Miora Reviews

The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

Watch it for the fluff

[6/10 · 24 December 2021]

If you hate fluff and always want a great plot, move along.

If you want easy eye candy with some medieval re-enactment flavoring, you are in for a treat.

Yes, the script skips over every logic that stands in the way.

But it's no complete suspension of disbelief. Just for some inconvenient non-fluffy realities.

Which is still better than most fairy tales to be honest.

The part I really loved was where the medieval parts where really well dressed up! The eye candy is quality! Love the costumes. Nothing plastic or rushed about that part.

If you want fluff, this cotton candy in a medieval shape.

Cotton candy is just sugar with a lot of air.

But it's the texture, shape and colors that make it enjoyable.

The Witches (2020)

A different story from the original

[8/10 · 31 October 2021]

I expected nothing but a bad remake, but was pleasantly surprised... This movie takes the gist of the original story, changes the setting and then adds in fitting details and that shows.

The story starts properly with the main character going through the trauma of losing his parents and bonding with his grandma and then learning about witches when the danger becomes real.

This is a very natural way to start the story.

The story then follows it's natural course of characters who have bonded...or not and uses the CGI of this time to show the witches in ways that was previously much harder to do.

I didn't feel like the CGI was overdone compared to the original story. It was fitting with the story that was told in this film.

The ending is not the sugary "back to status quo" as the former film but instead aims for the factor of hope which the book version avoided.

The Dead Don't Die (2019)

Watch it for the fluff

[5/10 · 28 November 2019]

It started out okay. The star cast was nice and a lot of dry humor. It was quite clear from how every scene was set up that people were having a good time making this movie.

However, it got silly in the end, the story was rushed and all plot lines, except for the chicken, were kept hanging. Still a better story than the last season of GoT.

Holidays (2016)

Good acting and nice flow and then...leaves you hanging

[4/10 · 2 December 2018]

Each of the stories were good in drawing the viewer in. The atmosphere was good and the stories seemed to build up to something interesting.... But only a few stories actually had an ending. The majority just cut off before the resolution. Leaving me with an annoyed feeling of not actually getting a story, only a mere intro that led absolutely nowhere. This is what an anthology looks like when you have no writers. It\ s all visuals but no substance.

They Live (1988)

Disappointed.

[5/10 · 24 April 2016]

The scene where Nada tries out the sunglasses is really the best part and actually the only good part of this movie. All the rest of it in front and in the back is just a very badly made story full of gaping plot holes and a very unoriginal message, even for that time. I had expectations of at least an amusing movie form people saying that this movie was so clever and deep. But the story felt like a severe insult to my intelligence. The main character is a total Gary Sue. He is the only one to spot out the obvious things that are supposed to be hidden from every one else and he is everywhere at the exact right time for important things to happen and everybody just knows how important he is the moment they see him. Also there is a quite pointless and unsympathetic fight scene that lasted for half an hour with the "very deep and educational" message that you are allowed to bully people to make them see things your way.

Primer (2004)

A good movie that was edited to boredom

[2/10 · 10 April 2016]

I like the story. There were several unexpected developments and parts that were handled quite cleverly. I like how well the low budget was handled. I also like making movies and have used artsy tricks to cover up the use of a bad camera or plainly bad shots. It you are creative, that can add to the sphere. The editor did this right. But.....the big huge enormous error in this movie was not using the cutting tool nearly enough! The parts where nothing relevant happens are so long that it is really hard to keep paying attention. I think that if all the non relevant parts of the movie were cut that it could have been a very good short movie. Too bad that they opted to make it a snore fest by burying the quality in the quantity.

Donnie Darko (2001)

Great movie if think school doesn't already give enough homework.

[4/10 · 23 August 2015]

People were not kidding when they said you have to watch this movie twice to enjoy it. But that means that the movie is no fun watching the first time, because you need to memorize stuff that does not make sense at first. To me, this is like doing homework. I do not enjoy doing homework. Also, if I have to sit through a movie without enjoying it, then what is the fun in that? To be able to brag when I finally get the movie? The parts that didn't need memorizing were packed with jokes and philosophies that I already heard and saw many times before. Which doesn't motivate me either to watch this movie for another time. Especially since the spoilers told me that I would have been wasting my time anyway because the moral of the movie is quite bland and overdone. If I want to spend the time of 2 movies watching movies, then I'd rather pick 2 separate movies that are actually fun watching the first time. If a movie can not get it's point across the first time being watched, then it's badly written and the emperor wears no clothes.

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - Rainbow Rocks Animated (2014)

Better than expected

[7/10 · 19 October 2014]

After seeing Equestria Girls I had no desire to see another humanized ponies movie. But the teasers actually made me curious. Because there is actually more a theme present in this movie. The theme, music, is very well up to MLP; FiM standards as we know this song for having music that is better than most series. The music is a bit different from the series in exploring more pop genres. Aaaand, we now have a set of villains that are way more interesting than we had in Equestria Girls. The villains actually have separate characters and a history that old school bronies will find interesting. The story was also more interesting and riddled with Easter eggs. The end battle runs circles around the end battle of the former movie. Finally no simple deus ex machina. Do not see this movie expecting the level of the series, because of course these characters and story telling and cartoon style still works way better with ponies than with these doll like humans. Expecting ponies will be quite disappointing. They should have used ponies, they didn't. Tough break. But for simply a color full animation for the whole family it is a fine movie. Watch out for the risk of having the songs stuck in your head after wards. They're quite catchy.

Amazons and Gladiators (2001)

It could have been a great B-movie

[5/10 · 18 August 2007]

The beginning was kind of interesting. Of course the historical facts and costumes and several other things were way off, but it was in an entertaining way. Who cares about historical accurate costumes with accurate dirt when you can have a clean shiny Amazon in a pretty skimpy suit that looks a bit like armor? Who cares about historical facts when you can have scenes that fit the story better? But then when the fighting starts something terrible happens... Suddenly the clichés start piling up and logic is shoved mercilessly aside for more cheap action. It goes downhill so hard that it's impossible to suspend disbelief any longer. A feeling creeps up that the movie has stopped being a cute fantasy-like movie about tough women and starts being the script for a video clip of some R&B singer. I suspect that either from that point someone else was writing the script, or the ending got a last-minute editing because someone though it should be more targeted towards teenage girls. I started the movie with an entertained feeling but ended it with a feeling of utter disappointment.

Little Crumb (1999)

Don't compare it to the book

[7/10 · 26 December 2005]

The story follows a nice pace and many people and places looked a lot liked I pictured them from reading the book. However, having read the book several times in my childhood I felt disappointed about how the movie handles the storyline. Things that were surprises in the book that were kept for the very end were given away halfway the film. In my opinion that spoils a lot of the surprise effect. So my warning to those who read the book is of course not to expect the storyline from the book. And those who want to show people this movie to interest them in the book should be warned that for the best story experience one should read the book first. Otherwise it's a nice family movie that is not a typical Dutch movie at all.

Madame Jeanette (2004 TV Movie)

Surprisingly good story for a Dutch movie.

[7/10 · 12 September 2005]

This movie doesn't quite feature the most Dutch persons a Dutch movie could have and that provides excellent ways to make visibly deal with the Dutch system that they are not fully familiar with.

The elements are easily to be recognized by most people. They have money problems. The husband is a slacker with a big mouth. The children worry about their parents. Changes are not easy to be made. These elements are carefully doses and woven into a story with a good pace, some humor, challenges and a tiny bit of "eww" factor that is luckily only caused by suggestions (no visible gore or sex and not much visible violence). Which makes it almost suitable for the whole family.

And then a ending happens that was only partially predictable.

So I'd say the only Dutch thing about this movie is the language and use of not the best camera equipment in the world.

Scary Movie (2000)

Get some stash before watching this

[1/10 · 4 September 2005]

Mediocre parodies of great scary movies glued together with childish humor. The teens simply don't have any other character traits than being dumb and eager to have sex with anything their age. Most people in the movie are occupied with mainly sex and gore. The killer is too stupid to be true.

The humor consists of underwear, farts, senseless violence which happens ofscreen anyway and kilos of stupidity. Even Leslie Nielsen can do this better.

You'd better be on some serious good drugs before watching this movie. Although I'd think I'd turn around and rather watch the wall and maybe bang my head on it and enjoy the stars.