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Reviews
Blackwater Valley Exorcism (2006)
The Director Needs to Do His Homework
While this movie did have a few scary moments (great use of music and film angles to build suspense), it's obvious director Ethan Wiley and scriptwriter Ellary Eddy didn't waste any time researching their subject matter; which also makes me question their claim that the exorcism scenes were overseen by a genuine Catholic bishop.
Amongst the many inconsistencies:
* Jacob the Roman Catholic priest, when we first meet him outside the church, is wearing an academic robe over his clericals rather than the typical alb, chasuble or surplice. Academic robes are commonly worn by Protestant ministers in liturgical denominations, not Roman Catholic priests.
* Jacob the priest quotes some obscure and disturbing scripture about the angels taking up weapons. He attributes it to St. Paul. This verse is not from St. Paul's writings, neither is it in the Bible. I can't even find it in the Gnostic scriptures.
* Jacob tells his bishop he doesn't believe in demon possession and turns down the request to study exorcism but does a complete 180 (later that same day?) within minutes of talking to possessed Isabelle. Sure, it's possible; but a little unrealistic. See Father Damien as a priest/psychologist in the original THE EXORCIST for a bit more realistic portrayal of a skeptic-turned-believer.
* Miguel, the former priest turned farmhand, is the first to try an exorcism on Isabelle. He quotes scripture, and she quotes back. He says "I see you know Psalm 65" - she corrects him "that's Psalm 67" - they're both wrong.
* Miguel, the former priest who just got done performing an exorcism - making the sign of the cross, calling on the name of Christ, applying holy water, etc. - tells Jacob he doesn't believe in church and he doesn't believe in God. (Maybe he's just conflicted?) Jacob enlists him to put on home-made vestments and have another go at it anyway.
* Miguel, the former ROMAN CATHOLIC priest, crosses himself backwards (or Eastern Orthodox-style). As an Hispanic Roman Catholic who USED to be a priest, he should've crossed himself forehead to sternum, left-side to right side of chest.
I had to read into the little side stories to get the notion Satan was messing with the whole family, not just Isabelle; but even in the end it was hard to say for sure if anyone was really guilty of the images in their heads or if it was all demonic trickery (except for the sheriff - it's pretty clear he was guilty).
On the positive side: Isabelle was CREEPY - in my opinion she was the best part of the whole movie and I liked the plot twist with Claire.
I'm just not sure if the movie was meant to be serious or a spoof.
Listening to the running commentary with Cameron Daddo and Ethan Wiley, I'm inclined to believe it was a joke.
Freakshow (2007)
Sometimes the Story Gets WORSE in the Re-telling
The by-line on top of the DVD claims "In the Tradition of Tod Browning's FREAKS" A better phrase might've been "A Re-Imagining of Tod Browning's FREAKS" since it pretty much tells the same story with a few minor character changes The talented, genuine freaks gave this film a sense of credibility and the ending was a little more believable than Tod Browning's classic, but overall I can only give it 6 out of 10 stars; my biggest complaint (besides the bad acting) being the historical anachronisms. After putting the effort into a believable pre-WWII wardrobe and soundtrack they mucked-it up with contemporary dialog. There's always room for dramatic license but in this film it comes off as screenwriter/director laziness.
Bottom line: unless you've got a free rental coming to you, I recommend you stick with Tod Browning's original.
Raven Gets a Life (2006)
A Loving Tribute to Classic Horror
Young Amber Burke-McDonald does a very believable job of portraying Raven - a 150-year-old vampire trapped in the body of a 12-year-old in this atmospheric, loving tribute to the classic vampire genre.
Anyone familiar with Tod Browing's 1931 Dracula starring Bela Lugosi will surely be as endeared to this film as I was. With it's feel-good ending and a zinger of a moral, this film is guaranteed to leave the viewer with warm fuzzies - blood-warm fuzzies, that is.
10 stars for the movie concept. Another 10 stars for the acting and finally 10 more stars for the creative and innovative soundtrack.
Kudos to you, Devi Snively. Very well-done! Leaves me hungry for more. Hopefully a sequel is in the works?
American Scary (2006)
Inspiration to a New Generation
Many, many years later my childhood memories of Milwaukee horror movie hosts Dr. Cadaverino, Shirley the tarantula and Tolous NoNeck often rivals my memory of the movies themselves.
Though none of my childhood horror hosts were included in John Hudgens shockumentary (no surprise considering the hundreds of hours of footage squeezed into this precious 90-minute film), American Scary still brought back a cavalcade of warm memories from my childhood in Milwaukee to watching Son of Svengoolie with my wife and my own children in Chicago.
All-in-all, American Scary is a very entertaining and inspiring look at a uniquely American phenomenon: the late-night horror movie hosted by the big kid who never grew up and seems to have forgotten that Halloween only comes but once a year. The inspiration of my local horror hosts has never left me and apparently neither has it left all the others who, inspired by their own local childhood horror hosts, continue to host those same low-budget, z-grade sci-fi and horror movies on cable access TV and on the web; carrying the torch to a new generation.
The Brothers Grimm (2005)
Overall an Enjoyable Fairy Tale
The Brothers Grimm seeks to give us the "real story" behind the classic Grimm's Fairy Tales such as Hansel & Gretel, Jack and the Beanstalk, Little Red Riding Hood and Rapunzel without compromising the mystical or enchanted aspects in each of those stories.
Just like the fairy tales represented in the storyline, to truly enjoy this film requires a temporary suspension of disbelief; but in the end what makes this a satisfying experience is that, along with the characters in the story, we enter into this tale as skeptics and walk out the other side as believers.
This movie was filmed in true Terry Gilliam fashion and features the kind of fantastic creatures and special effects we have already seen in Time Bandits and Baron Munchausen. The PG-13 rating has little to do with strong language or sexual content (both noticeably lacking) but some of the special effects scenes may be too scary for young children.