dannyreyntiens Reviews

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Oh boy this is bad

[1/10 · 18 February 2022]

I love the franchise. This makes the 2005 House of wax look like a masterpiece which it really reminded me of but for the wrong reasons. This isn't leatherface but it looks like a rip-off. The character is totally missing here. This really looks like a asylum rip-off. Who ever gave this over 5 stars must hate Leatherface.

Till Death (I) (2021)

What am I missing?

[1/10 · 23 October 2021]

Apart from the dire revenge, it's one question throughout the film... "Why didn't she do this?" it's with everything decision she makes. I had to switch it off. It's too idiotic of a film. How do these scripts get made?

Hostage Radio (II) (2019)

it thinks it's smarter than it is.

[4/10 · 29 August 2021]

As brilliant as Eddie Marsan is, the film thinks way too hard that it's clever. A decent and interesting start turns into a story you have seen before multiple times and much much better. Marsan couldn't safe it.

Bone Breaker (2020)

Keep watching for the mistakes

[1/10 · 9 August 2021]

This Richard Connell rip-off of "The most dangerous game" is crinworthy yet hilarious. There is so much wrong with this film that you stop focusing on the story but start concentrating on the mistakes that even the simplest of amateur crew wouldn't make.

Blood Red Sky (2021)

Netflix, watch some old films to see how a good script is written

[4/10 · 30 July 2021]

I won't write any spoilers because this film is a mixture of many films and stories.

Here we have a film, which you easily can watch on Prime. The only difference is that this film has a budget and that many of the low/no budget films on Amazon Prime are much better. We have stereotypes galore in this one. A plane that doesn't seem to have an end nor bottom and nobody hears anything unless it suits the story. Which sums up the entire script. Bullets are being shot left right and centre and it does not harm the plane, until it's needed in the story. This film could have ended around 1.15 but I was amazed when I looked and it still was 45 minutes. It could have ended several times after, yet it kept going and going and repeating and repeating and growling and shouting and occasionally the extras playing the other people on the plane had to do something to show us, they were still there. If you, as a writer aren't imaginative enough, don't put your story on a plane. The flashbacks to explain the story, aren't working either.

Netflix... Please read the script before you decide to produce a film. Some people on your membership, actually are interested in film making. This is a film in, how not to make a film. As are many of your productions.

I'm being generous with the 4 stars.

Don't Speak (2020)

Hey writer. What's wrong with you

[2/10 · 23 June 2021]

The only positive that I can say is that the creature isn't half bad. The rest on the other hand makes bad sound like brilliance. Every character is making the worst decisions. The writing is just diabolical with a dialogue to match. The actors have a look on their faces as if they were thinking "what the hell am I doing here." it's very pretentious.

Vamp U (2011)

I've seen worse with more stars.

[5/10 · 4 June 2021]

I don't think it was made to get awards. And you shouldn't go into it, thinking it did.

Everyone, especially Gary Cole, seem to be having a great time and it transfers over to the viewer. Well for me it did. I enjoyed watching it and was more entertained by this film than I do with most modern comedies. The only problem that I can see is that it doesn't know whether it want's to be a vampire spoof or just a vampire comedy or a teen vampire comedy.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Been there, done that...

[3/10 · 22 May 2021]

I love living dead/zombie films, but when a company like Asylum, who is famous for ripping off blockbusters, delivers more originality, better acting and better script in their films than the clearly well financed Netflix vehicle, then you wonder where all the money went.

Let see....

A CGI tiger that contributes nothing to the story and isn't a compliment to Siegried and Roy at all. Don't they know what happened back in 2003 and Siefried passed away ?

Cover songs like bad moon rising are being used, a song usually associated with werewolves and since this story takes place during the day, it was rather pointless,

Yes, the living dead make-up was actually very good. I'm sure, it must have cost a lot of money to make Las Vegas to look like that, although they could have filmed it around my corner in London which looks exactly like its set and many people around here could have been perfect for extras. The story is simple , it has been written very simple and delivered with simplicity. The problem is that the story has been done so many times and so, so much better, more developed with far better side stories, which, in this film if there are any, aren't really original either. Throw in a masked horse (is it supposed to be a zombie horse?) and the holes appear bigger than they are.

Acting and characteristics are non-existing. Jokes fall flat . And did I miss something or hasn't there been no explanation why there are dumb zombies and intelligent zombies? Or why the smart ones can go outside, while the dumb ones sleep in the dark? The more I write, the more questions start occurring . And last but not least... what's up with casting Tig Notaro? I know she was cast after the other actor was cut, and she is great and all, but couldn't they have found someone else more suitable instead of making her look like Murdoch from the A-Team?

So, do yourself a favour. Skip this film and put on a low budget zombie film, you will have more fun even if it is for the wrong reasons. This is definitely not a so bad it's good film. Just a very expensive looking bad film.

Beneath (I) (2013)

Go back where you came from

[1/10 · 1 April 2021]

A bunch of youngsters are terrorised by a giant water fish while their boat is leaking. They are trying to get to the other side of the lake, while their boat has barely left the shore. All they do is trying to get to the other side while the shore they left is close.