representation of disability at the beginning seemed to support my supposition. However, with 10min I had been pulled into a tense, intriguing, and enjoyable spooky narrative that handled evil, guilt, and retribution way more compellingly than I thought it would. Stand out performance from Charles Durning, pretty good sound mixing, great cinematography for what it is, and effective character building.
I fully expected to make fun of this movie and instead I think I'm in love.
I think this movie is going into the regular pile!
Cheerleader Camp (1988)
Amazingly impressively bad
Do you want to see terrible cheer routines?
Do you want to see absurdly calm teenagers and adults as people get murdered around them?
Do you want to see hair that contributed to the depletion of the ozone layer?
If so, you're in luck! It's all here in this 98min monstrosity of an 80s D- grade slasher movie.
It's got the gratuitous shots of topless women, sex scenes that act as effective contraception by making sex entirely unappealing, and a cast of entirely unlikeable characters.
If you enjoy slashers for the unexpected melodramatic gore of the deaths well you're kinda out of luck. Plenty of people die but only one death really made me go :O
An enjoyably brainless movie to watch and cringe at, no regrets, and no intention of watching again!
Cocaine Bear (2023)
Brilliantly deranged and enjoyable
This movie isn't anything special, it doesn't pretend to be. What it is is absolutely deranged and hilariously unhinged. I didn't have to think about a single thing whilst watching this except who was this insane bear going to kill next.
Everyone acting in this was obviously having fun and it's always great watching beloved character actor Margo Martindale shine!
The CGI bear was pretty rubbish but it really didn't matter- it's a movie about a coked up bear going on a rampage- what sort of storyline depth or production quality were you expecting?
Just turn it, switch off your brain and enjoy the chaos!
The Silver Screen: Color Me Lavender (1997)
Cringey and Uninformative
I couldn't finish watching this. I feel this documentary really missed the mark. There is a legitimate history of gay coding in old films that they could have drawn upon, instead it seemed to focus more on innuendos made in comedies that in effect are mocking of lgbt without exploring the background.
The narrator was annoying, often in the way of what was being shown, and used slurs without it being an apologetic reference.
Go watch The Celluloid Closet if you actually want to find out more about this subject. That documentary actually engages with lgbt writers, actors and creatives who lived through and worked through these times.
The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
Wonderfully Extra "Horror"
This is one of my favourite Vincent Price movies - only he could pull off such a grandly extra character as Dr Phibes, being all the most wonderful levels of dramatic possible without being ridiculous.
This movie is fun and funny with some horror and ridiculously gruesome deaths thrown in to spice things up. Each character is completely tongue-in-cheek serious, and DI Trout is a fantastic, down-to-earth foil to Dr Phibes' extravagance.
Have a watch, don't take things too seriously, and just have fun!
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Truly Amazingly Terrible- I loved it
Sound score- 0/10
Cinematography- 1/10
Plot and storyline- 2/10
Comedic value - 8/10
Honestly, such a bad movie but it was so bad and incoherent it was good. Not like The Room level quality of good, but I definitely got a few really good laughs Out if it.
Everyone should watch it for the cultural experience.
In the Deep Woods (1992)
Go on- watch it- you won't have to think a thought for 90min
Lots of twists and turns, Anthony Perkins was great, the love interest was the most unappealing love interest, and the brother and sister are Folgers Coffee level of closeness, but it was a nice way to kill a rainy afternoon.
Too Late to Say Goodbye (2009)
Simple but enjoyable
The acting is all sound good, the story line is interesting, the cinematography is pretty bleh and they do the worst job ever of un-aging Rob Lowe for a flashback, but overall yeah I enjoyed it.
Not My Life (2006)
A simple, enjoyable, thriller
Yes, there are some plot holes in the story, and the main actors look like the Wish versions of Claire Danes and Patrick Wilson, but overall I found the movie pretty darn enjoyable, and most of the acting was decent.
Put it on if you want to watch something that will let your brain switch off.
The Rendering (2002)
Truly mediocre
The premise could have been interesting but oof- this movie had so many issues.
From the knock off Hannibal Lecter-esque bad guy, to Shannon Doughertys wooden acting, and a married couple with perhaps the least amount of chemistry I've seen since watching The Room, this movie is the epitome of mediocrity.
Forget and Forgive (2014)
Easy to watch, quite enjoyable
For what it is- obviously a TV movie- it's pretty decent. Good pacing, interesting, simple story. Kinda good movie to chuck on when you want something that's not too complicated.
Return to Oz (1985)
Nightmare fuel for all ages
For some reason my younger sister loved this movie when we were kids so we watched it more times than anyone really should.
I'm not even sure how to describe this movie beyond it being a bad trip for kids.
It starts grim, then becomes bleak, then becomes magically farcical, all whilst maintaining a general feeling of eeriness and unease.
Would recommend watching for the experience.
The Riverbank (2012)
Meh
Certainly not the worst movie I've ever seen, and I believe I even gasped at one point, but the climax of the movie and the reveal were rather meh. Considering the script and pacing they had to work with I thought the actors themselves did a decent job.