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Reviews
Under Lock and Key (1995)
One awesome experience.
First, it's hilarious. The comedy has to be intended as it's way too over the top funny. Barbara Niven and Wendi Westbrook's interaction when they are on the run is just way too funny. I bet the dorky FBI boss guy loved the conjugal visit scene. Barbra Niven has a great comedic flair.
Then, the evil drug dealer is a top fashion designer on the side? Sai Tyler is a high class fashion model and spy, too? Tyler Leigh as Slash is so deliciously evil as the butchy bad henchwoman is way too great, especially she's trying to talk sense into Barbara Niven at the holdup.
Lastly, wow!!!!!, hot babes as it should be in women in prison movies. Too bad Stephanie Ann Smith exits wayyyyy too early, what a bod! Nice views of the sexy Wendi Westbrook and Sai Tyler, who has some of the prettiest eyes seen.
All in all, it's great entertainment if you aren't some sissy who gets all high and mighty. Be a guy and enjoy movies for guys.
The Expendables 2 (2012)
Fine for a matinée I guess....
The good....Jason Statham. I like anything he does.
The rest....This is not a bad movie. I knew what to expect, I got it.
I think Charisma Carpenter even at 42 years of age is amazingly hot. Why does she get only about 1 minute if that camera time? Why even have her in it? She was wasted yet again. At least have her in some lingerie or why not even have her in some sexy outfit going on a mission? This is the biggest fault of the movie. More Charisma next time!!!
Sorry, but except for Statham and Willis, these guys have dramatically aged. They look really old and tired, just going through the motions. Expendables 3 might be about some terrorists invading their nursing home I'd imagine. I loved all these guys in their prime, but c'mon, it's getting silly, grandpa.
VanDamme is a good bad guy. He looks old, too.
The best thing is injecting the Chinese girl in this movie. She doesn't really add anything except just a fresh character, but it helped a bit.
If you know the drill and just want some boom boom fun, it's decent. If you don't, why would you bother except to gripe to try to make yourself look superior to the masses?
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
Garbage..admit it.
C'mon, quit trying to appear clever and hip. Nobody is watching....just admit it, you don't have a clue what this movie is about. We just want to see the girls nekkid and making out. We can't let people know we are pervs, so we act like this movie is so clever and blah blah blah.
Lynch is a hack. He's clever, but he knows he can't write a coherent plot if his life depended on it. He just throws a bunch of red herrings and garbage in his movies that seem funny to him.
Nerds try to say he "let's you draw your own conclusions." Baloney. The only conclusion is this film means nothing except that Harring and Watts are hot and it's fun to see them making out.
Deathline (1997)
Very good film
Give me a break. If you watch this and are griping then you are the dummy for watching it. You know in 5 minutes what this movie is about and it mainly delivers.
Here is why you should watch and love this movie: Yvonne Scio. This babe is totally, and I mean T TOTALLY!!!!!, babeulicious hot. She has this gorgeous curly hair, but kissable lips, and a rocking hot body.
Plus, there are other nekkid women in here, too. Still, the hot hot hot Ms. Scio is the best reason and yes she is nekkid quite a bit.
The one and only gripe I have is Ms. Scio's role seems to change about 3 times in the movie. I wish someone could explain that. But, hey!, if David Lynch can do it and be hailed a genius, why not this movie? If you want to be nerdy Roger Ebert wannabe and hate on this, why aren't you watching Oprah or some Julia Roberts chick flick? Be a real man, grab some sweet tea and snacks, and sit back and enjoy Ms. Scio, who will make you feel much better about being a man.