pausher Reviews

Fall of Eagles (1974)

Back at last

[10/10 · 14 October 2006]

I haven't seen "Fall of the Eagles" since it was first broadcast in the 1970's. I remember watching the first episode, which I believe featured Curt Jurgens playing Otto von Bismarck. It totally hooked me for the subsequent 12 episodes. I vividly remember Jurgens bellowing "I am Bismarck!!!!" when "The Iron Chancellor" is suddenly put out to pasture.

Another standout is Gayle Hunnicutt as the Tsarina Alexandra. I can still see her fiercely admonishing the clueless and lethargic Nicholas (Charles Kay) to, "Be Ivan the Terrible!!!! Be Peter the Great!!!" It's a real shame this beautiful and talented actress hasn't had a more prominent career.

About 5 years ago, I tried searching for a copy of the program. There was nothing anywhere. I even sent an email to the BBC. I received a very polite response from a BBC researcher who advised me that she was able to locate some documentation related to the program, but had no information about availability either for broadcast or home video. At that point, I sadly concluded that it was lost forever.

Well, I'm happy to discover that other enthusiasts had more perseverance than I did. I just ordered the set from Amazon, and can't wait to watch it once more.

Battle of the Bulge (1965)

Skip it and see "Battleground" instead

[16 July 2005]

Unquestionably the worst "major" war picture ever made. At least until "Pearl Harbor". It's so bad, that there are actually things I like about it. Most of all, Robert Shaw. I get the sense that early on he realized this was a turkey in the making, and decided to have fun portraying his character as a ridiculous caricature of the evil Nazi SS commander. My favorite scene is when he's admonishing his aide to join the young panzer leaders singing their Nazi fight song. Also, the scene where he's ruminating on the significance of a chocolate cake shipped from Boston. These scenes and his cheesy German accent just put me in stitches. I sure miss that crazy SOB.

The script bears scant resemblance to the actual historical events. And neither does the landscape. It starts off looking like the Ardennes, but ends up looking like a desert. It must have been mostly shot in a place like Spain, because you can see the pathetic attempts to make the backgrounds snowy while the actors look like they're sweating in their cold weather gear. I got the impression that toward the end they were over budget, running out of patience, and just trying to finish the damn thing as quickly and cheaply as possible.

A mess. See "Battleground". The definitive Hollywood version of the Battle of the Bulge.

Impulse (1974)

The Absolute Best Terrible Movie Ever Made

[16 July 2005]

I recently attended "Shatfest" hosted by Oakland, CA's Parkway Theater (http://www.picturepubpizza.com/), an annual tribute to William Shatner. It was a freeking riot. The Parkway is set up like a lounge with couches and tables instead of the usual theater setup. They have a kitchen with a full menu, and serve beer and wine. Anyway, while we were waiting for our food to be served, they showed a black-and-white episode of "The Man from UNCLE" that featured both Shatner and Leonard Nimoy a year before they did "Star Trek". Next, they silently ran a segment of a Star Trek episode while belly dancers danced on the stage in front of the screen. The segment they chose featured an "alien" gal dancing in front to Kirk and Mr. Spock, and it blended perfectly with the live show. Surreal!!! Next they had a Shatner trivia quiz awarding prizes that included a picture of Captain Kirk signed by Shatner. This was followed by a video of Shatner performing Elton John's "Rocket Man", a level of "rank" seldom achieved by mere mortals. But the piece-de-resistance was the screening of "Impulse". Now I pride myself as being an aficionado of horrible, rank films, so I can confidently report that this is the BEST horrible, terrible, rank movie I've ever experienced. "Robot Monsters", "CC and Company", "Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell" are A-Card movies compared to this one. The Shatner ham has never glistened and dripped like this before or since. Adding to the fun is Harold Sakata ("Odd Job" from "Goldfinger") playing an itinerant karate instructor looking for a big score. The entire audience was in continuous hysterics for an hour and a half. Actually, that's not true. A gal at my table who'd immigrated from China five years ago took the movie literally, and was totally bewildered by the reaction of the audience. I tried to explain it to her, but.......how can you explain nonsense like this? Which of course added to the fun. Anyway, a memorable movie!!